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In the Name of God بسم الله

Everything is messed up in my life

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Salam ,

If I was in your position , I would go to Najaf and Karbala as it does release stress , anxiety and the feeling of burden. If not then I would pray to Allah that He may remove my burdens , debts , anxiety , stress and problems in this world and the Hereafter. 

Hope this Helps , 

AbalFadhl

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Salam...

Tests are normal parts of Life.  Even Princess Diana was tested too despite married to a Prince and was very rich.  So will be the orphan girl who live in temporary  refugee camp in cold winter. 

Islam doesn't not guarantee worldly life as we planned for it.  What looks easy for others may not be easy for us.

Islam guarantees internal peace, hope and ultimate direction to those who are on the path Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and His Servants. It is opened to all, young and old, poor and rich, men and women, higher and lower level of education.... 

If we can see what the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) saw or experienced in order to serve Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), then we will understand why ourselves are created for and our duties.  That will be our missions in Life.

Easy for me say all the above, because I am not in everyone's shoes.  However, i said it because to remind myself.  And I do believe that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) will not burden a single soul beyond his,her capacities to endure.  That itself is a huge mercy (raahmah).

But, we must work hard and plan and use the intelligent that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has given us.  In addition, we are all interdependent (social beings) so we can get help from others.  Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) helps can come through others.  One of those others can be our Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) and Imam (عليه السلام).

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3 hours ago, AbalFadhl said:

Salam ,

If I was in your position , I would go to Najaf and Karbala as it does release stress , anxiety and the feeling of burden. If not then I would pray to Allah that He may remove my burdens , debts , anxiety , stress and problems in this world and the Hereafter. 

Hope this Helps , 

AbalFadhl

Or...before we drink a glass of water, tea or coffee on daily basis.. say "Assalamuala Hussain,  wa aala Ali ibnul Hussain wa aala Auladul Hussain wa aala Ashabil Hussain".  Remind ourselves how thirsty they were at Karbala, then may our remembrance of Hussain (عليه السلام) and those were with him will give us strength to face the tests in this world.

Wallahualam..

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Wa alaikum as salam

Maybe you need to go to the root cause of the issues. You say everything is messed up, but maybe these are normal occurrences that can happen in life. You quit university, maybe you should rejoin. Do you spend the day doing productive activities, or are you wasting them away? 

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53 minutes ago, Mahdavist said:

Wa alaikum as salam

Maybe you need to go to the root cause of the issues. You say everything is messed up, but maybe these are normal occurrences that can happen in life. You quit university, maybe you should rejoin. Do you spend the day doing productive activities, or are you wasting them away? 

To rephrase this: Get organized gurl. You are writing like a quitter.

Can you "measure" quit levels?

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13 hours ago, AbalFadhl said:

Salam ,

If I was in your position , I would go to Najaf and Karbala as it does release stress , anxiety and the feeling of burden. If not then I would pray to Allah that He may remove my burdens , debts , anxiety , stress and problems in this world and the Hereafter. 

Hope this Helps , 

AbalFadhl

Assuming the situation right now..it is not possible to go Irak.. because of coronavirus..and I'm in self isolation because I might got in contact with someone who has coronavirus... unfortunately not the best time to travel anywhere

10 hours ago, layman said:

Islam doesn't not guarantee worldly life as we planned for it.  What looks easy for others may not be easy for us.

I agree with you... there is no issue with religion..the Problem is with me or better to say there something wrong with me.

10 hours ago, Ansar Shiat Ali said:

And when you get sad, Remember Aba Abdillah and his family and cry over them.

I think I should remember him more...to cry over this tragedy is never enough:(

5 hours ago, starlight said:

The best course is to make efforts for it and do dua but not attach to the desire so much that it preys on your mind.

Those words of you just hit my heart..so true... that's where I went wrong 

4 hours ago, Mahdavist said:

You quit university, maybe you should rejoin. Do you spend the day doing productive activities, or are you wasting them away? 

I quite uni because it has several reasons...but I'm sure I'll rejoin but in another subject... I spent my Days with different activities.. I try my best to be always productive and creative ...but with all that stress I can't enjoy even those things..that I really love to do

3 hours ago, hasanhh said:

To rephrase this: Get organized gurl. You are writing like a quitter.

Can you "measure" quit levels?

I definitely has to be more organized...but I'm really disappointed with my self... I never expected that I would let my self that down.

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I think you are overthinking the situation and making it more stressful than it should be. 

Leave behind disappointment in yourself and other such negative thoughts. 

What has passed, has passed. Try to focus more on the present. As human beings we do what we can and we leave the outcome with Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). 

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@Ain-Al Hayat  as someone who has been through a bit of a hard patch myself, I'd say blaming yourself is one of the worst thing that you can do at this point. Don't dwell too much on who's at fault.

Keeping yourself busy, or surrounded by friends/family, will help a lot. Isolating yourself, and staying idle will only make it worse. You're right; opening up about your pain helps somewhat, but make sure that you only do it with people you trust, or anonymous online strangers. Better yet, talk to a professional; they are much better equipped to handle these situations than laymen.

