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In the Name of God بسم الله

My younger sister has same-sex attraction

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Guest AnonyMouse

Salam everyone

I am a male in my late 20s and I have a younger sister who is in her early 20s. We live in America and we have a great relationship and we are very close to each other. I am religious whereas I presumed she was religious as well, although we don't really talk that much about religion. 

Five days ago she messaged me telling me she had same-sex attraction and that she has been feeling this way since she was 12. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond. I knew she confided in me because we are very close, but this shocked me to my core -- I can't imagine ever condoning same-sex attraction. I tried to tell her about Islam's view on same-sex attraction, and she admitted she knew that it wasn't allowed in Islam. 

I'm really worried and don't know what to do. I feel this will be a huge roadblock in our relationship, and I generally love my relationship/bond with her. We are more friends than siblings, which is probably why she felt comfortable telling me, despite the fact that she knows where I stand in terms of religiosity. I can't imagine jeopardizing our bond, but I just can't accept it at all.

What should I do? I told her that I don't agree with this and she said I don't have to agree with it and that we'll all go to our own graves. She isn't as worried about the haram aspect of it, as much as she is worried about everyone's reaction towards her. I'm getting the sense that religion doesn't have a lot of influence in her life although we grew up in a religious household. 

She told me she is looking to move out for grad school and I'm worried she will try to experience same sex attraction when she moves out. She already told me a while ago she's considering taking off her hijab. I'm really worried for her and our relationship, though I feel I can't tell our parents because they will not take it well and may even send her back to India to get married. I obviously don't want that for her because she will hate me and my parents for the rest of our lives and I know she deserves to stay here and work towards her career. What should I do? Any guidance is appreciated, thanks.

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Walaikum as salam brother I suppose you could distinguish to her the difference between having a desire and acting on it. Rather than focusing on her attraction, it's important to emphasize that

I don't know why anybody is taking this Randle character seriously, he is undermining the severe sin of same-sex relations and the fact that it can lead to capital punishment under an Islamic system o

Your sister is in her early twenties, you can't make decisions for her or live her life. You can simply advise her, if she refuses to listen to you, it's on her. Welcome to the real world my frie

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17 hours ago, Guest AnonyMouse said:

Salam everyone

I am a male in my late 20s and I have a younger sister who is in her early 20s. We live in America and we have a great relationship and we are very close to each other. I am religious whereas I presumed she was religious as well, although we don't really talk that much about religion. 

Five days ago she messaged me telling me she had same-sex attraction and that she has been feeling this way since she was 12. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond. I knew she confided in me because we are very close, but this shocked me to my core -- I can't imagine ever condoning same-sex attraction. I tried to tell her about Islam's view on same-sex attraction, and she admitted she knew that it wasn't allowed in Islam. 

I'm really worried and don't know what to do. I feel this will be a huge roadblock in our relationship, and I generally love my relationship/bond with her. We are more friends than siblings, which is probably why she felt comfortable telling me, despite the fact that she knows where I stand in terms of religiosity. I can't imagine jeopardizing our bond, but I just can't accept it at all.

What should I do? I told her that I don't agree with this and she said I don't have to agree with it and that we'll all go to our own graves. She isn't as worried about the haram aspect of it, as much as she is worried about everyone's reaction towards her. I'm getting the sense that religion doesn't have a lot of influence in her life although we grew up in a religious household. 

She told me she is looking to move out for grad school and I'm worried she will try to experience same sex attraction when she moves out. She already told me a while ago she's considering taking off her hijab. I'm really worried for her and our relationship, though I feel I can't tell our parents because they will not take it well and may even send her back to India to get married. I obviously don't want that for her because she will hate me and my parents for the rest of our lives and I know she deserves to stay here and work towards her career. What should I do? Any guidance is appreciated, thanks.

Salam. In the end, everyone makes their own choices in life, and they bear the consequences of those choices. 

The only way to become close to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is thru Ibadat. Ibadat, the common meaning people understand, is acts of worship (Salat, Saum, Hajj, Khums). The actual meaning of Ibadat is  'as a slave'. We, as muslim, are supposed to approach Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) as a slave. A slave neither has any control over their own fate or gets to decide what they will do. This is decided by the Master, Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), and they simply do their best to follow what their Master tells them. If someone is not willing to do Ibadat (meaning approach Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) as a slave), they will never , in the real sense, be a muslim. This is because they think the know more that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), and this is due to their inflated sense of themselves, i.e. their ego and arrogance. 

