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SoRoUsH

Easy Divorce (Al-Khul')

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Salam, 

The following are three saheeh narrations from Al-Kafi.

عَلِيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ جَمِيلٍ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ مُسْلِمٍ عَنْ أَبِي جَعْفَرٍ ع قَالَ إِذَا قَالَتِ الْمَرْأَةُ لِزَوْجِهَا جُمْلَةَ لَا أُطِيعُ لَكَ أَمْراً مُفَسَّراً أَوْ غَيْرَ مُفَسَّرٍ حَلَّ لَهُ مَا أَخَذَ مِنْهَا وَ لَيْسَ لَهُ عَلَيْهَا رَجْعَةٌ 

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father from ibn abu ‘Umayr from Jamil from Muhammad ibn Muslim who has said the following: “Abu Ja‘far, ‘Alayhi al-Salam, has said that if a woman says to her husband in general, ‘I will not obey any of your orders with or without explanation, then it is lawful for him to receive payment and he cannot do ruju’ (go back to her).’”

 

 وَ بِإِسْنَادِهِ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع قَالَ الْخُلْعُ وَ الْمُبَارَاةُ تَطْلِيقَةٌ بَائِنٌ وَ هُوَ خَاطِبٌ مِنَ الْخُطَّابِ 

Through the same chain of narrators as that of the previous Hadith the following is narrated: “Abu ‘Abd Allah, ‘Alayhi al-Salam, has said, ‘Al -Khul‘ and al-Mubarat (denouncing) is of the kind of divorce which makes the parties become strangers to each other and he becomes one of those who may propose marriage.’”

 

In a nutshell, once a woman reaches a point that she longer would obey her husband, without giving any explanations, she can pay her husband for him to divorce her.. Once a payment is received, divorce is finalized. 

 

عَلِيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ أَبِي أَيُّوبَ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ مُسْلِمٍ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع قَالَ الْمُخْتَلِعَةُ الَّتِي تَقُولُ لِزَوْجِهَا اخْلَعْنِي وَ أَنَا أُعْطِيكَ مَا أَخَذْتُ مِنْكَ فَقَالَ لَا يَحِلُّ لَهُ أَنْ يَأْخُذَ مِنْهَا شَيْئاً حَتَّى تَقُولَ وَ اللَّهِ لَا أُبِرُّ لَكَ قَسَماً وَ لَا أُطِيعُ لَكَ أَمْراً وَ لآَذَنَنَّ فِي بَيْتِكَ بِغَيْرِ إِذْنِكَ وَ لَأُوطِئَنَّ فِرَاشَكَ غَيْرَكَ فَإِذَا فَعَلَتْ ذَلِكَ مِنْ غَيْرِ أَنْ يَعْلَمَهَا حَلَّ لَهُ مَا أَخَذَ مِنْهَا وَ كَانَتْ تَطْلِيقَةً بِغَيْرِ طَلَاقٍ يَتْبَعُهَا فَكَانَتْ بَائِناً بِذَلِكَ وَ كَانَ خَاطِباً مِنَ الْخُطَّابِ 

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father from ibn abu ‘Umayr from abu Ayyub from Muhammad ibn Muslim who has said the following: “Abu ‘Abd Allah, ‘Alayhi al-Salam, has said, ‘The woman who is divorced by means of al-Khul‘, who says to her husband, ‘Divorce me and I pay what I have received from you.’ He (the Imam) said, ‘It is not lawful for him to receive such payment until she says, ‘By Allah, I will not honor your turn, will not obey any of your orders, will allow people to enter your house without your permission and will allow others to sleep in your bed.’ When she does this without informing him, then receiving payment from her is lawful, she is divorced once without any other divorce to follow, and she becomes a stranger. He is then one of those who can propose marriage with her.’”

 

 

Points to note

  • There's no need to "hit" the wife to prevent a divorce. 
  • There's no sign that any force or coercion is required to prevent a divorce. 
  • Once the woman has made up her mind, she can proceed with al-Khul' and divorce her husband. 

