Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

suicide

Rate this topic


Recommended Posts

Guest A simple guest

Asalaamu alaykum Sister Sara, I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and sending duas your way. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) keep you safe always. Take care of your precious self <3

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 84
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Please dont think of suicide; at least for the sake of your innocent child. Do you want to deprive him of having a mother? Do you know how much he/she needs you and your love?! There are ups and

May Allah help alleviate your situation. I think you might already know this, but life after suicide will be infinitely worse than this temporary life.

Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) says in the Holy Quran 'No soul will be burdened with more than it can bear'. So if you were given these trials in life, it means that your soul has the ability to bear

Guest sara
5 hours ago, Guest A simple guest said:

Asalaamu alaykum Sister Sara, I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and sending duas your way. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) keep you safe always. Take care of your precious self <3

Wsalam,

Thank you very much to keep me in your mind and sending your precious duas for me, it means a lot to me and it made me very happy

May Allah Pak bless you with all the happiness of life in this world and world hereafter

take care too

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On 24/01/2021 at 9:59 AM, Guest sara said:

In islam suicide is totally forbidden and haram, but when a person becomes tired and hopeless what option is left? 

My mother passed away in my childhood, got a step mom who made my life a hell, my father never gave love to me, I got married in search for happiness but he turned out to be the most selfish person in my life, Allah blessed me with a severe disabled child and thats why my husband left me too. 

Struggling day and night with the struggles of life, being lonely, being sick, and getting older dont see any way out now, prayers and duas all seem to be unanswered, is it better to end this misery or continue living every moment in this pain till i die alone?

Youve had a tough life, but will probably have a better hereafter than most of us here as a result of it. Suicide will take that away. Hang in there, think about seeing a therapist too. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest crohnsruinedmylife

In my personal opinion, if someone is suffering greatly due to disease and medicine/prayer is not helping.. then I certainly would want the option to end my suffering with dignity and on my own terms. Sometimes life can be unbearable and quality of life can be so low that life is no longer worth living. I would only advocate this if there is no way out.

Although mental issues deriving from social issues can be just as debilitating, there is always a way out with support of friends, family and government institutions; the ability to 'turn your life around' exists and there are far less factors out of your control preventing you from doing this. In the case of say disease, no amount of positive thinking is going to cure you so you are 'stuck'. I would much rather be in the second camp than the first.

Treasure your life, especially if your condition is 'fixable' albeit with great amounts of effort...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators
On 2/8/2021 at 8:00 PM, Guest crohnsruinedmylife said:

if someone is suffering greatly due to disease and medicine/prayer is not helping.. then I certainly would want the option to end my suffering

You can't take something you don't own. 

On 2/8/2021 at 8:00 PM, Guest crohnsruinedmylife said:

Sometimes life can be unbearable and quality of life can be so low that life is no longer worth living.

More unbearable than it was for Nabi Ayub? More difficult than being in solitary confinement for more than a decade, in a cell so small that you can't stand up straight and so dark that you can't tell night from day?? 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest crohnsruinedmylife
On 2/8/2021 at 8:24 PM, starlight said:

You can't take something you don't own. 

 

More unbearable than it was for Nabi Ayub? More difficult than being in solitary confinement for more than a decade, in a cell so small that you can't stand up straight and so dark that you can't tell night from day?? 

From a religious point of view, suicide is never acceptable and it would be offensive to God to try and prematurely end your life before your appointed time.

From a practical point of view.. some people endure so much suffering with no end in sight that they will do anything to end it and unfortunately this is when they turn to suicide; religion may provide spiritual comfort, but it does almost nothing in the way of reducing physical pain. These people experience both a horrible existence in this life and Hell in the afterlife..

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators
1 hour ago, Guest crohnsruinedmylife said:

These people experience both a horrible existence in this life and Hell in the afterlife..

The ones who commit suicide because of physical hardships and ailments? 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On 2/2/2021 at 9:08 AM, Guest sara said:

Wsalam sister,

yes i watched the video of Hajj Khalil jafar,

i will try to join shia chat

 

best regards

Salaam sister Sara,

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) have mercy on you. My prayers are with you.

Do keep responding to us. And share what you want to. We all are with you. We are your family. 

I literally don't know what to say. But you are atleast an inspiration for me. You are strong more than what you think.

Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) never burdens a soul more than what it cannot control. So, dear sister you are strong and if you need anything. If you want to ask anything. We are here. 