The decision which determines everything else for a person is the decision to be an Abd (slave) of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) or follow their own ego. This decision is something that only that person can make. You can attempt to guide them to the right decision, as you are doing, but you cannot make the decision for them, not matter how much you want to.

 

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18 hours ago, Guest AnonyMouse said:

I feel I can't tell our parents because they will not take it well and may even send her back to India to get married. I obviously don't want that for her because she will hate me and my parents for the rest of our lives and I know she deserves to stay here

If you tell them, she might hate you for the time being, but would love you again when you two meet in Qayamah. She would be thankful to you then.

If you really care for her, i think you should inform her guardian about the situation.

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I mean if she's fully 100% lesbian, there's not much you can do.

If she's bisexual, but at this stage of her life prefers women, then there is an off chance she might find a man at some stage in the future. 

Ultimately, we all sin multiple times in a lifetime. Some of us sin less, some of us sin more. This is just one sin of many that accumulate in a lifetime. You may think it's a very serious sin, she might think it's a small one. God will ultimately judge. 

As a syblling, there's not much you can do. She didn't choose to be this way.

Be aware that homosexuality has always had higher rates of suicide, depression, self harm, eating disorders, homelessness, family estrangement etc.

Be a good syblling, have mercy and look after them and realise how hard life will be for them. 

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This is a sensitive situation and you should approch it carefully. The feelings health by gay people are probably real but it doesn't make it right to act on them. I think this is just another form of test by god, a pretty difficult one too. Inform her about the sin of zina, advice her to out her religion and akhira first in whatever she wants to do. But don't shun her completely, as she's still your sister and cutting of family is a major sin. Im no scientist or doctor, but maybe she should try taking hormones pills like ostrogen or other female hormones and see if it does any good. They shouldnt cause any harm of dangerous side effects too.

 

But in the end remember we are all writing our own exams, if she's not doing in hers don't beat yourself up

.

 

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Randle McMurphy

 she didnt choose to be that way yes but giving up and saying there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it is wrong, there is plenty of do about it, if she follows her desires which we all agree is wrong, its gonna lead to much worse and eventually forget all about Allah

There are people that are attracted to their own siblings, some people even to animals, those people didnt choose to be that way either, its wrong yes but how is being attracted to your sibling different same sex? ‘They didnt choose to be that way’ but you call the sibling one a mental illness and same sex normal and nothing can be done about it

Its a mental issue and back in the day you could get professional help for same sex attraction but you cant even question it or argue against it now, kids are getting confused about their genders, about their sexuality, and massive increase in gay numbers, it just amazes me how immoral our societies have become

I think you should sit down, have a serious chat with her, encourage her to get married, marriage with a good man who treats her good will 100% have influence her and inshallah eventually she will skip that phase

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6 hours ago, Guest Lad said:

Randle McMurphy

 she didnt choose to be that way yes but giving up and saying there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it is wrong, there is plenty of do about it, if she follows her desires which we all agree is wrong, its gonna lead to much worse and eventually forget all about Allah

There are people that are attracted to their own siblings, some people even to animals, those people didnt choose to be that way either, its wrong yes but how is being attracted to your sibling different same sex? ‘They didnt choose to be that way’ but you call the sibling one a mental illness and same sex normal and nothing can be done about it

Its a mental issue and back in the day you could get professional help for same sex attraction but you cant even question it or argue against it now, kids are getting confused about their genders, about their sexuality, and massive increase in gay numbers, it just amazes me how immoral our societies have become

I think you should sit down, have a serious chat with her, encourage her to get married, marriage with a good man who treats her good will 100% have influence her and inshallah eventually she will skip that phase

Buddy. Your talking through your hat (turban?). 

No conversion therapy has ever worked. There are numerous medical articles on this.

A rudimentary amount of research, that a 10 year old could do, would have let informed you on the lack of knowledge on this subject. Let me give you a helping hand; https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversion_therapy

Even if you're one of those science deniers/flat earthers/covid deniers/anti vaxxers, logically you should be able to work it out; if conversion therapy worked, why did they stop doing it? It surely would have eradicared homosexuality like cowpox eradicating smallpox?(Lol)

You've got some 1950s Clockwork Orange mentality brother hahahah

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37 minutes ago, Randle McMurphy said:

Buddy. Your talking through your hat (turban?). 

No conversion therapy has ever worked. There are numerous medical articles on this.

