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In the Name of God بسم الله

Very odd experience

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Guest Mohummad

This is a bit TMI but I'll go ahead anyways. About two weeks ago I made the firm decision to quit all porn and masturbation. And since then, I literally have not had a single haram urge. In the past when I tried to quit, the urges would come back quickly and I'd give in. Now, it's almost as if Allah has removed those urges from me completely. I might come across an indecent picture on the internet that would usually excite me, but now I feel nothing. 

This is such a blessing for someone who is trying to quit this sin, but at the same time the paranoid side of my mind worries that this might be a permanent thing (that I might have turned impotent or asexual, crazy and stupid thought I know) that will affect me in my future once I'm married. 

Any thoughts or similar experiences? 

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It's good that you left those sins. Satan wants you to go back to where you were before. That's why he puts that idea into your mind. Don't overthink. You'll be fine when you are married. Remove all sinful videos, pics, everything and live healthy.

Edited by Quran313
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21 hours ago, Guest Mohummad said:

This is a bit TMI but I'll go ahead anyways. About two weeks ago I made the firm decision to quit all porn and masturbation. And since then, I literally have not had a single haram urge. In the past when I tried to quit, the urges would come back quickly and I'd give in. Now, it's almost as if Allah has removed those urges from me completely. I might come across an indecent picture on the internet that would usually excite me, but now I feel nothing. 

This is such a blessing for someone who is trying to quit this sin, but at the same time the paranoid side of my mind worries that this might be a permanent thing (that I might have turned impotent or asexual, crazy and stupid thought I know) that will affect me in my future once I'm married. 

Any thoughts or similar experiences? 

Thats very normal when you feel nothing. Look into NoFap and there are articles that will explain the different stages your body will go through when you quit M and P 

JUST KEEP IT GOING MY BROTHER!

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I experience something similar with weight loss. I realized that almost every time I was successful with my fitness goals, I did not struggle much. My hunger and cravings just wouldn't bother me. But with the majority of my attempts, I would start a diet and feel a powerful craving and hunger that would ruin everything. Because of this I don't think I ever lost weight due to my own initiative or strength, it was only due to God's mercy and will. All good is from God.

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4 hours ago, Guest window said:

I experience something similar with weight loss. I realized that almost every time I was successful with my fitness goals, I did not struggle much. My hunger and cravings just wouldn't bother me. But with the majority of my attempts, I would start a diet and feel a powerful craving and hunger that would ruin everything. Because of this I don't think I ever lost weight due to my own initiative or strength, it was only due to God's mercy and will. All good is from God.

Bismehe Ta3ala 

Assalam Alikum 

I wish you can talk more about this.

What were you doing to help you maintain this weight loss?

How were you able to remove the feel of cravings and the urge to eat?

M3 Salamah, Fe Amin Allah 

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3 hours ago, Laayla said:

How were you able to remove the feel of cravings and the urge to eat?

The urge to eat is emotional. When you’re angry, sad, anxious. 
 

Mindful eating is to ask yourself, “Am I hungry?” Y/N. 

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On 1/17/2021 at 12:31 AM, Guest Mohummad said:

but at the same time the paranoid side of my mind worries that this might be a permanent thing

This is actually healthy and normal for a man. The bodily function that newage media keeps molesting repeatedly morning noon and night is rather designed to active at intimate (and real) moments which are of course so rare and this also ensures its health. Corporate "Science!" will tell you otherwise, using clever statements like frequent "sex" "is good for the prostate!" but that's what they do to serve the overall system.

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What probably happened is that you became more careful about avoiding things that will stimulate this desire. The desire for this sin doesn't come out of 'thin air'. The desire is created by stimulation, and there are certain things in your environment that stimulate this. You probably know what they are. There are some that are general, and some that are specific to you. The real meaning of the ayat 'cast down your glance' does not only mean 'don't look at the backside of a women who is passing you on the street' (as some say in that this was the circumstance that the ayat was revealed, i.e. a muslim man was looking at a women in such a way as she was passing by). It means that any thing that stimulates you toward doing a sin, you should try your best to eliminate it from your environment, as much as you possible can. Depending on where you live, you cannot eliminate it completely, because some Western Countries and other places allow these things to be posted on the sides of highways. At the same time, the most important environment is what is directly around you (your home, or somewhere that you spend alot of time in like an office, and your electronic devices). If you can purify the environment directly around you of these things, then you have succeeded in this and the desires will become less over time. The most important parts of this environment these days are the electronic ones, (phone, computer, etc). So make sure you are very careful about what media you consume on these.

Also (and this might not apply if you are living in a place like Iran or Pakistan) try to avoid public places where women are usually scantily dressed, like the beach, etc. I grew up in Los Angeles (I don't live there anymore) and I used to love going to the beach. Once I became muslim (I am a revert to Islam) I went to the beach for a while but then I realized that this environment was causing my thoughts to deviate toward haram, so I quit going. It was a sacrifice I made, fe Sibilillah, but it payed off because now my thoughts don't deviate in the ways that they did at that time. So it is a cause and effect relationship, if you remove the cause, the effect will take care of itself. I think this is what you are experiencing. 

I highly doubt you have become impotent. Part of this desire is imagined (the haram part) and part of it is real (the halal part). You have no halal outlet for the real, halal part but it is still there.  The halal part only 'activates' in a very specific situation, i.e. when you are alone with a women who is halal to you thru marriage. Married people can tell you that once you are in an intimate situation with the women that you love and care about, and she is halal for you, these things will happen naturally and without effort. I think this is probably the last thing you should worry about, unless there is some sort of medical issue. If you are really concerned about this, you can get your baseline hormone levels checked, but most likely these are normal, InShahAllah. 