And you are always in our prayers.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) strengthen you. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) make you firm and patient. Definitely the heart of a believer is stronger than mountains. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) be your aide and your support. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) be your companion. Feel the nearness of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), who is hearing you and listening you.

By the intercession of Imam Mazloom, Imam al Husayn (عليه السلام), who digged the grave of his six months child by his own hands. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) help you by there intercession.

I will pray for you sister. Definitely.

Do watch this video from Br. Khalil Jaffer. It is extremely wonderful and motivating.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest sara
6 hours ago, Zainuu said:

Salaam sister Sara,

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) have mercy on you. My prayers are with you.

Do keep responding to us. And share what you want to. We all are with you. We are your family. 

I literally don't know what to say. But you are atleast an inspiration for me. You are strong more than what you think.

Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) never burdens a soul more than what it cannot control. So, dear sister you are strong and if you need anything. If you want to ask anything. We are here. 

And you are always in our prayers.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) strengthen you. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) make you firm and patient. Definitely the heart of a believer is stronger than mountains. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) be your aide and your support. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) be your companion. Feel the nearness of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), who is hearing you and listening you.

By the intercession of Imam Mazloom, Imam al Husayn (عليه السلام), who digged the grave of his six months child by his own hands. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) help you by there intercession.

I will pray for you sister. Definitely.

Do watch this video from Br. Khalil Jaffer. It is extremely wonderful and motivating.

 

Wsalam,

Thanks a lot for all your prayers and kind words, May Allah Pak reward you and all those who keep me in mind and pray for me.

Still quite sick so battling everyday with the hardships. Sometimes the kind words and the religious references work, sometimes it becomes too hard to go through a simple day. Many recommended therapy , i have been into therapy for few years but it didnt help at all.

so trying my best to be patient. These suicidal thoughts came across my mind many times in my life, the only thing that kept preventing me from doing it was  my religion, but if i was a non muslim im sure i would have done it. Its really hard to explain what goes through a person' mind when these thoughts come across. 

Nobody just wakes up in the morning and want to end his or her life, its  always been a long painfull journey before to reach there, or better say the weaklings in the society are mentally tortured so much that they only want to end their suffering, its becomes unbearable.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

I am praying for you Sara.  I know this is scary and hopeless.  I know when I am in desperate situations, God has always been there for me.  He promises to never leave us or forsake us.  May he meet with you in dreams and visions and give you comfort, if you will seek him with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength.  May you come to know his joy. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
4 hours ago, Guest sara said:

so trying my best to be patient. These suicidal thoughts came across my mind many times in my life, the only thing that kept preventing me from doing it was  my religion, but if i was a non muslim im sure i would have done it. Its really hard to explain what goes through a person' mind when these thoughts come across. 

I understand sister. And this is the reason you are really really strong. 

Imam Muhammad Al Baaqir (عليه السلام) said:

Our Shi`aa are of three types: one type dupe people in our name, one type are like glass which discloses everything that is inside it [that they, like glass, cannot keep hidden that which is placed in their trust, like secrets (ed.)], and one type are like red gold, which the more it is brandished in the fire, the purer it becomes.

Bihar al-Anwar, v. 78, p. 186, no. 24; Mizan ul Hikmah, page No. 845

Look sister. You have to be in the third category. Don't know how much pain you endure. Don't know how much suffering you have seen. But I certainly know that the true Shias will always have tough times.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you, protect you and grant you patience. 

There is support for you and I know that certainly your situation annoys you. Sometimes when a human being gets tired, these bad thoughts become troublesome. 

But always keep a message deep down inside your heart that "Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is the only hope, the only trust, the one who hears, the one who sees and he will reward you for all what you see."

Know that every step of you within this state of affliction in the remembrance of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is a Jihad. Each and every step.

I recommend you to read Duas of Sahifa al Sajjadiya. Not only the words of each Dua in this Sahifa is consolung and helping but even the Imam (عليه السلام) who wrote those duas is himself someone whose life was full of afflictions. How he was captured and how he was imprisoned. What he saw and what he felt. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators
On 1/23/2021 at 11:29 PM, Guest sara said:

In islam suicide is totally forbidden and haram, but when a person becomes tired and hopeless what option is left? 

My mother passed away in my childhood, got a step mom who made my life a hell, my father never gave love to me, I got married in search for happiness but he turned out to be the most selfish person in my life, Allah blessed me with a severe disabled child and thats why my husband left me too. 

Struggling day and night with the struggles of life, being lonely, being sick, and getting older dont see any way out now, prayers and duas all seem to be unanswered, is it better to end this misery or continue living every moment in this pain till i die alone?

Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) says in the Holy Quran 'No soul will be burdened with more than it can bear'. So if you were given these trials in life, it means that your soul has the ability to bear and pass these tests. You are focused now only on these things that you view as failures, so things seems hopeless. If you expand your vision outside of this, you will see that you were actually given alot, more than most people.

First, you were given a child. Ok, the child is disabled but children are a blessing from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), no matter what their physical condition. Also, children are both a blessing and a trial whether they are disabled or not. Ask some parents here who have children that are healthy, but their children became fasiq(openly do haram) even though they raised them in a healthy environment that was free of haram. I'm telling you that is a great test, maybe even a greater test than you are going thru right now. 

If you ask most people about their childhood experiences, they will recount difficulties they had. My mother and father divorced when I was 5 years old, and my father left soon after that, I only saw him maybe a few times a year. Because my father refused to support the family financially, my mother had to work all the time, so basically me and my brother and sister raised ourselves, and we got into a lot of trouble when we were younger as a result of this. As a young boy, I had to live with the fact that my own father didn't want me around. I used to think it would have been easier if my father had died, then at least I could tell the other kids that my father was dead, so this was the reason he didn't go to my games, didn't show up at my life events, like all the other kids dads did. I also couldn't say that my dad was in the military, away working, etc. I had to live with the fact that my dad had the ability to see me, but he didn't want to. That was difficult to deal with. But I had other people in my life, like my grandfather, who helped me alot and taught me, and kind of took the place of my father in this way. So if anyone looks at their childhood they will find negative and positive. Try to focus on the positive rather than the negative.

Instead of focusing on the fact that you are sick, focus on the fact that you are still alive. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has kept you alive on the earth so that you will pass the tests he gave you, InShahAllah, and this will give Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) an excuse to reward you with Paradise. The ones who go thru severe trials and pass are more deserving of Paradise than the ones who go thru less severe trials, although noone deserves Paradise because of their actions. If you look at your prayers, you will find that some were answered and some were not. The ones that were not were the ones that were not good for you, i.e they would take you away from the goal, which is Paradise. 

Also, you still have the greatest gift that is given to human beings, which is Iman, i.e. faith in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). So try to hold onto that gift. 

Suicide is haram because it is kufar, disbelief in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). If you commit suicide you are disbelieving in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) when He(s.w.a) said 'No soul will be burdened with more than it can bear' and 'Don't give up on the soothing mercy of Allah', and many other ayats which tell you that there are trials but there are also an end to those trials and mercy from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and hapiness and satisfaction are just, as they say in the US , 'just around the corner' if you just hang on for a few more days. Suicide is saying to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), ' I know you said all those things but I don't believe you (astaghfirAllah)'. So this is kufar, disbelief, and also ungratefulness for the blessings which Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) did give you. 

If you are having an urgent issue with this, please reach out to your family, friends, local community, masjid, etc. They are the ones Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) gave you to help you. In case none of these are options for you, reach out to one of the mods, send us a pm and we will try to help in whatever way we can. Salam. 

Edited by Abu Hadi
Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest sara
18 hours ago, Marcy said:

I am praying for you Sara.  I know this is scary and hopeless.  I know when I am in desperate situations, God has always been there for me.  He promises to never leave us or forsake us.  May he meet with you in dreams and visions and give you comfort, if you will seek him with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength.  May you come to know his joy. 

Thank you for your prayers

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest sara
6 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) says in the Holy Quran 'No soul will be burdened with more than it can bear'. So if you were given these trials in life, it means that your soul has the ability to bear and pass these tests. You are focused now only on these things that you view as failures, so things seems hopeless. If you expand your vision outside of this, you will see that you were actually given alot, more than most people.

First, you were given a child. Ok, the child is disabled but children are a blessing from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), no matter what their physical condition. Also, children are both a blessing and a trial whether they are disabled or not. Ask some parents here who have children that are healthy, but their children became fasiq(openly do haram) even though they raised them in a healthy environment that was free of haram. I'm telling you that is a great test, maybe even a greater test than you are going thru right now. 

If you ask most people about their childhood experiences, they will recount difficulties they had. My mother and father divorced when I was 5 years old, and my father left soon after that, I only saw him maybe a few times a year. Because my father refused to support the family financially, my mother had to work all the time, so basically me and my brother and sister raised ourselves, and we got into a lot of trouble when we were younger as a result of this. As a young boy, I had to live with the fact that my own father didn't want me around. I used to think it would have been easier if my father had died, then at least I could tell the other kids that my father was dead, so this was the reason he didn't go to my games, didn't show up at my life events, like all the other kids dads did. I also couldn't say that my dad was in the military, away working, etc. I had to live with the fact that my dad had the ability to see me, but he didn't want to. That was difficult to deal with. But I had other people in my life, like my grandfather, who helped me alot and taught me, and kind of took the place of my father in this way. So if anyone looks at their childhood they will find negative and positive. Try to focus on the positive rather than the negative.

