Visiting a psychiatrist for the first time ever!

[Gaius I. Caesar 8,709]

3 hours ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

So I can't say I don't want to go in details...that would sound stupid to him definitely

It will make his job harder and quite frankly, be a waste of an appointment. Your parents are obviously concerned for your well-being, some don't have parents like yours. Tell him everything, no matter difficult or uncomfortable it is for you.

[Caroling 66]

OP:

In your other threads, you seem to have depression since you have dropped out of college and other obligations. 
 

Don’t take medication if you don’t want to. A therapist won’t tell you to take medication, but give you the tools to heal and regulate your emotions. You may eventually go back to school. But you need to see a therapist. You’ve already hit a low point emotionally and it’s not going to get better until you seek professional help.

[Gaius I. Caesar 8,709]

2 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

. I watch Dr. Phil, and sometimes he is very understanding and compassionate but sometimes he is very mean to people and it seems like he is only bullying people along with other family members.

Dr. Phil isn't even a certified doctor, he's a reality tv star and is just putting on a show.

[ali_fatheroforphans 6,105]

5 hours ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

Any advice..what to expect from the first ever appointment

The Jewish part shouldn't be an issue. But generally it's okay to shop till you find the right therapist. Find one who you really feel comfortable around. I'm saying this cos it's an investment, so decide what's best for you. 

[ali_fatheroforphans 6,105]

Also some non-Muslim therapists can be way more competent and better than Muslim ones. You don't have to find the one who has the exact same beliefs as you, they are not there to judge your personal choices in life or beliefs. 

[BleedKnee 174]

3 hours ago, Caroling said:

This shows that a lot people have really secluded themselves, that non-muslims are some scary “other”. 

I'm not scared of non-Muslims. They're usually scared of me. 

Anyways, I was only mentioning this because no matter what we carry biases, and even though psychiatrists have a positive intention (hence why they chose their career), those biases might seep into the attempt to understanding your life and your problems. People have complained about this before. It's the reason why there's an entire discourse on the issue of diversity within the psychiatry field. 

[ali_fatheroforphans 6,105]

1 hour ago, BleedKnee said:

those biases might seep into the attempt to understanding your life and your problems.

Anyone can be biased though. It's not a reason to shy away from Non Muslim therapists. Even Muslim ones can perhaps read our situation completely wrong and bring in wrong Islamic theories to judge out problems. 

It's not that black and white.

[hasanhh 10,156]

3 hours ago, Sabrejet said:

Saying that they are bad sound like something a chris!ian scientist will say.

How the sentence would be completed in my generation.

[hasanhh 10,156]

3 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

he's a reality tv star and is just putting on a show.

l see the very end of his show almost daily. This explains why he was promoting his wife's  . . . whatever; which l found 'odd' at the time.

[starlight 14,754]

@Ain-Al Hayat Relax, he is just a doctor. Think of him as such.

He isn't hujjah upon you.

You can refuse to answer anything that makes you uncomfortable, just like you have the right to refuse physical exam.

You can always change doctors if you are not satisfied with him.

Your Uncle and his recommendations aren't the foremost priority here, your well being is. I am not saying you discard well meaning advice staright away, just reminding you that you aren't under an obligation to obey your father or uncle's advice in this matter. 

Since you said he is a psychiatrist so he will be prescribing some medicine(s). Tell him you will like the minimum dose for the minimum duration possible.

[hasanhh 10,156]

5 hours ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

Okay ... I'm not in the jokes right now.. I'm seriously worried if he does use this method ....

lt is still just a suggestion. You have ignored suggestions before.

And your polite reaction to my comic comment has shown you haven't willed-yourself-into a "why doesn't everybody feel sorry for me" posture.

Now this is what l suggest at the moment (based on your word usage somewhere in your multi-thread posts): start charting by  writing down a short description of each conflicted thought/impulse. Then articulate them by using a thesaurus. Organize them into groups after a few days (or even hours). Then start sorting through them. Among other things, once you get things articulated, it will be easier to solve them.

[Ansar Shiat Ali 987]

8 hours ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

Salaam everyone

I hope I'm not that annoying... I'm just really nervous ...so just thought to share my worries with SC family again

So in someday soon I'll be visiting a psychiatrist for the first time.. I don't know what to expect

I got an email with the appointment details ..so just found out it's a male therapist...and I'm not comfortable with that...and I told this to my parents and they think I'm finding just an excuse to not to go there... I can't change because when my parents filled the form...and where you cross the gender preference for the therapist...they just didn't cross anything... 

So my therapist is Jew and he is a licensed or certified mental health professional who is specially trained in Hypnosis technique... what if he use hypnosis on me .. could this be possible ... I don't know what to do?

