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In the Name of God بسم الله

Istikhara

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Salam alaikum everyone, 

I want to share with you all a problem that I am having. And if I can get any solutions about it.  I am engaged to a person who I know for 8 years or since childhood and I truly adore him. But, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder and I tend to have intrusive thoughts about him about him having bad character and all these things. Whenever I get these thoughts I get anxious and desperate to find an answer which is the compulsion part ofy disease. In this compulsion I tend to do istekhara to know whether I should marry him or not whether he is good for me Or not and all this. I have done it multiple times and everytime the answer came back good. But this time I did it and it came bad. I know that doing istekhara is the last resort but in my ocd desperation I tend to do it compulsively to find an answer. I really love him and he is perfect for me. Also I did the istekhara with the intention that I will not follow it if it comes out bad. I also didn't want to do it but in the duas.org website it was written that following the istekhara was optional and not compulsory, so I did it assuming it would not have any bad consequences if I did not follow it. I also did istekhara a few months ago and the result came good. I am now not sure if this istikhara that I did is valid because I did not had the intention of following it and I somewhat misunderstood what was written on the website. Can I forego this istekhara? Because I know I have done it out of my compulsive behavior due to my disease. Also my intention I think was not correct I intended not to follow it if it came bad and then did the istekhara. 

Please help

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1 hour ago, Marzii said:

Salam alaikum everyone, 

I want to share with you all a problem that I am having. And if I can get any solutions about it.  I am engaged to a person who I know for 8 years or since childhood and I truly adore him. But, I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder and I tend to have intrusive thoughts about him about him having bad character and all these things. Whenever I get these thoughts I get anxious and desperate to find an answer which is the compulsion part ofy disease. In this compulsion I tend to do istekhara to know whether I should marry him or not whether he is good for me Or not and all this. I have done it multiple times and everytime the answer came back good. But this time I did it and it came bad. I know that doing istekhara is the last resort but in my ocd desperation I tend to do it compulsively to find an answer. I really love him and he is perfect for me. Also I did the istekhara with the intention that I will not follow it if it comes out bad. I also didn't want to do it but in the duas.org website it was written that following the istekhara was optional and not compulsory, so I did it assuming it would not have any bad consequences if I did not follow it. I also did istekhara a few months ago and the result came good. I am now not sure if this istikhara that I did is valid because I did not had the intention of following it and I somewhat misunderstood what was written on the website. Can I forego this istekhara? Because I know I have done it out of my compulsive behavior due to my disease. Also my intention I think was not correct I intended not to follow it if it came bad and then did the istekhara. 

Please help

Salaam sister,

Please ignore this istekhara. And don't do it again. The situation you described is not appropriate for doing an istekhara. Istekhara is done when nothing is clear about what you have to do. In an istekhara, Allah just makes the right way clear to you. If you love him and adore him so much. If you have already said before doing the istekhara that if it comes bad, you won't accept it then basically you have already made up your mind and now only doubts and waswasa is coming to your mind. 

Don't do istekhara in this situation. All is clear to you. In case you face this ocd, maybe have a delightful talk with someone close to you or maybe that person only (do take care of cautions while talking to a non-mehram). 

Or supplicate to Allah. Allah is always available and always accepting. If you do recite a dua or just sit and speak to Allah or write something as your expression to Allah, I am sure you will feel a lot comfortable. 

You are suffering from an issue of doubts. It has nothing t OK do with your relationship, stay happy. 

May Allah bless you.. May Allah help you and May Allah protect you. 

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2 hours ago, Zainuu said:

Salaam sister,

Please ignore this istekhara. And don't do it again. The situation you described is not appropriate for doing an istekhara. Istekhara is done when nothing is clear about what you have to do. In an istekhara, Allah just makes the right way clear to you. If you love him and adore him so much. If you have already said before doing the istekhara that if it comes bad, you won't accept it then basically you have already made up your mind and now only doubts and waswasa is coming to your mind. 

Don't do istekhara in this situation. All is clear to you. In case you face this ocd, maybe have a delightful talk with someone close to you or maybe that person only (do take care of cautions while talking to a non-mehram). 

Or supplicate to Allah. Allah is always available and always accepting. If you do recite a dua or just sit and speak to Allah or write something as your expression to Allah, I am sure you will feel a lot comfortable. 