A rudimentary amount of research, that a 10 year old could do, would have let informed you on the lack of knowledge on this subject. Let me give you a helping hand; https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversion_therapy

Even if you're one of those science deniers/flat earthers/covid deniers/anti vaxxers, logically you should be able to work it out; if conversion therapy worked, why did they stop doing it? It surely would have eradicared homosexuality like cowpox eradicating smallpox?(Lol)

You've got some 1950s Clockwork Orange mentality brother hahahah

There are many many problems in your text that I don't care to point out, but I would like to call you out on them is all.

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On 11/8/2020 at 10:35 PM, Guest AnonyMouse said:

What should I do? I told her that I don't agree with this and she said I don't have to agree with it and that we'll all go to our own graves. She isn't as worried about the haram aspect of it, as much as she is worried about everyone's reaction towards her. I'm getting the sense that religion doesn't have a lot of influence in her life although we grew up in a religious household. 

Salaam Brother, 

Start from the point where you both agree. That is the point 'we'll all go in our own graves'

Don't simply state that the act is haram and that's it. Narrate to her the story of Prophet Lut's (عليه السلام) community which was indulged in homosexuality and was cursed by Allah because of this. Do have religious discussions within you and don't assume religion to be a constant. Imam as Sadiq (عليه السلام) has adviced to promote religious discussions among the youth. Try to bring her much more closer to faith and religion. Maybe she is in a wrong company. Take her away from that (if it is the case). 

Discuss about death and Hereafter which is verily a very important reminder. And please, atleast you calm down and don't be upset. Think with a clear mind, Allah will show you the way. Pray for her and do amal if necessary.

May Allah bless you and secure your sister's faith. May Allah protect her from deviating. Verily Allah is the powerful and the protector. I will also pray for you and her. 

 

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On 11/8/2020 at 10:35 PM, Guest AnonyMouse said:

I'm really worried for her and our relationship, though I feel I can't tell our parents because they will not take it well and may even send her back to India to get married

Also, you are doing a mistake here. Do consider this option too. Doesn't matter if she hates you or something. What matters more for you. Her Faith? or her being good to you?

 

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On 11/8/2020 at 8:05 PM, Guest AnonyMouse said:

She told me she is looking to move out for grad school and I'm worried she will try to experience same sex attraction when she moves out. She already told me a while ago she's considering taking off her hijab. I'm really worried for her and our relationship, though I feel I can't tell our parents because they will not take it well and may even send her back to India to get married. I obviously don't want that for her because she will hate me and my parents for the rest of our lives and I know she deserves to stay here and work towards her career. What should I do? Any guidance is appreciated, thanks.

One of the primary reasons I am glad I left America was because all of the evil it is endowed with and how easy it is for Shaytaan to influence you, especially when you are always around non-Muslims. Even if you are surrounded by evil, the best thing is to be around the believers. A person is upon the religion of their friends, so be careful whom you befriend.

The only thing you can do is spread the message and inform her. You can warn her of the dangers, but you cannot stop her. You have to sincerely ask Allah to help you and her. Tell her to pray, for verily prayer stops one from committing immorality. Tell her to talk to Allah and remind her that, as she says, she will answer to him. If she says that we will all go to our graves, then how is it that she accepts that it is prohibited by Allah and still chooses to disobey him? One thing will lead to another and she will eventually exit Islam.

My teachers all say the same thing: 

"Shaytaan will never get you to sin immediately. He will make you take baby steps. Even if it takes you 10 years to move an inch, he will never stop trying. He will wait patiently and ultimately seek to misguide you. He has a millennia amount of experience. You are nothing new under the sun - just another person he is trying to see fail and perish with him in his eternal abode. The question always comes down to this: will you let him?"

Moreover, this is not much, but women will not be punished like men for homosexual behavior. It is definitely prohibited, but the punishment is not the same - in this world nor the Hereafter.

Remain steadfast and ask Allah. That is the only option. The most powerful weapon a Muslim has is the supplication to Allah. If you want a miracle like the Messengers and Prophets of Allah, believe, trust, pray, and supplicate to Him like they did. Be easy with her. Do not push her away. Remember that you have given the example of the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad ibn 'Abdullah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). Emulate him. What would he do? Your answer lies therein.

 

Assalamu 'alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.

