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In the Name of God بسم الله

No ambition, hardly no friends, and depression

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Guest SB9

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Salam,

Sorry I dont want to rant but I’ll label a few things that terrible effect my life

-High level of depression

-Mental health issues (I hit, punch myself and hit my head on the walls if I am frustrated)

-I lack a social life, I am socially awkward and find it hard-tiresome to get to know people. In addition to this I don’t trust people at all so never share anything in my life.

-OCD and other things due to religion, my family are sick of me, for example if my fresh clothing that is washed drops to the floor I will put in the washing machine again.

-I hardly eat the food my family make I don’t trust the najasat hands there have. My daily diet is just bread and egg.

-I hate my job, it’s good paying only reason I’m in it, but I don’t do work As I dislike my colleagues, if I leave my dad would be upset as he think I’m throwing away a good paying job and I’ll probably end up in  a labour job

I have tried to get rid of this, psychologists, getting new hobbies, new job etc but all my issues never goes away. I  pray everyday but I think I get punished for the waswas thoughts that I get in my head. Nothing helps I don’t know what to do. My family are good people and want me to get married, I know if I do my wife is probably in for a life of torments and frustration dealing with me. I don’t know what to do.

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Brother, I did read your previous post. If you think too much about these negative thoughts, they become stronger. Just relax and take it easy. Allah doesn't want to put you through all these problems. Take it easy, have a good conversation with your family, and exercise. Only think positive about yourself

Edited by Quran313
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6 hours ago, Guest SB9 said:

Salam,

Sorry I dont want to rant but I’ll label a few things that terrible effect my life

-High level of depression

-Mental health issues (I hit, punch myself and hit my head on the walls if I am frustrated)

-I lack a social life, I am socially awkward and find it hard-tiresome to get to know people. In addition to this I don’t trust people at all so never share anything in my life.

-OCD and other things due to religion, my family are sick of me, for example if my fresh clothing that is washed drops to the floor I will put in the washing machine again.

-I hardly eat the food my family make I don’t trust the najasat hands there have. My daily diet is just bread and egg.

-I hate my job, it’s good paying only reason I’m in it, but I don’t do work As I dislike my colleagues, if I leave my dad would be upset as he think I’m throwing away a good paying job and I’ll probably end up in  a labour job

I have tried to get rid of this, psychologists, getting new hobbies, new job etc but all my issues never goes away. I  pray everyday but I think I get punished for the waswas thoughts that I get in my head. Nothing helps I don’t know what to do. My family are good people and want me to get married, I know if I do my wife is probably in for a life of torments and frustration dealing with me. I don’t know what to do.

List down 10 good simple akhlaq that you can follow.  Adhere  it for 40 days.  Forget about thoughts during that time (don't entertain yourself with your current manners). Just focus on those 10 good akhlaq.

According to Amerul Mukminin Ali (عليه السلام), the best action is you force yourself to do it.  

Force a good manner, one by one  onto yourself.  Take your time.

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Guest Aslan
On 6/28/2020 at 6:41 PM, Guest SB9 said:

Salam,

Sorry I dont want to rant but I’ll label a few things that terrible effect my life

-High level of depression

-Mental health issues (I hit, punch myself and hit my head on the walls if I am frustrated)

-I lack a social life, I am socially awkward and find it hard-tiresome to get to know people. In addition to this I don’t trust people at all so never share anything in my life.

-OCD and other things due to religion, my family are sick of me, for example if my fresh clothing that is washed drops to the floor I will put in the washing machine again.

-I hardly eat the food my family make I don’t trust the najasat hands there have. My daily diet is just bread and egg.

-I hate my job, it’s good paying only reason I’m in it, but I don’t do work As I dislike my colleagues, if I leave my dad would be upset as he think I’m throwing away a good paying job and I’ll probably end up in  a labour job

I have tried to get rid of this, psychologists, getting new hobbies, new job etc but all my issues never goes away. I  pray everyday but I think I get punished for the waswas thoughts that I get in my head. Nothing helps I don’t know what to do. My family are good people and want me to get married, I know if I do my wife is probably in for a life of torments and frustration dealing with me. I don’t know what to do.

I was suffering from depression & anxiety myself and because of Family background & social pressures I could never come out & say I suffer from depression.

Went to psychiatrist and was put on to take medication for months but to no use.

I was finally cured by Listening to Surah Rehman in a specific focused manner with deeper concentration & drinking water in a specific manner after listening to Surah Rehman. This Remedy is available free of cost on the website and the only fee of it is that once you are cured, you must share this Remedy with others and help them gain health.

InshaALLAH. 

May ALLAH PAAK bless you and you get well soon brother.

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If you want to help yourself, read/watch this whole post start to end. Seriously. iA it will be helpful. Many others have been in your shoes, inshaAllah you'll overcome this waswas issue. 

