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In the Name of God بسم الله

Marriage for minors

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Guest jessica

It is permissible for a teenager of 16,17 years old to get married to a man of 40 years old ? 
Because for me it’s not normal sorry and I really would like to know. 
 

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1 hour ago, Guest jessica said:

It is permissible for a teenager of 16,17 years old to get married to a man of 40 years old ? 
Because for me it’s not normal sorry and I really would like to know. 
 

well bible has written how isaac(40) married rebecca(3).. in islam we belief that a girl can start with marriage when she entered puberty trough her first menses (thats how we see in islam if a girl became a full grown women)but the rules in marriage is always that the women as male agree in it elsewhere it isnt allowed!!.

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if this is again something to try make fun of islam..then at least know that isaac married a 3 year old while he was 40 according to bible..

btw..here is some information as reverence..that isaac was 40 while rebecca 3

 

If you read Genesis you will discover that Rebekah was 3 years old when she was married to Isaac who was 40.

The following scriptural facts are used to establish Rebekah’s age at her marriage to Isaac.
1. Sarah was 90 when Abraham was 100 (Genesis 17: 17).

2. Abraham was 100 when Isaac was born (Genesis 21: 5).

3. Sarah died at aged 127 (Genesis 23: 1-2).

4. Isaac was 40 when he married Rebekah (Genesis 25: 20). Two further facts are necessary inferences from the above four facts.

5. Sarah was 90 when Isaac was born (conclusion from 1 and 2 above).

6. Isaac was 37 when his mother Sarah died (because 127-90=37).

7.Abraham informed of Rebekah’s birth (Genesis 22: 20-23); and Sarah’s death aged 127 (Genesis 23: 1-2) Abraham informed of Rebekah’s birth when Sarah was 127.

8. Since Isaac was 37 at his mother’s death, he was 37 when Rebekah was born.

9. Since Isaac was 40 when he married Rebekah, Rebekah would be 3 when the marriage took place (because 40-37=3)

also according to rabbies they admit it!!

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so know i have also a question if you dont mind..do you think its ok? to marry a 3 year old? because for me it isnt !!! and sounds really nasty!!!

Edited by F.M
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1 hour ago, Guest jessica said:

 

It is permissible for a teenager of 16,17 years old to get married to a man of 40 years old ? 

 

If you have a look at history back in the time of Moses and Jesus we can see 12 year olds being married to 30 40 years old’s and even in the medieval times we can see that. Nowa days no muslim nor Jew nor Judo-Christian subscribes to these particular marriages since everything has advanced and progressed thus this old widespread tradition has been suspended for the most part around the globe. While it is permissible it is not encouraged nowadays even in the time of the imams (grandsons of Muhammad) they(the imams grandsons of Muhammad) encouraged people to marry from their own age bracket. 

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2 hours ago, Guest jessica said:

It is permissible for a teenager of 16,17 years old to get married to a man of 40 years old ? 
Because for me it’s not normal sorry and I really would like to know. 
 

In Islam, the requirements for marriage, in terms of age is a floor not a ceiling. In other words, there is a minimum age requirement (rushd and baligh) but not a maximum. This means that, yes, a 16 year old girl can marry a 40 year old man, if this marriage is legal in the country where it is going to take place. At the same time, there are other considerations with marriage, besides it being legal. The marriage should not be forced, both spouses must agree to the marriage, free from coercion from parents, community, etc, for it to be legal and acceptable, Islamically. Also, both spouses need to consider whether they will be able to stay with this person for x number of years, in a happy and fulfilled state. I would question this part, when it comes to a 16 year old marrying a 40 year old. I'm not sure they would be compatible from a personality perspective, since they are from different generations. At the same time, there are marriages like this that are happy marriages, so I guess it depends on the individuals involved whether they are willing to overlook some things and whether their personalities are compatible in the long term. 

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I just want to say that there's this tendency to believe child marriages are perfectly excusable. But they're really not. 

One, children cannot consent. Two, no child can physically deal with having a sexual relationship with an adult. So any support of this is to support inherently harmful practices, and propagating harm is against Islam. 

Now, when it comes to older teens that are nearly 18, I don't have any issues with them marrying any age if they are able to consent, and do so. In some societies, women are pushed into marriages since it works for the families politically, this is contradictory to the Quran and should be condemned. 

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4 hours ago, Guest jessica said:

for me it’s not normal

Well, thankfully the religion of Allah is not based on what’s normal for you. 

4 hours ago, Guest jessica said:

teenager of 16,17

But it’s completely normal for them to be single mothers/fathers? 

Edit: if the female is a virgin then she would need her families approval nonetheless, if it is a male then as long as he’s able to work and sustain a family what is the issue? I don’t see why this is an intense moral issue for you. 

Edited by Mohammad313Ali
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8 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

when it comes to a 16 year old marrying a 40 year old. I'm not sure they would be compatible from a personality perspective, since they are from different generations. At the same time, there are marriages like this that are happy marriages

Pardon my ignorance brother, but have you personally come across modern day examples of what you describe?

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3 hours ago, KulluNafsin said:

The comments in here are ridiculous

Why don’t you enlighten us?

3 hours ago, KulluNafsin said:

Lets look a little bit beyond halal/haram

What is beyond haram and halal cannot be answered particularly when the question was of general nature, your idea of “grooming” is theoretical and unpractical. 

 When we look at Halal and Haram instead of looking beyond it, we can clearly see that a girl wouldn’t be alone with someone that age, especially if she was that young and if she was a virgin he would need the approval of her guardian nonetheless. 

As for the male it is a lot more easier in the sense that his ability to financially provide for a 40 year old woman would indicate a gifted advancement, albeit a strange inclination to someone a lot older. 