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Randle

Conversion Therapy did not work in most cases I agree with you there, but it did work in some and you asking why they stopped doing it well brother if you did your research, youll find out that massive LGTBQ groups (have the massive support group that they do) called on governemnts to ban it and yes alot of therapist are gonna say its ok to be gay when they don’t have a God and dont fear the next world, if there was no God then I myself would say whats the problem with it? And you think about this, if you were a therapist and did believe in the conversion therapy then would you come out saying yes this is the way?

mate LGBTQ groups will have your head!

not to mention how much disease like HIV and AIDS they spread

I have nothing against gays, absolutely nothing, but encouraging it and promoting it in schools to kids that still think girls are ew is what I have a problem with

think about it, being a kid and thinking girls are ew and youre always with your bestfriend whom you love, having teachers tell you its ok to be gay is gonna do some damage to the kids mental health

End of the day, everybody writes their own exam, if you are willing to meet your Lord that way then so be it! 
But please don’t tell me and attack me when I say its not right

This is from a muslim point of view

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12 minutes ago, Guest Lad said:

Randle

Conversion Therapy did not work in most cases I agree with you there, but it did work in some and you asking why they stopped doing it well brother if you did your research, youll find out that massive LGTBQ groups (have the massive support group that they do) called on governemnts to ban it and yes alot of therapist are gonna say its ok to be gay when they don’t have a God and dont fear the next world, if there was no God then I myself would say whats the problem with it? And you think about this, if you were a therapist and did believe in the conversion therapy then would you come out saying yes this is the way?

mate LGBTQ groups will have your head!

not to mention how much disease like HIV and AIDS they spread

I have nothing against gays, absolutely nothing, but encouraging it and promoting it in schools to kids that still think girls are ew is what I have a problem with

think about it, being a kid and thinking girls are ew and youre always with your bestfriend whom you love, having teachers tell you its ok to be gay is gonna do some damage to the kids mental health

End of the day, everybody writes their own exam, if you are willing to meet your Lord that way then so be it! 
But please don’t tell me and attack me when I say its not right

This is from a muslim point of view

Well, I can tell no logical thing will change your mind. 

Could you elaborate on how many homosexuals you've managed to turn into heterosexuals?

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Randle

The islamic ruling on it is its not a sin to be a homosexual, but a grave sin to act upon it, as a muslim you’re gonna have to say no to your lustful desires, in some minor cases eventually get over it, in some cases its very difficult but never the less, we will all answer for everything we do

Can you tell me what you think of siblings attracted to siblings?

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42 minutes ago, Randle McMurphy said:

Strong debating skills. You must be the islamic Johnny Cochran, Jinnah Cochran.

It's just beneath me and anyone who reads your post is all. Just letting you know in case you care. My message is mainly to show support to Lad because it annoys me when people are spoken to like that on the internet.

Have a great day and brush up your adab when you talk to people.

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Your sister is in her early twenties, you can't make decisions for her or live her life. You can simply advise her, if she refuses to listen to you, it's on her.

Welcome to the real world my friend, many of the youth are treating Islam as a joke. It's not just your sister, but millions who are closet athiests (not saying your sister is). 

Not sure if this is what Islam would say (consult someone more knowledgeable), but yes don't carelessly tell your parents, there's no guarantee that it's gonna bring her back to faith, it might do the opposite. She'll lose respect for you and any chance of her coming back will be gone to the bin, unless Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) guides her. Even if your parents try being strict on her etc. It'll just make her rebel. Again, this is just my humble opinion, take it with a grain of salt. Women are sophisticated beings and understanding them isn't easy. You have to be very tactful and strategic about this.

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5 hours ago, Guest Lad said:

youll find out that massive LGTBQ groups (have the massive support group that they do) called on governemnts to ban it

Victor Madrigal Borloz, a UN independent expert on the prevention and practices of torture, wrote a very clear research, accompanied with proofs and sources you can check, on the problems behind these practices. And it is specifically this UN research what call for government ban on conversion therapy all around the world.

It's not a secret evil LGBT agenda, it's research.

https://www.ohchr.org/EN/NewsEvents/Pages/DisplayNews.aspx?NewsID=26051&LangID=E

In the above link, you will be able to download the 22 page report. Feel free to remind your sister what is Islam position on this, but conversion therapy isn't any help, it's torture. 

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On 11/8/2020 at 12:05 PM, Guest AnonyMouse said:

Salam everyone

I am a male in my late 20s and I have a younger sister who is in her early 20s. We live in America and we have a great relationship and we are very close to each other. I am religious whereas I presumed she was religious as well, although we don't really talk that much about religion. 

