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In the Name of God بسم الله

UK wedding registration

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Guest Kasim

Salaam, I'm set to get married in 4 weeks time. The lady I'm marrying is Christian but is reverting to Shia islam. Our plan was always to have 2 weddings. A registration for her family and a Muslim wedding for mine. Her family wants us to register. But my family have said registration is un Islamic and have refused to come to the ceremony. The lady is now saying we will have to break up as a result, unless we go through with the registration. What do you think I should do? Do the registration to appease her family? But end up going against mine and upsetting Allah. Or don't and possibly break up?

Thanks

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Wa alaikum as salam brother

Registration is a legal requirement. It doesn't replace the religious marriage but needs to occur so that you are married as per your countries law.

Between the registration and the nikah, make sure you continue to avoid impermissible interactions with your wife as per Islamic law. 

You may try and explain this to your family. If they still don't want to attend then it's their choice but I don't think this is something to break up over.

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Guest Kasim

Thanks for your reply mahdavist. My family is saying that by signing the registration I am signing a pagan document. That goes against islam. Have you come across this before? My partner is also concerned that she will not be protected under UK law if we don't sign it.

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Registration is "legal marriage", right? It isn't required for Muslims, but it isn't prohibited either. Or are you talking about having a Christian wedding? I can understand your parents not wanting to attend a Christian ceremony, but as long as you are confident that it won't hurt your faith, you can attend and participate. It won't count as Islamic marriage, but it is good for friendly relationships with the family of your wife-to-be.

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Guest Kasim

Salaam, no not a Christian wedding. Just a registration ceremony. We looked at having a Christian blessing to appease her family. But the church wanted me to convert, which I odviously won't do. My parents are adamant that I don't go through with the registration. I know going against your parents is a serious sin. I don't feel that registering will effect my relegious beliefs.

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Just now, Guest Kasim said:

My parents are adamant that I don't go through with the registration. I know going against your parents is a serious sin. 

Disobeying your parents is not a sin, disrespecting them is. 

Do it anyway, quietly and don't expect them to be there. Maybe do the legal ceremony after you've already had the nikah and all its associated festivities. 

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Guest Psychological Warfare

Question: Are you required to Register Your Marriage ? in the West.

These Secular laws are not intune with religious laws nor do they provide any recourse. 

Besides, medical insurance coverage, joint tax filing benefit, the Money Stuff, and the Divorce is centered around the custody of minor kids and division of property. 

Looks like Legal Registration is advantages to women, and not for man. 

Correct me if i am wrong. 

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Guest Kasim

That's exactly why my parents don't want me to register. So I'm in a tight spot. As my partner doesn't understand. But I also see her point that she wants to have it recognised by the state. 

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Guest Kasim

I'm not worried about that. But I can see the confusion. My reason for signing it is that she is protected under UK law. My parents think the whole registration is against islam. I meant more the point that secular laws are not intune with religious laws. 

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Guest Psychological Warfare

Unless the Law of the land make it Mandatory and it is required under the Law. 

If it is up to the individuals to Legally register their Marriages with the Secular Government, ( NoT Mandatory/Required). 

Should look into the advantages and disadvantages of such legal contract. Ensure both parties get fair and just treatment under the Secular law. If the secular law is unjust, and it may be the case (rise in the pre and post Nuptial agreements indicates). 

Reason I say this because with we are all aware that in today's Individualistic and Materialistic World. Government have been on track to break up the families and give more power to females. Because they are more liberal and social/economic friendly ( spend more and all new things to be incorporated/bought for the kids) vs Fathers are more restrictive. Single women more likely to work( 50%of population need to be taxed and tax revenue extracted). 

Marriage and divorce laws are designed to support the primary directive. Economic Growth.(TAx/Consumerism) .

If there is a protection offered to a women, it is out of necessity of any financial burden on the Sate/Taxpayers. Not out of genuine welfare. 

Most Religions laws( Jews/Christian/Islam) have no recourse under Secular laws. 

Besides some transient Monetary Benefits, I don't see an benefit. 

Let's say- If you wife goes out your permission- No Recourse

Let's say you don't want her to work- Under secular law no recourse .

Can only marry one. 

There are many issue here , and we need to really take the time to research and understand what we are getting into. Explore...

One could just have a Religious Marriage- Under God's law. And need to find valid reason to register. which I am having trouble finding.

So, make logical, factual recommendations as I may be unaware. 

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Guest Psychological Warfare
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My reason for signing it is that she is protected under UK law

Protected from Who? 

I hope not you, because Islamic Law protects women's legal and legitimate rights. 

Its the Secular law which has defined Permanent Marriage as Temporary Marriage just substitute time limit with My Desires. Once i decide i do not desire i can end the marriage. This is not permanent marriage. Secular Marriage definition is been redefined and it is a Temporary Marriage. Not Permanent. So , you your wife and your kids need protection from rash decisions which secular courts may not be concerned with. The after math of a divorce are profound on kids. In secular world all you need to do is be grew apart or it does not work for me anymore or irreconcilable differences - There is no reason to reconcile or have long term view just end at your time of choosing for whatever reason( true or madeUp). 

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11 hours ago, Guest Kasim said:

Thanks for your reply mahdavist. My family is saying that by signing the registration I am signing a pagan document. That goes against islam. Have you come across this before? My partner is also concerned that she will not be protected under UK law if we don't sign it.

No it isn't a pagan document. There is no religious issue here, you can verify this with any scholar you like.

If I were you I wouldn't discuss or debate this further. It's a minor administrative task, and it will officially legalize your marriage in the country you live in. 

For those who say this favors the woman rather than the man, they fail to realize that without this registration the woman can one day marry any man she likes (while she is still your wife per Islamic law) and that man will legally be her husband.

 

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Guest Psychological Warfare

Basic/fundamental Fact we ignore in Marriage. If a person is Not God conscious, Why would he/she care about you? and if you did marry that person, if he/she leave why would it surprise you? 

 

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:salam:

In most countries it is illegal not to register a marriage. Even in Islamic countries, the religious authority reports to the civil authority. 

Not sure what the problem is. Does your family expect your children to be born out of the system ? What about their social benefits and insurance ? 

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Guest Psychological Warfare
On 4/17/2021 at 1:55 AM, Mahdavist said:

For those who say this favors the woman rather than the man, they fail to realize that without this registration the woman can one day marry any man she likes (while she is still your wife per Islamic law) and that man will legally be her husband.

Marriage is a sacred union. Not what is been defined or redefined by Secular communities.

If a person is Not God conscious, Why would this person be conscious of you in any shape or form? 

Someone who does not recognize a Religious Marriage, after they agree to it. Why would you care if this person leaves? Probably a best thing in the long run. I would move on. Unless kids are involved, at this point she would have a hard time proving they come out of thin air. 

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