Instead of focusing on the fact that you are sick, focus on the fact that you are still alive. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has kept you alive on the earth so that you will pass the tests he gave you, InShahAllah, and this will give Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) an excuse to reward you with Paradise. The ones who go thru severe trials and pass are more deserving of Paradise than the ones who go thru less severe trials, although noone deserves Paradise because of their actions. If you look at your prayers, you will find that some were answered and some were not. The ones that were not were the ones that were not good for you, i.e they would take you away from the goal, which is Paradise. 

Also, you still have the greatest gift that is given to human beings, which is Iman, i.e. faith in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). So try to hold onto that gift. 

Suicide is haram because it is kufar, disbelief in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). If you commit suicide you are disbelieving in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) when He(s.w.a) said 'No soul will be burdened with more than it can bear' and 'Don't give up on the soothing mercy of Allah', and many other ayats which tell you that there are trials but there are also an end to those trials and mercy from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and hapiness and satisfaction are just, as they say in the US , 'just around the corner' if you just hang on for a few more days. Suicide is saying to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), ' I know you said all those things but I don't believe you (astaghfirAllah)'. So this is kufar, disbelief, and also ungratefulness for the blessings which Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) did give you. 

If you are having an urgent issue with this, please reach out to your family, friends, local community, masjid, etc. They are the ones Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) gave you to help you. In case none of these are options for you, reach out to one of the mods, send us a pm and we will try to help in whatever way we can. Salam. 

Salam,

sorry to hear about your father, was quite saddend to read all the difficulties you went through due to your father.  

Thank you for all your support , religious references and prayers,means a lot. 

Im not in touch of my family neither have friends etc, so surely if things do get worse will reach out to one of the mods,thanks again for all the support from you and all other members, May Allah Pak reward you all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
10 minutes ago, Guest sara said:

Salam,

sorry to hear about your father, was quite saddend to read all the difficulties you went through due to your father.  

Thank you for all your support , religious references and prayers,means a lot. 

Im not in touch of my family neither have friends etc, so surely if things do get worse will reach out to one of the mods,thanks again for all the support from you and all other members, May Allah Pak reward you all.

Salam,

Dear sister Sara, We are praying for you. Please post regularly here, this way we can be updated about your situation. I hope God makes things easy for you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
7 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) says in the Holy Quran 'No soul will be burdened with more than it can bear'. So if you were given these trials in life, it means that your soul has the ability to bear and pass these tests. You are focused now only on these things that you view as failures, so things seems hopeless. If you expand your vision outside of this, you will see that you were actually given alot, more than most people.

First, you were given a child. Ok, the child is disabled but children are a blessing from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), no matter what their physical condition. Also, children are both a blessing and a trial whether they are disabled or not. Ask some parents here who have children that are healthy, but their children became fasiq(openly do haram) even though they raised them in a healthy environment that was free of haram. I'm telling you that is a great test, maybe even a greater test than you are going thru right now. 

If you ask most people about their childhood experiences, they will recount difficulties they had. My mother and father divorced when I was 5 years old, and my father left soon after that, I only saw him maybe a few times a year. Because my father refused to support the family financially, my mother had to work all the time, so basically me and my brother and sister raised ourselves, and we got into a lot of trouble when we were younger as a result of this. As a young boy, I had to live with the fact that my own father didn't want me around. I used to think it would have been easier if my father had died, then at least I could tell the other kids that my father was dead, so this was the reason he didn't go to my games, didn't show up at my life events, like all the other kids dads did. I also couldn't say that my dad was in the military, away working, etc. I had to live with the fact that my dad had the ability to see me, but he didn't want to. That was difficult to deal with. But I had other people in my life, like my grandfather, who helped me alot and taught me, and kind of took the place of my father in this way. So if anyone looks at their childhood they will find negative and positive. Try to focus on the positive rather than the negative.