Five days ago she messaged me telling me she had same-sex attraction and that she has been feeling this way since she was 12. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond. I knew she confided in me because we are very close, but this shocked me to my core -- I can't imagine ever condoning same-sex attraction. I tried to tell her about Islam's view on same-sex attraction, and she admitted she knew that it wasn't allowed in Islam. 

I'm really worried and don't know what to do. I feel this will be a huge roadblock in our relationship, and I generally love my relationship/bond with her. We are more friends than siblings, which is probably why she felt comfortable telling me, despite the fact that she knows where I stand in terms of religiosity. I can't imagine jeopardizing our bond, but I just can't accept it at all.

What should I do? I told her that I don't agree with this and she said I don't have to agree with it and that we'll all go to our own graves. She isn't as worried about the haram aspect of it, as much as she is worried about everyone's reaction towards her. I'm getting the sense that religion doesn't have a lot of influence in her life although we grew up in a religious household. 

She told me she is looking to move out for grad school and I'm worried she will try to experience same sex attraction when she moves out. She already told me a while ago she's considering taking off her hijab. I'm really worried for her and our relationship, though I feel I can't tell our parents because they will not take it well and may even send her back to India to get married. I obviously don't want that for her because she will hate me and my parents for the rest of our lives and I know she deserves to stay here and work towards her career. What should I do? Any guidance is appreciated, thanks.

Salam wa Rahmat Allah,

You need to show her why there is a difference in this type of love and this difference is worth nothing in the long run. You need to show her why Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) made this difference between gender. If you have to tell your parents, they might try to help, I suggest you don't make it escalate. 

Wa Salam.

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On 11/8/2020 at 12:05 PM, Guest AnonyMouse said:

Salam everyone

I am a male in my late 20s and I have a younger sister who is in her early 20s. We live in America and we have a great relationship and we are very close to each other. I am religious whereas I presumed she was religious as well, although we don't really talk that much about religion. 

Five days ago she messaged me telling me she had same-sex attraction and that she has been feeling this way since she was 12. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond. I knew she confided in me because we are very close, but this shocked me to my core -- I can't imagine ever condoning same-sex attraction. I tried to tell her about Islam's view on same-sex attraction, and she admitted she knew that it wasn't allowed in Islam. 

I'm really worried and don't know what to do. I feel this will be a huge roadblock in our relationship, and I generally love my relationship/bond with her. We are more friends than siblings, which is probably why she felt comfortable telling me, despite the fact that she knows where I stand in terms of religiosity. I can't imagine jeopardizing our bond, but I just can't accept it at all.

What should I do? I told her that I don't agree with this and she said I don't have to agree with it and that we'll all go to our own graves. She isn't as worried about the haram aspect of it, as much as she is worried about everyone's reaction towards her. I'm getting the sense that religion doesn't have a lot of influence in her life although we grew up in a religious household. 

She told me she is looking to move out for grad school and I'm worried she will try to experience same sex attraction when she moves out. She already told me a while ago she's considering taking off her hijab. I'm really worried for her and our relationship, though I feel I can't tell our parents because they will not take it well and may even send her back to India to get married. I obviously don't want that for her because she will hate me and my parents for the rest of our lives and I know she deserves to stay here and work towards her career. What should I do? Any guidance is appreciated, thanks.

Why dont you set her up with someone (male obviously) and maybe she will eventually let go of homosexuality. Im not sure if this wil 100% work but just try.

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5 hours ago, Mohammad313Ali said:

I don't know why anybody is taking this Randle character seriously, he is undermining the severe sin of same-sex relations and the fact that it can lead to capital punishment under an Islamic system of governance. I recall a post of his on another lgbt related thread where he states: 

'As such, for me homosexuality isn't really that big of a sin anymore. The more dogmatic religious people here, who believe in following the religion in it's original medieval form will disagree with me.'

There is no use to even exchange remarks with this individual, homosexuality will always be a grave sin, for it is a means to destroy an entire community and cause the strongest foundation of a society to erode - you need to look no further then the United States and the disastrous onslaught of this deviant lgbt movement and the way it is corrupting the people and doing what no other deviant has done before, targeting innocent children, spoiling their hearts and perverting their minds. 

