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In the Name of God بسم الله

Why can’t I cry for Imam Hussain (as)?

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  • Advanced Member
16 minutes ago, Mariam17 said:

Assalamu alaykum everyone, Insha’Allah you are in the best of health. 

Walaykom Alsalam, Insha’Allah you are as well sister. 

17 minutes ago, Mariam17 said:

I was reluctant to make this topic because I feel quite ashamed that I’m unable to shed any tears for the Ahlulbayt and Imam Hussain (عليه السلام).  I’ve tried to solve this issue on my own but it seems so far I haven’t succeeded.

I am glad you chose to make this topic nonetheless, because it is one I am sure many lovers of Imam Hussein ((عليه السلام)) have struggled with, including myself. 

The most important thing is to not be saddened over your lack of success, but rather motivated by your pure and sincere intention. 

20 minutes ago, Mariam17 said:

This is my first Muharram actually acknowledging what took place during the tragic events leading up to the 10th of Muharram and Ashura.

This is indeed a very special month of Muharram for you, considering that it is your first! I must say that it is quite painful, shocking, and surreal when first reading the tragedies of Imam Hussein ((عليه السلام)) it can at times be difficult to show any form of emotion, because a person can be filled with a sense of disbelief as to how such an immaculate man and his friends/family can be treated this way, how it can all be hidden. The dearest to RasulAllah, butchered on the plains of Karbala. 

Therefore, as you process all these tragic occurrences I would say to never judge your pain, love, and overall reaction to these painful realities with the shedding of tears, or your imagination/idea of what a proper mourning should be like. Everyone deals with tragedy in their own way and while time passes, the tragedy unravels greater, or they come to a different perspective, the methodology or reaction when remembering Imam Hussein ((عليه السلام)) May indeed differ. However, it is critical to note that the love, pain, and longing to support the Imam through a pure intention remains one and a reality imbedded in the core of the heart of every believer. 

29 minutes ago, Mariam17 said:

don’t know why but whenever I watch lectures, although inside I deeply feel pain, I cannot shed any tears.

This is completely fine and by no means a scale to judge the love you have for Imam Hussein, or the significance of protest you may show towards the dismay of his martyrdom. There are countless Hadiths I have come across regarding the significance of shedding a single tear, stating that if a person sheds a tear the size of a fly’s wing, [such and such reward] or the grand reward a lover receives for shedding a tear, etc. 

Considering this Haidth at face value it is critical to note that the Hadith does not mention drowning in ones own tears, rather shedding a tear that amount to the size of the wing of a fly, highlighting to us that it is not the amount of tears we shed, nor the wails we let out, rather the sincere love and pain we possess towards our dear Imam within our hearts. 

36 minutes ago, Mariam17 said:

I don’t know if this is because over the years I have become numb due to life circumstances, or, Allah forbid, my heart has become hard.

I can confidently say that your heart most certainly has not gone hard, but to the contrary becomes softer with the passing of the days, as the stories of the Ahlulbayt become more vividly clearer and as their teaching are better cemented within your heart. Indeed your concern and intention by starting this thread and seeking a solution to a supposed issue you feel is more then apt an indication of the great sincerity you carry and the heartfelt conviction you have towards the Imam and his grand tragedy.

Please do not be hard on yourself, nor consider that the way you are mourning is inadequate, or a sign of insincerity. As you know many individuals who lose someone very dear to them (May Allah prolong the life of all your loved ones) enter a state of shock to which they don’t even shed a single tear, and in some cases are completely fine, until weeks or months of the passing of the tragedy. Taking this into consideration, it is your first Muharram sister, your first tragedy.

Things are still beginning to settle in and you’ll soon come to realize, when Muharram has passed and you continue on this journey of love and sacrifice, you’ll break down in tears as the martyrdom of Imam Hussein truly settles in with you as a reality, regardless of all that you have that firm conviction, sincere intention, and unequivocal love towards the Imam and belief in the sacrifice he made towards Islam - let that be the measure in which you scale the sincerity of your heart. 

