Confessions, sins and social media

[starlight]

 

Salam everyone,

I will begin with quoting two narrations 

Confession by a Man of Having Committed Adultery 

It has been reported by Sheikh Sudooq (AR) that a man once came to Hazrat Ali (A) and confessed that he had committed adultery and requested him to purify him of his sin, but Hazrat Ali (A) turned his face to another direction. The man stood up again and said: “Ya Ali. ! I have committed adultery.”

Hazrat Ali (A) again turned his face from his side to another direction and engaged himself in talking with some other people present there. But the man once again addressed Hazrat Ali (A) in the same way, confessed again before him of having committed adultery and requested Hazrat Ali (A) earnestly to purify him of his sin.

Hazrat Ali (A) asked him :“Why are you saying this” ?

“For purification of my sin”, said the man. At first Hazrat Ali (A) said without addressing any man in particular:

“Why people dont' hide their own sins as Allah hides them ...from the eyes of other people ?

The second time when the man requested him again to purify him of his sin, Hazrat Ali (A) remarked :

“What else is there which is better than penitence ? When the man stressed the point for the third time, Hazrat Ali (A) told him that if he repeated his words of confession once again he would have to punish him as had been ordered by Allah;

But when the man, despite the warning by Hazrat Ali (A), repeated the words of confession once again, he asked him as to whether he was physically sound and if his mind was working all right. 

When the man replied in the affirmative, Hazrat Ali (A) said to him.“All right, let me make an enquiry about the soundness of your brain at my own as you have told me now. Therefore, you better wait a bit and come to me after some time when I have completed my enquiry.”

After Amir-ul-Momineen Hazrat Ali (A) had made his private enquiry about the soundness of the man's brain and it proved to be in proper form the man appeared before him again and insisted on the punishment for his above mentioned crime and for his purification thereby.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is this case of a woman who came to Ali, peace be upon him, and said, "Oh Commander of the Faithful, I am married and in the absence of my husband, I have committed adultery and am now pregnant. I wish to be purified from my sin." Hazrat Ali said, "One confession is not sufficient. It should be repeated four times." Then he said, "The punishment for the adultery of a married woman is being stoned to death. If you are dealt this punishment, what happens to the baby in your womb? The baby has done no wrong and must not be stoned. Go away until your baby is born."

After a few months, the woman came again. This time with a baby in her arms and asked to be purified since the baby was horn. This was her second confession. Again Ail, peace be upon him, said, "We might stone you but this baby is not guilty. It needs milk and a mother to nurse it. So, go away now since the baby needs you."

The woman returned home uneasily and after two years reappeared before the Imam, and said, "Purify me now as the baby has been weaned and is growing up." Ali, peace be upon him, said, "Go away. This child still needs a mother." The mother wept and said, "Oh God, I have confessed three times but the Imam has sent me away three times and refused to stone me. I cannot bear being polluted with sin."

As it happened, a hypocrite called Amr bin Hariz saw the woman and asked what the matter was. She explained what had happened and the man said, "I will settle this. Give me the child and let me be his guardian." She was not aware that Ali wanted her not to make the fourth confession. They went back to Ali, peace be upon him, and the woman asked to be purified since the man had agreed to look after the child and insisted on receiving the punishment. Ali, peace be upon him, felt very uncomfortable that the matter reached a point where no alternative was left for him but to order her to be punished.

Source : Al-Manaqib

What I wanted to remind everyone, particularly the young people here who have grown up in an age of oversharing on social media is that If Allah has covered your sin, don't create confessions or witnesses for it. 

If you indulge in a sin in private (zina, drinking, watching porn, masturbation etc) it's between you and Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). Allah is Raheem, He wants to forgive humans if they truly repent. He can erase it from the book of records like it never happened. 

However, if you post about it on social media or talk about it with people now you have created witnesses for you sin.

a. If Imam e Zamana(عليه السلام) comes tomorrow and starts administering sharia punishments, where does that leave us?  

b. On the day of Judgement, I might not want you to undergo punishment for your sin but my sight and my hearing(my eyes and ears) may testify against you against my will. 

