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In the Name of God بسم الله

Hijab - daughter doesn't want to wear anymore

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Salam aleikom. My daughter she’s nearly 16 and she doesn’t want to wear anymore the hijab.She’s wearing from the age of 10.I did talk to her, beg her, you name it, she doesn’t want to wear it.Please advises. Ma saalama 

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If you can take her to an Islamic country, I recommend doing so, have her enjoy living in a community where Hijab is seen as a virtue not a sign of oppression she will begin to perceive the true value

Males and Females don't have 'equal rights' I don't know where you are getting this from, the Shariah deals with both genders differently. The ruling towards a male may at times be more strict then th

Yes it is sad to say the least. Of course there are satanic agendas all over the place, and extremes in all directions. It is sad and the whole baphomet androgenous thing is sad. The theory many

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Wa alaikum as salam

Pressuring her into wearing it when she doesn't want to isn't really a good idea. 

The important thing is that it should come from within. You have tried to encourage her, beyond that I don't think there is more to be done. 

Perhaps with time she will re evaluate her position. 

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21 hours ago, Guest Dunia said:

Salam aleikom. My daughter she’s nearly 16 and she doesn’t want to wear anymore the hijab.She’s wearing from the age of 10.I did talk to her, beg her, you name it, she doesn’t want to wear it.Please advises. Ma saalama 

Salaam,

Make her follow the other Islamic obligations which she can easily follow. Do make your home environment religious through Quran recitation. Do make her pray at right time, fast sincerely in Ramdaan. Make her attend majlis and listen to a good scholar. See if her friends and companions are good people. What kind of company she has. If she will stay away from sins and follow the basic Islamic practices with sincerity, no one can stop her from doing hijab. In fact, she will love it. Also, explain the importance and need of Hijab in her practical life. When something becomes a necessity for a person. He/she will follow.

 

May Allah bless you and guide your daughter to the path of haq.

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Salam aleikom dear brothers and sisters and thank you very much for your answers. First of all I will give you some information about myself. I am a revert married with a born arab Muslim.From the beginning of my marriage I did start to wear hijab, we took her to Saturday Arabic school.At home she was praying and us like her parents as well praying, fasting, praying salah layl, praying on time.My daughter she’s attending a English school just for girls and before the lockdown she started to take her hijab off at school without us knowing.Her friends are Muslims but without hijab but they are practicing the deen. In the meantime I will like to see a sayed regarding this matter.Thank you very much.Plz if you know a sayed I can text him i will be grateful.Plz keep us in your prayers.Ma saalama 

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A teenager is nearly adult. You can't force her, you can only teach her, give her unconditional love, and pray for her. 

What are her reasons for not wanting to wear hijab? Can you alleviate those reasons? Perhaps she simply wants to "fit in", but it is possible that she is being bullied. 

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I know times are quite difficult to opt for this route, however, if it is possible I recommend going back home (I presume you're originally from an Islamic country) for at least 2-3 months I believe such an environment will help her with the conflicting identity crisis she is having. Make sure she makes good friends there and that they keep in contact.

If that is not a possibility see if you can get a respected community member/scholar to speak with her and address her issues.

Important questions to raise are:

Do you believe that Hijab is obligatory? 

Why do you want to stop wearing Hijab? 

Do you think that removing the Hijab will make you more happy, and if so why is that? 

What will you gain from removing the Hijab that otherwise will be kept away from you if you removed it?

Simply point out her inconsistencies. 

 

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59 minutes ago, Guest Dunia said:

Salam aleikom Saydna how can I ask you some questions?

Walekumassalam, 

May Allah bless you. 

Ping me over here on chat. If possible. 

Or, if you have an instagram :

Reach me over here https://www.instagram.com/__zain_abbas__/

Let me know if you are facing any difficulty. 

 

 

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Guest Molana Laddan

We won’t know if the Guest Dunya is still watching it, but being a parent myself, there are two rules that I’ve learned dealing with kids.
 