Also, don't make the same mistake that I made; isolating myself from religion completely. Things got to the point that I was on the verge of taking  drastic, haram measures a couple of times, something that would have destroyed my afterlife beyond repair. Allah eventually guided me back to observing wajibat, and it helped restore and maintain my sanity.

We're all praying for you; may Allah give you the strength and patience to heal and get through.

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1 hour ago, Mahdavist said:

I think you are overthinking the situation and making it more stressful than it should be. 

Leave behind disappointment in yourself and other such negative thoughts. 

I might be overthinking..but that's not in my control... I just feel helpless...and I think I'm loosing something really precious... I feel I'm running out of something...but I can't come to conclusion...my parents think I'm mentality disturbed... which I'm not...they are constantly pushing me to go to see a psychiatrist... they have even made an appointment without my permission..  situation is getting out of control now... I don't know how they gonna react...if they found out I have quit uni... I don't know how to explain them .. bedside that there other problems as well... I'm trying my best to not argue with them..but I know sooner or later the bubble is gonna blast

Edited by Ain-Al Hayat
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1 hour ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

I might be overthinking..but that's not in my control... I just feel helpless...and I think I'm loosing something really precious... I feel I'm running out of something...but I can't come to conclusion...my parents think I'm mentality disturbed... which I'm not...they are constantly pushing me to go to see a psychiatrist... they have even made an appointment without my permission..  situation is getting out of control now... I don't know how they gonna react...if they found out I have quit uni... I don't know how to explain them .. bedside that there other problems as well... I'm trying my best to not argue with them..but I know sooner or later the bubble is gonna blast

Salam Sister. I suggest you take your parents advice. If you feel alone. You are not, Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is with you. If you are sitting down with another person, Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is the 3rd. By taking your parents advice the bubble won't blast. If their advice helps you'll feel better. 

InshAllah this helps.

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18 hours ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

Salaam

I hope everyone is doing fine. I have been going through a lot from a past month now...from failures to heart broken and then quitting Uni...this all has been a quite burden and stressing for me....but the one thing that I have noticed is that my faith in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has increased immensely...for which I'm really thankful... But I'm still in the process to realise it doesn't matter what I want... the only thing what actually should matter is what Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) wants for me....and that's the best thing...he knows what's the best for me..no doubt

Still deep inside of me there are some regrets, anxiety, a sea full of tears and I think it is important to go through a point in your life where everything seems out of control. Once you get to that point, it’s hard to know where to start. The bad news is that it will be hard, for sure...but the good thing is that you will get through it.

Why I'm saying this is that I know...many of us are going through some hardships and many are not motivated to carry on ...many of us will be saying..."Why this always happens to me??? Why I'm the only one ?? Why god..." Stop blaming Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) ...start asking yourself... where did you go wrong...how can you improve...stop being stubborn... just learn to move on! 

It's okay to not be okay...and that's normale...please don't be harsh on yourself...it will take time for the situation to get stable. 

And I'm sure I'm not the only one ... there are many people who feel the same...and please be open to discuss such matters.... I know some of them hides their pain and keep it to themselves (that's what I used to be)... believe me this finishes you innerly... at least talk to someone who you believe can help you out with your problems and don't forget that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is always with you:)

Wasalam

 

Salaam sister,

Actually, you know the baseline. You know the realities and you know what's wrong. Somewhere deep inside your heart, somewhere in the realm of objectivity, somewhere, somewhere within your crowdy and noisy world of thoughts. You know what you need to do and you know what is right.

I would just say to you that pray to Allah (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) and ask Allah (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم). And try to break yourself and submit to Allah (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم). Let yourself loose while praying. Cry and vail if you feel like. Take my word, Allah (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) will give you the answer which will be sensed by no one but your heart. 

Allah loves you. But something should be percieved only by the heart

You know the most difficult thing for a person is to accept reality and submit to it. 

Sister @starlight's words remind me of a letter of Imam Ali (عليه السلام) to Hazrat Abdullah ibn Abbas (رضي الله عنه) in  Nahj ul Balagha:

Quote

And then, sometimes a person feels joyful about a thing which he was not to miss in any case and feels grieved for a thing which was not to come to him at all. Therefore, you should not regard the attainment of pleasure and the satisfaction of the desire for revenge as the best favour of this world, but it should be the putting off of the (flame of) wrong and the revival of right. Your pleasure should be for what (good acts) you have sent forward; your grief should be for what you are leaving behind; and your worry should be about what is to befall after death.

These are two videos I would suggest you to watch surely by any means. 

Understand that this world is transient:

 

 

 

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you and you can always ask and share anything that is troubling you sister. 

Edited by Zainuu
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9 hours ago, starlight said:

Coincidentally, I was discussing similar problems with someone else yesterday. Here is the advice I gave her and I would repeat it for you too. This is a general rule to follow for life. Never become obsessed with any thing worldly, be it a person or a career or lifestyle. It will take you away from the true path and lead you towards harm sooner or later. I can't tell you how many times I have seen people going through serious emotional turmoil because they had to get into medical school, marry x person, obtain citizenship of that first world county. I can write pages upon pages recounting the stories of people I personally know who screwed up their lives because they had to have that one thing or person, no matter what the cost. 

