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In the Name of God بسم الله

“Only God Can Judge” IslamicPulse video discussion

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  • Advanced Member

Salam, I would like us to discuss this video 

 

This has been an issue for me for years now. When my old friends would do sinful things, I would tell them that this is wrong and I'd almost always get a very bad reaction. They feel attacked when I tell them to not smoke, cross the line with girls, got to hookah clubs, masturbate, smoke marijuana, brag, etc. They would rather I just look the other way and not say anything, or even better, join in. Some of them will tell me not to judge, some will argue that the sin is actually not bad, some will agree just to make me quiet. One person's attitude is so bad that they say they don't care. They acknowledge that they're doing something wrong, but they just don't care, they don't regret it, and they'd do it again if they could (almost a direct quote). As a result of my forbidding evil a lot of them started to avoid me for a while and complain about me. After wising up I got tired of them and distanced myself from them, shutting down any attempt from them to rebuild the bridge. With the offending friends I've kept, they just hide their vices from me or don't talk about them as freely.

What was I supposed to do? Should I have parted ways sooner? Should I have rebuked them every time they crossed the line? Should I have made my tone not as a harsh admonishment but as a gentle reminder?

Nowadays I'll tend to stay quiet. I already know how what I say will be received, and there is a risk of them being annoyed with religion altogether so I play it safe. It's like going to a gay pride parade with a speaker and telling them they're sinning

 

What are your experiences with this issue? Please share so we can learn from one another

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  • Advanced Member

If it is a spectrum between being secular and being Salafi, the big question is at what point do you find the middle of the road?
I think it would be easier if there was just one issue, but with my self I know that with some issues I am closer to the Salafi and with some issues I am closer to the secular.

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, guest 2025 said:

What was I supposed to do? Should I have parted ways sooner? Should I have rebuked them every time they crossed the line? Should I have made my tone not as a harsh admonishment but as a gentle reminder?

Walaikum salam brother.

At the end of the day your friends represent who you are and either draw you closer or further away from Jannah. It’s good you’ve become distanced.

Be gentle but don’t lose your values. Only you know how to deal with the situation best.

The Quran explains this best in (3:159)

Quote

It is by Allah’s mercy that you are gentle with them; and had you been harsh and hardhearted, surely they would’ve scattered from around you. So excuse them, and plead for forgiveness and consult them in their affairs, and once you are resolved, put your trust in Allah. Indeed Allah loves those who trust in Him.

But at the end of the day brother you nor any of us are like our beloved Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) so all we can do is aspire to this ayah. Only Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) guides, so don’t hit your head against a brick wall for the “deaf, blind and dumb” as stated in the Quran.

 

In terms of below, I have a lot but in order to respect their privacy and not expose their sins I shall not name. However, these include very close relatives which is disheartening. I’m not a saint but I wish my family would practice their deen and we could pray together one day. That’s not even going on to the fact that I can’t even tell my brothers about Shiasm (which they don’t know I am and are very against it). In terms of relatives just remember Silat al Rahm. In your case just stick to your morals brother and Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) will bring better friends and guide those who want to be guided.

Hope this helped.

2 hours ago, guest 2025 said:

What are your experiences with this issue?

Edited by Mariam17
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