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In the Name of God بسم الله

Mutah Marriage

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Salam

Can Mutah be performed while the girl is on her period

Talking to a girl atm but she’s on her period, she told me mutah can’t be performed while she is and to wait a couple days, I just want to make our conversation we having now halal

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Yes you can recite the contract while on her period but as @lissenma said, you can also talk to her without mutah

I have a similar question though

If I am on a muslim matchmaking site and am talking to someone, and we want to meet face to face maybe for coffee or lunch, is it haram? I know that technically there is supposed to be a third party present but if two people meet and talk in a public place with no bad intentions is it really a big deal?

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3 hours ago, Guest Other guest said:

Yes you can recite the contract while on her period but as @lissenma said, you can also talk to her without mutah

I have a similar question though

If I am on a muslim matchmaking site and am talking to someone, and we want to meet face to face maybe for coffee or lunch, is it haram? I know that technically there is supposed to be a third party present but if two people meet and talk in a public place with no bad intentions is it really a big deal?

Salam, 

Yes, you can still talk with her while she is on her period ....

If a muslim is on a match making site, and talking to the opposite gender technically it's haram as per the most purest Islamic Laws (1400 years ago LOL)... but times have changed and Sistani is quite vague on men and women talking... he generally says if it may lead to sin then it's haram. Your intentions seem pure enough as you want to get to know her for marriage purposes. Just keep it respectful and you should be okay. 

 

WS. 

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1 hour ago, YoungSkiekh313 said:

If a muslim is on a match making site, and talking to the opposite gender technically it's haram as per the most purest Islamic Laws (1400 years ago LOL)...

Source? 

If you are flirting or joking around then yes.

But if you are having a serious and professional/formal conversation/dialogue to ask important questions to learn about your potential spouse then I don't believe there's anything wrong with that. It's even encouraged. 

1 hour ago, YoungSkiekh313 said:

Sistani is quite vague on men and women talking...

He's quite clear actually. He disallows being friends with them. He also disallows joking around with them. 

Professional/business-like interactions are fine though.

Generally the interactions should be based on necessity.  

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19 hours ago, AStruggler said:

But if you are having a serious and professional/formal conversation/dialogue to ask important questions to learn about your potential spouse then I don't believe there's anything wrong with that. It's even encouraged.  

I understand this. however is it ok for that serious formal discussion to take place without the presence of a third person? I've heard people saying that it's not allowed unless another person is present, even if the two are meeting and talking in an outdoor area

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12 hours ago, Guest Other guest said:

I understand this. however is it ok for that serious formal discussion to take place without the presence of a third person? I've heard people saying that it's not allowed unless another person is present, even if the two are meeting and talking in an outdoor area

Good question. I do not have the knowledge to answer you. 

I suggest asking a qualified scholar or your marja'. There's a great Android App called Ask Those Who Know where you can message scholars. If you do taqlid of Ayatollah Sistani then his website is: sistani.org

However, you may find this really helpful: https://www.al-islam.org/youth-and-spouse-selection-ali-akbar-mazaheri/chapter-six-selection#eighth-way-seeing-each-other

If you look at chapter 6, the scholar explains stages of getting to know a potential spouse. In stage 7, he explains the stage of "Direct Talk". Quickly skimming over it, I didn't see him write anywhere that a guardian/third-party needs to be present in the conversation.  

In fact, he says, "...Following the crossing of the pervious ways and achieving a positive result, the boy and the girl must definitely have direct dialogue to consider and discuss their problems and views in a comfortable atmosphere without any fear and pressure from others..."

Edited by AStruggler
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11 hours ago, AStruggler said:

the boy and the girl must definitely have direct dialogue to consider and discuss their problems and views in a comfortable atmosphere without any fear and pressure from others..."

I think this part implies that privacy is allowed because topics of discussion could be sensitive

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On 2/20/2021 at 3:19 PM, YoungSkiekh313 said:

Salam, 

Yes, you can still talk with her while she is on her period ....

If a muslim is on a match making site, and talking to the opposite gender technically it's haram as per the most purest Islamic Laws (1400 years ago LOL)... but times have changed and Sistani is quite vague on men and women talking... he generally says if it may lead to sin then it's haram. Your intentions seem pure enough as you want to get to know her for marriage purposes. Just keep it respectful and you should be okay. 

 

WS. 