You are suffering from an issue of doubts. It has nothing t OK do with your relationship, stay happy. 

May Allah bless you.. May Allah help you and May Allah protect you. 

Alaikum Salam brother, 

Are you sure that i should forego this istekhara? I did it impusively without thinking it was as if it a satanic thought came to my mind 'should I marry him or not"and I performed the istikhara without even thinking once but I know in my heart I want to marry him I love him. Will anything bad happen if I forego this istekhara? I'm having intrusive thoughts about it... About everything since yesterday. I even said before doing the istikhara that I am not doing it out of any compulsion of my ocd but I know that I have done it because of that only. I wanted an urgent answer to stop my intrusive thoughts that's it... Please help me please

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15 minutes ago, Marzii said:

Alaikum Salam brother, 

Are you sure that i should forego this istekhara? I did it impusively without thinking it was as if it a satanic thought came to my mind 'should I marry him or not"and I performed the istikhara without even thinking once but I know in my heart I want to marry him I love him. Will anything bad happen if I forego this istekhara? I'm having intrusive thoughts about it... About everything since yesterday. I even said before doing the istikhara that I am not doing it out of any compulsion of my ocd but I know that I have done it because of that only. I wanted an urgent answer to stop my intrusive thoughts that's it... Please help me please

Salaam sister, 

Yes yes I am damn sure. Don't do it. 

Firstly, Istekhara (if required) is done just 1 or 2 times. You should not make it an everytime thing. 

Whatever negative thoughts you are getting, these thoughts are making you do so and you just said. You sound confused. You already said over here that you love him and within your heart you want him only. 

Imam Jaffer al Sadiq (عليه السلام) has said, "If you doubt the sincerity of a person, just ask your heart."

Their are so many hadith that urge to stay positive and hold positive opinions as much as possible. 

Don't doubt and don't believe in this istekhara. Logically speaking, you did istekhara many times and it came out positive. Aren't you doubting the path that Allah is showing you by doing it again and again? Didn't you reject one istekhara, by doing it again? 

Not offending you but I would say you to repent. Because you are doing it again and again which means you didn't believe the istekhara many times before. 

Pray to Allah and seek his refuge from the deviations of Satan.

May Allah bless you and protect you from deviations.

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26 minutes ago, Marzii said:

Alaikum Salam brother, 

Are you sure that i should forego this istekhara? I did it impusively without thinking it was as if it a satanic thought came to my mind 'should I marry him or not"and I performed the istikhara without even thinking once but I know in my heart I want to marry him I love him. Will anything bad happen if I forego this istekhara? I'm having intrusive thoughts about it... About everything since yesterday. I even said before doing the istikhara that I am not doing it out of any compulsion of my ocd but I know that I have done it because of that only. I wanted an urgent answer to stop my intrusive thoughts that's it... Please help me please

what is the need to do istekhara, if you know him! Istekhara is done for things unknown and secondly its interpretation is so tricky that it is not suitable for layman or an ordinary person if u know him and he is good then do not give space to your ill thoughts just marry and pray to Allah (S).

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18 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

Salaam sister, 

Yes yes I am damn sure. Don't do it. 

Firstly, Istekhara (if required) is done just 1 or 2 times. You should not make it an everytime thing. 

Whatever negative thoughts you are getting, these thoughts are making you do so and you just said. You sound confused. You already said over here that you love him and within your heart you want him only. 

Imam Jaffer al Sadiq (عليه السلام) has said, "If you doubt the sincerity of a person, just ask your heart."

Their are so many hadith that urge to stay positive and hold positive opinions as much as possible. 

Don't doubt and don't believe in this istekhara. Logically speaking, you did istekhara many times and it came out positive. Aren't you doubting the path that Allah is showing you by doing it again and again? Didn't you reject one istekhara, by doing it again? 

Not offending you but I would say you to repent. Because you are doing it again and again which means you didn't believe the istekhara many times before. 

Pray to Allah and seek his refuge from the deviations of Satan.

May Allah bless you and protect you from deviations.

Alaikum Salam brother, 

I just wanted to clarify that other times I did istekhara related to ky relationship only with the intentions like is he good for me? Is this relationship right for me? 

I do not remember if I did istekhara directly asking if I should marry him or not. This is making me doubt that this time is the true istikhara. 

But I did this istikhara without thinking and with the intention of not following it if it comes bad because I knew in my heart that I wanted him. Should I just pray to Allah to help me and not believe in this istekhara? 

