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In the Name of God بسم الله

Ex-Muslims, what made you lose faith?

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To be fair did they even have faith to begin with, I feel like it just people born as muslims who didn’t really look into it and parents forced it upon them hence they were repulsed by it 

In my life my belief in God has only grown stronger. I use to be agnostic, but the more I look around the more evident becomes Gods existence. I have difficult seeing my self as an Atheist one day. Bu

il tell you what gives me faith enough faith that would fill any cup the thought that soon or somewhere in the near or distant future i am going to die, and there will be nobody there to hel

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On 1/25/2021 at 1:53 AM, Guest Guest Munafiq? said:

For me it was depression along my very high career expectations. When your growing up you think you are on the right path so of course god will make you successful.  You do everything right, don't eat harm through school, don't drink alcohol, don't have premarital relationships in high school or college and even with all that you fail at your career goals. Obviously it was my fault I failed at my goals, I didn't blame Islam. But I didn't see the need to follow it if it wasn't going to help me succeed in this world.  With depression there is a low point you hit and once you hit that low point you don't care about anything. Life becomes meaningless.  

I stopped caring about haram food, I ate haram food with my boss so I wouldn't seem out of place. I stopped caring about Shi'ism being the right path. Life became very meaningless and I was motivated on reaching my career goals.  During this time the whole ISIS thing was happening and I started looking into Islamic laws on slavery. I think the ethics of sex captives of non-Muslim women was the biggest issue for me. What you right hand possess is in the Quran, shared by both Sunni and Shias. Anyways long story short I would say I'm agnostic-shia not atheist. I find it hard to believe that God actually intervenes in the affairs of man. It is a pretty cruel world. I actually have a good life, but the 3rd world is a horrid place. The Muslim countries that pray and belief are actually the worst place to live in. The poverty and lack of basic necessities is sickening. 

I think people need to check their expectations, don't force high carrier expectations on people that can't achieve it. It kills them. I actually ended up achieving what I had set out to do.  But the hit I took from my failure really made me lose all faith. I still haven't completely recovered  from it. Whenever I go home I try to visit my local community/mosques, I like the intellectual elements of theology, philosophy and idea of community building. I avoid desi Shia communities b/c how traditional they are(i.e food is their top priority) and how little focus they have on community development. I guess I would be considered a munafiq, I doubt God inwardly but would never say it openly. 

If it weren't for the intellectual output of the community I would consider myself an apostate. However short works of Baqir Sadr and others that tackle modern issues have helped.  I recently read a self published book by Syed Jafri called "God and god of science", I really liked it b/c he discusses modern idea of evolution ect. It reads like "The Shia Creed" by Suduq but instead of the topics being discussed in 1000AD it discusses things in 2020AD. The book has it's draw backs, he sometimes is ugly/insulting towards the atheist view, but overall it is a great theological book written by a laymen giving his reason for belief.  

It sounds like leaving Islam didn't bring you any peace.

Maybe it's not the rituals but the mindset.

My advice continue the islamic practices. But try change your mindset and outlook.

If anything even from a non spiritual means Islam gives worldly benefits.

Time management (prayer)

Healthy eating and drinking

Good manners.

etc

 

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On 2/6/2021 at 5:00 AM, Muhammad Al-Hurr said:

Not everything is about fiqh. There is also akhlaq, aqa'id, amr bil maruf, nahi 'an il-munkar, etc.. The greatest believers are those who have akhlaq, those who are pious, seek to do good, enjoin the good, seek justice, forbid the evil, help the poor, are punctual, humble, patient, trustworthy and have many other similar qualities.

Sorry for the late reply. Of course not everything is about fiqh. I'm not new to Islam, and I absolutely believed in it for years. This is something you do when you truly think is perfect, even though I have been surrounded by manh examples of bad Muslims. Nonetheless, the fact a perfect religion (or ideology) cannot separate itself in any way from the hegemonical ignorant mentality of the major part of its followers and representatives, then we can firmly say this religion or ideology has experienced a cultural defeat. It has been completely cannibalized to the point where there is no more room for people who are looking to enjoy reflections and debates with significant human, social and political value and a real projection to practical applications. There is also very little room to tke the necessary distace to identify what has got wrong. How can we value the social problems caused by practices lile mutah if we cannot loo at fiqh from certain distance (that is, not being an ayatollah). If there isn't even room for the voices of regular followers with critical thinking, how will there be room for people like me, who come from a humanist background to begin with. There is no way this religion can convince us, but more impotantly, there is absolutely no reason for it. The main reason for most people has either been the comfortable answer to our existence and a matter of identity. I have already confronted and rebuilt both with influences of more valuable inspiration.