Start with Bismillah before doing any act of worship. If you stamp it with Allah's name and do it for His sake, there's no way it'll be rejected! Also, you need to keep in mind that whatever you do, you are doing it for ALLAH (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to worhsip Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)! Not satan or the thoughts he puts in your mind.

Simply do what Allah has asked. Allah is is forgiving. Do your best, and after that don't care! InshaAllah Allah will forgive us for our imperfections.

Learn the actual Islamic Laws, don't follow your doubts and feeling. Islam is easy. For example, if you go to any washroom and you drop your shirt on a pool of random water on the floor, your shirt is still pak/tahir. 

Another important law is, EVERYTHING IS PAK/TAHIR/PURE unles you know it became najis (e.g. you saw it becoming najis). 

--

"The month of Ramadan that wherein the Qur'an was sent down to be a guidance for mankind, and as clear signs of guidance and a criterion (between right and wrong). Therefore, whoever of you is present (at his home) during the month, he shall fast therein and whoever is sick or on a journey, he shall then (fast) the same number of other days; Allah desires ease for you, and He does not desire hardship for you; so you should complete the number (of days decreed), and exalt Allah for His having guided you, and that haply you might be grateful (to Him)."

--

The primary evidence is the hadith of Imam as-Sadiq, which is considered sahih and is narrated by Zurarah. He asked Imam as-Sadiq about whether or not a person who doubts if they have slept has to do wudhu again (since sleep invalidates wudhu):
‎لا حتى يستيقن انه قد نام حتى يجئ من ذلك أمر بين و إلا فإنّه على يقين من وضوئه و لا ينقض اليقين أبداً بالشك و لكن ينقضه بيقين آخر
No, not until he is absolutely certain that he has slept. This is because he was certain that he was on wudhu, and certainty is never broken by doubt. Certainty is only broken by another certainty.

https://www.iqraonline.net/principle-of-istishab-and-its-types/

--

Muhammad ibn Ya’qub al-Kulayni (M) who reports from Muhammad ibn Yahya, from Ahmad ibn Muhammad, from Ibn Mahbub, from ‘Abd Allah ibn Sinan, who said: I mentioned to Abu ‘Abd Allah (A) (Imam Sadiq (a)) a man who was troubled by waswas in his wudu, and salat, adding that he is a man of intelligence. Thereupon Abu ‘Abd Allah (A) said, “What kind of intelligence has he when he obeys Satan?” I said, “How does he obey Satan?” The Imam replied, “Ask him regarding its cause and he will tell you that it is a work of Satan.”1

He (i.e. the Prophet) said, “Satan lays his snout, which is like the snout of a pig, on the heart of the son of Adam, and instigates him to turn towards the world (dunya) and that which God has not made lawful. But when he remembers God, Satan slinks away.” Majma’ al-bahrayn, under “kh.n.s.,” p. 305

--

You must take the time to read this start to end. It's a must read:

https://www.al-islam.org/forty-hadith-an-exposition-second-edition-imam-khomeini/twenty-fifth-hadith-satanic-insinuation

--

You must take the time to read Section E from the link below, it's called: Our Outlook Towards the Najasat. Read it start to end. It's a must read:

https://www.al-islam.org/ritual-and-spiritual-purity-sayyid-muhammad-rizvi/i-najasat-taharat

--

You must watch this video below. The Shaykh mentions a story of a guy who had a very similar issue to you and went to the late Grand Ayatollah Boroujerdi (may Allah bess his soul) for help. The shaykh shares in the video the Grand Ayatollah's response:

--

This is also another amazing article on this topic, it's long but well worth it:

https://www.iqraonline.net/islam-the-religion-of-ease/?fbclid=IwAR0_epuhip-KUQX1-HdcS_aPjFvoVlhS1DjGd9u_eehdxjYAXu1_5A6SX4E#easy-footnote-12-8868 

---

I can share more stuff on this topic but inshaAllah this should be enough.

Edited by AStruggler
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Salaam alaikum brother.

The issue might be that you are trying to solve too many things at once. May I suggest a step by step approach? 

Perhaps you could make a list of the key issues that are making you anxious. The next step is to put them in order of priority, then you can try and make a plan/strategy on how to approach each of them one by one.

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I recommend looking into Stoicism and developing a habit of mental toughness and gratitude.

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6 hours ago, AStruggler said:

If you want to help yourself, read/watch this whole post start to end. Seriously. iA it will be helpful. Many others have been in your shoes, inshaAllah you'll overcome this waswas issue. 

Start with Bismillah before doing any act of worship. If you stamp it with Allah's name and do it for His sake, there's no way it'll be rejected! Also, you need to keep in mind that whatever you do, you are doing it for ALLAH (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to worhsip Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)! Not satan or the thoughts he puts in your mind.