Love Love Love ->Listen to them -> Talk to them -> Love Love Love (repeat it 5x a day) plus treat them as intelligent adults. 

Kids today, world over have same issues, nobody listens to them, nobody understands them, nobody knows what they go through when they are out of home. Tap into this gap, and you would be their best friend and prime influencer overtime InshAllah. 

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At the age of 10 did you make her start wearing it? Sometimes girls are forced to wear it at a young age or they're highly encouraged to, but they wear it for the wrong reasons (such as pleasing their parents). She has to want to wear it for one reason only, to please Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). If she wears it for that reason usually no matter what she faces in her world she knows that she is pleasing her creator and thus will continue to wear it. Speaking from personal experience as a hijabi and seeing young girls being forced to wear it at a young age. Girls should make this decision on their own, they shouldn't be forced into it.

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On 11/11/2020 at 1:24 PM, Guest Dunia said:

Salam aleikom. My daughter she’s nearly 16 and she doesn’t want to wear anymore the hijab.She’s wearing from the age of 10.I did talk to her, beg her, you name it, she doesn’t want to wear it.Please advises. Ma saalama 

Walaikum salaam,

No compulsion in islam. And over years nobody has been able to prove to me that the prophet ordered all women to wear it. So we must follow the same freedom unless proved otherwise, thanks

Maa salaama

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On 11/11/2020 at 12:24 PM, Guest Dunia said:

Salam aleikom. My daughter she’s nearly 16 and she doesn’t want to wear anymore the hijab.She’s wearing from the age of 10.I did talk to her, beg her, you name it, she doesn’t want to wear it.Please advises. Ma saalama 

did you force her to wear it?? then its youre own fault!!

10 year is waay to young! let a child be herself, she needs to decide herself when she wants it!!

i see way to many females putting their hijab off because they covered it waay to young.. and to be honest i dont blame the womens but the parents it self its their own fault!!!

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On 11/13/2020 at 2:36 PM, Zainuu said:

out of topic.. but i just added you!!!!:verryhappy:

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3 minutes ago, F.M said:

10 year is waay to young! let a child be herself, she needs to decide herself when she wants it!!

Islam explicitly says that it is obligatory for a girl after 9 lunar years, so in the sense of it being way to young that’s a fallacious presupposition. She does have the freedom to choose, but she will be freely choosing to be wrong. 

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14 minutes ago, Mohammad313Ali said:

Islam explicitly says that it is obligatory for a girl after 9 lunar years, so in the sense of it being way to young that’s a fallacious presupposition. She does have the freedom to choose, but she will be freely choosing to be wrong. 

firstly ...its says after menses, secondly MEN HAS ALSO their rules, and  most arent even keeping it!!!

THE RULE is that the girl herself dicides to wear a hijab.. elsewhere its the parents fault when she takes her hijab off!!!

i also dont see males clothed in face veil ,tawhb, while it is also for them imortant to cover up their face (with veil) and figures (basically according to islam they arent allowed to wear jeans) also said that prophet muhammed sawa and even other prophets used to cover up their face..( i dont see any men covering it up)

QURAN states more than clear enough that females have even more right than the males...SO YALLAH, i am waiting for a rule that males should walk with a burqa on and headcovering (to cover up the hair) and tahwb to not see their figures...

instead of judging the girls GO JUDGE THE MALES.. coz clearly lots dont even practise clothing according to shariah..

 

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10 minutes ago, F.M said:

.its says after menses

No it doesn't 

10 minutes ago, F.M said:

THE RULE is that the girl herself dicides to wear a hijab

No it's not, the rule is that the girl is obliged to wear Hijab and if she does not then she is disobeying Allah and in an Islamic society she would be reprimanded. 

11 minutes ago, F.M said:

i also dont see males

This is a tu Quoque fallacy and isn't even related to the thread, both males and females ought to abide by the Hijab prescribed to each sex.