It's natural for humans to have desires for things and for certain people too. The best course is to make efforts for it and do dua but not attach to the desire so much that it preys on your mind. Whatever Allah has destined for you will reach you whether it's a person, or money or a the house you have been dreaming to buy*. If it isn't meant for you in Allah's plans than no amount of effort will take you to it.

The only thing we should be obssessed with, if anything, is to seek closeness to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and submit with contentment to whatever He chooses for us, with the firm belief that this was for the best. Getting close to Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) won't eliminate problems from our lives because some people think becoming religious = all your hajaats fulfilled and difficulties vanished. No, this won't happen but what happens is that a person gets the strength to endure difficulties with Sabr. This is what is true success.

* There was this this really smart sweater dress I liked but it was pricey so I decided to wait for the sales. Well, on the sale they marked it down by a small percentage and even then it was sold out on the website. I debated whether to go check it in the store but it appeared a popular item and still seemed too much money so I just told myself it's not worth the trouble of driving there and it's meant for me it will reach me somehow or Allah will make me stop fancying it. :P That was two weeks back.

Yesterday on the website it was marked down to half price, available in only my size and just one piece left. Guess who is eagerly waiting for the delivery guy. :party::woot:

Salaam sister,

A question for you.

What would you say about the desire of something which will benefit us in the hereafter? If someone looses such a thing and such a loss hurts him, what will you say to him so as to help him move on?

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14 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

What would you say about the desire of something which will benefit us in the hereafter?

If something takes you closer to Allah you should try to attain it. But of course in the end it's upto Allah whether he grants you with that thing or not. 

The problem is we do not know for sure if something is going to be beneficial for us, other than Quran and Ahlulbayt (عليه السلام) . The rest are grey areas. For example, you might think marrying certain someone will complete your deen but that can't be true for everyone. Or one might feel that choosing a certain profession will surely get him closer to Allah but that's not the case everytime. So in my opinion if one plans to really focus his efforts on it should only be Allah and Ahlulbayt (عليه السلام).

18 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

If someone looses such a thing and such a loss hurts him, what will you say to him so as to help him move on?

Depends. Did one lose it due to his/her own negligence? Then repentance/istighfar might help. Otherwise, Allah can always compensate with something else if He wants.

Every good thing is our life is an amanah from Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) good spouse, children, wealth, health. We should take good care of these while they are with us and He will take his thing back when the time is up and one should be sincerely grateful for the time Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) blessed him with His bounty. That's all. In the end everything comes down to humbly submitting to his plans. 

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24 minutes ago, starlight said:

Did one lose it due to his/her own negligence? Then repentance/istighfar might help. Otherwise, Allah can always compensate with something else if He wants.

No not negligence. Being negligent indicates of working to remove those weakness and faults that caused such a deficiency.

But rather something else.

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1 hour ago, Syed Ali Mehdi Shah Naqvi said:

Well. I have to go for a Biopsy tomorrow morning. And i was told two days before it by doctor. I was scared but was able to enjoy two days by following a simple principle:

Jab ayegi, tab dekhi jaegi

(Will see when i have to face it)

And tomorrow is the day lol.

Would likento request everyone, do pray for me.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) protect you brother from every illness and every calamity.

726725352_images(16).jpeg.3d1b6fb269a4ee0013b041d6c9fa27ff.jpeg

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4 hours ago, Zainuu said:

I would just say to you that pray to Allah (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) and ask Allah (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم). And try to break yourself and submit to Allah (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم). Let yourself loose while praying. Cry and vail if you feel like. Take my word, Allah (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) will give you the answer which will be sensed by no one but your heart. 

Thanks for such a nice advice... I hope everything gets better with the time... insha'Allahah

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14 hours ago, starlight said:

Coincidentally, I was discussing similar problems with someone else yesterday. Here is the advice I gave her and I would repeat it for you too. 

@starlightBeautifully written, very inspiring and extremely motivating. Reading the above passage brought a big smile to my face. Thnx for sharing your thoughts on this matter. 

Edited by Aflower
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11 hours ago, Ain-Al Hayat said:

I definitely has to be more organized...but I'm really disappointed with my self... I never expected that I would let my self that down.

Concentrate on your Fard schedule and inshallah, everything else will follow as it's supposed to be.

Most things are disappointments, yet a few appointments do come, inshallah.

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20 hours ago, Syed Ali Mehdi Shah Naqvi said:

Well. I have to go for a Biopsy tomorrow morning. And i was told two days before it by doctor. I was scared but was able to enjoy two days by following a simple principle:

Jab ayegi, tab dekhi jaegi

(Will see when i have to face it)

And tomorrow is the day lol.

Would likento request everyone, do pray for me.

I hope everything went smoothly and you are doing fine... insha'Allahah

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