Simply do what Allah has asked. Allah is is forgiving. Do your best, and after that don't care! InshaAllah Allah will forgive us for our imperfections.

Learn the actual Islamic Laws, don't follow your doubts and feeling. Islam is easy. For example, if you go to any washroom and you drop your shirt on a pool of random water on the floor, your shirt is still pak/tahir. 

Another important law is, EVERYTHING IS PAK/TAHIR/PURE unles you know it became najis (e.g. you saw it becoming najis). 

--

"The month of Ramadan that wherein the Qur'an was sent down to be a guidance for mankind, and as clear signs of guidance and a criterion (between right and wrong). Therefore, whoever of you is present (at his home) during the month, he shall fast therein and whoever is sick or on a journey, he shall then (fast) the same number of other days; Allah desires ease for you, and He does not desire hardship for you; so you should complete the number (of days decreed), and exalt Allah for His having guided you, and that haply you might be grateful (to Him)."

--

The primary evidence is the hadith of Imam as-Sadiq, which is considered sahih and is narrated by Zurarah. He asked Imam as-Sadiq about whether or not a person who doubts if they have slept has to do wudhu again (since sleep invalidates wudhu):
‎لا حتى يستيقن انه قد نام حتى يجئ من ذلك أمر بين و إلا فإنّه على يقين من وضوئه و لا ينقض اليقين أبداً بالشك و لكن ينقضه بيقين آخر
No, not until he is absolutely certain that he has slept. This is because he was certain that he was on wudhu, and certainty is never broken by doubt. Certainty is only broken by another certainty.

https://www.iqraonline.net/principle-of-istishab-and-its-types/

--

Muhammad ibn Ya’qub al-Kulayni (M) who reports from Muhammad ibn Yahya, from Ahmad ibn Muhammad, from Ibn Mahbub, from ‘Abd Allah ibn Sinan, who said: I mentioned to Abu ‘Abd Allah (A) (Imam Sadiq (a)) a man who was troubled by waswas in his wudu, and salat, adding that he is a man of intelligence. Thereupon Abu ‘Abd Allah (A) said, “What kind of intelligence has he when he obeys Satan?” I said, “How does he obey Satan?” The Imam replied, “Ask him regarding its cause and he will tell you that it is a work of Satan.”1

He (i.e. the Prophet) said, “Satan lays his snout, which is like the snout of a pig, on the heart of the son of Adam, and instigates him to turn towards the world (dunya) and that which God has not made lawful. But when he remembers God, Satan slinks away.” Majma’ al-bahrayn, under “kh.n.s.,” p. 305

--

You must take the time to read this start to end. It's a must read:

https://www.al-islam.org/forty-hadith-an-exposition-second-edition-imam-khomeini/twenty-fifth-hadith-satanic-insinuation

--

You must take the time to read Section E from the link below, it's called: Our Outlook Towards the Najasat. Read it start to end. It's a must read:

https://www.al-islam.org/ritual-and-spiritual-purity-sayyid-muhammad-rizvi/i-najasat-taharat

--

You must watch this video below. The Shaykh mentions a story of a guy who had a very similar issue to you and went to the late Grand Ayatollah Boroujerdi (may Allah bess his soul) for help. The shaykh shares in the video the Grand Ayatollah's response:

--

This is also another amazing article on this topic, it's long but well worth it:

https://www.iqraonline.net/islam-the-religion-of-ease/?fbclid=IwAR0_epuhip-KUQX1-HdcS_aPjFvoVlhS1DjGd9u_eehdxjYAXu1_5A6SX4E#easy-footnote-12-8868 

---

I can share more stuff on this topic but inshaAllah this should be enough.

Salams, I had similar problems with regards to OCD and it helped me greatly, I ask Allah to make it easy for you. Watch the video the fellow member shared it helps alot.

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My life and my family life is being destroyed by my negativity, I don’t know what to do, I watched the video on najasat but my brain isn’t accepting it. What should I do. It’s becoming impossible to think positively. I think I might just leave the Internet.

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Salams,

I understand what you mean and I want you to know that we are all here for you, and we will help however we can. (Sorry this may be a long post).

