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In the Name of God بسم الله

What are Afghan ppl like?

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I am an Afghan Male Myself living in Australia. The Afghans fall in few groups: Hazaras, Tajik/Herati, Kabuli and Pashto.

In The West, each got their own community. So I am Tajik/Herati, if I go to other community, I would feel like stranger even though we are from the same country.

When I go to my local community which is mixed with Kabuli and Herati, I don't get to see/chat with women so can't tell how they are so I am limited with my interaction with muslim women :cry: so I don't know how they are like. To be honest, I am becoming scared of muslim women in the west generally speaking. (Perhaps because I got fooled by a afghani hijabi girl). May God Show Mercy on me the day I get married and that's if it happens.

The female some wear hijab and some don't. If you're going to marry one, know each other expectation so to know whether suited or not. Then you got the classes, high class, middle and lower classes (in regard to wealth). Just because the person wear hijabs or male prayers, does not mean they're good.

The Male well, I only have few friends that I talk but none of them are afghans even when I go to community, I feel like a stranger and lonely. I suppose you got the bad and the good in every culture and community.

Afghans are family orientated so they care about their parents and family which is good.

I have heard of Afghans divorces cases including my relatives so they're not perfect.

I don't know about the other communities much.

I don't know why Persian hate us so much.. maybe because of the way they grown up or because its war-torn country where you get Afghan fleeing Afghanistan to live in Iran so they might be feel jobs being taken by them.

I apologies if I am wrong then no need to insult (I have to say this because some people will get offended if someone else opinion is not same as their or offends them).

Yeah look I am sorry, I suppose since I am mostly a loner this does not help you much as I have given up trying to fit in even in community.

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1 hour ago, Miss Wonderful said:

How are Afghan men and women like culturally?  I know nothing about this culture/ nationality? Do afgan ppl make better spouses between each other than other nationalities? What’s the scoop y’all. And why do Persians hate them so much?

I've had some Afghani's as friends and classmates. From what I can say is that they have a very tribal mentality when it comes to marriage. They don't inter-marry with other castes such as people from other regions or backgrounds including Syeds. They only marry within their own family, most of them which are very tribal already get engaged to a cousin or relative in their younger years(9-16) and get married in their twenties to that person. I'd also compare them to Vietnamese people as most of whom I was friends with had the same last name which was "Durrani". Most vietnamese people have the last name "Nguyen" which is why I said they are similar. I don't really know what kind of spouses they make but their culture is private and Male dominated where men have the final say. In their native surroundings/tribal areas, Men are even more dominating no matter what their level of education/wealth is. 

I don't know why Persians hate them, could be because of their history? Who knows lol Hopefully I could be of some help.

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2 hours ago, Miss Wonderful said:

How are Afghan men and women like culturally?  I know nothing about this culture/ nationality? Do afgan ppl make better spouses between each other than other nationalities? What’s the scoop y’all. And why do Persians hate them so much?

Most of my interaction with Afghans, which is quite limited, has been positive. By Afghans I mean people from Afghanistan, not the Pashtuns of Pakistan or even the Afghan refugees in Pakistan. I will have a few words to say about them after.

Afghans are generally speaking good Muslims, family oriented people, conservative and sensible. I especially like the Afghan Tajiks or Persians. Most of my interaction with them has been through an Afghan restaurant. BTW, their food is very tasty and is all the rage in many parts of Toronto, but it is quite heavy.

As for Pashtuns in Pakistan, they are generally good people, religious, conservative, family oriented like Afghans. But they haven’t done enough to assimilate into mainstream Pakistani society, especially on the language issue. Their Urdu is very poor, and even when they do speak Urdu it is with a very strong accent. There needs to be more effort to Urdu-ize KPK province.

Pashtuns are also very susceptible to ethnic nationalism and leftism. First it was the ANP and now its PTM. Likewise, they are susceptible to religious extremism and radicalization, as evidenced by groups like TTP, IS-K, and the Waziristan and Sawat insurrections against the Pakistani State. They also get very easily offended and are hyper sensitive.

Another thing is some strong element of sexual deviancy “bacha bazi” that is apparently quite strong in Afghan (well, basically Pashtun) culture. This isn’t just some ethnic stereotype, it really is part of their culture although some positive steps have been taken to reduce it. It obviously predates their conversion to Islam, but they converted centuries upon centuries ago, and by now this deviancy should have been eradicated completely. That it has persisted for so long is very tragic.