 

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For the past ten years, at least, many females at ShiaChat have complained that their husbands would not give them a divorce. Hopefully they will read this topic. 

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59 minutes ago, SoRoUsH said:

It boggles my mind, why would a man want to stay with a woman, who doesn't love him and/or doesn't want to stay with him. 

Perhaps it's a power struggle. He doesn't want her to get what she wants, because then she would be happy.

Divorce is a very bad thing if it breaks up a family, but a couple who are not able to reconcile (or are unwilling to work out their problem) are clearly incompatible and, as a last resort, probably need a divorce.

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1 hour ago, SoRoUsH said:

It boggles my mind, why would a man want to stay with a woman, who doesn't love him and/or doesn't want to stay with him. 

Control. Abuse of power over a woman. Man can get on with his life and remarry, woman can't, so let's make her life miserable by keeping her tied down.

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2 hours ago, Hameedeh said:

For the past ten years, at least, many females at ShiaChat have complained that their husbands would not give them a divorce. Hopefully they will read this topic. 

l kinda missed this. lt is sad in its way.

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2 hours ago, SoRoUsH said:

.                                                                                                                       care about

It boggles my mind, why would a man want to stay with a woman, who doesn't lo^ve him and/or doesn't want to stay with him. 

The word "love" is the same as "genius". So ill defined as to be meaningless.

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3 hours ago, starlight said:

Control. Abuse of power over a woman. Man can get on with his life and remarry, woman can't, so let's make her life miserable by keeping her tied down.

There was a woman in Malaysia l read about several years ago where (EDITED) had refused to divorce her for the past 25 years.

Edited by Mahdavist
Inappropriate language

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2 hours ago, hasanhh said:

There was a woman in Malaysia l read about several years ago where (EDITED) had refused to divorce her for the past 25 years.

Our marjas need to revise this system. I know of another woman whose husband abandoned her, went to another country and stopped all contact and she was able to obtain divorce after 18 years. 

Edited by Mahdavist

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12 minutes ago, starlight said:

Our marjas need to revise this system. I know of another woman whose husband abandoned her, went to another country and stopped all contact and she was able to obtain divorce after 18 years. 

I'm not certain but I believe after four months of distance, the wife can take the husband to court for divorce. 

And again, I'm not certain, but I think if the husband disappears for one year, the wife can be divorced. 

What I do know is that there are numerous narrations detailing all aspects of divorce, for example in the 6th volume of Kulayni's al-Kafi. 

Edited by SoRoUsH

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7 minutes ago, SoRoUsH said:

And again, I'm not certain, but I think if the husband disappears for one year, the wife can be divorced

Seven years! But only in theory. The ground reality is what I told you. Maybe marjas and there reps don't even realise what women go through. In this case the rep was almost proudly declaring that after it had been 17 years since her husband had disappeared and they had been trying to obtain the divorce through marja but after 17 years "Ayatullah Sistani said look more for him for another six months" so it came to 18 years. 18 years of being suspended midair! 

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47 minutes ago, SoRoUsH said:

And again, I'm not certain, but I think if the husband disappears for one year, the wife can be divorced. 

ln the US, this is legislated as 'abandonment.'

35 minutes ago, starlight said:

Seven years!

This is to be declared dead, in the US. No info about for 7 years.

Edited by hasanhh

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As salaamun aleikum,

Id be afraid to come back to a woman i walked out and and tossed aside without a shred of respect, care or concern for...and he SHOULD be scared to come back!

Yeah, thats definetly not ok for her to have been left hanging for that long a period of time. I mean, seriously?? I know random stuff  "could" happen, like a man ending up in jail someehere with no way to contact his wife, but those weird random things are the exception, not the rule...in all reality, he just bailed on her or possibly (Allah forbid) died somehow, but how much of a womans life should she lose in waiting in a situation like this??