I am stressing more on social media because with a few clicks one can reach out to hundreds and thousands of people, though discussing it with people in real life carries the same effects with lesser magnitude.

I see muslims posting so mindlessly on social media, the songs they are listening to, non hijabish outfits, indecent swear words, public displays of affection. While some these might have been witnessed by many people and do not come under the the acts I discussed earlier, still posting about those creates desensitization about these acts and encourages others to cross the line. Don't undermine your contribution by telling yourself, 'millions of others are doing it, so what difference would my post make.' Those millions are not going to be in your grave answering for your deeds. You alone will have to carry the burden when it's time for accountability. 

 

So what if you have committed a sinful act or are involved in an addiction and would like to ask for help.

First and foremost, repent. Truly repent as soon as possible.

“(When) The servant (intends to do) a good action, and if he does not do it, Allaah writes for him one good (deed) for his good niyyah. And if he does the action, Allaah writes for him ten (good deeds). And he intends to do an evil (deed), and if does not do the (evil) action (Allaah) doesn’t write for him anything. And if he does the (evil) action (Allaah) delays (in recording) seven hours”
Source:
  Al-Kulayni, Al-Kaafi, vol. 2, pg. 429 – 430, hadeeth # 4

Imam Jafar al-Sadiq ((عليه السلام)) stated: You should hold your hopes up high with regards to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) mercy, so much so that you should never despair of his mercy after having sinned, and you should be conscious of Him to the extent that you should not become hopeless of Him forgiving your sins.

Tuhfat al-Uqul, p.31

Secondly, there are plenty of resources and reading material available online to help you. Read up those. Please make some effort to do a google search and you will find so much good advice. Our scholars have invested their whole lives to spread of message of Ahlulbayt(عليه السلام) to the general people.  (It has gotten so frustrating for me to see such questions on SC, 'whats the distance for qasr', 'What things can I do a sajdah on?' These are simple jurisprudential questions Bro/sis. Please take a few days to read the tawzeeh that your marja spent many years of his life compiling for you!)

Thirdly, If you feel the need to talk to someone, do so anonymously and better to do it in third person. For example, instead of saying,' I have committed adultery' say 'if someone has committed adultery what should one do next' 

May Allah guide us all and our families on the path of Ahlulbayt(عليه السلام).

Edited March 27, 2021 by starlight

[Abu Hadi]

Thank you for that. Also, I would like to add that most people are reaching out to social media, thinking that there is some random person out there in cyber space that has a solution to their problem. The reality is that almost always the solution to the problem is within themselves or within their immediate community where they live, with the help of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). When people open up to random people in cyber space, all they do is possibly create problem for themselves in the future, when their future spouse or future employer searches them up and finds their posts, when they may have gotten over the problem and completely forgot about their posts. 

[pseudonym]

Assalamun Alaykum,

All of the above being said, there are bound to be young people who will reach out almost in despair and emotional stress, in those circumstances let's please remember constructive criticism if required, not destructive.

[Sirius_Bright]

People come as anonymous in place like SC. As long as they are behind the veils of anonymity, they can ask questions without us being a witness. 

A critical point here is to first search the internet, forums and check if the advice is already available. It is available more often than not. More the confession of sin on the internet, more it gives the impression to others as something normal. 

[The Green Knight]

4 hours ago, starlight said:

Salam everyone,

I will begin with quoting two narrations 

Confession by a Man of Having Committed Adultery 

It has been reported by Sheikh Sudooq (AR) that a man once came to Hazrat Ali (A) and confessed that he had committed adultery and requested him to purify him of his sin, but Hazrat Ali (A) turned his face to another direction. The man stood up again and said: “Ya Ali. ! I have committed adultery.”