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I am basically asking that if I knew I wanted to do something and yet out of ignorance I did istekhara and it came out bad.. Can I forego this istekhara? Also I had the intention that I will not follow the istikhara if comes bad... And I guess this intention is not correct for doing istekhara so the whole thing becomes invalid? 

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I'm really really sorry I'm asking so many questions my ocd is telling me that you did this istekhara now you are ruined for life and you will not be happy because you will go against Allah's will if you marry him.... I'm really scared

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34 minutes ago, Marzii said:

But I did this istikhara without thinking and with the intention of not following it if it comes bad because I knew in my heart that I wanted him. Should I just pray to Allah to help me and not believe in this istekhara? 

Salaam Marzii, 

May Allah protect you. 

You are literally overthinking, confusing yourself and doubting a lot. 

Lete put it in points. You should not follow this istekhara because:

1. In your heart, you already want him and Istekhara has no use because you have made your position clear.

2. You are scared whereas while doing istekhara, you need to be sure that whatever comes, you will follow.

3. you are not willing to accept anything if it comes bad so it makes the intention wrong and the istekhara is invalid. 

4. You did an istekhara about 'is he good for you or not?' or 'is this relationship right?'. Their is no difference in the internal meaning between these istekharas and the one which came bad. 

Now points regarding what you should do:

1. Pray to Allah and thank Allah for his blessings. Doing Shukr removes doubts. 

2. Go for that person and don't overthink so much. He is right for you. Thank Allah for his blessing. Consolidate your relationship with him. Try to marry as soon as possible. 

3. Whenever doubts come to your mind about him, either talk to him or just keep an understanding within your heart that it is your OCD and deviation tactic of Satan. 

4. Be discrete and logical rather than emotional and superstitious. He is good as long as their is no strong evidence against his goodness. 

5. Whenever it comes to your mind a doubt regarding him. Ask yourself a proof. If you don't get one, ignore. If it still comes, recite a short dua or some dhikr to remember Allah. 

6. Remember this quote of Imam as Sadiq (عليه السلام) always, "If you doubt the sincerity of a person, ask your heart"[These lines have helped me a lot]. If your heart says he is good, believe it. 

 

May Allah protect you, guide you and save your relationship from the deviations of Satan. 

I will pray for you in this context. 

Do you need more help? 

Edited by Zainuu
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30 minutes ago, Marzii said:

I'm really really sorry I'm asking so many questions my ocd is telling me that you did this istekhara now you are ruined for life and you will not be happy because you will go against Allah's will if you marry him.... I'm really scared

Don't be scared and I strictly recommend that don't do any istekhara in future too. You will create only problems for yoursekf by doing so.

I did an istekhara, my conditions were much valid for an istekhara but it gave me a wrong result. Because the situation was still not appropriate to do an istekhara. 

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26 minutes ago, Marzii said:

I'm really really sorry I'm asking so many questions my ocd is telling me that you did this istekhara now you are ruined for life and you will not be happy because you will go against Allah's will if you marry him.... I'm really scared

My dear sister it is gross injustice committed by us to think of Allah (s) negatively. One of most beautiful thing about him is that he is so merciful for his unhealthy creation that he never minds about their mistakes while committed unintentionally and due to inability to control oneself. 

Sister these things in your mind are satanic so ignore them and control your ocd after marriage as well lest you make your husband's life miserable by doubting him unnecessarily. 

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15 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

Salaam Marzii, 

May Allah protect you. 

You are literally overthinking, confusing yourself and doubting a lot. 

Lete put it in points. You should not follow this istekhara because:

1. In your heart, you already want him and Istekhara has no use because you have made your position clear.

2. You are scared whereas while doing istekhara, you need to be sure that whatever comes, you will follow.

3. you are not willing to accept anything if it comes bad so it makes the intention wrong and the istekhara is invalid. 

4. You did an istekhara about 'is he good for you or not?' or 'is this relationship right?'. Their is no difference in the internal meaning between these istekharas and the one which came bad. 

Now points regarding what you should do:

1. Pray to Allah and thank Allah for his blessings. Doing Shukr removes doubts. 

2. Go for that person and don't overthink so much. He is right for you. Thank Allah for his blessing. Consolidate your relationship with him. Try to marry as soon as possible. 

