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In the Name of God بسم الله

Slight predicament

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Guest Ali

I met a shia woman in my workplace. We got to know each other a little and I wanted to get to know her even more, she seems like someone I would be willing to marry. I asked her for her father's phone number and he declined to give permission for a mutah but I even specifically said to him with no physical contact! What should I do next? Keep talking to her to get to know her even though we are namahram ? Or what? Jazakallah

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Salam...u have talk to the women few times and as u said she is good women and you have seen her. Then you should do istikhara and if it comes out positive...  Then maybe you can send your mother and sister to her home and let them get to know her and her family..salam

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Brother, you have used the wrong word with the father of your potential spouse in marriage. No father will react positively to the word mutah for his esteemed daughter. They will be offended. Since you have made this mistake, you need to see the situation from his point of view and his daughter. If you are a serious candidate to marry her then understand his guard is up and he may be slightly angry with you. What is your level of religious knowledge? Do you understand the esteemed Shi'ite values of a female? Do you know the rights of girls and boys in marriage from both sides? If not, read books about marriage from the Shi'ite perspective. Pray to Allah Subahanhu wa Ta'ala, Prophet Muhammed Sallalalhu alais wa Salam and Ahlul Bayt, May Allah Bless and Protect Them for help in correcting this situation and to help you to start out on the right foot if you decide to marry the esteemed and honourable Shi'ite lady.

This being said, it is still very possible to marry this honourable lady and her father will most likely forgive the mistake. If you have found a decent religious Shi'ite woman and she is serious and maintains hijab, then you should propose in marriage. What questions would you ask her to know if she is the "right one"? Are the questions truly relevant? Many times the questions are not relevant. What do you feel in your heart. If she married someone else tomorrow, how would you feel? The knowing in your heart is the true and correct answer to all of your questions.

I will make Dua for you and her and In sha Allah two families will be One.

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Guest Ali
9 hours ago, Mahdavist said:

It would have made more sense to ask him if you could speak to her for the sake of getting to know her for marriage. 

But this would be haram without us being mahram or having a third person present? 

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Guest Ali
8 hours ago, Tabassum Iman said:

Brother, you have used the wrong word with the father of your potential spouse in marriage. No father will react positively to the word mutah for his esteemed daughter. They will be offended.

So in the future do not ask this at all? I don't see why a father would be offended by this if I said no physical contact unless he has very strong cultural stigma

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17 hours ago, Guest Ali said:

But this would be haram without us being mahram or having a third person present? 

If it is done within the guidelines then it is acceptable, for instance meeting at a public location or as you mentioned in the presence of a third person. 

 

17 hours ago, Guest Ali said:

So in the future do not ask this at all? I don't see why a father would be offended by this if I said no physical contact unless he has very strong cultural stigma

Since mut'ah literally means enjoyment, you can understand why it wouldn't be positively received 

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