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In the Name of God بسم الله

Bullying

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12 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

Have you guys ever been bullied before? Just curious.  

I was bullied. There was a in it my fault as well but a great fault was of the system that I blame for creating people with such attitudes. Since i am here until my post get deleted so I can share few experiences. 

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1 minute ago, Strange Samurai said:

But, it gave me strength to deal such people because before that I remained in fear then I saw fear and now I know fear and what you know, you can respond it well.

Yes that's a great point. Bullies always instill some sort of fear in others and paralyze them in a way. The best way is to detect them early on and to not let them manipulate you or take any advantage. But yeah, good how you've learnt something from this experience.

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1 minute ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Yes that's a great point. Bullies always instill some sort of fear in others and paralyze them in a way. The best way is to detect them early on and to not let them manipulate you or take any advantage. But yeah, good how you've learnt something from this experience.

It would have been better if my society had taught me Islam better. That was a calamity for me but I hope I will leave something for youth through Islam that how to be brave without experiencing a disaster. There are two kinds of training in this world: 1) Training which built a man like Chengiz khan from bad experience and he was a pure monster and 2) Training like Imam Hussain (عليه السلام) whose father raised him by teaching him Islam without allowing him to feel any disaster but was bravest of all in the history of martyrs. 

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@Strange Samurai You know what it feels like to be bullied, I'm sure you'll always treat people well and with kindness. Whenever we see anything ugly in others the best way to respond is to make sure that we don't have that trait.

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People have mentality which contradicts their own acts. While they hate that they should allow their children to be bitten by dog but let them loose to hurt themselves by the biting of society, they say let him be pushed and let him fall, he will know how to rise. That's not the way of teaching that's not what Islam says. Islam says know everything before putting hand in it, if you do not know keep away until you know lest you hurt yourself. Very few parents know about it. Have you seen any book on raising children psychologically with each stage of life. There are quotes of Ahlebait (عليه السلام) about it, but we do not know a book or no body knows how much important it is for society.

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Just now, ali_fatheroforphans said:

@Strange Samurai You know what it feels like to be bullied, I'm sure you'll always treat people well and with kindness. Whenever we see anything ugly in others the best way to respond is to make sure that we don't have that trait.

Agreed, I hate bullying. I do not have such trait except the traits what I learnt from Ahlebait (عليه السلام) to avoid them for life. 

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Every human is important for Allah (عزّ وجلّ) and also every animal even a tiny insect. I wish we may learn that how significant creation is for the Creator. I learned a quote which I recollect because of you, A saint said: "Finding faults in humans in as if finding faults in the art of Allah (عزّ وجلّ), unjustified mockery of his creation may anger Him immensely". So, I have learnt lessons, and I am afraid of His justice.

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8 minutes ago, Strange Samurai said:

Best response is no response at all. them in what they are, if they are remorseful on their conduct, good for their spirituality. If not then you should not be a witness to their destruction. 

Yes no point in arguing with a bully etc. But staying silent isn't always the best option. I think it's best to let someone know who can confront the bully if we choose to not do so.

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3 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Yes no point in arguing with a bully etc. But staying silent isn't always the best option. I think it's best to let someone know who can confront the bully if we choose to not do so.

Sometimes, you have no option due to lack of maturity or unawareness as I said it is matter of teaching the children about Islam. If I had the brain which I have now, I would have prevented them but no one taught me except Islamic books and Quran.

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1 hour ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

Have you guys ever been bullied before? Just curious.  

Yes. Long back in school. I handled it terribly I believe. It had a bad impact on my life. 

Thanks to Allah and thanks to Islam. It was my religion and the holy teachings that saved me. 

May Allah protect everyone from such scenarios. 

I believe the most vulnerable person for bullying is the one who has no real friends. 

May Allah help the one who has no friend. 

Surely Allah is the friend of the one who has no friend. 

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I think at some point all of us have. Growing up in a Sunni country, I got bullied for my "Shiah sound name" and admitting I'm a Shi'a in Grade 7-10. I handled it well. Don't stay silent. Go and confront them. If they are multiple people, challenge them all in whatever way they are challenging you. After that they either back down or they don't do it as much. Have courage. Luckily from me, this never happened after grade 10 as everyone was too concerned with haram activities than bully/ridicule anyone.