@Randle McMurphy You claim to be a Muslim, but know that stating 'there is nothing wrong with being gay' and 'it is completely fine to engage in same sex relations as a Muslim' is a statement of clear Kufr and it can nullify you as a Muslim. You cannot and will not change the religion of Allah, you realize that the greatest thinkers to this day, those who you are knowingly and unknowingly reaping the benefits of their contributions are the same you call 'dogmatic' and 'medieval'. 

We are entering a new-era and it is imperative that we remain steadfast on defending our religion and its values from these deviants who accept such acts of kufr and indecency, it is of the utmost importance that we do not compromise our beliefs and remain unapologetic lest those who infiltrate us from within leave us like they have left certain sects within Christianity, going as far as to marry these people. I advise that you desist from your empathetic defense which stems from an ocean of ignorance in the Islamic sense and in correlation to the nature of the human being, if you will continue to do so you will face much contradiction and a rebuke from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) which I don't think any of us are able to withstand.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) guide us all to the straight path, we are indeed sinners and have neglected much of our duties towards the creator, let us seek forgiveness and guidance for ourselves from our creator, instead of taking other avenues in which we change the immaculate law of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) which has been established through His prophets and vicegerents. Let us be very weary of changing the law of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to fit our own egotistical aims, ulterior motives, and personal gains of social acceptance.  

As brother @guest 2025 stated, very much can be said, but I will suffice with this minimal response to a gargantuan of a claim this individual and his likes are wrongfully, unjustly, and immorally spewing. 

Beautiful brother. Indeed. It reminds me of Surah al Asr. 

Though we all support unity and wish that every person should be blessed by the reward of paradise and should not face any punishment. May Allah save everyone of us from the wrath of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).

But this is a dua, a kind wish for everyone. Besides this, we all know the reality. Which is, 

"(1) I swear by the time,

(2) Most surely man is in loss,

(3) Except those who believe and do good, and enjoin on each other truth, and enjoin on each other patience."

— Surah al Asr

We all should seek refuge of Allah from his wrath and the fire of hell. 

May Allah guide us and have mercy on all of us. May Allah forgive us for 'we have wronged ourselves' (zalamto Nafsi)

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On 11/23/2020 at 7:22 PM, Zainuu said:

Don't simply state that the act is haram and that's it. Narrate to her the story of Prophet Lut's (عليه السلام) community which was indulged in homosexuality and was cursed by Allah because of this.

Please don't say that OP. Your sister 100% already knows the story of Lut and doesn't need to hear from her own brother that she deserves to die for who she's attracted to. Because no matter how nicely you describe it (if you're describing it as the sin was being gay), the story of Lut is the story of people being killed for being gay.

 

On 11/23/2020 at 7:27 PM, Zainuu said:

Also, you are doing a mistake here. Do consider this option too. Doesn't matter if she hates you or something. What matters more for you. Her Faith? or her being good to you?

 

You read OP's post, right? About them probably sending her to India to get married? Because I've debated with you long enough to know that you wouldn't agree with that being done.

 

On 11/23/2020 at 8:30 PM, Guest Lad said:

but it did work in some

Or more likely the gay person faked it so their family wouldn't hate them.

 

On 11/23/2020 at 8:30 PM, Guest Lad said:

having teachers tell you its ok to be gay is gonna do some damage to the kids mental health

Um, nope, pretty sure it would improve their mental health not being told they're degenerates and freaks.

 

On 11/23/2020 at 10:44 PM, Mohammad313Ali said:

he is undermining the severe sin of same-sex relations and the fact that it can lead to capital punishment under an Islamic system of governance.

You scare me. Capital punishment should be undermined.

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18 minutes ago, gayboyanon said:

doesn't need to hear from her own brother that she deserves to die for who she's attracted to.

He never said for him to say this.

There is a reason why Allah created a AZWAJ.

There is a reason why a woman wears a hijab

There is a reason why a woman cant love a woman romantically 

There is a reason why a man cant love a man

There is a reason why a man needs a woman more than a woman needs a man.

EVERYTHING HAS A REASON! 

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1 hour ago, gayboyanon said:

You scare me.

The sin should scare you, not this insignificant slave. 

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On 11/9/2020 at 1:05 AM, Guest AnonyMouse said:

Salam everyone

I am a male in my late 20s and I have a younger sister who is in her early 20s. We live in America and we have a great relationship and we are very close to each other. I am religious whereas I presumed she was religious as well, although we don't really talk that much about religion. 