I Don't want to do any stupid exercises or any type of activity ...and I hope he doesn't ask me that much of my private life.... I don't know what will he ask or where are the limits...

Any advice..what to expect from the first ever appointment?

Wa alykum al salam

InshAllah all goes well sister. Stay calm and open minded. You shouldn't think about anything stressful because that will just bring you down. Stay strong.

[rkazmi33 1,203]

I didn't know Dr. Phil's show is a reality show. I genuinely thought he is a psychologist and the kind of advice he gives is the same kind of advice people get in therapy. 

[Laayla 4,856]

20 minutes ago, rkazmi33 said:

I didn't know Dr. Phil's show is a reality show. I genuinely thought he is a psychologist and the kind of advice he gives is the same kind of advice people get in therapy. 

Millions of dollars to be made.   His platform, unfortunately was used to make people popular, who don't deserve the attention.

[Ain-Al Hayat 365]

13 hours ago, Laayla said:

I'm also of the opinion of not taking these psychotic medication. 

Absolutely right... I won't take any of those medicines...what if I get addicted to them

12 hours ago, Sabrejet said:

They aren't against Islam or anything. Taking them is akin to taking vaccinations, or cancer treatment, or any other disease that requires medication. Saying that they are bad sound like something a Mormon or Evangelical would say.

I understand your point of view....In my case I don't think I need them..and if he prescribe me any I won't take it .... I don't want any kind of addictions... I hope someone understands my perspective 

[Ain-Al Hayat 365]

12 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

It will make his job harder and quite frankly, be a waste of an appointment. Your parents are obviously concerned for your well-being, some don't have parents like yours. Tell him everything, no matter difficult or uncomfortable it is for you.

I know ...he will have a hard time talking to me ... because I can imagine.. I will be just sitting there and staring at walls lol and perhaps saying..ahmm.mm.hmmm 

My parents are exaggerating ....if they can accept me like who I'm ...all these issues would have been solved...but they think I'm not behaving normal anymore ... I don't won't to sound rude but I think they need this therapy more than me

12 hours ago, Caroling said:

But you need to see a therapist. You’ve already hit a low point emotionally and it’s not going to get better until you seek professional help.

I think I need more space than a therapist....yes I'm stressed and depressive but that doesn't mean I have to go to a psychiatrist...and tell him all about my personal life...and then have a Tag on my head.."oh she goes to therapist.. maybe something wrong with her" .... don't want to hear that bull[Edited Out] afterwards

9 hours ago, starlight said:

Tell him you will like the minimum dose for the minimum duration possible.

What if he talks to my parents ..and they start convincing me to take medication:(

[Justsomeone 93]

@Ain-Al Hayat I am studying BBA and we have a subject called Organizational behaviour. it basically is about individual and group behaviours. One of the most important thing to know is that we don't have the ability to judge/see our own selves. we often tend to think more highly of ourselves and we tend to only believe what we like. That's why we often think we look and sound weird on videos. And that's also why self taken personality test are often wrong.in other words you can't rely or trust your own judgments about yourself

What I'm saying is that , even if you think you're okay, and you don't need therapy or medications, your opinion can be completely biased and wrong. There must be a reason why your parents think you need to visit a professional and if thhe more knowledgeable decides you need to take medicines, there must be a reason for that. and if you avoid that it might do more harm than good and you'll end up regretting it later. So make the right choice.

Edited January 26 by Justsomeone

[Gaius I. Caesar 8,709]

18 minutes ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

Absolutely right... I won't take any of those medicines...what if I get addicted to them

What if you need them to function? You shouldn't come to any conclusions about needing them or not until after the appointment. If he's a professional, he will prescribe the right medication.

[Ain-Al Hayat 365]

25 minutes ago, Justsomeone said:

What I'm saying is that , even if you think you're okay, and you don't need therapy or medications, your opinion can be completely biased and wrong. There must be a reason why your parents think you need to visit a professional and if thhe more knowledgeable decides you need to take medicines, there must be a reason for that. and if you avoid that it might do more harm than good and you'll end up regretting it later. So make the right choice.

Of course this could be a possibility.. I'm not denying that fact ... I'll go there but I'm not sure if I will continue for that therapy ... I'm just going there for the sake of my parents...so they won't think that I'm ignoring them

23 minutes ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

If he's a professional, he will prescribe the right medication.

I hope he is professional and I will make him clear that I won't any medication... let's see how he will react to my statement

[Justsomeone 93]

11 hours ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

Of course this could be a possibility.. I'm not denying that fact ... I'll go there but I'm not sure if I will continue for that therapy ... I'm just going there for the sake of my parents...so they won't think that I'm ignoring them

I'm sorry to say it this way but, that's the problem. You're trusting your judgment too much and you're only cooperating for your parents sake only. You should trust more of what they think and comply because they may be right and this might actually be a great opportunity to heal yourself. Since it's therapy, if you do this half-heartedly, you won't be able to take full advantage of it. So you have to believe in your parents and actually make an effort to heal yourself for yourself not just to please them.