12 minutes ago, F.M said:

QURAN states

That we must enjoin good and forbid evil

 

13 minutes ago, F.M said:

i am waiting for a rule that males should walk with a burqa on and headcovering (to cover up the hair) and tahwb to not see their figures...

?

13 minutes ago, F.M said:

instead of judging the girls GO JUDGE THE MALES.. coz clearly lots dont even practise clothing according to shariah.

 I could care less whether a girl wears Hijab or not, but if you want to do your own ijtihad and say 9 is too young, you need to realize that you are the one falsely judging and doing تشريع which not even an infallible can do. 

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As a general rule: Ones with less intellect, wisdom, experience are suppose to listen to the ones with Higher intellect, wisdom and life experience. 

There are certain laws in the Secular Societies/world where underage are not allowed to participate in certain activities no matter how much the want to be part of it. Its done  for their benefit as they do not know any better. 

Somehow, we feel obliged to lower standards due to cultural/peer pressure to allow certain things as we will be called backward/dictators/uncompromising etc...We are actually afraid and are fully engaged in Polytheism. 

You can judge me, I don't matter to me. But this is how i operate.

If an young family member wants to do something, I don't explain to them why you should Not do it. Usually, they have this entitlement mentality and they will bring about all the excuses to not follow the established norms. So, I don't fall pray to this . 

I ask them to justify to me whatever they are about to do? The logical/ rational reasons for it and what are the pro's and con's and how does it impact them in a short/medium/long terms. 

If they can't in an intellectual manner articulate and show a logical/rational case for whatever they are about to do. 

I do not pressure them, I just can't be part of it. (period). Meaning, you are on your own. Don't expect me to accept it, or like it or go with you to or be out with in while you are in this condition. I feel, disengagement delivers a powerful message to them and others. If you feel this way you will loose them, you have lost them already the point they became a rebel without making a case. 

I have logically, rationally explained the benefits to you, if you can't offer an logical and rational alternative you have no case and just engaged in rebellion with slogan and superficial questions. 

 

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12 minutes ago, Mohammad313Ali said:

it's not, the rule is that the girl is obliged to wear Hijab and if she does not then she is disobeying Allah and in an Islamic society she would be reprimanded. 

There is no evidence for this, as the ahl bayt never did so in public and never made such a rule for all women including Muslim women.

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3 minutes ago, lissenma said:

could you create a new thread regarding your view. You seem to be very convinced about your position regarding hijab. I would like to see what other more informed brothers and sisters have to say.

islam teaches us to have equal rights.. also islam is most femenism religion ever..

its not making sense that all the dress codes only apply to females.. while in fact all prophets used to cover up their face ( that women dont wacht theeir beauty) also they used to cover up themseelves on the best way... everyone is judging the girls while in fact the males themselves dont practise their own rules....

ALSO ISLAM strictly says that it isnt allowed that a girl is getting pushed to wear a hijab.. it should be her own desiosion..

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15 minutes ago, lissenma said:

What does femenism mean to you?

equal rights. just what islam says..

one of the reasons the females are geting  waaay to far with their femenisim.. is that they  see more than enough that mostly only females are the ones who practise according to the shariah ( i am also not talking specifically to islam, but all over the world and everyone)

for example: islam clearly states that females have the same right as men..but in one way or another its getting forgotten and feamles are seen as persons who needs to stay home,watch the kids,covering herself completally up ( and yes that is one of the tasks of femaales) BUT THE SAME APPLIES TO MEN.

i know from every religion that prophets used to clothes themselves up as unatractive people ( not showing their figures,veiling their faces (to not let women watch them). covering their head/ hair.. and so did our beloved prophet muhammed sawa and ahllabayt did the same!!

the problem with the hijabs is that females these days are getting sick of the NOT-EQUAL-RIGHTS!! AND THATS WHY LOTS ARE STARTING TO BE LESS MOTIVTED TO PRACTICE THEIR RELIGION!!( COZ WHY SHOULD ONLY FEMALES APPLY TO RULES??) if the males did practise the shariah too!! than the famales dont have a need to feel kind of insecure,opressed or even estimated!!