3. Whenever doubts come to your mind about him, either talk to him or just keep an understanding within your heart that it is your OCD and deviation tactic of Satan. 

4. Be discrete and logical rather than emotional and superstitious. He is good as long as their is no strong evidence against his goodness. 

5. Whenever it comes to your mind a doubt regarding him. Ask yourself a proof. If you don't get one, ignore. If it still comes, recite a short dua or some dhikr to remember Allah. 

6. Remember this quote of Imam as Sadiq (عليه السلام) always, "If you doubt the sincerity of a person, ask your heart"[These lines have helped me a lot]. If your heart says he is good, believe it. 

 

May Allah protect you, guide you and save your relationship from the deviations of Satan. 

I will pray for you in this context. 

Do you need more help? 

Thank you so much brother for clearing my doubts I'm so thankful to Allah and to you too. I pray that you remain always happy insha Allah

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14 minutes ago, Guest Ayn said:

My dear sister it is gross injustice committed by us to think of Allah (s) negatively. One of most beautiful thing about him is that he is so merciful for his unhealthy creation that he never minds about their mistakes while committed unintentionally and due to inability to control oneself. 

Sister these things in your mind are satanic so ignore them and control your ocd after marriage as well lest you make your husband's life miserable by doubting him unnecessarily. 

Thank you so much for replying and showing concern... Plz do pray for my health and my marriage to him insha Allah

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6 minutes ago, Marzii said:

Thank you so much brother for clearing my doubts I'm so thankful to Allah and to you too. I pray that you remain always happy insha Allah

Thank to Allah. Being thankful will show you the positive outlook. 

When you will be thankful, you will be able to see what Allah has blessed you with. 

My prayers for you. If you need more advices, you can always ask. 

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3 hours ago, Marzii said:

Thank you so much for replying and showing concern... Plz do pray for my health and my marriage to him insha Allah

You will be alright. OCD is blessing in disguise but remember two things about it:

1. Never think that Allah (s) is unjust or want his creation to suffer or orders for evil

2. Do not let OCD question truthfulness of Islam if it causes then ask a good Alim and remember that an alim may fail to answer or a person who appears alim is not alim but want people be their follower but do not get disappointed because eventually Allah (s) will answer you either through a good Alim or ordinary human or child or animal or idea in your mind or by inanimate things around you.

3. Its responsibility of your future husband to protect you and so is your responsibilty to protect your husband from other women, his own bad habits and laziness in faith. But, be not suspicious about him unnecessarily if there is no reason for it on surface.

Wish u best of luck

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6 hours ago, Zainuu said:

Thank to Allah. Being thankful will show you the positive outlook. 

When you will be thankful, you will be able to see what Allah has blessed you with. 

My prayers for you. If you need more advices, you can always ask. 

Salam brother.. Thank you so much for your advices so far, I am still getting this intrusive thought that this istikhara is correct , leave him, etc etc... But i know that it is not correct because my intention was not correct while doing it... Please pray for my ease and pray that i rely on Allah and marry my fiancee rather than depending on this istikhara. 

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3 hours ago, Guest Ayn said:

You will be alright. OCD is blessing in disguise but remember two things about it:

1. Never think that Allah (s) is unjust or want his creation to suffer or orders for evil

2. Do not let OCD question truthfulness of Islam if it causes then ask a good Alim and remember that an alim may fail to answer or a person who appears alim is not alim but want people be their follower but do not get disappointed because eventually Allah (s) will answer you either through a good Alim or ordinary human or child or animal or idea in your mind or by inanimate things around you.

3. Its responsibility of your future husband to protect you and so is your responsibilty to protect your husband from other women, his own bad habits and laziness in faith. But, be not suspicious about him unnecessarily if there is no reason for it on surface.

Wish u best of luck

Salam, thank you so much for your inputs... My intrusive thoughts are really bad they can make me do anything in order to break my relationship but i will fight insha allah and not rely on this istikhara. 

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1 hour ago, Marzii said:

Salam brother.. Thank you so much for your advices so far, I am still getting this intrusive thought that this istikhara is correct , leave him, etc etc... But i know that it is not correct because my intention was not correct while doing it... Please pray for my ease and pray that i rely on Allah and marry my fiancee rather than depending on this istikhara. 

Salaam Sister, 

Good. Mashallah. This is Jihad un Nafs for you (Jihad against the self).