I cant believe this hasnt been dealt with and taken into consideration by the maraja...

Super disapointed in our leadership here...

I mean, what ARE women in their eyes when theres major issues like this that have been overlooked and pribably happen more often than we know? 

W/s

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23 minutes ago, shia farm girl said:

I cant believe this hasnt been dealt with and taken into consideration by the maraja...

Super disapointed in our leadership here...

I mean, what ARE women in their eyes when theres major issues like this that have been overlooked and pribably happen more often than we know

So many issues 

1. A man has the right to demand money for khula,if he asks for say, thousands of dollars way more than a woman can ever pay the system will do nothing to help.

2. The cut off period for abandonment is 7 years, if the husband keeps showing up every 6 years or so for minimal contact she cannot ask for divorce on grounds of abandonment.

I often think about the woman who was able to get a divorce after 18 years. God knows if she had enough finances....all her good years wasted. Who will answer for those? What if she fell into sin because the halal way out was made too difficult for her? Every person in the chain will be answerable,  not just her-her husband foremost but also the marja and the reps who were involved. 

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25 minutes ago, shia farm girl said:

Id be afraid

Likely true, but some people don't think normally.

Where l use to live, this couple across the street have a daughter who is -in my opinion- mentally infirmed.

She married her boyfriend who even then beat her. Even put her in the hospital a few times. Her attitude? "But l Iove him."

Iike the oId foIks said, "You can't deal with stupidity."

Added: l forgot to 'submit reply' about an hour ago.

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As far as I can tell, there are three types of divorces: 

1. Regular Talaq

  • The separation seems to be amicable between the couples, and the man could continue to provide benefits to his ex-wife. 

2. Al-Khul' 

  • The separation is initiated by the wife, and she wants to end her marriage. In this case, she must pay an agreed upon amount to her husband for her release. The amount can be higher than her dowry. In this type, it seems only the wife wants to separate. Afterwards, the woman is not entitled to any benefits from her ex-husband. 

3. Al-Mubarat

  • Both husband and wife, mutually, dislike one another and want to end the marriage. The woman can pay an agreed upon amount, less than one's dowry, and they can separate. 

 

For all types of divorce, the waiting period and the presence of two witnesses are necessary. 

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9 hours ago, SoRoUsH said:

I'm not certain but I believe after four months of distance, the wife can take the husband to court for divorce. 

And again, I'm not certain, but I think if the husband disappears for one year, the wife can be divorced. 

What I do know is that there are numerous narrations detailing all aspects of divorce, for example in the 6th volume of Kulayni's al-Kafi. 

I must correct myself here, since I just read the following two saheeh narrations: 

 عَلِيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ حَمَّادٍ عَنِ الْحَلَبِيِّ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع أَنَّهُ سُئِلَ عَنِ الْمَفْقُودِ فَقَالَ الْمَفْقُودُ إِذَا مَضَى لَهُ أَرْبَعُ سِنِينَ بَعَثَ الْوَالِي أَوْ يَكْتُبُ إِلَى النَّاحِيَةِ الَّتِي هُوَ غَائِبٌ فِيهَا فَإِنْ لَمْ يُوجَدْ لَهُ أَثَرٌ أَمَرَ الْوَالِي وَلِيَّهُ أَنْ يُنْفِقَ عَلَيْهَا فَمَا أَنْفَقَ عَلَيْهَا فَهِيَ امْرَأَتُهُ قَالَ قُلْتُ فَإِنَّهَا تَقُولُ فَإِنِّي أُرِيدُ مَا تُرِيدُ النِّسَاءُ قَالَ لَيْسَ ذَلِكَ لَهَا وَ لَا كَرَامَةَ فَإِنْ لَمْ يُنْفِقْ عَلَيْهَا وَلِيُّهُ أَوْ وَكِيلُهُ أَمَرَهُ أَنْ يُطَلِّقَهَا فَكَانَ ذَلِكَ عَلَيْهَا طَلَاقاً وَاجِباً 