Instead of focusing on the fact that you are sick, focus on the fact that you are still alive. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has kept you alive on the earth so that you will pass the tests he gave you, InShahAllah, and this will give Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) an excuse to reward you with Paradise. The ones who go thru severe trials and pass are more deserving of Paradise than the ones who go thru less severe trials, although noone deserves Paradise because of their actions. If you look at your prayers, you will find that some were answered and some were not. The ones that were not were the ones that were not good for you, i.e they would take you away from the goal, which is Paradise. 

Also, you still have the greatest gift that is given to human beings, which is Iman, i.e. faith in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). So try to hold onto that gift. 

Suicide is haram because it is kufar, disbelief in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). If you commit suicide you are disbelieving in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) when He(s.w.a) said 'No soul will be burdened with more than it can bear' and 'Don't give up on the soothing mercy of Allah', and many other ayats which tell you that there are trials but there are also an end to those trials and mercy from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and hapiness and satisfaction are just, as they say in the US , 'just around the corner' if you just hang on for a few more days. Suicide is saying to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), ' I know you said all those things but I don't believe you (astaghfirAllah)'. So this is kufar, disbelief, and also ungratefulness for the blessings which Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) did give you. 

If you are having an urgent issue with this, please reach out to your family, friends, local community, masjid, etc. They are the ones Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) gave you to help you. In case none of these are options for you, reach out to one of the mods, send us a pm and we will try to help in whatever way we can. Salam. 

Salaam brother Abu Hadi,

Sad to hear about your story.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you with happiness and prosperity and success in this world and the hereafter.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest sara
17 hours ago, Zainuu said:

I understand sister. And this is the reason you are really really strong. 

Imam Muhammad Al Baaqir (عليه السلام) said:

Our Shi`aa are of three types: one type dupe people in our name, one type are like glass which discloses everything that is inside it [that they, like glass, cannot keep hidden that which is placed in their trust, like secrets (ed.)], and one type are like red gold, which the more it is brandished in the fire, the purer it becomes.

Bihar al-Anwar, v. 78, p. 186, no. 24; Mizan ul Hikmah, page No. 845

Look sister. You have to be in the third category. Don't know how much pain you endure. Don't know how much suffering you have seen. But I certainly know that the true Shias will always have tough times.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you, protect you and grant you patience. 

There is support for you and I know that certainly your situation annoys you. Sometimes when a human being gets tired, these bad thoughts become troublesome. 

But always keep a message deep down inside your heart that "Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is the only hope, the only trust, the one who hears, the one who sees and he will reward you for all what you see."

Know that every step of you within this state of affliction in the remembrance of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is a Jihad. Each and every step.

I recommend you to read Duas of Sahifa al Sajjadiya. Not only the words of each Dua in this Sahifa is consolung and helping but even the Imam (عليه السلام) who wrote those duas is himself someone whose life was full of afflictions. How he was captured and how he was imprisoned. What he saw and what he felt. 

Thank you brother for your kind words, support and advices

May Allah Pak bless you

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Fluffy Rabbit
On 1/24/2021 at 9:29 AM, Guest sara said:

In islam suicide is totally forbidden and haram, but when a person becomes tired and hopeless what option is left? 

My mother passed away in my childhood, got a step mom who made my life a hell, my father never gave love to me, I got married in search for happiness but he turned out to be the most selfish person in my life, Allah blessed me with a severe disabled child and thats why my husband left me too. 

Struggling day and night with the struggles of life, being lonely, being sick, and getting older dont see any way out now, prayers and duas all seem to be unanswered, is it better to end this misery or continue living every moment in this pain till i die alone?

sara everyone in this life has his or her problems. no one is here without having seen troubles in their lives. we all have our ups and downs but you should know that those who are most loved and tested to extreme limits are meant to create an inspiration by Allah (S). but for the troubles what you have witnessed you have gained many things which you ignored. your mother passed away leaving you alone so those who are orphans are nearest to Allah (S). Secondly, your step-mother and father did not gave you your rights, so their goodness are included in your accounts and your sins are included into their accounts. your husband left you so his goodness are in your accounts and your sins are in his accounts. you have disabled children help them and be a brave mother, this will multiply your status before Allah (S). 

If you commit any wrong actions then all of your goodness would be worth nothing and the world would be deprived of an example to take inspiration from in adversities. this life is your day of acts, and you have to await for your result on judgement day. I would say that do not speak more of those who were unjust to you except  up to the extent of their injustice because talking too much may lead to say something which they do not have and they get your virtues and you get their sins. just leave them and move ahead keep faith in Allah (S). miracles happens at the extreme of trials. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member
On 2/10/2021 at 8:44 PM, Guest sara said:

Salam,

sorry to hear about your father, was quite saddend to read all the difficulties you went through due to your father.  