On 6/29/2020 at 3:41 AM, Guest SB9 said:

-High level of depression

With regards to depression, we have to look at the factors that are causing this. Is there anything in your life right now that is causing this. I remember when I had this feeling of constant depression a couple of years back, I had to force it out and make a promise that from thereon I ignore these evil thoughts and constantly think of the positive of every situation, even i am confronted with the worst of situations, even if I am on the brink of death, to think of the good your in (remember Surah 94 Verse 6; Indeed with Hardship there is ease). Please know that all these thoughts are coming from the shaitaan, and his goal is to make your life miserable so that you turn away from God and despair in his mercy. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is the most merciful and he will forgive any sin committed except shrik. So please keep in mind that Allah loves you and does not want to see you put yourself in such situations. Allah loves you dearly and even if you take a thousand steps away from him, it only takes one step to get back to him. This process of flushing out depression took a few months to completely get rid of. So try from now on, whatever thoughts that come to you, of the evil kind, try to ignore it and think of all the positive in your situation no matter how bad it is, try to make that pledge from now, because it helped me when I felt completely lost and depressed. Always have hope. Also try to start hobby, keep your mind busy, read Quran reqularly, read duas, that sort of stuff. I started working out so it helped me. You should find something that brings a smile out. One thing that helped me in terms of hobbies, try to read about the Prophet and the Ahlulbayt (عليه السلام), their bravery, courage, patience, generosity etc. 

On 6/29/2020 at 3:41 AM, Guest SB9 said:

I lack a social life, I am socially awkward and find it hard-tiresome to get to know people. In addition to this I don’t trust people at all so never share anything in my life.

Honestly, part of my high school life as well, I was particularly depressed because I wanted people to recognise me and give me attention but I never really got it, I was socially awkward as well. I understand how it feels you. When I made my promise to start thinking positively, I embraced the fact that I liked being alone (probably because I still have trust issues), it's definitely better to social. You need to slowly build up your confidence, maybe talk to colleagues more regularly. I know you dislike your colleagues but try to look at the good in them rather than the negative. Part of human nature is that we look at the cup half empty as opposed to half full. I'm sure there's good in your colleagues, so try to look at those aspects, the good in them not the bad. Bear mind the shaitaan is trying to make you think negatively, even about your colleagues, so you need to flush him out. Try other techniques to help bring up you confidence (if you want more strategies, don't be afraid to ask, i can give some more). 

On 6/29/2020 at 3:41 AM, Guest SB9 said:

OCD and other things due to religion, my family are sick of me, for example if my fresh clothing that is washed drops to the floor I will put in the washing machine again.

-I hardly eat the food my family make I don’t trust the najasat hands there have. My daily diet is just bread and egg.

I have recently been overcome with this problem as well, and Alhamdullilah the members of the ShiaChat were able to help. I want you to think of it in this way. There are multiple steps we need to undergo for this to be resolved. We need to go to the root of the problem where it all started because this will be our best chance. We have a narration from the ahlulbayt, verses from the quran that can help us. Most of this is going to be from @AStruggler's post. 

17 hours ago, ShiaofAli12 said:

Learn the actual Islamic Laws, don't follow your doubts and feeling. Islam is easy. For example, if you go to any washroom and you drop your shirt on a pool of random water on the floor, your shirt is still pak/tahir. 

Another important law is, EVERYTHING IS PAK/TAHIR/PURE unles you know it became najis (e.g. you saw it becoming najis).

This is very important. Islam has been made easy for us and so Allah doesn't want you put so many hardships on yourself. Allah has told us that everything is tahir, pure until you learn of his impurity. I have to be 100% certain that it is najis for it to finally considered be najis. For example, if i have a red drop on my blanket, I am uncertain as to whether it is juice or blood. I can consider this to be tahir. If In this case you are 100% sure it is blood, it then becomes impure. But if I am still uncertain then you can treat it as pure. Astruggler is right in the sense you follow the laws as opposed to do this doubt. Likewise, if you drop a shirt on the floor it is still pure, it is still wearable, why because you do not know if the floor is impure, so Allah is not going to put that against you because you were simply unaware. Only if you are sure, 100% certain that the floor is najis then it is impure. This is the first part. The second comes when you are confronted with these doubts, you need to try your best to ignore them, whenever they come, just say no, and ignore it. This ignoring will take a while but by the day you will get better and better. Remember that these doubts are from the Shaitaan and he wants you to hate Islam so the best thing is too ignore him and seek refuge in God whenever these doubts come. Listen to these doubts in a way is like listening to the shaitaan and we don't want this, so whenever these doubts ignore them because shaitaan is our enemy. So the first thing you need to is try your best because at first you may feel reluctant to try these methods but you have to give that initial push. Try, as of this moment to commit to the removal if this waswasa, say to yourself I will stop it and doing so will give you a big confidence boost.  

2 hours ago, Guest SB9 said:

My life and my family life is being destroyed by my negativity, I don’t know what to do, I watched the video on najasat but my brain isn’t accepting it. What should I do. It’s becoming impossible to think positively. I think I might just leave the Internet.