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father from ibn abu ‘Umayr from Hammad from al-Halabiy who has said the following: “Once abu ‘Abd Allah, ‘Alayhi al-Salam, was asked about the case of a man who is absent and missing. He (the Imam) said, ‘If one is absent and missing for four years the authorities must send in writing to the area where he has disappeared, and if no trace of him is found the authority then commands his guardian to provide maintenance for her and she is his woman.’ I (the narrator) then said, ‘She may say, “I want what women want.”’ He (the Imam) said, ‘She cannot do so and it is not honorable. If his guardian did not provide maintenance or his attorney, then he (the authority) commands to divorce her and it then is obligatory divorce for her.’”

 

 عَلِيٌّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ عُمَرَ بْنِ أُذَيْنَةَ عَنْ بُرَيْدِ بْنِ مُعَاوِيَةَ قَالَ سَأَلْتُ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع عَنِ الْمَفْقُودِ كَيْفَ يُصْنَعُ بِامْرَأَتِهِ قَالَ مَا سَكَتَتْ عَنْهُ وَ صَبَرَتْ يُخَلَّى عَنْهَا فَإِنْ هِيَ رَفَعَتْ أَمْرَهَا إِلَى الْوَالِي أَجَّلَهَا أَرْبَعَ سِنِينَ ثُمَّ يَكْتُبُ إِلَى الصُّقْعِ الَّذِي فُقِدَ فِيهِ فَلْيُسْأَلْ عَنْهُ فَإِنْ خُبِّرَ عَنْهُ بِحَيَاةٍ صَبَرَتْ وَ إِنْ لَمْ يُخْبَرْ عَنْهُ بِشَيْ‏ءٍ حَتَّى تَمْضِيَ الْأَرْبَعُ سِنِينَ دُعِيَ وَلِيُّ الزَّوْجِ الْمَفْقُودِ فَقِيلَ لَهُ هَلْ لِلْمَفْقُودِ مَالٌ فَإِنْ كَانَ لَهُ مَالٌ أُنْفِقَ عَلَيْهَا حَتَّى يُعْلَمَ حَيَاتُهُ مِنْ مَوْتِهِ وَ إِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ مَالٌ قِيلَ لِلْوَلِيِّ أَنْفِقْ عَلَيْهَا فَإِنْ فَعَلَ فَلَا سَبِيلَ لَهَا إِلَى أَنْ تَتَزَوَّجَ وَ إِنْ لَمْ يُنْفِقْ عَلَيْهَا أَجْبَرَهُ الْوَالِي عَلَى أَنْ يُطَلِّقَ تَطْلِيقَةً فِي اسْتِقْبَالِ الْعِدَّةِ وَ هِيَ طَاهِرٌ فَيَصِيرُ طَلَاقُ الْوَلِيِّ طَلَاقَ الزَّوْجِ فَإِنْ جَاءَ زَوْجُهَا مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ تَنْقَضِيَ عِدَّتُهَا مِنْ يَوْمَ طَلَّقَهَا الْوَلِيُّ فَبَدَا لَهُ أَنْ يُرَاجِعَهَا فَهِيَ امْرَأَتُهُ وَ هِيَ عِنْدَهُ عَلَى تَطْلِيقَتَيْنِ فَإِنِ انْقَضَتِ الْعِدَّةُ قَبْلَ أَنْ يَجِي‏ءَ أَوْ يُرَاجِعَ فَقَدْ حَلَّتْ لِلْأَزْوَاجِ وَ لَا سَبِيلَ لِلْأَوَّلِ عَلَيْهَا