[starlight 14,754]

44 minutes ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

What if he talks to my parents ..and they start convincing me to take medication:(

Why would he do that? 

[Zainuu 1,382]

@Ain-Al Hayat Visit that psychatrist. Okay?

Let me ask you a few questions. What did you think before doing this appointment?

Are your parents forcing you to stick with the treatment of this psychatrist?

Please let me remind you. Now you have all the advices and suggestions from brothers and sisters over here.

Sit in a place and think rationally. And see what suits best to your situation. 

I would advice that put your phone away.

In my view, meet the psychatrist and then see what happens next.

Trust Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) sister.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you and help you.

[Ain-Al Hayat 365]

29 minutes ago, starlight said:

Why would he do that? 

I don't know... maybe because he knows my father's friend .... Somehow I'm nervous to be open with him

31 minutes ago, Justsomeone said:

Since it's therapy, if you do this half-heartedly, you won't be able to take full advantage of it. So you have to believe in your parents and actually make an effort to heal yourself for yourself not just to please them.

Maybe I'll change my mind after the appointment ....but somehow I'm not convinced that I need a therapist ... I'm not doing good but why immediately go to a professional...it that something good to do

30 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

Are your parents forcing you to stick with the treatment of this psychatrist?

Yes but indirectly.... like how they always emotionally blackmail

31 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

Please let me remind you. Now you have all the advices and suggestions from brothers and sisters over here.

And I'm really thankful for that... thanks for everyone's contribution

32 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

Sit in a place and think rationally. And see what suits best to your situation. 

I would advice that put your phone away.

In my view, meet the psychatrist and then see what happens next.

I have done that ...but I don't come to any clear conclusion... I'll definitely take break from my phone 

I'll go to this jew male Psychiatrists...even if I'm not comfortable with that at first sight...but I have no other options right now

I just feel crying right now

[Justsomeone 93]

11 hours ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

Maybe I'll change my mind after the appointment ....but somehow I'm not convinced that I need a therapist ... I'm not doing good but why immediately go to a professional...it that something good to do

Alright, but whatever you choose, choose rationally and choose what's best.

[starlight 14,754]

35 minutes ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

don't know... maybe because he knows my father's friend .... Somehow I'm nervous to be open with him

It doesn't work this way. Doctors don't prescribe medications on family or friends recommendations. 

[Zainuu 1,382]

1 hour ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

I'll go to this jew male Psychiatrists...even if I'm not comfortable with that at first sight...but I have no other options right now

I just feel crying right now

Sister don't cry.

Tell me why you don't want to visit him? Reasons?

Okay. So, your parents are doing emotional blackmail?

That would be settled. Go to that psychatrist just once. You will achieve many objectives:

1. You will know who he is and how helpful he will prove.

2. You will obey your parents so they will be happy. 

3. You will then gain more confidence about what to do next.

Rest of the talks after this first visit.

Inshallah all will be good.

[Mahdavist 3,807]

In some ways its probably not so bad that he is from a jewish background. He will probably be able to relate to you in more ways than others would. Be thankful you don't have a judgmental feminist type who thinks she's rescuing you.

Be open, otherwise you're just making it more difficult for yourself and the therapist. Give it a chance and try to use it to your advantage. 

Obviously he won't speak to anyone about your sessions, any professional knows you can't do that.

[Caroling 66]

On 1/26/2021 at 6:17 AM, Ain-Al Hayat said:

I think I need more space than a therapist....yes I'm stressed and depressive but that doesn't mean I have to go to a psychiatrist...and tell him all about my personal life...and then

That’s exactly what it means. 

People get depressed not only because of their environment, but because they can’t regulate their emotions effectively. This isn’t going to go away magically by moving-out. When your depression has gotten so bad that you end up dropping out of college, that is a major warning sign. It’s a good thing your parents are telling you to go to a psychiatrist/therapist now. In my opinion, they should have made you go sooner, before you dropped-out. 

If you want, after a few sessions, you can suggest going to family therapy together. I’m sure they have likely unknowingly contributed (unintentionally of course) the mess that you’re in.  

[Ain-Al Hayat 365]

2 hours ago, Caroling said:

If you want, after a few sessions, you can suggest going to family therapy together. I’m sure they have likely unknowingly contributed (unintentionally of course) the mess that you’re in.  

We have tried that out like 10 years ago or maybe more when my dad's behaviour was really bad I mean he had some anger issues .... I remember Psychologist asking me some really disgusting questions so I was back then really traumatized by that so since then I don't like going there anymore ....my dad's behaviour is much better now thankfully...but that family session was horrific

[Laayla 4,856]

Bismehe Ta3ala 

Assalam Alikum dear sister @Ain-Al Hayat

I don't blame you at all for feeling this way.

