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In the Name of God بسم الله

Is it wajib for husband to cook for wife?

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  • Advanced Member

Salam.

It is obligatory for a husband to provide naan nafaqa  to his wife. That includes providing food, shelter and clothing. In return, the wife is not duty bound to do anything for the husband, or the children, or the house except to provide intimacy to the husband when he demands. 

Going strictly by this rule, if the wife demands that she will not cook any food for the husband, and will not even cook food for her own self, and  instead demands that the husband either cooks for her, or brings her some take-away food or takes her for dinner to a restaurant, is her demand Islamically valid? If the husband brings all the raw ingredients for preparing food at home and asks the wife to cook for herself, can she still Islamically demand that the husband cooks for her (because it is he who is responsible to provide her food, it is not her duty to cook food for herself).

If this is correct, then the husband would have to come home from work everyday and then cook food for himself and his wife (and the children too, if they have any).

Marriages don't work like this because there has to be give-and-take, but the question is that whether the wife can Islamically exercise her right to demand that the husband cooks for her (every day) instead of she cooking for him? 

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It is obligatory for the husband to provide food. This does not mean that the wife can simply demand what she wants. As long as the husband gets a sufficient amount of food he has fulfilled his obligation. He is not required to cook or to get everything the wife asks for. In fact, it is recommended for the wife to be the one who cooks.

https://www.sistani.org/english/book/46/2062/

https://www.sistani.org/english/book/46/2065/

Edited by Muhammad Al-Hurr
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  • Advanced Member

A wife must obey her husband unless he asks her to do haram/ mukhroo or forbids her wajibat or mustahab.

Many verses/hadith for wife to obey.

If you say cook she should obey if she doesn't the fault is hers. (You can't force)

 

Edited by Warilla
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How can a relationship be governed by rules?  This looks like a contract to me.  Contracts are busness deals trying to get the best for myself.

Marriage is a relationship and should be based on commitment.  Commitment is about what can I do for the best of the other person.

If both parties to a marriage are commited to each other and committed to making the relationship work, rules and regulations and complying with edicts doesn't come into the discusion.

The only rule should be the rule of love - How can I give 100% for the best of the other.

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3 hours ago, Dave follower of The Way said:

This looks like a contract to me. 

Contracts existed in the time of the prophets which Jesus to did not abolish (Matthew 5:17). 
 

3 hours ago, Dave follower of The Way said:

Marriage is a relationship and should be based on commitment.  Commitment is about what can I do for the best of the other person.

When both parties sign on the contract that has been formed by themthey are promising to commit to each other. This contract is extremely flexible. 
 

 

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  • Advanced Member
On 1/11/2021 at 3:19 AM, Anonymous-Male said:

Salam.

It is obligatory for a husband to provide naan nafaqa  to his wife. That includes providing food, shelter and clothing. In return, the wife is not duty bound to do anything for the husband, or the children, or the house except to provide intimacy to the husband when he demands. 

Going strictly by this rule, if the wife demands that she will not cook any food for the husband, and will not even cook food for her own self, and  instead demands that the husband either cooks for her, or brings her some take-away food or takes her for dinner to a restaurant, is her demand Islamically valid? If the husband brings all the raw ingredients for preparing food at home and asks the wife to cook for herself, can she still Islamically demand that the husband cooks for her (because it is he who is responsible to provide her food, it is not her duty to cook food for herself).

If this is correct, then the husband would have to come home from work everyday and then cook food for himself and his wife (and the children too, if they have any).

Marriages don't work like this because there has to be give-and-take, but the question is that whether the wife can Islamically exercise her right to demand that the husband cooks for her (every day) instead of she cooking for him? 

A marriage always has to have balance, regardless. So yes, a man CAN cook, but again there needs to be 50/50. If he's at work, keeping a roof over the family's head, paying loans and debts, then the wife would take the responsibility of the house and vice versa. In fact, it is actually recommended for males to help with the affairs of the house; Imam Ali (عليه السلام) used to help Sayeda Fatima (عليه السلام) manage house duties.

 

On 1/11/2021 at 4:32 AM, Muhammad Al-Hurr said:

He is not required to cook or to get everything the wife asks for. In fact, it is recommended for the wife to be the one who cooks.

it is  recommended if he does

Imam Ali ((عليه السلام).) often helped Fatimah (s.a.) in the house affairs. He said, “Once, the messenger of Allah (S) visited us while Fatimah was near the cooking pot and I was picking out lentils. He said, ‘O Abul Hasan, listen to what I say, and I do not say except from my Lord. Every man, who helps his wife in her house, Allah will write for him as much as the hairs on his body (the reward of) worship of a year; fasting in the day and worshipping all the night, and Allah will give him like the reward of the patient and the righteous

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On 1/23/2021 at 2:49 PM, THREE1THREE said:

There are rules within pauline “Christian” contracts don’t beat around the bush now. 

The rule (contract if you like) of marriage which we find in Paul's writings say Ephesians 5

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church 

Jesus the Messiah loved his followers so much he was prepared to give everything to make it possible for them to be able to enter a relationship with God.

The husband takes this as an example and loves his wife so much that he will give 100% to help his wife become the full and rounded person she has the potential to be.  This may include cooking for her, do some house work, or shoping, if that will free his wife to achieve her potential.

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