Edited by Cherub786
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2 minutes ago, Cherub786 said:

 

Another thing is some strong element of sexual deviancy “bacha bazi” that is apparently quite strong in Afghan (well, basically Pashtun) culture. This isn’t just some ethnic stereotype, it really is part of their culture although some positive steps have been taken to reduce it. It obviously predates their conversion to Islam, but they converted centuries upon centuries ago, and by now this deviancy should have been eradicated completely. That it has persisted for so long is very tragic.

Yeah that is very disturbing. I remember when we had to read "The Kite Runner" in school. Repulsed me to the core.

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On 10/9/2020 at 10:16 PM, El Cid said:

Yeah that is very disturbing. I remember when we had to read "The Kite Runner" in school. Repulsed me to the core.

 

On 10/9/2020 at 10:19 PM, Ali_Hussain said:

Al Jazeera have a documentary about it, you can find it on YouTube. 

 

On 10/9/2020 at 10:30 PM, El Cid said:

No thanks lol Life gets better if you avoid disturbing documenteries except the ones from Vice lol 

l have heard of this book, but never read it. Also, l do not remember what film l saw about young, male dancers 15 to 20 years ago, but l thought it was disgusting, too. l use to be on an Afghan internet site long before coming to S.C, and this subject would come up ever so often --although it was described as a Pashtun practice.

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7 hours ago, hasanhh said:

 

 

l have heard of this book, but never read it. Also, l do not remember what film l saw about young, male dancers 15 to 20 years ago, but l thought it was disgusting, too. l use to be on an Afghan internet site long before coming to S.C, and this subject would come up ever so often --although it was described as a Pashtun practice.

Well, It is what it is kind of thing at the end of the day. 

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Guest Saturday

Salaam! I'm an Afghan woman living in America. :grin:

On 10/9/2020 at 8:11 PM, Miss Wonderful said:

How are Afghan men and women like culturally?  I know nothing about this culture/ nationality? Do afghan ppl make better spouses between each other than other nationalities?

I have some mixed Afghan family members. Some are half Moroccan, or part Mexican, half Filipino, half white, and an Afghan family friend recently married a Black Muslim. They are all wonderful. As an Afghan myself, I am Pashtun from one side (Syed) and Tajik on the other (non-Syed). I am completely fine with marrying outside of my race, and to be honest I think a lot of other Afghans in America might feel the same way (because in some areas there just aren't that many of us at all!) Afghan spouses would likely have more in common with other Afghans in regards to lifestyle and food (and inside jokes), but more important is marrying a good Muslim (and sharing cultures is always fun). The Afghans I've encountered who marry good Muslims are always happier. Afghan food is amazing, you should try it sometime. :eat:

 

In regards to Afghan culture, Afghans are a lot of fun from my perspective. I didn't grow up around many other Afghans, but I know our culture is very "warm." Afghans visit each other's homes, hug each other, and try to keep in touch with their family members. So basically, family people. :discussion: (Side note, but Pashtuns have a lot of pride!) As an Afghan living in America, I (and other Afghans I know) identify as Central Asian (not Desi, not Middle Eastern, not Arab, etc.) 

 

I don't think Afghan families around here usually pressure children to become lawyers, doctors, or engineers (I know that's a stereotype for brown families). Of course, they might encourage them to be high achievers. Like Meedy said, some Afghan girls wear headscarves and some don't. Some might decide to/want to wear it even if most of their relatives don't wear it. :muslima:

 

One time I read a joke on the Internet I think, where someone said "Afghans aren't racist to anyone except themselves." :cry: However, I love other Afghans regardless of what group they're from (I have some Hazara friends who are so sweet). I don't mean any disrespect, but you might see this kind of prejudice among the previous generations unfortunately (those who lived in Afghanistan). Younger Afghan Americans seem to just be grateful to have Afghan friends around here at all. 

 

An estimated 99.7% of Afghans are Muslim. Afghans are conservative, but they retain some traditions from Westernization. By this I'm mainly referring to when men and women sometimes dance together (Attan dance) at weddings. Speaking of which, Afghan weddings tend to be extravagant (too extravagant in my opinion). 


If you'd like to try and make some Afghan food yourself, feel free to try recipes from Helen Saberi's book "Afghan Food & Cookery." I think she mentions white wine vinegar in some recipes (not sure why) but I'm sure substitutes for that exist. 