Five days ago she messaged me telling me she had same-sex attraction and that she has been feeling this way since she was 12. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond. I knew she confided in me because we are very close, but this shocked me to my core -- I can't imagine ever condoning same-sex attraction. I tried to tell her about Islam's view on same-sex attraction, and she admitted she knew that it wasn't allowed in Islam. 

I'm really worried and don't know what to do. I feel this will be a huge roadblock in our relationship, and I generally love my relationship/bond with her. We are more friends than siblings, which is probably why she felt comfortable telling me, despite the fact that she knows where I stand in terms of religiosity. I can't imagine jeopardizing our bond, but I just can't accept it at all.

What should I do? I told her that I don't agree with this and she said I don't have to agree with it and that we'll all go to our own graves. She isn't as worried about the haram aspect of it, as much as she is worried about everyone's reaction towards her. I'm getting the sense that religion doesn't have a lot of influence in her life although we grew up in a religious household. 

She told me she is looking to move out for grad school and I'm worried she will try to experience same sex attraction when she moves out. She already told me a while ago she's considering taking off her hijab. I'm really worried for her and our relationship, though I feel I can't tell our parents because they will not take it well and may even send her back to India to get married. I obviously don't want that for her because she will hate me and my parents for the rest of our lives and I know she deserves to stay here and work towards her career. What should I do? Any guidance is appreciated, thanks.

Salam 

whatever you do, do NOT tell your parents , she will never forgive you and do not make them send her to India . As mentioned previously , she will live in misery for the rest of her life and in fact she’ll hate Islam even more.

if that’s who she chooses to be, then let her, at this point she’s an adult and you can’t really do anything. You’ve already done your part by advising her that it’s against Islam , the rest is between her and Allah. So don’t feel guilty if nothing works out. I don’t know about conversion therapy but it’s best if you try to take baby steps with her and bring her closer to God. 
 

3 hours ago, gayboyanon said:
On 11/24/2020 at 4:30 AM, Guest Lad said:

 

Um, nope, pretty sure it would improve their mental health not being told they're degenerates and freaks

Improve their mental health in what way ? If they’re being taught from a young age that it’s okay to be gay even when they’re supposedly straight, they can still get influenced to think they are gay. Tell me why r the number of homosexuals increasing in this day and age, in fact there are several narrations which states that this is a sign of the day of judgement. After all we live in the West so they can do whatever they want, but they should not come here and tell our future Muslim generation that it is okay to be gay. You do realise that there are people who legit become a part of the LGBTQ+ because they think it’s some sort of trend?

i have seen several Muslims on social media support LGBTQ+, I understand if they are not practicing but even the ones who are practicing will go out of their way to bash anyone who talks against homosexuality and being called homophobic , even if they said the slightest thing as to why it’s against Islam. This isn’t our words, it’s God’s. If Islam forbids same sex-marriage, then why would Allah be so cruel to the ones who were “born” gay? Why would Allah be very strict on homosexuality ? 
 

some people need to wake up, every year different signs come up nearing towards yowm al qiyamah

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What I don't get with the gays is that they always seem to make this question about having a partner and having physical relations some kind of human rights issue. There are probably countless normal people who live the celibate life, even if they would rather not, without making it into some big issue.

If they want to act on their desires, no one is stopping them, but they always seem to feel the need to announce it publicly and go through the whole 'how will the family react' when it is unnecessary. This is all down to the influence of the media.

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4 hours ago, gayboyanon said:

About them probably sending her to India to get married? Because I've debated with you long enough to know that you wouldn't agree with that being done.

You didn't all what I said actually. I said on another thread about the theory of fluidity. You didn't read that so you won't get the point that changing the environment can have an effect on the removal of this instinct. 

And you won't get a chance to catch me by checking all what I've posted about homosexuality. 

:D

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7 hours ago, ServantOfTheHousehold said:

He never said for him to say this.

If you tell a gay person the story of Lut, you're telling them they deserve to die, even if that's not your intention, that's what you're telling them.

 

5 hours ago, 3wliya_maryam said:

If they’re being taught from a young age that it’s okay to be gay even when they’re supposedly straight, they can still get influenced to think they are gay.

That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.

 

5 hours ago, 3wliya_maryam said:

Tell me why r the number of homosexuals increasing in this day and age

It's not. The number of people coming out are more, because, you know, they're not being killed for being gay.

 

5 hours ago, 3wliya_maryam said:

You do realise that there are people who legit become a part of the LGBTQ+ because they think it’s some sort of trend?

I respect you and you seem like a good person, but this is completely false.