Hazrat Ali (A) again turned his face from his side to another direction and engaged himself in talking with some other people present there. But the man once again addressed Hazrat Ali (A) in the same way, confessed again before him of having committed adultery and requested Hazrat Ali (A) earnestly to purify him of his sin.

Hazrat Ali (A) asked him :“Why are you saying this” ?

“For purification of my sin”, said the man. At first Hazrat Ali (A) said without addressing any man in particular:

“Why people dont' hide their own sins as Allah hides them ...from the eyes of other people ?

The second time when the man requested him again to purify him of his sin, Hazrat Ali (A) remarked :

“What else is there which is better than penitence ? When the man stressed the point for the third time, Hazrat Ali (A) told him that if he repeated his words of confession once again he would have to punish him as had been ordered by Allah;

But when the man, despite the warning by Hazrat Ali (A), repeated the words of confession once again, he asked him as to whether he was physically sound and if his mind was working all right. 

When the man replied in the affirmative, Hazrat Ali (A) said to him.“All right, let me make an enquiry about the soundness of your brain at my own as you have told me now. Therefore, you better wait a bit and come to me after some time when I have completed my enquiry.”

After Amir-ul-Momineen Hazrat Ali (A) had made his private enquiry about the soundness of the man's brain and it proved to be in proper form the man appeared before him again and insisted on the punishment for his above mentioned crime and for his purification thereby.

Wa alaikum as-salam WR WB

Thanks a lot for sharing this. Indeed we should all cover each others' sins as Allah does.May I ask what punishment was awarded to the man afterwards? 80 lashes IIRC? I also have read that. Do not remember the source. And if a married commits fornication the punishment is much worse right?

[rkazmi33]

I mostly share on facebook and I have only 30 friends on facebook. Yet, everything that I post becomes a topic of discussion in islamic center and also my work place. I even post in urdu because I am tired of the unwanted attention. Facebook is only outlet for my frustration sometimes and I have good/ sincere friends there. If my privacy settings are private and since we are talking about right thing to do, it is also a sin to steal someone's password and find out what they are posting. Everything I post should only remain confined to my facebook friends. Especially, people who don't understand urdu, if they are trying to figure out what I am posting and telling everyone, they are breaking the rules. 

When Biden was elected, everyone was relieved. I was also happy and posted praises for Biden. But all the people whom I know in real life, and they have the personality like Biden, took it as a sign of my effection towards "them", then it's not my fault. That just means I am not allowed to post anything ever. I completely understand the viewpoint that no government should even try to implement shariat. Because if we decide to start giving out punishments for sins, then islam just becomes a tool in the hands of bullies and tyrants who punish their own enemies for every single mistake and bend the rules for their favorite people. 

Edited March 27, 2021 by rkazmi33

[The Green Knight]

1 hour ago, pseudonym said:

Assalamun Alaykum,

All of the above being said, there are bound to be young people who will reach out almost in despair and emotional stress, in those circumstances let's please remember constructive criticism if required, not destructive.

But you do not know another person's intention, of course. The way SC exists now, it is very easy to be malicious. Often I have suspected and theorize because I know that apostates especially fake and throw out weird questions and situations over the internet. Allow me to give an example.

Apostate X had his aql taken by Allah. Like Kabeel he is now an enemy of believers. He registers a couple of accounts and also has the option to post as a guest. On day 1 he posts: "I have masturbation addiction". On day 2 "I had sex with my dog" After a few days with another account / name "I can't stop masturbating" and then later as another guest (guest accounts take the cake for enabling this) :Whats the use of praying?". Now each day suppose a Muslim teen logs onto SC and he has to read each of those and children are most susceptible due to lack of experience.  Apostate X is not only ruining the reader's mood, since the reader logged on to read Shia things or things from Shias, he is also deviously using a widely practoced psychological technique called "Suggestion" (google it). TV, media, people, newpapers, billboard signs, businesses, salesmen, everyone in the know is using it since decades.