Try to remember this as well, how many times were we confronted with problems that we thought to be so great, that we would never get through, only to get through them. Why because Allah is with us every step of the way. So brother/sister, do not despair because at one point in your life you'll get through this, because I was in a similar position as you.  Forget anything bad that has happened to you and look at the positive of everything, don't let this negativity hurt you anymore, I know the pain because I also experienced it first hand and I know how detrimental it is. 

On 6/29/2020 at 3:41 AM, Guest SB9 said:

 My family are good people and want me to get married, I know if I do my wife is probably in for a life of torments and frustration dealing with me. I don’t know what to do.

If you want to contact me privately, I can give you some details you can contact if you want (you can just @ me and ill give it), i'll try my best to help. Sorry for the long post.

With Duas for you success.

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On 6/28/2020 at 10:41 AM, Guest SB9 said:

-Mental health issues (I hit, punch myself and hit my head on the walls if I am frustrated)

I'm here to listen, I suffer too

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12 hours ago, ShiaofAli12 said:

Salams,

I understand what you mean and I want you to know that we are all here for you, and we will help however we can. (Sorry this may be a long post).

With regards to depression, we have to look at the factors that are causing this. Is there anything in your life right now that is causing this. I remember when I had this feeling of constant depression a couple of years back, I had to force it out and make a promise that from thereon I ignore these evil thoughts and constantly think of the positive of every situation, even i am confronted with the worst of situations, even if I am on the brink of death, to think of the good your in (remember Surah 94 Verse 6; Indeed with Hardship there is ease). Please know that all these thoughts are coming from the shaitaan, and his goal is to make your life miserable so that you turn away from God and despair in his mercy. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is the most merciful and he will forgive any sin committed except shrik. So please keep in mind that Allah loves you and does not want to see you put yourself in such situations. Allah loves you dearly and even if you take a thousand steps away from him, it only takes one step to get back to him. This process of flushing out depression took a few months to completely get rid of. So try from now on, whatever thoughts that come to you, of the evil kind, try to ignore it and think of all the positive in your situation no matter how bad it is, try to make that pledge from now, because it helped me when I felt completely lost and depressed. Always have hope. Also try to start hobby, keep your mind busy, read Quran reqularly, read duas, that sort of stuff. I started working out so it helped me. You should find something that brings a smile out. One thing that helped me in terms of hobbies, try to read about the Prophet and the Ahlulbayt (عليه السلام), their bravery, courage, patience, generosity etc. 

Honestly, part of my high school life as well, I was particularly depressed because I wanted people to recognise me and give me attention but I never really got it, I was socially awkward as well. I understand how it feels you. When I made my promise to start thinking positively, I embraced the fact that I liked being alone (probably because I still have trust issues), it's definitely better to social. You need to slowly build up your confidence, maybe talk to colleagues more regularly. I know you dislike your colleagues but try to look at the good in them rather than the negative. Part of human nature is that we look at the cup half empty as opposed to half full. I'm sure there's good in your colleagues, so try to look at those aspects, the good in them not the bad. Bear mind the shaitaan is trying to make you think negatively, even about your colleagues, so you need to flush him out. Try other techniques to help bring up you confidence (if you want more strategies, don't be afraid to ask, i can give some more). 

I have recently been overcome with this problem as well, and Alhamdullilah the members of the ShiaChat were able to help. I want you to think of it in this way. There are multiple steps we need to undergo for this to be resolved. We need to go to the root of the problem where it all started because this will be our best chance. We have a narration from the ahlulbayt, verses from the quran that can help us. Most of this is going to be from @AStruggler's post. 

This is very important. Islam has been made easy for us and so Allah doesn't want you put so many hardships on yourself. Allah has told us that everything is tahir, pure until you learn of his impurity. I have to be 100% certain that it is najis for it to finally considered be najis. For example, if i have a red drop on my blanket, I am uncertain as to whether it is juice or blood. I can consider this to be tahir. If In this case you are 100% sure it is blood, it then becomes impure. But if I am still uncertain then you can treat it as pure. Astruggler is right in the sense you follow the laws as opposed to do this doubt. Likewise, if you drop a shirt on the floor it is still pure, it is still wearable, why because you do not know if the floor is impure, so Allah is not going to put that against you because you were simply unaware. Only if you are sure, 100% certain that the floor is najis then it is impure. This is the first part. The second comes when you are confronted with these doubts, you need to try your best to ignore them, whenever they come, just say no, and ignore it. This ignoring will take a while but by the day you will get better and better. Remember that these doubts are from the Shaitaan and he wants you to hate Islam so the best thing is too ignore him and seek refuge in God whenever these doubts come. Listen to these doubts in a way is like listening to the shaitaan and we don't want this, so whenever these doubts ignore them because shaitaan is our enemy. So the first thing you need to is try your best because at first you may feel reluctant to try these methods but you have to give that initial push. Try, as of this moment to commit to the removal if this waswasa, say to yourself I will stop it and doing so will give you a big confidence boost.  