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13 hours ago, Guest jessica said:

It is permissible for a teenager of 16,17 years old to get married to a man of 40 years old ? 
Because for me it’s not normal sorry and I really would like to know. 
 

Salaam,

First of all, 

Depends whether they are really 'child' by the meaning of the word 'child'. 

The 'child upbringing' according to Islam is a very crucial task which needs wisdom and hardwork. 

Successful child development actually takes 10-12 years for a child to reach a better level of understanding and can be called 'grown up' and 'mature'.

Watch this video and see the level on which this scholar is talking. We never see someone talking about this. We treat kids like toys. We play with them and there lives. And when they grow 16-17 or 20 years, we say, "they are still young". 

Now, please tell me if a man or a woman is capable enough at the age of 15 to decide about relationship and can take responsibilities and is sane enough to make a good decision, then why there marriage with any grown up is wrong???

A 40 year man can marry a 15 year woman if they both consent to it and they are sane enough to decide for themselves. Also, the parents also agree for there daughter on this. And vice-versa.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you, protect you.

I hope you got the answer.

Edited by Zainuu
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3 hours ago, lissenma said:

Is there no single younger than 40 believing men  where you live?

It happens. And let me tell you that many women even desire for this. 

People are people. You like it or not.

Personally, I am extremely critical about this. But my criticism is on a personal level. Like, how can men be so weird and women be so ridiculous.

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12 hours ago, Moalfas said:

Pardon my ignorance brother, but have you personally come across modern day examples of what you describe?

Yes

Our attitudes toward age difference are very flexible and are mostly based on our experiences and what we see around us in society and in the media that we see. That's why Islam doesn't have a 'hard' position when it comes to age differences in marriage, whether the women is older than the man or the man is older than the women. I have personally seen marriages both ways (the man is significantly older than the women, and where the women is significantly older than the man) and have seen some that fail, and some that succeed. Again, this largely depends on the attitude toward age difference of the spouses. If a women or a man has the attitude that their potential spouse is 'old' and this makes this person less desirable to them, to the point that they couldn't fulfill their wajibat and be happy and fulfilled in the marriage relationship, then definitely, definitely, I wouldn't recommend them to marry that person. At the same time, not everyone would have this attitude. 

At the same time, the generation thing is real, and a real hazard when it comes to large age differences in marriage. If the spouses are 20 years or more apart (the time period for a typical generation) they are from different generations. So probably their ideas and attitudes toward alot of things are different, which could lead to problems in the marriage. But, from my experience, this is the same as a women and a man from two different cultures or ethnicities marrying (and Iraqi marrying a Pakistani, or a British person marrying a person from the ME). These marriages are perfectly fine, Islamically, but the spouses should go into this marriage with full knowledge that there will be some issues to overcome and they are willing to put in the effort to do this, because they see other good, attractive qualities in the potential spouse that makes these efforts 'worth it'. 

 

Edited by Abu Hadi
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23 hours ago, Guest jessica said:

It is permissible for a teenager of 16,17 years old to get married to a man of 40 years old ? 
Because for me it’s not normal sorry and I really would like to know. 
 

Sometimes it seems that our environment shapes our morality. For example, I am not referring this to you, but some westerners would find it horrendous that a 17 year old girl marry an 18+ year old male; but as soon as she hits 18, this is completely fine by them. Thus, if there is no moral law giver (God) then morality seems to be based on subjective opinion and aesthetics. In Shia Islam, the absolute minimum age of consummation is 9 or 10 for women and 14 or 15 for men from what I have heard, if I am wrong a more knowledgeable brother like  @Mahdavist or @Abu Hadi can correct me. This might sound way too young for you, but we have to remember this is in the context of a time when people did not have to look forward to primary school, high school, college, getting a comfortable job etc., many children are already engaging in such acts within schools in the west. Please also note that there are other conditions for marriage like the consent and permission of the father of the daughter, consent within the marriage etc. Further, we need to follow the law of the land that we live in.

21 hours ago, F.M said:

well bible has written how isaac(40) married rebecca(3).

I have also heard according to some apocryphals that Mary was 12–14 years old, and Joseph was ninety years old when they married.. Plus as far as I know the bible does not have a set age for marriage.

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On 1/19/2021 at 2:35 PM, Guest jessica said:

It is permissible for a teenager of 16,17 years old to get married to a man of 40 years old ? 
Because for me it’s not normal sorry and I really would like to know. 

Yes it's permissible and Islam doesn't see this as an issue...of course the society where we live in doesn't see this as a perfect match or what so ever ...we have made our own perspective and Ideal standard....so it's normal that you think like that... that's not your fault... actually I at some point thought the same as you..but with the time I got familiar with the religious point of view...and if tow individuals with an age difference can live happily and they have considered every aspect ... I think the society shouldn't make fun out of those couples or spread any kind of negativity because I think love doesn't see "age gap"...or it shouldn't be seen as a barrier for not getting married to a younger or an older person ...what really matters is the purity of the heart and the good intentions...what if someday you'll find someone special..and if the person is older or younger than you... won't you marry?... because what will people say or because someone doesn't see this as Normal... that's pure rubbish and I think if today's generation really want to be advanced and I'm saying this in general....then with all respect please open your minds and don't think limited. 

I found does links helpful...if you are interested. .. you can have a look on it..it explained and mentioned really good points regarding the age difference...and some points which you should keep in mind ...if you want to marry someone who is younger or older than you..

https://india.shafaqna.com/EN/the-appropriate-age-difference-for-marriage-from-the-islamic-point-of-view/?amp

https://hadithoftheday.com/age-difference-between-spouses/

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