Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

I’m going to have a mental breakdown over OcD

Rate this topic


Recommended Posts

Guest Salam

Salam,

My OCD is destroying my faith. I used to pray 5x a day and still do but get awful thoughts about Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) etc that I don’t wish to repeat. My prayers, ghusl everything etc is corrupted. The worst thing? I stopped watching TV movies, listening to music thinking it would help me but it’s done nothing to help. I pray to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) every single day and I know it’s a test but I also know it isn’t magically going to go away. I have run out of options, my belief in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is strong etc but my thoughts have been destroying my faith and Iman to the point where I’m just not caring anymore, if this continue I feel like it’s going to give me catastrophic consequences. I have no idea where to go, I apologise if this is a bit loaded.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member
1 hour ago, Guest Salam said:

Salam,

My OCD is destroying my faith.  Maybe. Are you 'sure'?

I used to pray 5x a day and still do but get awful thoughts about Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) . . . Do not share these. What you describe is waswas.

 The worst thing? I stopped watching TV movies, listening to music. . .   Bad movies for your nafs, and music that is not 'only instrumental' are both easily tossed aside, and doing so is a good thing.

...thinking it would help me but it’s done nothing to help. I pray to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) every single day and I know it’s a test but I also know it isn’t magically going to go away. I have run out of options, my belief in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is strong etc but my thoughts have been destroying my faith and Iman to the point where I’m just not caring anymore,... This reads more like frustration.

...if this continue I feel like it’s going to give me catastrophic consequences.  lnshallah.

I have no idea where to go,. . .  Start with Ayat 2:153

I apologise if this is a bit loaded. Not loaded. No apologies necessary.

ln boldface.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Salam

I know people say to ignore but I can’t. I spend around two hours a day praying my obligatory prayers only because of these thought I just keep redoing them. I waste my hour long lunch break because I have to keep redoing prayers.
I have quit praying nawafil prayers, salatul layl, stop reading duas. To be honest because of this I feel a lack of spiritual connection, I have prayed prayers before that we’re amazing and felt like I was in a new realm but most of my prayers have nothing but awful thoughts for me. It makes me wish I could die or something I can’t think normally.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On 10/20/2020 at 5:03 PM, Guest Salam said:

Salam,

My OCD is destroying my faith. I used to pray 5x a day and still do but get awful thoughts about Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) etc that I don’t wish to repeat. My prayers, ghusl everything etc is corrupted. The worst thing? I stopped watching TV movies, listening to music thinking it would help me but it’s done nothing to help. I pray to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) every single day and I know it’s a test but I also know it isn’t magically going to go away. I have run out of options, my belief in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is strong etc but my thoughts have been destroying my faith and Iman to the point where I’m just not caring anymore, if this continue I feel like it’s going to give me catastrophic consequences. I have no idea where to go, I apologise if this is a bit loaded.

These things happen. Stopping watching entertainment doesn't do any benefit except listening to music. 

But remember thoughts are thoughts. If you have sexual thoughts about Holy Figures, Have thoughts cursing Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). Realize the first thing is they are just passing thoughts. They don't come from you. They come from your brain chemistry. The lack of serotonin in your brain causes these thoughts in your mind. They attack the things you hold dear. They will tell you you're a mushrik, Show you dead images of your loved ones and upset you in every way. Then you develop rituals to combat them. 

And that is how you stay an OCD patient for life. The first thing to realize is that it's a biological and psychological disease. Educate yourself on the realization that yes these things do upset me but at the end of the day I have the right to decide what upsets me and what does not. I have the right to allow something to affect me. A stimulus is just a stimulus in an environment but RESPONDING to a stimulus is a choice by the organism. Whatever thoughts and images you get in your mind whilst praying and doing wudhu. Keep going in your task no matter how loud the noise of the thoughts get. Your path to Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) cannot be stopped unless you stop it yourself. If you forget what wudhu step or prayer step you've done, then keep a small notepad or make a recording of your voice where you are talking loudly in prayer or saying wudhu steps. Acknowledging a sickness as a sickness is the first step of recovery. In OCD acknowledgement does not mean just knowing you have OCD. It means separating yourself from your disease.