The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) has said that it is the greatest Jihad. 

I am praying for you. Inshallah you will be able to repel them. 

Also, Remember one thing that don't get tired while repelling such thoughts. 

They can be ignored, neglected or nminimized but you cannot eliminate them. So, don't become hopeless at any point. 

In fact, this is a blessing in disguise. It is an enemy, fighting with whom you'll improve. 

I am fighting from my negative thoughts from atleast 6 years now. And whatever I did to get away with this, all my efforts have helped me gain new skills, acquire tons of knowledge, explore a lot of new things. 

May Allah bless you and help you. 

May Allah protect you from any deviation and secure your relationship. 

Whenever you need any advice, you can say it. 

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2 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

Salaam Sister, 

Good. Mashallah. This is Jihad un Nafs for you (Jihad against the self).

The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) has said that it is the greatest Jihad. 

I am praying for you. Inshallah you will be able to repel them. 

Also, Remember one thing that don't get tired while repelling such thoughts. 

They can be ignored, neglected or nminimized but you cannot eliminate them. So, don't become hopeless at any point. 

In fact, this is a blessing in disguise. It is an enemy, fighting with whom you'll improve. 

I am fighting from my negative thoughts from atleast 6 years now. And whatever I did to get away with this, all my efforts have helped me gain new skills, acquire tons of knowledge, explore a lot of new things. 

May Allah bless you and help you. 

May Allah protect you from any deviation and secure your relationship. 

Whenever you need any advice, you can say it. 

Thank you so much brother.. 

And sorry for asking a personal question but do you also have ocd or suffer from intrusive thoughts? 

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1 hour ago, Marzii said:

Salam, thank you so much for your inputs... My intrusive thoughts are really bad they can make me do anything in order to break my relationship but i will fight insha allah and not rely on this istikhara. 

wow lolz, another istekhara thread. let me ask you some questions. is the guy a good one ? tell me about his mother, his friends, his activities like hobbies etc. I might help you to tell about his personality got a course in psychology. If you wish to.

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9 minutes ago, Marzii said:

Ohh so sorry to hear it.. You do know then what kind of a living hell it is.... May Allah keep you healthy insha allah

Yes, but I have learnt to fight it myself. I completely believe sister. And trust me, You will not see it as a problem, once you learnt to fight it. 

What all I am advicing you is my own experience. 

I guarantee that you have less people to talk. Also, you might have a lot of free time. Even if not, I am sure, these thoughts take a lot of time of yours. 

Also, I can say definitely that while sleeping as well as after waking up, they strike you immediately. 

Am I correct with my observation?

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2 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

Yes, but I have learnt to fight it myself. I completely believe sister. And trust me, You will not see it as a problem, once you learnt to fight it. 

What all I am advicing you is my own experience. 

I guarantee that you have less people to talk. Also, you might have a lot of free time. Even if not, I am sure, these thoughts take a lot of time of yours. 

Also, I can say definitely that while sleeping as well as after waking up, they strike you immediately. 

Am I correct with my observation?

Yes brother... Your every point is correct, it's as if you know me personally

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@Marzii By the way, I got laughter at your last Istekhara which says "not to marry", who knows that Allah (S) want him to save from your doubts before you kill him with istekhara if he is interested in other women or so. Please change your habits, if he is good boy, Allah (عزّ وجلّ) does not loves only you but He (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has also created him so He (عزّ وجلّ) also wants welfare for him. 

Do not make your life so hard.

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10 minutes ago, Marzii said:

Yes brother... Your every point is correct, it's as if you know me personally

So Marzii, some recommendations from my end:

1. Supplications are your best friend. Always stay connected with them. I am suggesting some: (crucial ones are in bold)

Dua Ahad

Dua Mashlool 

Dua Kumayl

Munajaat of Imam Ali 

Dua Faraj (Ilahi Azumal Bala)

Their are plenty of supplications in Sahifa al Sajjadiya. All are good so I won't provide any specifics. 

2. Try to talk to people you know. I would definitely ask you to stay connected with your fioncee. (Do remember the guidelines when talking to a non-mehram). You can even share with me if you want to. I will not mind. 

3. What are your hobbies? It's important to make yourself busy by utilising your time. Your hobbies are the best suitable way to utilize time. You will feel motivated instead of feeling down.

Whatever works you do at home or office, try to focus on it. 