Wasalam.

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Yes. I was bullied a number of times back in school. I learnt that the best way is to get an adult (teacher or parents) involved. At other times, it’s important to respond and not show any weakness especially if it is physical bullying.

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3 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

Have you guys ever been bullied before? Just curious.  

It has never been physical bullying. But, with words, it has happened. I honestly don’t care what they say about me. Usually, I turn these types or bullies into friends. I ask them why they are bullying. Of course they answer ‘because I can.‘ But it’s not that. The reason people bully is because there is something wrong that he/she does not want to talk about. I ask them what’s wrong. Then we have a conversation, then we become friends.

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3 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

Have you guys ever been bullied before? Just curious.  

yes i was bullied too!

i always saw lots positivity in it.. and trough getting bullied i found allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى),and it made me stronger in life.

being bullied is actually a positive thing, the bully sees in you things which he is jealous at and tries to take it away from you (just like satan) thats why tose bullies always try to make you insecure and unhappy.. also most of them got bullied before and  don't want for. you to have a beautifull life.. 

a bully himself often has a kind of mental issues in it so that he wants someone else to destroy their status, they almost always have jealousy,hate,anger and many more stuff in them..

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3 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

Have you guys ever been bullied before? Just curious.  

Maybe I'm wrong but I feel like your doing this thread because of someone that has bullied you recently.

Yes, throughout childhood by my own family I was fatshamed. Now as a child i thought it was bullying, and even though their intentions as parents were because they were worried for my health, it was still wrong.

A bully's intention will always be wanting to make you feel insecure and put out their own insecurities on you, just to make themselves feel better. They want you to become vulnerable to their commentary. Parents on the other hand believe they're doing it for good intentions even though it is detrimental on the child's mental health.

Most of the time that I got bullied was in directed. Because of how sensitive I was that I'd be very emotional to everything and anyone, people chose to walk on eggshells around me. But yes, I've been bullied about my weight, my brows, just my appearance in general. I've been told to be a very boring person with no friends. Also I wasn't a social person so that made me feel worse. 

But people mostly bullied me because I was extremely sensitive and couldn't take a joke. 

Sometimes we just don't wanna associate ourselves with anyone, but isolation and solitude isn't something most people want either, not for a long period of time. 

 

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14 hours ago, 3wliya_maryam said:

Maybe I'm wrong but I feel like your doing this thread because of someone that has bullied you recently.

Well close enough cos my friend has been bullied at work and he was describing how much of a toll it had on his mental health. I've just been bullied by my HS teacher this one time, but not recently.

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On 12/10/2020 at 11:56 PM, F.M said:

being bullied is actually a positive thing, the bully sees in you things which he is jealous at and tries to take it away from you (just like satan)

Yes a lot of them do see things in others which they wish they'd have. Like an exanple can be a pleasant demeanor. I don't know why but bullies seem to pick on people who are gentle, reserved etc. They barely pick on people who are like them.

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On 12/10/2020 at 11:46 PM, Ansar Shiat Ali said:

Usually, I turn these types or bullies into friends. I ask them why they are bullying

That's actually possible. My best friend actually lowkey bullied me at one point, he turned out to be the nicest guy. But not all bullies can become friends, they can be draining and a waste of time. If they are narcissistic and have other mental issues, then best to avoid them. Being their therapist is not worth it, we can't change them.

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On 12/10/2020 at 11:43 PM, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

Have you guys ever been bullied before? Just curious.  

 

On 12/10/2020 at 11:43 PM, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

Have you guys ever been bullied before? Just curious.  

Salam

 

Unfortunately, yes. The worst is when it comes from family.

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23 hours ago, Guest Anon said:

The worst is when it comes from family.

This^ :( 

Trust me, something getting bullied by a stranger is better than getting bullied by a family member.

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In school I was bullied and beaten a lot. I was shorter than most, and shy and would never get back at people who troubled me so it made me an easy target. 

Thus I got into their friend circle but they continued to bully me but I'd still to back to them because they were popular and thought it was cool to be with them. 

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On 12/10/2020 at 7:43 AM, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

Have you guys ever been bullied before? Just curious.  

yes but I don't want to talk about it because I don't enjoy the memory.

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