----

when imam al mahdi comes it has been even said that even 2 girls wo are friended with each other are easilly going to travel the world without getting harassed by men... and there are even much more sayings...if he (aj) would  establish his governemt than allow such things is telling more than enough that most muslims are doing teribbly wrong if it goes about rights of women...

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22 minutes ago, F.M said:

when imam al mahdi comes it has been even said that even 2 girls wo are friended with each other are easilly going to travel the world

Exactly! People will realise that it is not something material on women that matters, but righteous behaviour and knowledge 

 

ye Children of Adam! We have bestowed clothes upon you to cover your shame, as well as to be an adornment to you. But the clothes of righteousness,- that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may receive admonition! 7:26

It is quality not quantity. A woman can wear a thing on her head but attract ten times more dirty attention on purpose than a not veiled decent lady. This whole talk of physical rags is useless. 

It is better to talk whats on the inside in the heart and mind

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2 hours ago, Allah Seeker said:

that is your opinion. Other people might have different opinions on what a false judgment is, 

Salam dear brother, I am nobody to even have an opinion when it comes to Islam, however, it is reasonable to say that there are those who go against the mainstream Shia/Sunni consensus. When it comes to that the onus is on them to provide their evidence, the statement that there is no evidence to Hijab is one which is not binding for a number of reasons.

Historically - Hijab was proven to be a critical part in a society used at the time to differentiate between a free woman and slave girl

Logically - Sunnis and Shias all agree that Hijab is Wajib and never once contested this idea, but they disagree whether to fold hands or not.

Quranically - Khimar is mentioned in the Quran, as you know a khimar is comparable to a scarf which was worn by the pre-islamic women of Arabia, the command then came to simply use the draping portion of the Khimar to cover their bosoms' it wouldn't make sense to say cover your heads as well since they're already covered.

I believe this topic was beaten to death in a previous thread which I don't know whether you recall it or not, it is completely fine to have unorthodox opinions which are considered to be wrong by the consensus of the Shia and Sunni schools of thought, however, it is important to not push this opinion as the absolute truth.

We don't want our dear sister @F.M to start believing Hijab is not wajib, or that 9 years old is 'too young' as of now she is apparently against the entire pillar of enjoining good and forbidding evil which is quite problematic in its own respect. 

P.S: I figured someone might bring up those who wear Niqabs, Burkas, etc and them being more provoking or drawing greater attention to an unveiled modestly dressed girl/women, of course it is clear that Hijab is not simply a form of wrapping around the body, nor is the Niqab a means to make the eyes more seductive as that defies the purpose of Hijab and is therefore not what Hijab is.

As for Hadiths: 

HIJAB.pngHijab3.pngHijab2.pnghijab4.png

Edited by Mohammad313Ali
Changed 'were' to 'wear'
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2 minutes ago, Mohammad313Ali said:

Salam dear brother, I am nobody to even have an opinion when it comes to Islam, however, it is reasonable to say that there are those who go against the mainstream Shia/Sunni consensus. When it comes to that the onus is on them to provide their evidence, the statement that there is no evidence to Hijab is one which is not binding for a number of reasons.

Historically - Hijab was proven to be a critical part in a society used at the time to differentiate between a free woman and slave girl

Logically - Sunnis and Shias all agree that Hijab is Wajib and never once contested this idea, but they disagree whether to fold hands or not.

Quranically - Khimar is mentioned in the Quran, as you know a khimar is comparable to a scarf which was worn by the pre-islamic women of Arabia, the command then came to simply use the draping portion of the Khimar to cover their bosoms' it wouldn't make sense to say cover your heads as well since they're already covered.