Try to remember this as well, how many times were we confronted with problems that we thought to be so great, that we would never get through, only to get through them. Why because Allah is with us every step of the way. So brother/sister, do not despair because at one point in your life you'll get through this, because I was in a similar position as you.  Forget anything bad that has happened to you and look at the positive of everything, don't let this negativity hurt you anymore, I know the pain because I also experienced it first hand and I know how detrimental it is. 

If you want to contact me privately, I can give you some details you can contact if you want (you can just @ me and ill give it), i'll try my best to help. Sorry for the long post.

With Duas for you success.

Salam,

thank you brother for your post I appreciate it a lot, and thank you everyone for your kind messages of support and request.

Sometimes I get evil dreams aswell and they ruin my whole day in which I won’t do nothing, because let’s say I have an evil dream and I do something good, my mind will be stuck on the fact that this good thing happened during something evil dream happened so I rather avoid it. Like I also had an evil dream last night so today I’m not doing anything but staying in my bed.

Man I used to love Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and the Ahlulbayt, Muharram and Ramadan were my favourite months for commenrartiom of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and the membrane of why to get close to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).

i can’t help it, even with the OCD video I was still hitting slapping my self during prayer last night because my mind is deviating. I think I might have issues. 

thank you for your advice I greatly appreciate it.

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16 hours ago, Guest SB9 said:

Salam,

thank you brother for your post I appreciate it a lot, and thank you everyone for your kind messages of support and request.

Sometimes I get evil dreams aswell and they ruin my whole day in which I won’t do nothing, because let’s say I have an evil dream and I do something good, my mind will be stuck on the fact that this good thing happened during something evil dream happened so I rather avoid it. Like I also had an evil dream last night so today I’m not doing anything but staying in my bed.

Man I used to love Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and the Ahlulbayt, Muharram and Ramadan were my favourite months for commenrartiom of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and the membrane of why to get close to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).

i can’t help it, even with the OCD video I was still hitting slapping my self during prayer last night because my mind is deviating. I think I might have issues. 

thank you for your advice I greatly appreciate it.

Salam,

We can work on these things and trust me it will get better. Let us talk about these dreams. When it comes to dreams, they're just dreams whether they are evil or not, they aren't real and it is just the shaitaan trying to play tricks on you. Yes at times they may be real and do mean something but we aren't prophets who may get a message through their dreams, our dreams on the other hand really amount to nothing most of the time because sometimes we can't even interpret them. Part of getting better is also trying to ignore these as well, don't let these dreams interfere in your life, after all they are not the be all end all. You want to strengthen your will enough to completely block off anything the shaitaan tries to put on you. 

With regards your salat and not concentrating, it is okay, I was in your shoes, I mean I used to hit myself because I couldn't concentrate. These things we can work on, our salat isn't going to be perfected in a matter of days, this we need to work on. There are numerous things we can do to try and improve our concentration in Salat. 

1. It is best to pray in a place free of distractions, if you have a playstation move it away or pray in a different room, likewise move your phone away so you don't think about it. During salat you also want to clear your mind, keep any distractions out. Pray in a place free of distraction, try to keep a separate room for salat (if possible), there isnt anything wrong with praying in your room, its just distractions may be prevalent.

2. Try to keep salat time just for salat. Don't organise anything at the time of salat, for example keep appointments outside of salat time, when you work keep you rest periods at salat time. And when you want to enter the state of salat, don't rush to salat, keep them in the prime times and try not to do anything distracting before the salat and don't book anything that may interfere with salat time.

3. Understanding what you say during prayer helps with concentration, find some translation of the words that are said during salat and focus on those words (if you want i can link one). When you say the words, you want to contemplate what is being said, what am i saying. This analogy also helps; if you have a conversation with someone, it is rude to not concentrate on the conversation, likewise the same applies during salat, you are talking to God and so you want to concentrate with full attention to what is being said. Also remembering death helps, in the way you think of it as your last salat, you want it to be as perfect as possible so try to treat each salat as if it is your last. Try to also think of it this was, You are standing in front of god, so imagine god is in front not as a physical manifestation but with your heart, you can feel gods presence with your heart. (there was a thread about prayer concentration, i cant find for some reason, I'm just summarising what was said there, if i find it i'll link it). i read somewhere as well (dont if it is correct, maybe others can correct me) is that our salat is going to be compared to the salat of Amirul al momeen Imam Ali (عليه السلام), so you want to try to make your salat perfect like his was.