On 2/6/2021 at 4:56 PM, yasahebalzaman.313 said:

So lets talk about those who are in permanent marriage and do temporary marriages all the time how the wife would feel about that? Its halal but its ethically Wrong. This Need that a man has is like sleeping and eating if we excessively do it it will hurt us. Mutaa is halal does it mean men can indulge in 100 relatioships? Trust me those men are miserable already and they have taken their religion for fun. It talks in quran about them: 

As I said before, I left Islam mostly for social reasons (and Islam inability to cleanse itself from these). You will see hordes attacking me, for example, for being gay. It's not a sin, neither it's a sin to be open about these desires. I never celebrated them. But I have been systematically attacked or silenced if I dared to speak about homosexuality, in a respecteful manner, in Muslim environments. Do the same about mutah, it will happen the exact contrary. Do you really believe it's more harmful for a teenager to know there are people who are non-normative sexually speaking, or that it's normal for men to enjoy women in a very similar mentality of the so much criticized West by doing mutah sprees? My reality as homosexual (whether that's something you can change, even though there is no proof for that) is a Western evil invention, but their vices are sunnah. I didn't leave Islam because of the topic of homosexuality by the way. This was just an example of hypocrisy. I have been in many Islamic environments and have seen the worst cultural vices never attacked but rather defended by Islamic fiqh. This is what I talk about when I say that this has turned into the religion of fiqh and blind followers. Even if you can think Islam is also about akhlaq, this doesn't translate into amr bil ma3roof. You won't scold nor warn others about their actions because they are halal according to fiqh. But you will see, again, hordes telling me to do it better at becoming heterosexual (when there is no proof for that). This is the moral cowardice of a religion that cannot inspire bravery to tell a pig that he is, in fact, a pig.

And you are right, these topics are not as relevant as many others. For example, those who steal money. Here is my country, money from ayatolahs to build a decent mosque was stolen. No one except a few (among them, my brother and I) confronted the thief. We cry and cry and slap our stupid faces during Ashura, yet we lack the most basic elements that make a revolutionary soul. It's very easy to blame external influences and attacks, but very hard to grow some social self critique. You will see this in almost all Islamic movemets in recent history, and in the Muslim society overall. And even if external influences are real and significative, we can only work on changing ourselves right now.

 

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I think culture is a bad reason to leave a religion for. Sure culture in some Muslims countries is bad , but it doesn't Islamic culture. You could've started a social movement to promote more Islamic values and morals instead you found it easier to leave everything, contributing to the bad culture yourself. 

Mutah sprees are not allowed in fiqh either, mutah is a last resort to stop us from sinning, its not meant to be something casual. 

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On 2/19/2021 at 7:06 AM, smma said:

You could've started a social movement to promote more Islamic values and morals instead you found it easier to leave everything

I did try that, for quite some years, and deemed it extremely unefficient. I don't know if you have had enough debates with other Muslims on topics where Islam needs to be able to revisit itself, to reform itself, and even to condemn the silence of religious authorities. I did, mostly in my local community and also here in SC. You would find two problems:

- The systematic invocation of irrational religious texts to avoid rational debate, especially in social issues.

- The fear of opposition to what may be a genuine Islamic standpoint. If a random ayatollah supports a barbaric practice or belief, people are more doubtful to take a stand against it, doubting their own reasoning and morality to points where you cannot trust their honesty in any debate. They will be more concerned not to annoy God just in case, which is ridiculous. I doubt He wants us to be cowards at a moral level to this point, merely because certain despicable or barbaric idea or practice comes under the banner of Islam.

In that sense, I do believe in God, and that's why I doubt Islam, of at least the way its understood: dogmatic, unadaptable to the progress of humanity, silent against terrible social realities, uncapable or revisiting itself, and with religious authorities that are disconnected from the world they live in. A religion has its limits, and that's ok. Problem with Islam is that it's perceived as if it didn't have those limits, and people priorize Islam over other fields of knowledge to untolerable levels.

I'm not a Muslim anymore, yet I find in Islam a great inspiration for one's morality. My personal decision to take distance from Islam is not because it has failed to make me nearer to God, because it hasn't. Probably if I lived in a cave, I would still be Muslim in all its meanings. It has failed me at a social level, not because of culture or because of Muslims, but because Islam barely has tools to fight these.

On 4/15/2021 at 4:37 PM, Muhammed Ali said:

Do you still believe in God? What do you think about the founder of Islam? I sent you an email some time ago.

I'm sorry, I must have lost/missed the email :(. I do still believe in God, but my obligations are different. While Islam asked me to serve him in certain specific ways, I choose to serve him according to what reason and my contexts allows me and tells me. This is not serving him as I wish, or my nafs wish, but according to what my moral principles say. Islam focused a lot on Akhlaq and politics, but it didn't translate in politically active Muslims or Muslims who are examples or virtuous behaviour. Seemed like Islam was about praying, fasting and not drinking alcohol. While I absolutely find some of these very important (the discipline of prayers, the self-control of fasting, and the avoidance of drugs and harmful substances of any type), I think they may be useless if their benefits are not directed to a social change. Precisely these obligations are there to build a strong character who can really make a change in society, but we barely see that change. I'm not speaking of the West, but our own societies. They are filled to the top with filth and cruelty, and I'm honestly fed up of waiting for God's Justice in the hereafter and doing nothing in this life. This passivity kills me.

And you ask me about the founder of Islam. I would rather talk about that generation of Muslims. Even though I have my own critiques on early Islam, I believe that generation was evidently exemplary because it was politically and socially active. And we saw the potential that type of approach to Islam has. But we are far from being like that, and I lost my faith in the potential of Islam in the hands of today's Muslims. I don't think we can either inspire them through Islam.

It is, nonetheless, a great religion at a personal individual level, and I keep many of its teachings and obligations within my theist life.

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In the end, my goal in this life relies in social changes for the best of the majority. Work for others, serve others, and in the end, serve those beautiful values that come from God, keep them alive in society.

I stopped seeing Islam as an approach superior to Humanism to achieve that change in society.

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