Instead of doing rituals to combat thoughts. Challenge your thoughts in your mind. For example:

You said:   "used to pray 5x a day and still do but get awful thoughts about Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)" -> The first step is not avoiding these thoughts. If you get thoughts cursing Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and it upsets you. Challenge them by saying "Oh it's not from me. Must be the devils playing around me again. Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) knows whats in my heart and soul. He(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) wouldn't want me to be bothered by such things because my faith is strong and no secret of mine is hidden from Him(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). I'm a good Shi'a Muslim. My sickness doesn't stop me from being one. Let these thoughts come and go. They have no power over me nor my opinion of God((سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى))"

You said "I pray to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) every single day and I know it’s a test but I also know it isn’t magically going to go away. " -> If you got stabbed with a knife. Would you just pray for the knife to go away from your stomach or would you go to an ER? The same with psychological diseases. Therapy and Medication are for the mind what Painkillers+Surgeries is for the body. You can pray to Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to aid in your recovery but you cannot sit idle and let the blade be lodged inside you. Take steps to pull it out by doing the things I told you to do. If only prayers helped in medical recoveries then no Muslim worldwide would have hospital bills or insurance.

When I prayed, I'd get images of Hindu Idols with thoughts telling me I'm making Sajda to them instead of Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). It bothered me for a bit where I'd decide to end prayer right then. But then I kept going. No matter what happened, I kept going and going because I have the choice of reaction to it. Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) knows me, Knows every thought and every secret in my heart. If I know that, then why should I doubt anything? It's nonsense.

Also, try getting prescribed medication which will help you like Zoloft but first get diagnosed by a therapist so they can judge you. Then prescribe you if they decide to. Don't medicate yourself.

Hopefully I was of some help having a background with this and supporting many individuals who have OCD who have gotten better through these steps.

Wasalam.

Edited by El Cid
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Salaam Alaykum,

I'm sorry to hear what you go through. Don't care about those thoughts. A well known scholar told me that if person have bad thoughts in his/her mind about religion, Allah, etc., he/she should not overthink because it makes it stronger. He said just leave it. Those thoughts gradually go away. It's easy. I had it before, and I went through what you saying. Be relax and it WILL go away. I promise.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member (With Brothers Forum Membership)

Acknowledge the thoughts for what they are: just thoughts that likely aren't conscious ones and let them evaporate away. Don't dwell on them, because that only makes them worse. Believe it or not, I deal with a lot of the same manner of challenges that you do and getting on new medications helped me out a lot, but first I had to see a doctor and unfortunately I neglected to do this for a while and wound up getting myself in some legal trouble due to some harmful psychiatric medications I had been prescribed. Mental health treatment isn't exactly the best science because humans still don't know how the brain functions well enough yet to find a solution that works for everyone; I've once heard medication therapy referred to as "popping the hood on your car, pouring oil on the engine block and hoping that some makes it into the crankcase". I believe this is the truth because I have tried so many medications before I found specific ones and a dosage that would work with the least amount of negative side effects.

Another thing I do is meditate. Not with mantras or transcendental meditation, but I sit (or lay) quietly with my eyes shut and I allow my focus to be on my breathing. When thoughts arise, I acknowledge them and let them simply "drift away and pop" like soap bubbles in the breeze. It has helped me to quiet my mind and also helped me to be more "present" and focused when saying my five dailies.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Salam

My spiritualality is getting worse and worse. Can you imagine every SINGLE intention you do your mind becomes corrupted? I’m sad to say but apart from around 2 weeks I remember prayer has never been complete in my eyes. Not only is prayer now not easy for me but I feel like prayer is a not a good thing for me anything. It causes me so many issues like ill spend an hour doing wudhu and in prayer I will think of evil people being hung by hooks on there bellies in jahanam, whenever I’m conscious of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) it seems like my mind explodes into bad thoughts about Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). I’ve been practicing for a long time and I know it’s a test but surely one of my life I should atleast be able to think greatly about my Lord. I feel ashamed, meditation is a proven hoax so it can’t help me. I stopped music and even stopped latmiyas. My whole day is either my job or religion. People think I’ve got a mental illness you guys think it I’m making it hard but did the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) make it hard when they called him a madman? 
 