Look I understand how you feel like there is no hope, that this condition will not get better, I was in the same position as you. Brother/ sister, there is nothing that can be solved with God's help, think of God as the reason you want to rid this problem. You want to perfect yourself so that you are able to worship God better. The good thing is that you are asking for help, I was reluctant to ask, but it's a great start. I'll try to help as much as I can.

Edited by ShiaofAli12
Added the part in italics and fixed some grammar stuff
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I have also struggled with depression and mental health issues. I am sorry for your struggle. But Isa has brought me out of the darkness of my mind, and into the light of Allah's goodness and grace. You can only find healing and freedom in Him. May Allah bless you and give you peace!

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Salam Alaikum,

I want to provide an update on how I’m doing so that I hope I can help other people.

let me go back to the initial post

 

I was depressed because I didn’t take charge of the life Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) provided me. I expected myself to pray and then Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) just provides. But I realised that’s not how it works. I had to keep out of my victimising mentality and start taking actions for myself.

 

 I am awkward because I care about having the akhlaq and manners for religion and myself. When I was younger it made me issue making friends, but as an adult everyone just focuses on themselves so realising this has made it easier for me. I still have a huge lack of friends but atleast I have like two I can trust

Islam isn’t hard. OCD was very hard for me to deal with but now I just accept the thought and continue. If I don’t accept I go into an endless cycle of redoing prayers etc which makes me hate it, it’s how shaitan tricks you.

Do I still feel sad and depressed? No I feel more at ease knowing that I am looking forward to the day Imam Zaman ajft comes and I talk to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) everyday. My mental state has gotten a lot better.

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47 minutes ago, Guest SB9 said:

Salam Alaikum,

I want to provide an update on how I’m doing so that I hope I can help other people.

let me go back to the initial post

 

 

I was depressed because I didn’t take charge of the life Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) provided me. I expected myself to pray and then Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) just provides. But I realised that’s not how it works. I had to keep out of my victimising mentality and start taking actions for myself.

 

 I am awkward because I care about having the akhlaq and manners for religion and myself. When I was younger it made me issue making friends, but as an adult everyone just focuses on themselves so realising this has made it easier for me. I still have a huge lack of friends but atleast I have like two I can trust

Islam isn’t hard. OCD was very hard for me to deal with but now I just accept the thought and continue. If I don’t accept I go into an endless cycle of redoing prayers etc which makes me hate it, it’s how shaitan tricks you.

Do I still feel sad and depressed? No I feel more at ease knowing that I am looking forward to the day Imam Zaman ajft comes and I talk to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) everyday. My mental state has gotten a lot better.

wa 'alaykum assalam,

Glad things are going better alhamdulillah

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On 6/28/2020 at 11:11 PM, Guest SB9 said:

Salam,

Sorry I dont want to rant but I’ll label a few things that terrible effect my life

-High level of depression

-Mental health issues (I hit, punch myself and hit my head on the walls if I am frustrated)

-I lack a social life, I am socially awkward and find it hard-tiresome to get to know people. In addition to this I don’t trust people at all so never share anything in my life.

-OCD and other things due to religion, my family are sick of me, for example if my fresh clothing that is washed drops to the floor I will put in the washing machine again.

-I hardly eat the food my family make I don’t trust the najasat hands there have. My daily diet is just bread and egg.

-I hate my job, it’s good paying only reason I’m in it, but I don’t do work As I dislike my colleagues, if I leave my dad would be upset as he think I’m throwing away a good paying job and I’ll probably end up in  a labour job

I have tried to get rid of this, psychologists, getting new hobbies, new job etc but all my issues never goes away. I  pray everyday but I think I get punished for the waswas thoughts that I get in my head. Nothing helps I don’t know what to do. My family are good people and want me to get married, I know if I do my wife is probably in for a life of torments and frustration dealing with me. I don’t know what to do.

Get professional help brother. I went through same period. I took an year off studies and everything. Went to Karbala and did so many things I couldn't. 

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Brother. We are living in a worst times. I know it is super hard and can understand what you are going through right now.

Just do one thing with sincerity. Seek closeness to Imam e Zamana(ajtf) 

Try recite his Ziyarat and talk to him. 

Make your life purpose that you will now follow his cause. You will study for him, you will work for him etc ..

Remember life is hard but this is just one life no is coming back here again and since we are very close to Imam re appearance try to find one purpose for him and start working on it. Just try....

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Im back. And there has been little to no improvement. My worries have switched from food to life now.

In the coming months my spirituality has worsened, I feel disconnected from Islam even though I pray, read Quran, do not listen to music etc.

I don’t know what to do in this life, I have no direction except dying for the Imam and going to heaven, but even that seems out of place for me for the thoughts and my mind. I wish I could get kicked in the head to rewire the way my brain thinks. I have given up on life nothing is worth anything to me anymore. I will just worship Allah and that’s it.
 

Everything I want to do to combat this has a haram. Consequence.