I wholeheartedly believe Islam has the answer for every family, social, personal problems.  The problem is us Muslims, do not practice the recommendations, prohibitions, and obligations Allah and His Messenger prescribed to us.

This also reminds me of the faithful visitors who go for ziyarat to our Imams, with my two eyes, I witnessed how the faithful would speak to their Imams like they are seeing them face to face.  They told them their family problems, they asked for their hajjat, they pleaded and they cried.  

I have met many people in my life who experienced many difficulties and their solution was to develop a close relationship with Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) by salat, dua, dhikr, recitation of Quran, the munajat of Amir al mo2mneen and Imam Zein al 3bdeen.

For example, today we have dua tawasoul.  Perform wudthu, facing the qibla and recite this dua.  Maybe the first time you won't feel anything, and you don't feel like it, but perseverance is key and your heart needs to be conscious of what you are doing.

Please sister watch this video when you have the opportunity.  I promise you, no regrets.  Hajj Khalil is a God fearing momin, and his lectures never disappoint, Mash'Allah.  Give him a try dear sister.

 

 

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

Edited January 26 by Laayla

[Zainuu 1,382]

5 hours ago, Laayla said:

have met many people in my life who experienced many difficulties and their solution was to develop a close relationship with Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) by salat, dua, dhikr, recitation of Quran, the munajat of Amir al mo2mneen and Imam Zein al 3bdeen.

For example, today we have dua tawasoul.  Perform wudthu, facing the qibla and recite this dua.  Maybe the first time you won't feel anything, and you don't feel like it, but perseverance is key and your heart needs to be conscious of what you are doing

Salaam sister,

Absolutely!!!

If we practice supplications. If we pray salat on time. It literally cures anxiety.

I always suggest this solution but it depends on the person to whom we advice that can he/she follow it?

I strongly recommend Dua e Mashlool or Munajaat e Amir al Mo'mineen. 

A short solution can be Tasbeeh Arba:

Subhanallahe Walhumdulillahe Wa La Ilaha Illallahu Allahu Akber

This Tasbeeh if recited with focus, reduces the heaviness in the heart that every distressed person does experience.

Sahifa Sajjadiya is filled with Duas that are beautiful. And what I understand is that the basic purpose is to cure anxiety itself.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you

Wassalaam

[Ain-Al Hayat 365]

Thank you so much Sister @Laayla for recommending me this lecture I'll definitely listen to it

I'll go tomorrow to my appointment... let's see how it goes

[Ali bin Hussein 967]

On 1/25/2021 at 6:36 PM, Ain-Al Hayat said:

Salaam everyone

I hope I'm not that annoying... I'm just really nervous ...so just thought to share my worries with SC family again

So in someday soon I'll be visiting a psychiatrist for the first time.. I don't know what to expect

I got an email with the appointment details ..so just found out it's a male therapist...and I'm not comfortable with that...and I told this to my parents and they think I'm finding just an excuse to not to go there... I can't change because when my parents filled the form...and where you cross the gender preference for the therapist...they just didn't cross anything... 

So my therapist is Jew and he is a licensed or certified mental health professional who is specially trained in Hypnosis technique... what if he use hypnosis on me .. could this be possible ... I don't know what to do?

I Don't want to do any stupid exercises or any type of activity ...and I hope he doesn't ask me that much of my private life.... I don't know what will he ask or where are the limits...

Any advice..what to expect from the first ever appointment?

Cancel the appointment and reapply with your gender prefferance. Unless time is if the upmost importance and it's an emergency better to find a female.

[Laayla 4,856]

22 hours ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

Thank you so much Sister @Laayla for recommending me this lecture I'll definitely listen to it

I'll go tomorrow to my appointment... let's see how it goes

Bismehe Ta3ala 

Assalam Alikum dear sister 

How are you?

How was your experience?  

Please don't forget to watch Hajj Khalil Jaffer.  

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

[Ain-Al Hayat 365]

22 hours ago, Ali bin Hussein said:

Cancel the appointment and reapply with your gender prefferance. Unless time is if the upmost importance and it's an emergency better to find a female.

It's too late now.. I have already been there ...

7 hours ago, Laayla said:

Assalam Alikum dear sister 

How are you?

How was your experience?  

Please don't forget to watch Hajj Khalil Jaffer.  

Waslam sister

If anyone doesn't mind I'll share my thoughts about this sensitive matter further on sisters only club

And any moderator if someone is reading can please close/ lock this thread ... because now I don't want to discuss on this topic further with everyone ...of course if it's possible:)

Thanks everyone for your contribution and I appreciated every advice of yours 

Wasalam