Thank you for all your support , religious references and prayers,means a lot. 

Im not in touch of my family neither have friends etc, so surely if things do get worse will reach out to one of the mods,thanks again for all the support from you and all other members, May Allah Pak reward you all.

Bismehe Ta3ala 

 

Assalam Alikum sister 

I hope you are well and in good health.

How is your son?  Who updates you about his progress?

Why don't you reach out to your family sister?

I hope you consider signing up on ShiaChat.  Your story has brought so many responses and as you can see many of the members care for your well-being.  

God bless you dear sister.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest sara
2 hours ago, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala 

 

Assalam Alikum sister 

I hope you are well and in good health.

How is your son?  Who updates you about his progress?

Why don't you reach out to your family sister?

I hope you consider signing up on ShiaChat.  Your story has brought so many responses and as you can see many of the members care for your well-being.  

God bless you dear sister.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

Wsalam sister

im ok , still quite sick. My son is doing fine, he lives in a care centre so his mentor updates me about his progress.

And about reaching out to my family, well i described earlier that my mom passed away in my childhood and my step mom obv dont care about me, my father  is also not bothered about me neither my siblings,

i have  tried many times to tell them what im going through, but they have an westernized approach and told me its your life, if you want to end it go ahead, so they are are not concerned about either i live or die, once i reached out my step mom as i was too sick and she said bluntly to me that if its in your destiny that you will die alone, we cant do anything about it.

so family is a big no, and about the people who replied to me advised me supported me here, was really something i never expected, so im very grateful to each and every person and pray that Allah eases their all difficulties.

regards

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member
On 2/12/2021 at 1:21 AM, Guest sara said:

Wsalam sister

im ok , still quite sick. My son is doing fine, he lives in a care centre so his mentor updates me about his progress.

And about reaching out to my family, well i described earlier that my mom passed away in my childhood and my step mom obv dont care about me, my father  is also not bothered about me neither my siblings,

i have  tried many times to tell them what im going through, but they have an westernized approach and told me its your life, if you want to end it go ahead, so they are are not concerned about either i live or die, once i reached out my step mom as i was too sick and she said bluntly to me that if its in your destiny that you will die alone, we cant do anything about it.

so family is a big no, and about the people who replied to me advised me supported me here, was really something i never expected, so im very grateful to each and every person and pray that Allah eases their all difficulties.

regards

Bismehe Ta3ala 

Assalam Alikum 

Sister, wishing you a blessed month of Rajab.

Are you able to read the duas in Urdu, English or Arabic?

You don't need to ask your family for anything, just say your salams once in awhile so you don't cut ties.

I hope you are doing better dear sister.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member

Salamualaikum Sister Sara,

I have no idea who you are, but we hear your situation.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) grant you the "Light of Sabr" in your souls (the power to be patience and endure trials from the worldly situations). With that power you will be peaceful in yourself with so much hope in Allah's (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) Mercy and will take away the thought of suicide.

With your Permission,  Ya Allah,

and with the blessings from the Shafaat of Rasulullah,

please help her..

Layman

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest sara
12 hours ago, layman said:

Salamualaikum Sister Sara,

I have no idea who you are, but we hear your situation.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) grant you the "Light of Sabr" in your souls (the power to be patience and endure trials from the worldly situations). With that power you will be peaceful in yourself with so much hope in Allah's (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) Mercy and will take away the thought of suicide.

With your Permission,  Ya Allah,

and with the blessings from the Shafaat of Rasulullah,

please help her..

Layman

Wsalam 

Thank you for your prayers

regards

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest sara
19 hours ago, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala 

Assalam Alikum 

Sister, wishing you a blessed month of Rajab.

Are you able to read the duas in Urdu, English or Arabic?

You don't need to ask your family for anything, just say your salams once in awhile so you don't cut ties.

I hope you are doing better dear sister.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

Wsalam sister,

Thank you for your wishes, i can read duas in all above mentioned languages,

regards

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/10/2021 at 3:45 AM, Abu Hadi said:

r a few more days. Suicide is saying to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), ' I know you said all those things but I don't believe you (astaghfirAllah)'. So this is kufar, disbelief, and also ungratefulness for the blessings which Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) did give you. 

