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In the Name of God بسم الله

Istikhara

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  • Advanced Member
3 hours ago, Zainuu said:

Salaam Marzii, 

I knew that it would happen. No worries Sister.

Below is the answer of Sayyed Al Sistani (RA):

When is it good or necessary to see an Istikhara?

Answer: Istikhara is done when you are confused and perplexed. One must first of all consult experts or wise individuals to see if he can reach a decision. If after seeking experts' advice he still remains confused, he can then do Istikhara. You must know that when an act is good in itself, there is no need to make Istikhara for it.

It clearly says: 'When you are confused'. Whereas in your case, you are not confused. You love that person and you have made your position. You are just subject to some negative thoughts.  

I talked to one of my friends who knows a lot about all this. He said that the condition to do an istekhara is not met. He said that you can go against it.

If you think that you are doing something wrong by not following the Istekhara, give some money as  Sadaqah. Sadaqah would definitely repel all the negativity about Istekhara. 

So, in short:

Give Sadaqah and go against the Istekhara. 

May Allah bless you and don't apologise for asking. I would insist you to ask, whenever you feel necessary. 

May Allah protect your relationship. 

Salam, thank you so much for your support... Please pray to Allah for me... I'm getting really bad intrusive thoughts.. I don't know if I'll ever be happy with him after marriage also.. :(

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Just now, Marzii said:

I don't know if I'll ever be happy with him after marriage also.. :(

Salaam sister, 

Have you started to practice the above advises?

Take them seriously. It is all my experience. Their are even more ways but I haven't tried them myself so cannot suggest. And don't worry my prayers are with you. I fasted today and also prayed for you. 

Just stay strong. Open up in terms of communication. Busy yourself in work and prayers. Also, talk to that person (keeping in mind the Islamic conduct), it will increase your confidence in him and this relationship.

Allah is the guide. 

If you take one step towards Allah, he will take 10 steps towards you.

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26 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

Salaam sister, 

Have you started to practice the above advises?

Take them seriously. It is all my experience. Their are even more ways but I haven't tried them myself so cannot suggest. And don't worry my prayers are with you. I fasted today and also prayed for you. 

Just stay strong. Open up in terms of communication. Busy yourself in work and prayers. Also, talk to that person (keeping in mind the Islamic conduct), it will increase your confidence in him and this relationship.

Allah is the guide. 

If you take one step towards Allah, he will take 10 steps towards you.

Thank you... For answering.. I always try to practice the advises.. Please pray for me:(

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On 12/2/2020 at 3:54 AM, Marzii said:

Salam alaikum everyone, 

I want to share with you all a problem that I am having. And if I can get any solutions about it.  I am engaged to a person who I know for 8 years or since childhood and I truly adore him. But, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder and I tend to have intrusive thoughts about him about him having bad character and all these things. Whenever I get these thoughts I get anxious and desperate to find an answer which is the compulsion part ofy disease. In this compulsion I tend to do istekhara to know whether I should marry him or not whether he is good for me Or not and all this. I have done it multiple times and everytime the answer came back good. But this time I did it and it came bad. I know that doing istekhara is the last resort but in my ocd desperation I tend to do it compulsively to find an answer. I really love him and he is perfect for me. Also I did the istekhara with the intention that I will not follow it if it comes out bad. I also didn't want to do it but in the duas.org website it was written that following the istekhara was optional and not compulsory, so I did it assuming it would not have any bad consequences if I did not follow it. I also did istekhara a few months ago and the result came good. I am now not sure if this istikhara that I did is valid because I did not had the intention of following it and I somewhat misunderstood what was written on the website. Can I forego this istekhara? Because I know I have done it out of my compulsive behavior due to my disease. Also my intention I think was not correct I intended not to follow it if it came bad and then did the istekhara. 

Please help



Salamo Aleykom sister listen carefully


You are clearly suffering from OCD. Therefore remember. Ahlulbayt (عليه السلام) has even told people to not give attention to their OCD even in prayer, wuzu and other stuff. Therefore do not get worried because of the outcome that istakharah because the intention wasnt right and as you said you did it out of OCD. InshAllah it is not valid anyway. Do not worry and if that person is a momin with good akhlaaq, just marry him.


At the same time listen to this this it important:

You have to understand what OCD is and how to get treatment for this. To get relief from OCD is inshAllah quite simple but you have to make a change. You have to just stop acting on what your fear OCD tells you to do. Remember it`s not real and it`s whispering of the devil only to create anxiety in you and God-forbid destoy your life. What you have to do is almost the opposite of this. Next time the thought comes to you dont give it any attention at all and just continue your dailiy tasks without even thinking more about it. It will be hard but do not do what it asks from you. Remember that if you do this some times that OCD will inshAllah go away and you will be free from this pain inshAllah.


 

One among the Aimmah (عليه السلام) has said fallowing about OCD
 

"In al-Kafi, (al-Kulayni reports) with his isnad from Zurarah and Abu Basir that they said: We asked him (i.e. Imam al-Baqir or Imam al-Sadiq [A]) about a man who had frequent doubts in his salat, to the extent that he wouldn’t know how much he has offered and how much remain to be offered. He said, “He should repeat (the salat).” We said to him, “That happens to him a lot and wherever he repeats his doubt also recurs.” The Imam said, “(In that case) he should ignore his doubt.” Then, he added, “Don’t let the Evil One get accustomed to haunting you by tempting him by breaking the salat. For Satan is wicked and gets accustomed to that which he is allowed to get used to. So when one of you does not pay attention to his doubt and does not break his salat frequently, and this is done a number of times, the doubt will not recur to him.” Zurarah says: Then the Imam added, “The Evil One wants to be obeyed, and when he is disobeyed he will not return to any of you.”

(Book: Forty hadith by Imam Khomeini)

 

It`s inshAllah the same with istikharahs and all those thoughts you are beeing pained with. They aren`t through and this is all work of the devil the cursed one. Therefore from now on sister. Make a FIRM decision to NOT give the less intention to those thoughts. The first times it may feel very very real and unformfortable and you may feel very bad by not obeying those thoughts... but remember that`s where you break through out of it inshAllah. And then after ignoring them some times you will be free inshAllah.  One more imporant thing. Ask your doctor to send you to a psychiatrist who practice exactly this type of treatment called: "Exposure and respons prevention" of OCD."  They are experts on this and the cure is inshAllah quite simple. Here is a video on it. A good one. You have to see all of these clips and act on it with wholeheartedly inshAllah

 

May Allah cure you soon with the best shifaa in the name of Imam Ali Ibn Musa Al-Ridha (عليه السلام)


Here is your link remember me in your dua sister


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJp9vlp84Wk

 

 

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