I believe this topic was beaten to death in a previous thread which I don't know whether you recall it or not, it is completely fine to have unorthodox opinions which are considered to be wrong by the consensus of the Shia and Sunni schools of thought, however, it is important to not push this opinion as the absolute truth.

We don't want our dear sister @F.M to start believing Hijab is not wajib, or that 9 years old is 'too young' as of now she is apparently against the entire pillar of enjoining good and forbidding evil which is quite problematic in its own respect. 

P.S: I figured someone might bring up those who were Niqabs, Burkas, etc and them being more provoking or drawing greater attention to an unveiled modestly dressed girl/women, of course it is clear that Hijab is not simply a form of wrapping around the body, nor is the Niqab a means to make the eyes more seductive as that defies the purpose of Hijab and is therefore not what Hijab is.

As for Hadiths: 

HIJAB.pngHijab3.pngHijab2.pnghijab4.png

Walaikum salaam dear brother,

Thanks for your kind words,

There are many sunis who don't believe head scarf is a must.

We first must ask what the prophet historically did or said, before looking at his progeny.

In your view, why did prophet mohamed not proclaim it publically if it is compulsory? 

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5 minutes ago, Mohammad313Ali said:

We don't want our dear sister @F.M to start believing Hijab is not wajib, or that 9 years old is 'too young' as of now she is apparently against the entire pillar of enjoining good and forbidding evil which is quite problematic in its own respect. 

I want her to think exactly that :D because I believe it to be true. Please don't veil your kids guys! That's torture in my opinion and abuse, they are kids for God's sake, they haven't even hit puberty yet. And if prophet doesn't say something in public, then we shouldn't either. So I hope sister believes like me :D

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1 hour ago, F.M said:

islam clearly states that females have the same right as men

Males and Females don't have 'equal rights' I don't know where you are getting this from, the Shariah deals with both genders differently. The ruling towards a male may at times be more strict then the female and the female may be obliged to do more then the male, or receive less then the male. In the end the only thing which the Male and Female could be considered counterparts is in their similar aims towards achieving piety, but even then the routes may differ depending on their obligations. 

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6 minutes ago, Allah Seeker said:

In your view, why did prophet mohamed not proclaim it publically if it is compulsory? 

Why didn't the Prophet Muhammad not proclaim slavery is 'immoral' because he instituted a system to deal with that global reality and part of that system as I mentioned is 

 

12 minutes ago, Mohammad313Ali said:

Hijab was proven to be a critical part in a society used at the time to differentiate between a free woman and slave girl

 

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1 hour ago, F.M said:

for example: islam clearly states that females have the same right as men..but in one way or another its getting forgotten and feamles are seen as persons who needs to stay home,watch the kids,covering herself completally up ( and yes that is one of the tasks of femaales) BUT THE SAME APPLIES TO MEN

Salaam sister,

You are right in your point that their are equal rights. And also that Hijab must not be imposed. 

But, at the same time, Hijab is a duty upon woman and it is an order from Allah. 

I understand that considering the human nature, things should be made clear so that a person selects something by will but what about the denial, even after knowing the truth if an order?? 

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Just now, Mohammad313Ali said:

Why didn't the Prophet Muhammad not proclaim slavery is 'immoral' because he instituted a system to deal with that global reality and part of that system as I mentioned is 

 

 

I dont see a connection as slavery is not haram, as you claim not wearing something on the head is haram

Please answer directly. Why did the prophet never say it is compulsory in public? He wasn't doing taqya 

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7 minutes ago, Allah Seeker said:

prophet doesn't say something in public,

Prophet never proclaimed the 12 caliphs in public (neithe Ed within shia nor within sunni. Deny that??

One more thing, event of cloak did not happen in public, deny that??? 

These are some extremely important topics within Islam, can you deny them all? 

Surah al Nur verse 31 is a crystal clear proclamation of Hijab. 

Do you need that in public??  Was it for one woman? 

Obedience of Allah and the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) is a must. Why are you deviating the sisters on this topic???

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