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In the Name of God بسم الله

Mother doesn't want me moving out

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Guest Hasan

I will be getting married soon, so I am looking to move out of my parents home and find an apartment close by. However my mother is making me feel guilty, saying that I am abandoning my parents and am terrible for placing my wife above them, even though I'll be living in the same city. She seems to think that her children are still little kids, rather than adults. How should I proceed? What do I tell her? Why doesnt she realize that people like privacy and having their own home, especially after getting married? 

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It's important to avoid arguing with her and entering a conflict. If she accuses you or gets upset at you, listen to her politely without arguing back. 

This doesn't mean that you shouldn't move into your own place. Do what you need to do, but don't argue about it or let matters escalate. 

With time she will learn to accept it inshaAllah. 

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You have to just do it. Move out. Ignore her guilt trips.

You don’t have to explain anything. Rent an apartment, and if she wants to complain, tell her you already are renting it out as you’re moving out.  

Edited by Caroling
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How does your dad feel? is he ok with it? perhaps talk to him and maybe he explains to her.

Explain to them You can live with them for a certain short period but eventually have to move on your home because you want privacy, you want a place that you and wife can feel comfortable.

Explain that eventually issues may rises between her and the wife (e.g. over cooking, over washing or whatever it might or when they start criticizing each other). You're going to feel that you're always being watched.

Tell her that if you can't visit them you will call them and you'll visit them whenever you can or whenever they need help.

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