When someone is suicidal, they don’t think like that. They think, “I just want to end my pain”. People who commit suicide don’t want to kill themselves—they want their pain to end. I doubt you’ve ever been seriously suicidal because of what you’ve just said. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest sara
1 hour ago, Caroling said:

When someone is suicidal, they don’t think like that. They think, “I just want to end my pain”. People who commit suicide don’t want to kill themselves—they want their pain to end. I doubt you’ve ever been seriously suicidal because of what you’ve just said. 

this was said and described by a brother and not by me,if you read in detail you will understand it

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators
1 hour ago, Caroling said:

When someone is suicidal, they don’t think like that. They think, “I just want to end my pain”. People who commit suicide don’t want to kill themselves—they want their pain to end. I doubt you’ve ever been seriously suicidal because of what you’ve just said. 

When you use that kind of logic, you're going down a slippery slope. In Islam, there is one standard for everyone, that is behavior. No haram act is a sin until you actually do it. This is so people would consider the implications of their actions before they do them. If I say, 'well I'm not thinking that way' so I am excused for doing the act because of my thinking, then anyone could be excused for anything, and then there is no such as thing as reward and punishment. Reward and punishment are only just when there is a common standard by which everyone is rewarded or punished, and this standard is known to everyone. Like I said above, this standard is action. The extent of the reward or punishment varies, and this depends on many factors, but reward or punishment are still the realities that result from actions. 

Whether I have personally been suicidal or not is not relevant to my point. Pain is a relative thing and is very difficult to quantify. The vast majority of people who live very painful lives, such as war captives, severely handicapped, etc, do not commit suicide. So even being in a large amount of pain is not a viable excuse before Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) for the act. Pain ends at some point, regardless of the persons actions, but to assume that committing suicide will end the pain is a big, big assumption, based on what has been taught to us by our Imams((عليه السلام)) and Prophet(صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم). 

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Abu Hadi said:

Whether I have personally been suicidal or not is not relevant to my point. Pain is a relative thing and is very difficult to quantify. The vast majority of people who live very painful lives, such as war captives, severely handicapped, etc, do not commit suicide. So even being in a large amount of pain is not a viable excuse before Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) for the act.

Before you get defensive and start talking about faith and religion, know that my response was supposed to shed light on the psychology of suicidal people and provide empathy, not an excuse, as you put it. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators
1 minute ago, Caroling said:

Before you get defensive and start talking about faith and religion, know that my response was supposed to shed light on the psychology of suicidal people and provide empathy, not an excuse, as you put it. 

This is a religious website, so I'm assuming the sister is looking for religious advice. Otherwise, there are plenty of other secular sources she could have gone to. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
41 minutes ago, Abu Hadi said:

This is a religious website, so I'm assuming the sister is looking for religious advice. Otherwise, there are plenty of other secular sources she could have gone to. 

The religion doesn’t talk about depression. It talks about general despair and hopelessness, not mental illness. Saying things like, “the religion says you’re ungrateful, you don’t care about God” to suicidal people only hurts them. Mental illness, such as suicide and emotional vulnerability to the extent that the OP is, can make it tough and religious advice isn’t appropriate—it sounds like you are shaming the OP. You can talk about the religion without being insensitive or lacking in empathy. 

When talking about depression and suicide, you should tread lightly, because insensitive responses like this may turn people from the religion, when they already feel vulnerable. Not to mention that it’s untrue that they are ungrateful and all the other things you said. Having suicidal thoughts is an illness, not because someone is ungrateful. 

Edited by Caroling
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

It is all mindset. With the right mindset you can make it through hard times and come out even stronger. However if you tend to always focus on negativity obviously you will drain yourself from all the energy. Im not saying this to belittle anyone's pain. Just find something to be grateful even during the hardest times. The fact that you have access to internet probably indicates that you have a place to live and by extend food on your table. Be grateful for that you even are alive to see another day to make use of.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member
5 hours ago, Guest sara said:

this was said and described by a brother and not by me,if you read in detail you will understand it

Bismehe Ta3ala 

Assalam Alikum dear sister 

How are you?  I hope you are feeling better.

Are you seeing anyone in real life?

Insh'Allah your son is well.  

I hope when the time is right with you, you will sign up on shiachat. 

God bless you and protect you from all harm.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest sara
10 hours ago, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala 

Assalam Alikum dear sister 

How are you?  I hope you are feeling better.

Are you seeing anyone in real life?

Insh'Allah your son is well.  

I hope when the time is right with you, you will sign up on shiachat. 

God bless you and protect you from all harm.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

Wsalam sister,

im doing fine thank you, and my son is well too.

im not seeing anyone in real life.