Please keep in mind this is just a thought meant to scrutinize such posts, and there is quite an abundance of such posts. As other people have wrote and we agree, there is no benefit for any party in many of such posts and no one other than the sinner himself can be of help except there is the intention of receiving punishment which who these days will award? By comforting the sinner he will only learn that its okay to sin. He will sin again and seek comfort or endorsement online. Pardon me but this isn't right in any way.

[AbdusSibtayn]

Among the Holy Names of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is 'as-Sattār ul-Üyūb' (the Concealer of Defects). "Confessing" one's sins, or publicizing others' sins, are both affronts to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) - it is acting against His will by exposing what He in His infinite Wisdom and Mercy has concealed from the others. One has rejected the mercy of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) by publicizing his/her sin.

[starlight]

1 hour ago, The Green Knight said:

does.May I ask what punishment was awarded to the man afterwards? 80 lashes IIRC? I also have read that. Do not remember the source. And if a married commits fornication the punishment is much worse right?

In this case Imam pronounced stoning(probably he was married, as far as I remember for someone who is unmarried or the spouse is away the punishment is lashes and for those who are married and spouse is available to them it's stoning)

So according to Shiekh Kulayni the people gathered to stone him whereupon the Imam said , 'only those people can stone the man who had not committed a crime for which punishment was necessary'. That left behind only the Amir ul momineen(عليه السلام) and his two sons who then stoned the man until he had died, performed his funeral and buried him. Imam pronounced the man being purified. 

[pseudonym]

Asslaamun Alaykum,

GreenKnight - To me you are very correct in your observations.

100% yes definitely, we must criticise but just that we make it constructive, so others that read can see the sin is not approved/endorsed in any way, just that we rebuke so as not to kill the hope... there are genuine youngsters and we may push them over the edge if we aren't careful. 

Forums such as this can never become like a Catholic confessional, then someone on here says; recite so many Ya Ali's((عليه السلام)) and off you go.

If we can find such a balance this I think would be a good thing, happy to learn and be corrected.

[The Green Knight]

10 hours ago, pseudonym said:

we may push them over the edge if we aren't careful. 

Respectfully, the Quran tells us that the holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) did not have the power to "pull" (guidance) and his most scary hadiths and harshest orders (like declaring alcohol haram) did not "push" anyone who wasn't already a hypocrite. I believe our religion chooses people and not the other way around. People who are alive and have "aql" and lean towards finding their Creator. Its in the Quran and hadith. We can not save or destroy anyone. Guidance and misguidance is from Allah.

Edited March 28, 2021 by The Green Knight

[pseudonym]

We are in agreement, we have no might nor power and only Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) guides for sure, yes my words were wrong when I used the phrase about pushing someone over the edge.

The key thing is on a forum, it's not just the person who wrote the initial post that reads the interactions, everything is in the hand of Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) but that doesn't mean we can say whatever we want either. Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is also the only All-Knowing, we can't judge what will happen to us tomorrow let alone anyone else, so why not use language which doesn't hurt other's sentiments, especially when they are crying out for help.

[Abu Hadi]

22 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

I mostly share on facebook and I have only 30 friends on facebook. Yet, everything that I post becomes a topic of discussion in islamic center and also my work place. I even post in urdu because I am tired of the unwanted attention. Facebook is only outlet for my frustration sometimes and I have good/ sincere friends there. If my privacy settings are private and since we are talking about right thing to do, it is also a sin to steal someone's password and find out what they are posting. Everything I post should only remain confined to my facebook friends. Especially, people who don't understand urdu, if they are trying to figure out what I am posting and telling everyone, they are breaking the rules. 

When Biden was elected, everyone was relieved. I was also happy and posted praises for Biden. But all the people whom I know in real life, and they have the personality like Biden, took it as a sign of my effection towards "them", then it's not my fault. That just means I am not allowed to post anything ever. I completely understand the viewpoint that no government should even try to implement shariat. Because if we decide to start giving out punishments for sins, then islam just becomes a tool in the hands of bullies and tyrants who punish their own enemies for every single mistake and bend the rules for their favorite people. 