Edited by Abu Hadi
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Guest Mohummad
13 hours ago, The Green Knight said:

This is actually healthy and normal for a man. The bodily function that newage media keeps molesting repeatedly morning noon and night is rather designed to active at intimate (and real) moments which are of course so rare and this also ensures its health. Corporate "Science!" will tell you otherwise, using clever statements like frequent "sex" "is good for the prostate!" but that's what they do to serve the overall system.

That's true, being in a state of constant arousal has been made the new normal,  so no wonder it feels odd to not be in that state

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If a person has no option to get married, then if he stays chaste and doesn't commit sins, he will eventually become sexually frustrated due to his unfulfilled sexual urges.

And if he doesn't want to get frustrated or cannot handle this frustration, then he would have to commit some sexual sin one way or another to release his natural urges, but then he would be answerable to Allah for this sin and might get punished. 

Now this is a dillema of the unmarried person.... If he wishes to remain chaste, it means sexual frustration - this is the price he would have to pay if he doesn't sin. And if he cannot tolerate the frustration, he would have to sin.

But the most ideal situation for an unmarried person would be that he neither sins nor does he suffer from any frustration due to the unfulfilled urges. This can happen, for instance, if an unmarried person manages to reduce his sexual desire to such a low level that he feels he is asexual. This may be a divine blessings in its own right - to have a sexual desire so low during unmarried life that one feels he is like asexual and thus faces no frustration which results from unfulfilled urges. It's achieving chastity without paying any price of frustration to achieve this goal. Few people can be like that, but if someone is then he should thank Allah that he is able to achieve something which most others only achieve at the cost of great mental frustration. 

 

Edited by Anonymous-Male
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On 1/17/2021 at 10:59 PM, Laayla said:

How were you able to remove the feel of cravings and the urge to eat?

Salam! Progress helped me, the more I lost the less powerful the urges became. And another thing to watch out for, the thing that makes me fall, is to keep your emotions and stress in check.

I did not remove it myself, it was from Allah. Whenever I try to diet I fail because the cravings are too strong, but sometimes it happens successfully with me barely noticing it, because God removes a lot of obstacles in this goal. I'm sorry but I can't tell you how to make that happen.

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Guest Mohummad
On 1/18/2021 at 2:47 AM, Abu Hadi said:

The desire for this sin doesn't come out of 'thin air'. The desire is created by stimulation

Is that really true? Don't people feel aroused sometimes for no reason, just based off of their hormones

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On 1/20/2021 at 12:38 PM, Guest window said:

Salam! Progress helped me, the more I lost the less powerful the urges became. And another thing to watch out for, the thing that makes me fall, is to keep your emotions and stress in check.

I did not remove it myself, it was from Allah. Whenever I try to diet I fail because the cravings are too strong, but sometimes it happens successfully with me barely noticing it, because God removes a lot of obstacles in this goal. I'm sorry but I can't tell you how to make that happen.

Wa Alikum Assalam wa rahmah 

Thank you for your response.

I'm glad you are conscious that this tawfeeq is from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).  So true.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

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Guest Mohummad
On 1/17/2021 at 8:53 AM, Quran313 said:

It's good that you left those sins.

 

On 1/17/2021 at 9:10 AM, MohammadAli1993 said:

JUST KEEP IT GOING MY BROTHER!

 

On 1/18/2021 at 1:24 AM, The Green Knight said:

This is actually healthy and normal for a man. 

 

On 1/18/2021 at 2:47 AM, Abu Hadi said:

What probably happened is that you became more careful about avoiding things that will stimulate this desire. 

Sorry to bother guys but I'm back i need a little more help/support. As I stated before alhamdulliah my urges are at a low level to the point where seeing lewd images by accident doesn't arouse me. But I started to wonder if that's even normal. Shouldn't it have an arousing effect on a normal man?

Also another question, even people who fast, keep busy, etc feel aroused now and then. When I have those rare moments of arousal, how do I fight back? It seems that sometimes in those rare moments, the devil clouds my judgment a bit and I sort of lose my willpower. Jazakallah for everyone's help may Allah bless you all!!

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9 hours ago, Guest Mohummad said:

alhamdulliah my urges are at a low level to the point where seeing lewd images by accident doesn't arouse me. But I started to wonder if that's even normal. Shouldn't it have an arousing effect on a normal man?

Alhumdolillah. I think that is the most ideal situation. You are avoiding sin without going through any difficulty. I believe that every man should be like that. In reality, the lustful gaze is an arrow of the devil which he throws at your eyes. An arrow is meant to cause pain, not give any pleasure. A man who understands the reality of the lustful gaze would take it as a painful, harmful, damaging action rather than getting any pleasure out of it. One of the Imams (عليه السلام) also commented on something similar by saying that when other people look at a glass of wine, they see wine. But when they (imams) look at it, they see fire. So, a true, chaste man will consider the haram gaze as an arrow of fire instead of anything that pleases his eyes. 

The aim of an unmarried person with no chance of marriage/mutah should be that he should suppress, extinguish and curb his urges to such low levels (like that of a child) that avoiding sin becomes very, very easy. If you have managed to achieve this target, that's good. Pray to Allah that it continues to be like that so that you face absolutely no difficulty at all in avoiding lustful gaze and other sins mashaAllah. A dua by one of the imams is that may Allah make it easy for us to follow Islam. So, may Allah make it so easy for unmarried men to avoid sins, that it causes them no hardship, difficulty or burden at all in any way. 

Edited by Anonymous-Male
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