 

Thank you for the interesting questions! :bye:

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Oh I completely forgot to mention: Farsi and Pashto are the most commonly spoken languages in Afghanistan. Some immigrants from Afghanistan may be able to speak some Arabic if (for example) they went to Kuwait before coming to America. 

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1 hour ago, Guest Saturday said:

 

If you'd like to try and make some Afghan food yourself, feel free to try recipes from Helen Saberi's book "Afghan Food & Cookery." I think she mentions white wine vinegar in some recipes (not sure why) but I'm sure substitutes for that exist. 

 

Thank you for the interesting questions! :bye:

Salam,

The popular opinion among Shias would be that white wine vinegar is halal.

Sistani :

 

3 Question: There is this vinegar that is made from wine, in the sense that it was wine and then, through a manufacturing process, changed into vinegar. Therefore, the label on the bottle reads: “wine vinegar” as opposed to the vinegar made from barley or other items. One of the signs [of differentiating between “wine vinegar” and the wine itself is that] the bottles of this vinegar are displayed in the area of vinegar, and it has never happened that these bottles are placed on the shelves of wines. Moreover, there is no difference between such vinegar and the vinegar made from dates for example. So, can this wine which has turned into vinegar be considered vinegar under the rule of change (istihalah)?

Answer: If the name “vinegar” can be applied in the view of common people upon that product, as has been assumed in the question, the same rule governing vinegar would apply to it. [That is, it is pure as well as permissible.]

https://www.sistani.org/english/qa/01178/

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Salaam,

Thank you for letting me know (I appreciate the link too). Another reason I found the mention of vinegar in the recipe book confusing is because I don't recall that kind of vinegar being used in many Afghan dishes I'm familiar with :confused: I might be mistaken though, because there are still Afghan dishes I haven't tried. I know for sure I've tasted apple cider vinegar in either salata or with chickpeas.

 

Speaking of food, I'll elaborate that Afghans really like yogurt, garlic, tomato, and mint flavors in their food (mantu, aush, shola, banjan) and we love meat and bread. Afghans don't usually cook food to be too spicy, and they eat a lot of rice. Some of my favorite foods are bolani, shorwa, and Afghan naan. I also love qaimaq chai and sheer pira. @Miss Wonderful Feel free to ask if there are any other questions you might have! :bye:

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On 10/10/2020 at 4:46 AM, Meedy said:

I don't know why Persian hate us so much.. maybe because of the way they grown up or because its war-torn country where you get Afghan fleeing Afghanistan to live in Iran so they might be feel jobs being taken by them.

Salam this type of is only visible in social media as a oral war between pan Iranians & radical wahabists like Taliban & ISIS fans of Afghanistan that majority of them  are residents of abroad Iran and Afghanistan which they are  working as members of MKO terrorists & few pan Iranian group in name of Iranians  & pro Taliban and ISIS in  name of Afghan people   that both groups are backing  by KSA financial backup but you can't see such level of hate inside Iran between Iranians & Afghan community of Iran & few Iranians that traveled to Afghanistan faced welcoming of Afghans which they faced minor social misconceptions in Taliban controlled area while they were making documentaries .

On 10/10/2020 at 5:30 AM, El Cid said:

I don't know why Persians hate them, could be because of their history? Who knows lol Hopefully I could be of some help.

It's an old rumor for a long time which spread like other rumors that KSA backed channels are spreading about relation & connection of Iranians & Iraqi people nowadays , anyway presence of Afghans in Iran after Iran -Iraq war & internal wars of Afghanistan was in field of hard jobs like constructions that was not a treat for job of Persians that were seeking official & easy jobs after graduating from university but nowadays the enemies of both Iran & Afghanistan by using media like movies & social media are trying to give high priority to previous local goverments of Afghanistan & introduce Persians as invaders to sovereignty of Afghanistan although in reality in most of time of history Afghan people & their local governments were close allies of Iran which only one time in Safavid era ,Afghan wariors attacked to Iran & conqured Isfahan in response of cruelty of Safavid governor of Afghanistan that leads to fall of Safavids then in Qajar era Afghanistan separated by British colonizer army for making a barrier for protecting of occupied India for stopping  future influence of Russia & Iran that after this separation British colonizers tried to create fake enmity between Persians & Afghans for stopping of joining them together against  Britain Interests in India that this policy is continued until now by any group like America & KSA backed groups by putting pan Iranians & pro wahabi & Taliban Afghans in social media as puppets of America & KSA against Iran & Afghanistan & people of both countries. 

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