You might remain anonymous, you might not, that depends. The more you post about these things, the more likely you are to put in a detail here and a detail there about where you live, what age you are, some details about your family, like how many brothers and sisters you have. Maybe your occupation or the occupation of your parents, maybe details about a masjid or center you attend, what your ethnic background is, etc. So people who want to be malicious, and believe me there are more of those than you think, will 'stich' these details together and based on that will be able to get a pretty good idea about who you are. You are not revealing yourself on purpose, but it is very difficult to think about every single thing you say, especially when you post alot, and filter out all of these details that could reveal your identity. 

That is why, if you look at my posts for example, I just assume that most of the people on ShiaChat know who I am, my name, where I live, etc. I even had my picture as my avatar at one point but the other mods thought this would put me at risk somehow, so I took this down. I don't deliberately post this, because I don't want to make the job easier for those who don't like me and might want to harm me. But I assume the information is out there, if someone really wants to spend some time to 'stich' things together. So I am not under the assumption that I am anonymous. 

I have difficult issues that I am dealing with, like everyone else, and I have problems in my family, personal, and spiritual life from time to time just like everyone else. At the same time, I don't post about these on ShiaChat. Fortunately for me, I have a family, and also others in the community where I live that I can turn to for these things. For those who don't, may Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) help them to find someone in their community and offline world who can help them with these things. 

These observations probably apply doubly to platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc, who are run by non muslims whose sole concern is profit. They sell your data to the highest bidder. They have much more details about you on the backend (info not available publicly to everyone) like your IP Address, MAC Address, which for those who don't know is the location of your computer / device you are using and it's unique address, called a MAC Address. They also have other data on you, like login history, etc, which will further identify you. Now like I said, these details are not available to normal users of the platform, but if someone wants to buy these details from one of these platforms, they would be happy to sell them (something which ShiaChat does not do, btw, which is why we are a small platform) for the right price. So if someone has money and wants to find you, they definitely can. The only question is does someone with money and somewhat of a good idea how these platforms work want to find you ? That is the only real question. 

Edited March 28, 2021 by Abu Hadi

[Haji 2003]

On 3/27/2021 at 11:56 AM, Sirius_Bright said:

People come as anonymous in place like SC. As long as they are behind the veils of anonymity, they can ask questions without us being a witness. 

Yes and no.

Lots of new threads on haram activities risk normalising haram behaviour and bear in mind that such threads don't have to be created by genuine Shia Muslims. So there is absolutely no way that all of them will be approved all of the time.

[Sirius_Bright]

1 hour ago, Haji 2003 said:

Yes and no.

Lots of new threads on haram activities risk normalising haram behaviour and bear in mind that such threads don't have to be created by genuine Shia Muslims. So there is absolutely no way that all of them will be approved all of the time.

I mentioned in the next para that searching for the problem is an important thing to be considered before creating a thread. 

On 3/27/2021 at 5:26 PM, Sirius_Bright said:

A critical point here is to first search the internet, forums and check if the advice is already available. It is available more often than not. More the confession of sin on the internet, more it gives the impression to others as something normal

 

[Abu Hadi]

Just found an interesting article about how 'anonymous' you really are. I know many people know about this, but some don't. 

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20210324-the-hidden-fingerprint-inside-your-photos

[Sirius_Bright]

Privacy is a myth. Everytime I'm reading @Haji 2003's post, I feel like he is snapping my pic.

Edited March 31, 2021 by Sirius_Bright
Check his profile picture

[hasanhh]

21 minutes ago, Sirius_Bright said:

Privacy is a myth. This is a 'given.'

 

Everytime I'm reading @Haji 2003's post, I feel like he is snapping my pic.

 Hmmmmmm . . . l wonder . . .        . . . Maybe SC is a covert operation?

 

 "S.C. = secret conspiracy?"