I think there’s two ways this is going to go: either I’ll become so devote I’ll lose outside life lose my family cut of my friends and everything just lay and read all day or I’ll lose religion not care and live an aimless life. 
 

either way I am in trouble. Before you say be moderate look at how moderate Muslims are nowz

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Salam

I’m starting to get frequent anxiety attacks from the evil thoughts. My heart starts beating fast I start crying in wudhu and prayer. Like today it’s taken me over 30 minutes to do wudhu before I got to bed and by the end of it I’m shaking and I’m scaredz

 

for the past 7 months 99% of my prayers have had evil thoughts about Allah or religion. The only way to get rid of these thoughts is by directing these evil thoughts to people or being absent minded in prayer. I have tried so hard to concentrate on words on pronounciation everything but nothing works. I have tried meditating stopped listening to music cutting off my friends who like haram stuff but nothing has ever bought me at ease. I would say I have lost connection t the Ahlulbayt asws and my goal isn’t even to reach Imam Zaman ajft anymore I have lost 90% spirituality.

Nothing has helped me, I think the way it’s going it will end up bad. I can’t ignore these thoughts just because you can. These thoughts give me nightmares troubles in my every day life. I have wasted so much time redoingn wudhu praying and praying because of waswas. 
 

im not saying this as a brag but I literally do everything I can to try please Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) but I don’t know why o can’t handle my weak mind. 
 

I have tried following Islam but all it’s done is destroyed me totally. I feel like I’m going to burn

 

im not going to go to the doctors and take pills filled with gelatine which are going to control my mind. My grandparents didn’t need it so why should i. In fact I refuse to take any form of capsules covered in gelatine. You guys probably know who this is but if not you’ll probably find out

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Salam

It’s been 30 minutes and I can’t even pray the nawafil before fajr. I’m having an anxiety attack I’m crying why is this happening to me WHY WHy WHY I hate my self my faulty brain. It’s destroying my mental health  

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Salams Guest Salam,

I know right now you are in this endless loop of negativity but in order for us too move forward we have too take a step back. Don't be to hard on yourself, you need to relax. Right now you are worrying too much, this overdose of thinking is making everything more difficult. At this point, professional help is the way to go because it seems like this problem has persisted for far too long and because it has been lingering for so long it's becoming harder to battle it. I want you to understand one thing and one thing only, this statement needs to echo through you and that is "This is not you thinking, it's the shaitaan giving you these whispers. None of these evil visions of people being punished in jahanaam is from you. The shaitaan is painting this in your mind" and that is why I too was advised to ignore them completely because when we give in to the these whispers, that's when problems start. We start contemplating them and as a result we begin to believe it is us. Everytime a rush of evilness comes to you it's the shaitaan bringing this to you.

Promise yourself from now on you will ignore these thoughts because as mentioned before it is NOT YOU.

There are two steps we need to take, there is multiple hadiths which refer to the idea that we need to rely on God and take action. First you need to tie the camel and then rely on God. This problem is going to persist for a long time to come until we do something about it and we need to start from now. First step is you need to be determined to fix this, from no on every step you take, every minute that goes past, we are not going to let go of our determination to rid ourselves of this problem. You need to do whatever it takes to stop this.  I've posted this before on a separate post and that is too take a positivity pledge mentioned below;

I shall no longer allow negative

thoughts or feelings

to drain me of my energy.

Instead I shall focus on all the

good that is in my life.

I will think it, feel it and speak it.

By doing so I will send out

vibes of positive energy into

the world and I shall be grateful

for all the wonderful things it

will attract into my life.

I want you to reply to my post with a promise to me and to God that from now you commit to what the above pledge mentioned. In order for me to heal, I had to take action and so should you. I started with this pledge and you should to. Promise me right now that you will take the above pledge.  I am going to mention it one more time, GIVE ME A PROMISE AND GIVE GOD A PROMISE THAT FROM NOW ON YOU WILL TRY YOUR BEST TO BE POSITIVE. The first steps I'm mentioning has to be from you, you need to commit to wanting to rid yourself of this problem and be free from it. Do what the fellow members have advised you to do because many of the advice are meaningful. The second step comes from asking God for help and protection from the shaitaan, dua is so important. Dua is a blessing we have been given and you should take advantage of that. Everyday read a dua that I'll list below;

https://www.al-islam.org/sahifa-al-kamilah-al-sajjadiyya-imam-ali-zayn-al-abidin/17-his-supplication-against-satan

https://www.al-islam.org/sahifa-al-kamilah-al-sajjadiyya-imam-ali-zayn-al-abidin/20-his-supplication-noble-moral-traits-and

http://www.duas.org/tawassul.htm

Everyday read one of these duas and try to read them with your heart and ignore anything that comes from the shaitaan. 

