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In the Name of God بسم الله

Disobeying Parents

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Guest twentyone

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Guest twentyone

Im 21 years old. My parents are extremely protective with me to the point where they are actually sabotaging my life and growth into a mature adult. They do not listen to reason, if I try to reason with them or ask why they make certain rules, they simply say "because we said so, we don't need to provide you with reasoning for our rules". In this case, to what extent am I allowed to disobey them since they are actually doing me HARM and is there any other way this situation can be helped. Thank you

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On 4/22/2021 at 10:01 AM, Guest twentyone said:

Im 21 years old. My parents are extremely protective with me to the point where they are actually sabotaging my life and growth into a mature adult. They do not listen to reason, if I try to reason with them or ask why they make certain rules, they simply say "because we said so, we don't need to provide you with reasoning for our rules". In this case, to what extent am I allowed to disobey them since they are actually doing me HARM and is there any other way this situation can be helped. Thank you

Salaam brother

0 extent unless they prevent you from or advice you against islamic rulings.

A video you must watch:

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you

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On 4/27/2021 at 5:01 PM, Zainuu said:

0 extent unless they prevent you from or advice you against islamic rulings.

 

On 4/27/2021 at 2:54 AM, Mahdavist said:

Generally speaking, you should obey them unless they prevent you from a wajib act or command you towards a haram act.

Why when they are preventing me from doing things that every normal adult my age is learning how to do for their future? 

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1 hour ago, starlight said:

for example?

Taking a job while studying which I am fully able to do. Learning to cook. Leaving the house for anything other than school. 

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28 minutes ago, Guest twentyone said:

Taking a job while studying which I am fully able to do. Learning to cook. Leaving the house for anything other than school. 

this is quiet extreme so if this is the case i would advice you to disobey them for the greater good. Ther strictness will harm you a lot in the long run. I am not saying it is halal to disobey though but sometimes its just very disadventagous to be 100% moral. It probably is a sin for your parents though to be like this when it hurts you mentally and in the future can damage you if you dont have proper survival skills.

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32 minutes ago, Guest twentyone said:

Taking a job while studying which I am fully able to do. Learning to cook. Leaving the house for anything other than school. 

Can't you convince them? Look finally they are your parents. They also want good for you. You just need to make them realize it.

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1 minute ago, Zainuu said:

Can't you convince them? Look finally they are your parents. They also want good for you. You just need to make them realize it.

Talking to older people can be like talking to a wall. Only they know what is best for your life. 

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A brother I know was in the same situation and shame on the parents the only reason why they didn’t want him to get a job was because of the Goverment benefits they where getting. Is money worth more than your child future? He ended up not listening to them they kicked him out of home and now he sells drugs. Kind and loving person but I blame the parents for being the wrong type of strict. 
 

not trying to scare you lol and don’t sell drugs or do haram it’s not worth it but try get to the bottom of why your parents are the way they are. If it’s not going out with certain friends I can understand your parents but if it’s not working and doing things that may benefit your future try get them separately on good days and speak to them. 

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29 minutes ago, Guest twentyone said:

 

Talking to older people can be like talking to a wall. Only they know what is best for your life. 

I can understand. Well, a wall will understand a wall better.

I mean, talk to someone elder who is more open minded among the friends of your father or mother (father's friend wpuld be better). Try to explain him your case and ask him to explain your parents and help you in this case. 

Or any other person who has an extremely good impression on your parents and will understnad your situation.

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30 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

Can't you convince them? Look finally they are your parents. They also want good for you. You just need to make them realize it.

This is a misconception in my opinion. 

1. There are parents who want good for their children and manage to do good because they are rational, balanced and well informed people.

2. There are parents who mean good but manage to mess up their children lives- could be due to emotions getting the better of them or because they are not aware or accepting of the changes happening in the world or make one time poor judgment.

3. There are parents who are negligent, selfish, irresponsible or abusive. 

OP what category do your parents fall in, in your opinion?

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These will seem like minor issues to you once you have completed your education and start working inshaAllah. 

Focus your time and efforts in gaining academic and religious knowledge. Keep good relations with your parents. In the long run this will count more for you than wasting your youth on other activities.

Skills like cooking, cleaning etc are important but can easily be learnt in this day and age. Don't fight with your parents over such details.

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