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father from ibn abu ‘Umayr from ‘Umar ibn ‘Udhaynah from Burayd ibn Mu‘awiyah who has said the following: “I once asked abu ‘Abd Allah, ‘Alayhi al-Salam, about the case of a man who is absent and missing and about how to deal with the issue of his wife. He (the Imam) said, ‘If she is silent and has exercised patience, she is not disturbed, but if she brings her case before the authorities she will be told to wait for four years. Thereafter they write to the area where he has disappeared to find out about him. If information is achieved that he is alive, she then must wait; but if no information is found until four years the guardian of the husband is summoned and asked if any assets belonging to the missing man exist. If such assets exist then her maintenance must be paid therefrom until it is found out if he is alive or not. If no asset belonging to him exists his guardian is told to provide her maintenance. If his guardian provides her maintenance she has no way to marry; but if he did not provide her maintenance the authority then compels him to divorce her one divorce before her commencing waiting period when she is in a Hayd (menses)-free period. Divorce by the guardian is treated like the divorce of the husband. If the husband comes before the end of her waiting period from the day divorce has taken place and he decides to go back to her, she is his wife. She is for him for two more divorces, but if he comes after her waiting period ends then she becomes lawful for marriage to whoever she likes and the first husband has no way to her.’”

 

The following is a mawththaq narration: 

عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ خَالِدٍ وَ عَلِيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ جَمِيعاً عَنْ عُثْمَانَ بْنِ عِيسَى عَنْ سَمَاعَةَ قَالَ سَأَلْتُهُ عَنِ الْمَفْقُودِ فَقَالَ إِنْ عَلِمَتْ أَنَّهُ فِي أَرْضٍ فَهِيَ مُنْتَظِرَةٌ لَهُ أَبَداً حَتَّى تَأْتِيَهَا مَوْتُهُ أَوْ يَأْتِيَهَا طَلَاقُهُ وَ إِنْ لَمْ تَعْلَمْ أَيْنَ هُوَ مِنَ الْأَرْضِ كُلِّهَا وَ لَمْ يَأْتِهَا مِنْهُ كِتَابٌ وَ لَا خَبَرٌ فَإِنَّهَا تَأْتِي الْإِمَامَ فَيَأْمُرُهَا أَنْ تَنْتَظِرَ أَرْبَعَ سِنِينَ فَيُطْلَبُ فِي الْأَرْضِ فَإِنْ لَمْ يُوجَدْ لَهُ أَثَرٌ حَتَّى تَمْضِيَ الْأَرْبَعُ سِنِينَ أَمَرَهَا أَنْ تَعْتَدَّ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَ عَشْراً ثُمَّ تَحِلُّ لِلرِّجَالِ فَإِنْ قَدِمَ زَوْجُهَا بَعْدَ مَا تَنْقَضِي عِدَّتُهَا فَلَيْسَ لَهُ عَلَيْهَا رَجْعَةٌ وَ إِنْ قَدِمَ وَ هِيَ فِي عِدَّتِهَا أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَ عَشْراً فَهُوَ أَمْلَكُ بِرَجْعَتِهَا 

A number of our people have narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad from ibn Khalid and Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father all from ‘Uthman ibn ‘Isa from Sama‘ah who has said the following: “I once asked him (the Imam), ‘Alayhi al-Salam, about the case of a man who is absent and missing. He (the Imam) said, ‘If it is known that he is in a certain location she waits for ever until the news of his death comes or her divorce. If it is not known where he is and no letter comes from him or any news, she then comes to the Imam who commands her to wait for four years and search for him in the land. If no trace of him is found until four years pass, she then is commanded to count her waiting period for four months and ten days and then she becomes lawful for men. If she marries after the end of her waiting period, he cannot go back to her and if he comes before the end of her waiting period he has the right to go back to her as her husband.’”

