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In the Name of God بسم الله

Syeda wants to Marry non-syed

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1 hour ago, peaceispower said:

if me and my sisters were to get married the guy would need to be syed. 

Salam. You forgot to say if your sisters are older or younger than you. 

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22 hours ago, Hameedeh said:

You forgot to say if your sisters are older or younger than you. 

Are you the youngest sister? If any of your sisters are older than you, your "cultural" parents will not let you marry now. She (they) would need to marry first. 

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23 hours ago, Hameedeh said:

Are you the youngest sister? If any of your sisters are older than you, your "cultural" parents will not let you marry now. She (they) would need to marry first. 

I am the second oldest. I just feel upset that I have to wait around for this when I am so ready and feel at loss, I feel I have no worth or use to be at home where I am treated like a little girl instead of the woman that I am :/

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On 10/19/2020 at 2:22 AM, Hameedeh said:

Are you the youngest sister? If any of your sisters are older than you, your "cultural" parents will not let you marry now. She (they) would need to marry first. 

How? When? What? I’m confused as to what this has to do with her problem...

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3 hours ago, Guest Gamila said:

How? When? What? I’m confused as to what this has to do with her problem...

She said she has an older sister. In her family's culture, the oldest sister needs to marry first. If the middle sister or the youngest sister got married first, ignorant people would claim there was some kind of problem, either with the older sister who did not get married first or with the other sister who needed to rush into marriage before her sister. 

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It’s so disheartening that human beings focus so much on what other people think, how many things have been hindered due to this. I could never base my choices or decisions around what other people think. These same very people are doing their own thing and it’s really not that deep. 
 

I know in my heart that I shouldn’t wait or change who I want to marry based on what the community will think. These so called people have done nothing for me in my life and never will. This is my happiness at stake, I just feel I need my companion with me to help me through trials and tribulations in life and not face these alone at home where nobody is really supporting me. I am not ungrateful for my family but they can’t and don’t support me to the level I require in my life. And of course everyone is dealing with their own problems in the household too. It’s really sad that women are seen as property where decisions have to be made by someone else when in fact the right of choosing a spouse is and should only be solely of the woman. Of course I want my parents blessing and wouldn’t marry without it, but I am not wanting to deal with the “oh you hurt your parents for marrying your spouse” how ridiculous and selfish is that in itself. Instead the focus should be you are failing your child’s happiness on pathetic beliefs

I am venting I know, just so tired of silly cultural beliefs and it makes following Islam so difficult when culture and religion collide. God forgive me.

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