May Allah bless you and help you. 

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28 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

So Marzii, some recommendations from my end:

1. Supplications are your best friend. Always stay connected with them. I am suggesting some: (crucial ones are in bold)

Dua Ahad

Dua Mashlool 

Dua Kumayl

Munajaat of Imam Ali 

Dua Faraj (Ilahi Azumal Bala)

Their are plenty of supplications in Sahifa al Sajjadiya. All are good so I won't provide any specifics. 

2. Try to talk to people you know. I would definitely ask you to stay connected with your fioncee. (Do remember the guidelines when talking to a non-mehram). You can even share with me if you want to. I will not mind. 

3. What are your hobbies? It's important to make yourself busy by utilising your time. Your hobbies are the best suitable way to utilize time. You will feel motivated instead of feeling down.

Whatever works you do at home or office, try to focus on it. 

May Allah bless you and help you. 

Thank you so much for your suggestions... I value them highly... And will try to follow them to my best of efforts... May allah bless you and thank you

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16 hours ago, Zainuu said:

So Marzii, some recommendations from my end:

1. Supplications are your best friend. Always stay connected with them. I am suggesting some: (crucial ones are in bold)

Dua Ahad

Dua Mashlool 

Dua Kumayl

Munajaat of Imam Ali 

Dua Faraj (Ilahi Azumal Bala)

Their are plenty of supplications in Sahifa al Sajjadiya. All are good so I won't provide any specifics. 

2. Try to talk to people you know. I would definitely ask you to stay connected with your fioncee. (Do remember the guidelines when talking to a non-mehram). You can even share with me if you want to. I will not mind. 

3. What are your hobbies? It's important to make yourself busy by utilising your time. Your hobbies are the best suitable way to utilize time. You will feel motivated instead of feeling down.

Whatever works you do at home or office, try to focus on it. 

May Allah bless you and help you. 

Salam brother, 

I'm having intrusive thoughts again... Are you really sure that this istikhara was not valid? I'm getting thoughts like "so what if your intention was to not follow it if it came bad, you have done it now you will have to follow it otherwise bad things will happen in your marriage" I'm really sorry for troubling you with my thoughts... Please help me... Can you ask any scholar or someone like that if this istekhara is valid or not? 

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35 minutes ago, Marzii said:

Salam brother, 

I'm having intrusive thoughts again... Are you really sure that this istikhara was not valid? I'm getting thoughts like "so what if your intention was to not follow it if it came bad, you have done it now you will have to follow it otherwise bad things will happen in your marriage" I'm really sorry for troubling you with my thoughts... Please help me... Can you ask any scholar or someone like that if this istekhara is valid or not? 

Salaam Marzii, 

I knew that it would happen. No worries Sister.

Below is the answer of Sayyed Al Sistani (RA):

When is it good or necessary to see an Istikhara?

Answer: Istikhara is done when you are confused and perplexed. One must first of all consult experts or wise individuals to see if he can reach a decision. If after seeking experts' advice he still remains confused, he can then do Istikhara. You must know that when an act is good in itself, there is no need to make Istikhara for it.

It clearly says: 'When you are confused'. Whereas in your case, you are not confused. You love that person and you have made your position. You are just subject to some negative thoughts.  

I talked to one of my friends who knows a lot about all this. He said that the condition to do an istekhara is not met. He said that you can go against it.

If you think that you are doing something wrong by not following the Istekhara, give some money as  Sadaqah. Sadaqah would definitely repel all the negativity about Istekhara. 

So, in short:

Give Sadaqah and go against the Istekhara. 

May Allah bless you and don't apologise for asking. I would insist you to ask, whenever you feel necessary. 

May Allah protect your relationship. 

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55 minutes ago, Marzii said:

Salam brother, 

I'm having intrusive thoughts again... Are you really sure that this istikhara was not valid? I'm getting thoughts like "so what if your intention was to not follow it if it came bad, you have done it now you will have to follow it otherwise bad things will happen in your marriage" I'm really sorry for troubling you with my thoughts... Please help me... Can you ask any scholar or someone like that if this istekhara is valid or not? 

One more thing I will add. 

Your problem is not istekhara. Your problem is these negative intrusive thoughts. Don't bother them. 

Istekhara is just an excuse. If this is rectified, you will get something else. It will keep on coming so don't give up. 

Have Patience.

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