45 minutes ago, Mariam17 said:

My feeling instead is anger. Anger at myself for previously being ignorant, anger at those who lied and hid the story of Ashura etc. Instead of being able to cry I’m filled with the urge to do action, any form to make sure I don’t let down the Imam of our time (عليه السلام) like Imam Hussain (عليه السلام) was let down by people.

Mashallah, there is a beautiful Hadith which I remember that says, the martyrdom of Imam Hussein is like a fire which burns in the heart of every believer and one which will not be extinguished until the day of judgement. My dear sister you are a true lover of Imam Hussein! Don’t be hard on yourself or doubt what you have given towards the Imam in support, as long as you are doing what you can and intend to support the Ahlulbayt (because through their support you gain the mercy of Allah) there is no need to fret, nor question yourself, and of course feel like you have let down the Progeny of our beloved Prophet (S) in any form whatsoever. 

And truly it is a lesson in and of itself, to read the fervor you have accumulated from a love and pain so strong, and an undoubted sincerity towards the Imam that all you seek to do is give and give, but don’t undermine what you have already given and the process in which you will continue to do so. 

Some say it is not a race, rather a marathon, but I say it is neither a marathon, nor a race. It is rather your own unique and significant journey that is marked by the pure intention of your heart, the conviction of your soul, and the willingness you have to sacrifice for justice. 

54 minutes ago, Mariam17 said:

Because I have to hide my faith in my house I cannot openly participate in Muharram in lamenting the events, which also discourages me from expressing my emotions out of fear being questioned etc.

I would advise you, but truly all that I can do is commend you. My respected sister remember all those who have had to hide their faith and love, be it through the stories of the Quran, through ensuring that the message of the Ahlulbayt reaches us, and all that may occupy the struggle of the lover and sincere under difficult circumstance. You are unique in your struggles, and consider this not a setback, but a means towards gaining a very special connection with the Imam. Was he not alone on the plains of Karbala with no supporter, or aid? Are you not alone in the depths of your home with nobody to share the tragedy of our Imam with? Reflect on this and know that your tribulation is not something light, rather extraordinary.

58 minutes ago, Mariam17 said:

I’m scared this will affect my iman. My family aren’t practicing so of course there is the added temptations with the pressure to conform to their way of life.

Never have doubt in your faith, you are different in the sense that you no longer need someone to grab you by the hand and guide you towards right and wrong, all has tested your heart and you have proven to be a true believer, it is not in accordance with the quality of a believer and lover of Imam Hussein to sit and question their love, or faith. It is time for you to lead like your Imam and to inadvertently show the beauty of piety, the beauty of sincerity, and above all the beauty that Lady Zainab saw and that we all have glimpsed through the sacrifice of Imam Hussein, in the way that it has touched all our hearts and in the way it motivates us to never bow down to humiliation, or allow our hearts to be tainted by this would and its cheap allurements.

There is much more that has been left unsaid and that could be said, however, the love of Allah that pushes us towards the love his great servant Imam Hussein can never be truly inundated through words, rather undergone through experience. I pray that you never doubt the sincerity and love which you have for Allah and the Ahlulbayt, and I also ask you to remain on your dignified journey in which you have chosen above this fleeting world. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you and May you Insha’Allah be like the Imam, a leader for this generation and the generations to come, and a supporter of Imam Mahdi in the preparation of his coming and of those who are alongside him in the advent of his return.

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  • Advanced Member

@Mohammad313Ali Assalamu alaykum brother.

Honestly jazak'Allah for your kind words and advice. Reading your response helped me shed a tear for our beloved Imam Hussain (عليه السلام). I was mainly fearful that my heart had become hard because I came across a video by Islamic Pulse which I follow titled "Why I can't cry for Imam Hussain (as)" in which they stated the reason is because your heart has become hard, which scared me:

https://youtu.be/4PVe8ZHkOw4

1 hour ago, Mohammad313Ali said:

I must say that it is quite painful, shocking, and surreal when first reading the tragedies of Imam Hussein ((عليه السلام)) it can at times be difficult to show any form of emotion, because a person can be filled with a sense of disbelief as to how such an immaculate man and his friends/family can be treated this way, how it can all be hidden. The dearest to RasulAllah, butchered on the plains of Karbala. 