That's not entirely correct. It depends on your niyyat (intention) for the talking. If the niyyat is to talk to her so that you can (possibly, with her consent of course) have a halal marriage relationship (either mutah or zawaj tul nikah), then there is nothing wrong with it, as long as you conduct yourself as non mahram to her before the recitation of the marriage contract. If your niyyat is to do something haram with her without a contract (aqd), then, only then is it haram to talk to her. Also if you know that she's not Muslima or Ahl Al Kitab then it's haram to talk to her (for marriage) since you can't marry her. This is per Sayyid Sistani, as well as every marjaa' I am familiar with. 

Edited by Abu Hadi
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No. Marriage is mustahab, whether it is mutah or zawaj tul nikah. What is discouraged, actually haram,  is misrepresenting your intentions (i.e. lying) in the contract. For example, if you do mutah with a girl and you tell her that 'Im only doing mutah to get to know you, and once we get to know each other a little, then I will go for the zawaj nikah' when you have no such intention of doing that, or you haven't decided whether you want to do that with this particular woman, then that is haram. This is from both sides, so if the lady says this when she has no such intention, it is also haram, although this is less common. 

If both are clear about their intentions from the beginning, then it is mustahab, whatever type of marriage it is. 

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45 minutes ago, Abu Hadi said:

No. Marriage is mustahab, whether it is mutah or zawaj tul nikah.

 

This is a reckless and dangerous thing to say.

Brother I am not trying to be rude. But I say the above because someone with your insight should think about the consequences of promoting that view. 

Edited by Muhammed Ali
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10 minutes ago, Guest Hero said:

So if my initial claim is not true, then it means that virtues of the other person are relevant when doing nikah but irrelevant with mutah? That doesn't sound right 

That is not right.

If you engage in physical intimacy with a person, whether your permanent or temporary spouse, they should be a person you would want as the parent of your child. 

Edited by notme
Typo.
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35 minutes ago, notme said:

That is not right.

If you engage in physical intimacy with a person, whether your permanent or temporary spouse, they should be a person you would want as the parent of your child. 

Right so I don't understand@Abu Hadi's disagreement? 

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15 hours ago, Muhammed Ali said:

This is a reckless and dangerous thing to say.

Brother I am not trying to be rude. But I say the above because someone with your insight should think about the consequences of promoting that view. 

What are you taking issue with ? That marriage is mustahab ?

Thats not just my opinion. Look on the website of any marja.

Yes there are specific circumstances where it is wajib others where it is makrooh or even haram( such as when one is in the state of ihram). But in general it is mustahab. Mutah is marriage

Edited by Abu Hadi
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1 hour ago, Abu Hadi said:

What are you taking issue with ? That marriage is mustahab ?

Thats not just my opinion. Look on the website of any marja.

Yes there are specific circumstances where it is wajib others where it is makrooh or even haram( such as when one is in the state of ihram). But in general it is wajib. Mutah is marriage

My question was that if there is a person, who's character is such that you would want to permanently marry them, is it discouraged to also temporarily marry them? 

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6 hours ago, Guest Hero said:

So if my initial claim is not true, then it means that virtues of the other person are relevant when doing nikah but irrelevant with mutah? That doesn't sound right 

Regardless of whether it's a temporary or permanent marriage, the person you are choosing will be your spouse.So ask yourself what kind of spouse do you want to have and that will be your answer regardless of the duration or type of marriage.

 There will be some spiritual implications of your time spent together even if it's a short time so spouse selection shouldn't be taken lightly.

You should be attracted to her and feel a sense of 'gheera' about her. You would want her to be chaste and of a good conduct generally. There should be respect in the relationship and last but not the least how would you feel about having children with that woman. These are a few basic criteria and I don't see how they would change in temporary marriage vs mutah. 

A possibility of unintended pregnancy with your Mutah partner should always be kept in mind. I have seen members brush it off but here are some statistics about induced abortions:

Fifty-one percent of abortion patients 
had used a contraceptive method in the 
month they got pregnant, most commonly condoms (27%) or a hormonal method (17%).

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2 hours ago, starlight said:

Regardless of whether it's a temporary or permanent marriage, the person you are choosing will be your spouse.So ask yourself what kind of spouse do you want to have and that will be your answer regardless of the duration or type of marriage.

 There will be some spiritual implications of your time spent together even if it's a short time so spouse selection shouldn't be taken lightly.

You should be attracted to her and feel a sense of 'gheera' about her. You would want her to be chaste and of a good conduct generally. There should be respect in the relationship and last but not the least how would you feel about having children with that woman. These are a few basic criteria and I don't see how they would change in temporary marriage vs mutah. 

