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In the Name of God بسم الله

Hatred towards father

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Guest Ahmad

My mother works very hard in the house and my father doesn't help at all. I'm only person who helps her. Every day I see him not helping out in the house, my resentment grows. Even more so now that he works from home because of the pandemic, he has no excuse of being exhausted from work. Even if he left the house for 8 hours a day to work, he still has zero excuse to not help out. 

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Guest Psychological Warfare

Some Generic background to the issues which are in the forefront these days and have been since the women was recognized as a potential work/tax entity.

They worked with the media (print, tv, movies) of the time, to create and image of a Slave and Abused women in the house. It worked like a charm, as they were also exploiting a potential of a women to feel free and earn money for their "Work" and have a independent social status.

Never informed, the public that they are taking the women out of one form of slavery into another, as it benefited them, and relied on the simpletons to not catch this fact. Even if some did they were just silenced abruptly as it was not politically and socially correct. As you know women have influence our their man and due to their weakness form certain desires man usually want to avoid their displeasure for Obvious reason, of leverage a women has our them.

Now that All this has been going on for a long time and as become a norm people think its the standard. Focus is on the women and not on man. Actually in some communities man are abused these days but its not politically correct to talk or mention it.

So, we judge people with the norms and values created by the environment.

Normally, what happens between parents are not usually of kids concern. Unless there are (extreme circumstances).

So, it will benefit the kids and the parent if the kids were not judging their parents based on the new value system they have acquired due to their environment. I understand, the media these days is like that and this is socially induced behavior on chat. Not really helpful to the kids- focus on your life. You might do more harm if you were to interfere in things which you may not fully comprehend until you get married and become parents yourself. 

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3 hours ago, Guest Ahmad said:

My mother works very hard in the house and my father doesn't help at all. I'm only person who helps her. Every day I see him not helping out in the house, my resentment grows. Even more so now that he works from home because of the pandemic, he has no excuse of being exhausted from work. Even if he left the house for 8 hours a day to work, he still has zero excuse to not help out. 

Salaam brother,

This is a nature of the traditional people. It depends on the upbringing, on the environment someone has lived in. Also, a lot of other factors. Maybe he is tensed or has some worries. Can't say.

But you know about your family better and if he is just being lazy then the best way is to be wise. Let your mom go somewhere. The best place would be her parents' home. Then he will be forced to get up and work. Let her stay for a month or so over there due to numerous possible reasons and let your father manage everything for this time.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you

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Guest Ahmad
37 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

Salaam brother,

This is a nature of the traditional people. It depends on the upbringing, on the environment someone has lived in. Also, a lot of other factors. Maybe he is tensed or has some worries. Can't say.

But you know about your family better and if he is just being lazy then the best way is to be wise. Let your mom go somewhere. The best place would be her parents' home. Then he will be forced to get up and work. Let her stay for a month or so over there due to numerous possible reasons and let your father manage everything for this time.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you

Thank you, but her parents live back home in Pakistan, I wish there was a way to just talk to him and reverse his mentality

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6 hours ago, Guest Ahmad said:

Thank you, but her parents live back home in Pakistan, I wish there was a way to just talk to him and reverse his mentality

Ok. So, then that is not a possibility. Then you keep helping your mom with her work and don't get angry on your father. When he will see you helping her then her inner self might provoke him someday to act.

Even my father when I was a kid helped my mom little in house works. But later he starting doing so when he saw me and my siblings helping mom.

So, children are the bridge between there mother and father. Try to act in that way.

Also, spend some time with your father. Talk to him and be nice and respectful to him. Be a good child and seeing all this he will melt.

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:salam:

10 hours ago, Guest Ahmad said:

Even more so now that he works from home because of the pandemic, he has no excuse of being exhausted from work

What. Have you never felt tired after studying for hours ? 

Just curious, have you any idea of how hard your father works ? 

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