This is so true. When I first knew that the Prophet's (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) grandson was martyred, without the detail I now have as a Shia, when I was "Sunni" I was so shocked that this actually happened that I couldn't believe it was real. I tried to search up instantly the shiekhs that I previously listened to like Nouman Ali Khan, Omar Suleiman etc and what they said about this tragic event and there was nothing. I also recently told my friends who are "Sunni" and who don't know I am Shia (I say "Sunni" because to be honest we were literally just born in that sect and inherited it) about the story of Karbala and they were all shocked as well that this could even happen.

There is so much misinformation it's unimaginable. I believe most of my friends would become Shia if they were presented the facts and evidences but sadly sometimes the loudest mouth overpowers the truth. I've introduced slowly some videos to them from sayed Hussain Makke, Islamic pulse etc.

Alhamdulillah there are so much resources and lectures to choose from that I don't know where to start. It's a bit overwhelming so I feel I'll just start with the basics and read from al-islam.org 

I pray that we are all able to answer the call that Imam Hussain (عليه السلام) made before his dying moments. Insha'Allah our words manifest into actions and we not only wait for the Imam of our time (عليه السلام) but prepare for him.

Please make du'a that my family and close friends become Shia insha'Allah.

Once again, jazak'Allah brother.

 

Edited by Mariam17
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  • Advanced Member
1 hour ago, Mariam17 said:

Please make du'a that my family and close friends become Shia insha'Allah.

Inshallah I will do sister and it is with your actions that you can embody what it means to be a Shia and lover of Imam Hussein ((عليه السلام)) through your character you can propagate to them the change that this school of thought can generate within us. I know that they’re in good hands. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you all :) 

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  • Advanced Member

:bismillah:

@Mariam17

Sister its Okay, as long as you feel sadness for Imam al Husayn (عليه السلام),

There is a Hadith in Al Amali, written by Al Saduq (رضي الله عنه), p.99,

Someone came to Imam al Sadiq (عليه السلام) and asked him about weeping (not Crying) about Imam al Husayn (عليه السلام), 

The Imam (عليه السلام) replied, whoever weeps than for him/her is Jannah.

Again, as long as you feel sadness for Sayed al Shuhada (عليه السلام), its Okay, 

And when you cry about anything else, than remember the Imam while you are crying,

Hopefully this helps you sister.

Edited by Ansur Shiat Ali
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Its okay if you can not cry, I can't so easily either. The objective is to mourn when the Ahl al Bayt (عليه السلام) mourn. We can do that by wearing black, a sort of protest against the biggest cruelty on the human race. We can mourn through these days by not laughing, talking less, not wearing new clothes, postponing celebrations like birthdays and weddings, there are so many ways to express our "mo'waddah" (as Quran puts it), the special love for the Household of the Prophet ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)).

 

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Asslaamun Alaykum,

Dear Sister,

La Ikraha fi deen, don't worry about not being able to cry or try to make yourself cry, we all have to learn to be kind to ourselves and experience life, let's not force it upon ourselves. I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

The first time people shed sincere tears it is a revolution within, may we all experience this one time at least with all sincerity in our lives. (ameen)

W s

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  • 3 months later...
  • Basic Members

Salamo aleykom

I don`t say that this is the case. But sins and rizq may effect the tears on our beloved Imam Al-Hussayn (عليه السلام) So doing istighfaar and leaving all sins, and having a look on the ingridients of the stuff one is eating may inshAllah help.

May Allah protect you and may He give uss all increased tawfiq in shedding tears on the Mosaaib of Ahlulbayt (عليه السلام)

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