You have to stay committed to this in order to fix the problem, it didn't come all in one night and it isn't going to get fixed in one night either. It takes consistent effort which I believe you are more than capable of doing. Promise me that from now on you will try your best to help yourself.

Note: I am writing a topic on this soon and should be up by tomorrow.

With Duas and Salams.

 

Edited by ShiaofAli12
Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Salam
46 minutes ago, ShiaofAli12 said:

Salams Guest Salam,

I know right now you are in this endless loop of negativity but in order for us too move forward we have too take a step back. Don't be to hard on yourself, you need to relax. Right now you are worrying too much, this overdose of thinking is making everything more difficult. At this point, professional help is the way to go because it seems like this problem has persisted for far too long and because it has been lingering for so long it's becoming harder to battle it. I want you to understand one thing and one thing only, this statement needs to echo through you and that is "This is not you thinking, it's the shaitaan giving you these whispers. None of these evil visions of people being punished in jahanaam is from you. The shaitaan is painting this in your mind" and that is why I too was advised to ignore them completely because when we give in to the these whispers, that's when problems start. We start contemplating them and as a result we begin to believe it is us. Everytime a rush of evilness comes to you it's the shaitaan bringing this to you.

Promise yourself from now on you will ignore these thoughts because as mentioned before it is NOT YOU.

There are two steps we need to take, there is multiple hadiths which refer to the idea that we need to rely on God and take action. First you need to tie the camel and then rely on God. This problem is going to persist for a long time to come until we do something about it and we need to start from now. First step is you need to be determined to fix this, from no on every step you take, every minute that goes past, we are not going to let go of our determination to rid ourselves of this problem. You need to do whatever it takes to stop this.  I've posted this before on a separate post and that is too take a positivity pledge mentioned below;

I shall no longer allow negative

thoughts or feelings

to drain me of my energy.

Instead I shall focus on all the

good that is in my life.

I will think it, feel it and speak it.

By doing so I will send out

vibes of positive energy into

the world and I shall be grateful

for all the wonderful things it

will attract into my life.

I want you to reply to my post with a promise to me and to God that from now you commit to what the above pledge mentioned. In order for me to heal, I had to take action and so should you. I started with this pledge and you should to. Promise me right now that you will take the above pledge.  I am going to mention it one more time, GIVE ME A PROMISE AND GIVE GOD A PROMISE THAT FROM NOW ON YOU WILL TRY YOUR BEST TO BE POSITIVE. The first steps I'm mentioning has to be from you, you need to commit to wanting to rid yourself of this problem and be free from it. Do what the fellow members have advised you to do because many of the advice are meaningful. The second step comes from asking God for help and protection from the shaitaan, dua is so important. Dua is a blessing we have been given and you should take advantage of that. Everyday read a dua that I'll list below;

https://www.al-islam.org/sahifa-al-kamilah-al-sajjadiyya-imam-ali-zayn-al-abidin/17-his-supplication-against-satan

https://www.al-islam.org/sahifa-al-kamilah-al-sajjadiyya-imam-ali-zayn-al-abidin/20-his-supplication-noble-moral-traits-and

http://www.duas.org/tawassul.htm

Everyday read one of these duas and try to read them with your heart and ignore anything that comes from the shaitaan. 

You have to stay committed to this in order to fix the problem, it didn't come all in one night and it isn't going to get fixed in one night either. It takes consistent effort which I believe you are more than capable of doing. Promise me that from now on you will try your best to help yourself.

Note: I am writing a topic on this soon and should be up by tomorrow.

With Duas and Salams.