 

5 hours ago, 3wliya_maryam said:

go out of their way to bash anyone who talks against homosexuality and being called homophobic

It's understandable. I used to be like that, because of how badly I'd been burned by people who are genuinely homophobic. But you have to understand, that's the direct cause of the rampant homophobia in the community. But me, I've learned. It doesn't matter whether someone's homophobic, it matter's whether they still treat gay people with respect. Their feelings about gay people nobody can now, it's their actions that matter. And you respect gay people, so none of the other stuff matters.

 

5 hours ago, Ali_Hussain said:

There are probably countless normal people who live the celibate life, even if they would rather not, without making it into some big issue.

You realise there's a big difference between not finding a partner because you're having trouble finding one, and not being allowed to find a partner because if you do you'll have people wanting you dead and your life will be ruined. Learn empathy man.

 

5 hours ago, Ali_Hussain said:

no one is stopping them

Yes, they are. The homophobia is. The bullying is. You can't belittle the struggle that gay people go through. It's genuinely so naive. Or ignorant.

 

5 hours ago, Ali_Hussain said:

'how will the family react' when it is unnecessary.

Oh yeah, it's totally unnecessary to worry about how your family will react and whether you'll be homeless or not. Learn a bit about the real world man.

 

4 hours ago, Zainuu said:

You didn't all what I said actually. I said on another thread about the theory of fluidity. You didn't read that so you won't get the point that changing the environment can have an effect on the removal of this instinct. 

I did actually. And that doesn't matter. OP's parent's would force his sister into marriage, and if you think that it's OK for parents to force their child into marriage, then I'm sorry, but I've lost a lot of my respect for you. Forced marriage is really messed up.

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54 minutes ago, gayboyanon said:

OP's parent's would force his sister into marriage, and if you think that it's OK for parents to force their child into marriage, then I'm sorry, but I've lost a lot of my respect for you. Forced marriage is really messed up.

It is what you suppose. Accusing someone whom you don't know for something is really bad of you as a human being. 

Being judgemental about people because they don't agree with you is utterly bad and shameful.

May I ask you, who told you that her parents will force marriage on her? 

Please don't give me the statistics. Speaking like that about someone's parents is bad. 

They might explain her and treat her in a way so that she doesn't fall for such deviations. They are her parents and they know her better than you. 

That is the reason I advised him to talk to her parents. You are no one to blame her parents and act as a 'polite' 'kind' dude for her. 

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1 hour ago, Zainuu said:

It is what you suppose. Accusing someone whom you don't know for something is really bad of you as a human being. 

Being judgemental about people because they don't agree with you is utterly bad and shameful.

May I ask you, who told you that her parents will force marriage on her? 

Please don't give me the statistics. Speaking like that about someone's parents is bad. 

They might explain her and treat her in a way so that she doesn't fall for such deviations. They are her parents and they know her better than you. 

That is the reason I advised him to talk to her parents. You are no one to blame her parents and act as a 'polite' 'kind' dude for her. 

What do you think "and may even send her back to India to get married." means? I'm quoting what the OP said. If he's worried about them forcing their daughter into marriage, then he really shouldn't talk to them. He knows his parents better than we do.

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11 minutes ago, gayboyanon said:

and may even send her back to India to get married.

Did you see my response in return?Does it mean I'm supporting forced marriage?

And it might not be correct for you, but parents should have the knowledge about their child of whatever she is doing. And their is nothing wrong in informing the parents because they are her guardians and they will think better for her. 

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15 minutes ago, Zainuu said:

Did you see my response in return?Does it mean I'm supporting forced marriage?

And it might not be correct for you, but parents should have the knowledge about their child of whatever she is doing. And their is nothing wrong in informing the parents because they are her guardians and they will think better for her. 

I never said you said that. But you're being naive. OP said if he tells his parents they might force his sister into marriage. The potential bad outweighs the potential good.

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10 minutes ago, gayboyanon said:

OP said if he tells his parents they might force his sister into marriage.

To which I said that informing parents can also be an option. 

14 minutes ago, gayboyanon said:

I never said you said that.

Here below you assumed that my advice was based on forcing her into marriage:

3 hours ago, gayboyanon said:

OP's parent's would force his sister into marriage, and if you think that it's OK for parents to force their child into marriage, then I'm sorry

BTW, forced marriage is haraam in Islam and in the same way marriage of a woman without the consent of her parents is also Haraam. 

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