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4 hours ago, SoRoUsH said:

 عَلِيٌّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ عُمَرَ بْنِ أُذَيْنَةَ عَنْ بُرَيْدِ بْنِ مُعَاوِيَةَ قَالَ سَأَلْتُ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع عَنِ الْمَفْقُودِ كَيْفَ يُصْنَعُ بِامْرَأَتِهِ قَالَ مَا سَكَتَتْ عَنْهُ وَ صَبَرَتْ يُخَلَّى عَنْهَا فَإِنْ هِيَ رَفَعَتْ أَمْرَهَا إِلَى الْوَالِي أَجَّلَهَا أَرْبَعَ سِنِينَ ثُمَّ يَكْتُبُ إِلَى الصُّقْعِ الَّذِي فُقِدَ فِيهِ فَلْيُسْأَلْ عَنْهُ فَإِنْ خُبِّرَ عَنْهُ بِحَيَاةٍ صَبَرَتْ وَ إِنْ لَمْ يُخْبَرْ عَنْهُ بِشَيْ‏ءٍ حَتَّى تَمْضِيَ الْأَرْبَعُ سِنِينَ دُعِيَ وَلِيُّ الزَّوْجِ الْمَفْقُودِ فَقِيلَ لَهُ هَلْ لِلْمَفْقُودِ مَالٌ فَإِنْ كَانَ لَهُ مَالٌ أُنْفِقَ عَلَيْهَا حَتَّى يُعْلَمَ حَيَاتُهُ مِنْ مَوْتِهِ وَ إِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ مَالٌ قِيلَ لِلْوَلِيِّ أَنْفِقْ عَلَيْهَا فَإِنْ فَعَلَ فَلَا سَبِيلَ لَهَا إِلَى أَنْ تَتَزَوَّجَ وَ إِنْ لَمْ يُنْفِقْ عَلَيْهَا أَجْبَرَهُ الْوَالِي عَلَى أَنْ يُطَلِّقَ تَطْلِيقَةً فِي اسْتِقْبَالِ الْعِدَّةِ وَ هِيَ طَاهِرٌ فَيَصِيرُ طَلَاقُ الْوَلِيِّ طَلَاقَ الزَّوْجِ فَإِنْ جَاءَ زَوْجُهَا مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ تَنْقَضِيَ عِدَّتُهَا مِنْ يَوْمَ طَلَّقَهَا الْوَلِيُّ فَبَدَا لَهُ أَنْ يُرَاجِعَهَا فَهِيَ امْرَأَتُهُ وَ هِيَ عِنْدَهُ عَلَى تَطْلِيقَتَيْنِ فَإِنِ انْقَضَتِ الْعِدَّةُ قَبْلَ أَنْ يَجِي‏ءَ أَوْ يُرَاجِعَ فَقَدْ حَلَّتْ لِلْأَزْوَاجِ وَ لَا سَبِيلَ لِلْأَوَّلِ عَلَيْهَا

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father from ibn abu ‘Umayr from ‘Umar ibn ‘Udhaynah from Burayd ibn Mu‘awiyah who has said the following: “I once asked abu ‘Abd Allah, ‘Alayhi al-Salam, about the case of a man who is absent and missing and about how to deal with the issue of his wife. He (the Imam) said, ‘If she is silent and has exercised patience, she is not disturbed, but if she brings her case before the authorities she will be told to wait for four years. Thereafter they write to the area where he has disappeared to find out about him. If information is achieved that he is alive, she then must wait; but if no information is found until four years the guardian of the husband is summoned and asked if any assets belonging to the missing man exist. If such assets exist then her maintenance must be paid therefrom until it is found out if he is alive or not. If no asset belonging to him exists his guardian is told to provide her maintenance. If his guardian provides her maintenance she has no way to marry; but if he did not provide her maintenance the authority then compels him to divorce her one divorce before her commencing waiting period when she is in a Hayd (menses)-free period. Divorce by the guardian is treated like the divorce of the husband. If the husband comes before the end of her waiting period from the day divorce has taken place and he decides to go back to her, she is his wife. She is for him for two more divorces, but if he comes after her waiting period ends then she becomes lawful for marriage to whoever she likes and the first husband has no way to her.’”

So, she could have waited four years instead of eighteen years...

This lack of leadership is horribly disappointing and quite frankly, nauseating to think about. @starlight and @shia farm girl

Edited by Gaius I. Caesar

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