Thanks for your wishes

Best regards

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

I remember having thoughts of suicide for no good reason as a child, but deep inside I knew that I did not want to do such a thing and leave my family or sin against God.  Later in life, I had a son that grew up and became addicted to drugs at an early age of 15 years old, up until his mid 30's.  He tried to commit suicide 3 different times.  He knew in his heart it was not right.  The first time he backed away before taking any action.  The 2nd time, he was just not successful.  The 3rd time, he almost succeeded, but by the grace and mercy of God he lived.  Here is the miracle of God!  My son went into a wooded park and found a trail that led to a deep ditch with water.  As he walked, he slit his wrist on one arm, but it was not bleeding fast enough, so he slit the other wrist.  Along the way he saw an old cell phone that was not charged and just put it in his pocket.  When he got to the stream of water, he sat down very weak and realized he was dying.  In that instant, he said to himself, "I don't want to die."  He reached for the cell phone to call me, but the phone had no charge.  He decided to dial the emergency number, and to his surprise, it connected to the police.  Before he passed out and rolled into the water, he was able to give the name of the park, but no other information.  The police found him fallen into the deep ditch, but face up.  They said that had they been 10 minutes later, he would have died.  Had he been face down in the water, he would have died. 

Why did my son do this?  He said because of his guilt and shame.  He could not break away from the addiction, as bad as he wanted to.  It had consumed him, and all he wanted was a normal life.  The devil wants nothing better than to end our lives, particularly if we belong to God.  The devil hates God and he wants to destroy anyone that has anything to do with Him.  The devil not only wanted to destroy my son's soul in hell, but his family too.  Suicide not only affects the person who commits it, but those that love them.

I give all honor and glory to God that my son lived!  My son not only lived, but, by the grace of God, he has overcome the addiction.  He has been drug free for over 2 years now.  The devil is in the world trying to destroy man, but according to the Injeel in John 16:33 Jesus says, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace.  In the world you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."  This tells me, that no matter what the devil tries to use against us, no matter what trial or hardship, Jesus fights for me, and I too am an overcomer, through Christ.  He is my hope that I cling to when there seems to be no hope.  He was my sons hope, and he lives today.  I pray this will be a blessing to you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest sara
23 hours ago, Marcy said:

I remember having thoughts of suicide for no good reason as a child, but deep inside I knew that I did not want to do such a thing and leave my family or sin against God.  Later in life, I had a son that grew up and became addicted to drugs at an early age of 15 years old, up until his mid 30's.  He tried to commit suicide 3 different times.  He knew in his heart it was not right.  The first time he backed away before taking any action.  The 2nd time, he was just not successful.  The 3rd time, he almost succeeded, but by the grace and mercy of God he lived.  Here is the miracle of God!  My son went into a wooded park and found a trail that led to a deep ditch with water.  As he walked, he slit his wrist on one arm, but it was not bleeding fast enough, so he slit the other wrist.  Along the way he saw an old cell phone that was not charged and just put it in his pocket.  When he got to the stream of water, he sat down very weak and realized he was dying.  In that instant, he said to himself, "I don't want to die."  He reached for the cell phone to call me, but the phone had no charge.  He decided to dial the emergency number, and to his surprise, it connected to the police.  Before he passed out and rolled into the water, he was able to give the name of the park, but no other information.  The police found him fallen into the deep ditch, but face up.  They said that had they been 10 minutes later, he would have died.  Had he been face down in the water, he would have died. 

Why did my son do this?  He said because of his guilt and shame.  He could not break away from the addiction, as bad as he wanted to.  It had consumed him, and all he wanted was a normal life.  The devil wants nothing better than to end our lives, particularly if we belong to God.  The devil hates God and he wants to destroy anyone that has anything to do with Him.  The devil not only wanted to destroy my son's soul in hell, but his family too.  Suicide not only affects the person who commits it, but those that love them.

I give all honor and glory to God that my son lived!  My son not only lived, but, by the grace of God, he has overcome the addiction.  He has been drug free for over 2 years now.  The devil is in the world trying to destroy man, but according to the Injeel in John 16:33 Jesus says, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace.  In the world you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."  This tells me, that no matter what the devil tries to use against us, no matter what trial or hardship, Jesus fights for me, and I too am an overcomer, through Christ.  He is my hope that I cling to when there seems to be no hope.  He was my sons hope, and he lives today.  I pray this will be a blessing to you.

Dear sister,

Very sorry to hear what you and your son have gone through, indeed every person has their own struggles and hardships of life, but the good thing is that your son fought with all the hardships and  in the end he succeeded gracefully.

Thank you for your lovely prayers sending the same for you.

Regards

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...