A possibility of unintended pregnancy with your Mutah partner should always be kept in mind. I have seen members brush it off but here are some statistics about induced abortions:

Fifty-one percent of abortion patients 
had used a contraceptive method in the 
month they got pregnant, most commonly condoms (27%) or a hormonal method (17%).

I see. It's hard enough to find a Shia with good virtues for a permanent nikah. Add in the cultural stigma of mutah and the fact that most fathers aren't ok with their daughters doing mutah and I think it's probably a 1 in a million chance of finding someone for mutah. I'll probably just wait till I'm a little older and more established and get a permanent nikah

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9 hours ago, Muhammed Ali said:

This is a reckless and dangerous thing to say.

Brother I am not trying to be rude. But I say the above because someone with your insight should think about the consequences of promoting that view. 

This is quite a strange comment. I am surprised that someone would contest the claim of marriage being mustahab. Please do take the time to study the Qur'an and our narrations, hopefully this will clear any social or cultural misconceptions you may have. 

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1 minute ago, Mahdavist said:

This is quite a strange comment. I am surprised that someone would contest the claim of marriage being mustahab. Please do take the time to study the Qur'an and our narrations, hopefully this will clear any social or cultural misconceptions you may have. 

You made an argument in the other thread and I responded to it. You can respond there.  I have no social misconceptions. I am from the west where promiscuity is celebrated. My views are against my culture and the irrational views of some of the shia. 

Calling mutah mustahab is an abomination. You people are gamblers who gamble that those handful of ahadith are authentic. You discount all the factors that make them weak and are even unwilling to balance them out with other narrations.

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1 minute ago, Muhammed Ali said:

Calling mutah mustahab is an abomination. You people are gamblers who gamble that those handful of ahadith are authentic. You discount all the factors that make them weak and are even unwilling to balance them out with other narrations.

Explain why they are weak, apart from the fact that they make you uncomfortable.

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24 minutes ago, Mahdavist said:

Explain why they are weak, apart from the fact that they make you uncomfortable.

I gave you an example in the other thread. It's a good argument. I countered your refutation. The greater sunnah and other narrations contradict the idea that it is mustahab. You make too many assumptions when you say a hadith is authentic. You don't even have any means to ascertain if the books of rijal are authentic. You just trust them and trust many other things.

I could bring some unconventional reasons too but .. but that I think would be unwise for now.

I think the idea of mutah being mustahab would make you uncomfortable took if you took it seriously. A mustahab act is something that people should seek out and perform frequently in order increase rewards. A bit like how reciting dua and charity are mustahab.

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5 minutes ago, Muhammed Ali said:

I gave you an example in the other thread. It's a good argument. I countered your refutation.

You will have to remind me which thread this was, I seem to be forgetting things quickly these days. I will take a look at your good argument inshaAllah and we can continue the discussion there. 

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Guest Syed Ali

Salaam,

We are too much occupied if Mutah is good or bad, mustahab or not,  etc etc

Please read Al Kafi , the Book on marriage. If I can take this liberty to say, as Shias, we should be promiscuous but within the limits of halal and not committing zina. 

Our sect and whole muslim community is hopelessly lagging behind socially and economically. High time we put our minds discussing scientific research on shiachat rather than arguing on mutah.

Edited by Hameedeh
typo
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11 hours ago, Guest Hero said:

My question was that if there is a person, who's character is such that you would want to permanently marry them, is it discouraged to also temporarily marry them? 

If you find someone with the characteristics that you are looking for in a spouse, AND you have the ability to get zawaj nikah with him/her, then that is the preferred option. When I say ability to, that means that you fulfill the requirements of zawaj tul nikah which includes for the man to be able to give the woman the nafakha (basic support), a house, food, and clothes. I think where the misunderstanding comes in is around the idea of 'house, food, clothes'. You don't need a 4 bedroom house in an upper class suburb with two cars. That is not what nafakha is, and that is not what the requirement is. If you wait until you have this to get married, then you are going against the religion, possibly, if you commit haram while waiting to get this. A house means any place (an apartment, a part of a larger house, even a mobile home or a trailer) where you and your wife can stay that is private and secure, as much as you can. Clothes is anything you can use to cover your body. Food is anything that is halal to eat. 

If you can do this, the nafakha, then you should do zawaj tul nikah. If you can't then you should do mutah (if she agrees) with the promise from you that when you get into a situation where you can provide the nafakha then you can do the zawaj. In either case, if a man finds a woman or a woman finds a man with good Aklaq and good Deen and Iman, they should get married, full stop, because these people are very, very hard to find and you might never find one again. 

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