 

No professional help I’m not taking pills that have gelatine. I don’t want my mind drugged I’m having the same issue I’m unable to pray thanks to a brother I saw mention this on Shiachat. I don’t trust them. If these thoughts are from the shaytaan then I also do not need pills I need to hit my brain on the floor or get kicked in the head and rewire the neurological pathways
 

I’ll check out the duas thanks

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Salam

Another fajr another hour wasted trying to read 2 rakats and I still haven’t done it properly, one hour I could have spent reading tafasirs of Quran or hadiths but no I have to redo prayers over and over like 20-30 times and I still cant. I’m not getting professional help these people don’t believe in God so will see it as a silly and Muslim psychologists will give you haram pills do no thank u I need to be kicked in the head

 

why do I even pray, I feel like praying draws me away from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) not near, it makes me hate myself. U guys says it’s all the tricks of the shaytaan I’ve read duas Quran advice on the internet but it doesn’t work. Telling me to ignore it is very simple advice, imagine I die with the thoughts of baatil prayer in my head then what good is ignoring it.

 

like I said all these months my spiritualality because is dying and nothing is helping

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators
5 hours ago, Guest Salam said:

Telling me to ignore it is very simple advice, imagine I die with the thoughts of baatil prayer in my head then what good is ignoring it.

I don't think you should look at it as baatil. Perform the required parts of the prayer. I understand your frustration if you're not feeling the spiritual benefits, but know that they will not come overnight and aren't the first priority.

Your first priority should be to complete the wajib acts and to avoid the forbidden acts. After that, you will inshaAllah start to reap the spiritual benefits step by step. 

Repeating the prayer over and over again is not the the idea and won't help you in the situation that you are in. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Try this from now one, have someone watch you make wudu and let them decide if you did it right or wrong. If they say you're good then go pray, if not they can simply correct you. Likewise have someone watch you pray and let them tell you if you did it right or wrong. This is what my dad did for me. He watched me pray a couple of times and told me ignore the doubts, so I did and prayed without giving in to the doubts and he told me my salaat was good. So from now one have someone watch you pray and let them guide you through it. After the salaat they can tell you how you went. If you don't want to do this, then pray in jamaah (congregation).

This method helped me a lot as well and I want you to try it. One more thing, okay you don't want professional help but you still need to do what I mentioned in my previous post.

7 hours ago, ShiaofAli12 said:

There are two steps we need to take, there is multiple hadiths which refer to the idea that we need to rely on God and take action. First you need to tie the camel and then rely on God. This problem is going to persist for a long time to come until we do something about it and we need to start from now. First step is you need to be determined to fix this, from no on every step you take, every minute that goes past, we are not going to let go of our determination to rid ourselves of this problem. You need to do whatever it takes to stop this.  I've posted this before on a separate post and that is too take a positivity pledge mentioned below;

I shall no longer allow negative

thoughts or feelings

to drain me of my energy.

Instead I shall focus on all the

good that is in my life.

I will think it, feel it and speak it.

By doing so I will send out

vibes of positive energy into

the world and I shall be grateful

for all the wonderful things it

will attract into my life.

I want you to reply to my post with a promise to me and to God that from now you commit to what the above pledge mentioned. In order for me to heal, I had to take action and so should you. I started with this pledge and you should to. Promise me right now that you will take the above pledge.  I am going to mention it one more time, GIVE ME A PROMISE AND GIVE GOD A PROMISE THAT FROM NOW ON YOU WILL TRY YOUR BEST TO BE POSITIVE. The first steps I'm mentioning has to be from you, you need to commit to wanting to rid yourself of this problem and be free from it. Do what the fellow members have advised you to do because many of the advice are meaningful. The second step comes from asking God for help and protection from the shaitaan, dua is so important. Dua is a blessing we have been given and you should take advantage of that. Everyday read a dua that I'll list below;

https://www.al-islam.org/sahifa-al-kamilah-al-sajjadiyya-imam-ali-zayn-al-abidin/17-his-supplication-against-satan

https://www.al-islam.org/sahifa-al-kamilah-al-sajjadiyya-imam-ali-zayn-al-abidin/20-his-supplication-noble-moral-traits-and

http://www.duas.org/tawassul.htm

I still want you to have an attempt at this.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...