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Salam brother

Most of the religious advice here won't help you, this is a more complex problem than some simple fix.

I have had many of the same problems you had and still do. However I finally went to therapy and it helped a lot. Look into CBT. Also for social anxiety and OCD, I struggled with those too, the best cure is immersion. I still have OCD but it's not as bad as what it was, however I do have really bad religiously based OCD. It doesn't help when your life has been bad and you think "God is out for you". Really you have to embrace painful emotion and feelings and learn to be comfortable with them. For social anxiety, throw yourself into deeply uncomfortable situations. I did everything from public speaking, rejection therapy and improv. It helped me increase my confidence a lot even though they were scary.

Another member here mentioned stoicism. It's a beautiful philosophy and can also help you.

"Embrace the pain to find the light."

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Guest Well wisher

Also another thing, I highly recommend the book "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl and "12 Rules for Life" by Jordan Peterson.

Edited by Hameedeh
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On 11/6/2020 at 1:22 AM, Guest SB9 said:

Im back. And there has been little to no improvement. My worries have switched from food to life now.

In the coming months my spirituality has worsened, I feel disconnected from Islam even though I pray, read Quran, do not listen to music etc.

I don’t know what to do in this life, I have no direction except dying for the Imam and going to heaven, but even that seems out of place for me for the thoughts and my mind. I wish I could get kicked in the head to rewire the way my brain thinks. I have given up on life nothing is worth anything to me anymore. I will just worship Allah and that’s it.
 

Everything I want to do to combat this has a haram. Consequence.

You are obviously affected by the waswas. That is obvious. The question is how to do you get rid of it. Well there is good news and bad news. Ill give you the bad news first. The bad news is that every single human being, including myself, has this in one form or another. It might not be to the level yours is, and the waswas might say different things, but it is still there. For example, this is a huge issue for reverts to Islam and especially those reverts who had haram habits before they became muslim. The waswas is constantly there telling them 'Oh that (haram action) is not really so bad, you did it before and nothing bad happened, you are muslim now, you pray, just do it then do istighfar and everything will be ok'. 

There is no way to get rid of it completely. It happens due to the nature of being in this dunya. There are ayat of the Quran and hadith that talk about this. If you are interested I will go thru those. I think you are more interested in solutions, rather than preaching. So there are techniques you can use to reduce this waswas to the point where it isn't constantly affecting your life (that is the good news). These techniques have been used by millions of brother and sisters for a long time. The first one was brought to my attention by Brother Khalil Jaafer. He said that instead of immediately reacting to the waswas, let it go without reacting to it. Imagine that you are another person, standing next to you, observing yourself and listening to the thoughts that go thru your mind. Listen to the thoughts as if they are not your thoughts, but another person's thoughts. Then listen to each thought individually and decide, 'Is this a rational productive thought? ', 'Will this thought help me in my life or harm me', 'Is this the waswas or not'. Then make a list of the thoughts and put them on a chart. If it is a productive thought that will help you, mark it as productive. If it is a thought that is negative, waswas, non productive, mark it as unproductive, or waswas, whichever term you like. 

Once you have made the list, then try to observe, as an outside observer, when the negative thought comes into your head. Then recognize it, without reacting to it, and then remember your observation that this is negative, unproductive thought. Then decide at that moment, 'Oh, this is that negative, waswas thought, I'm not going to react to it / focus on it'. Get into the habit of doing this. This will take effort at first and will be painful because you will have to change how you normally react, and changing is difficult and requires effort. It is sometimes painful and excruciating. But this is your sacrifice in order to get better. It is like a painful medicine that is given by a doctor that will eventually heal you. You are the doctor, and also the patient, in this case. Once you get into the habit of doing this, eventually you will not even need to think about it so much and it will become automatic. 

It says in the Holy Quran 'Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) will never change a condition of a people until they change what is in their own selves'. This means that once you recognize something in yourself that is negative / unproductive / is ruining your life, you need to do the work, the hard work to change that thing. Once you have done the hard work, then Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) will help you to completely overcome this and will make it so you will be continually guided so that you won't go back to that. But you need to do the work. Many people will tell you, 'Oh just do salat, dua' , and that will take care of it'. That will help if you have done the work, if you haven't done the work, it won't help. So do the work, then ask Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to help you. Salam. 

Edited by Abu Hadi
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On 11/6/2020 at 11:52 AM, Guest SB9 said:

Im back. And there has been little to no improvement. My worries have switched from food to life now.

In the coming months my spirituality has worsened, I feel disconnected from Islam even though I pray, read Quran, do not listen to music etc.

I don’t know what to do in this life, I have no direction except dying for the Imam and going to heaven, but even that seems out of place for me for the thoughts and my mind. I wish I could get kicked in the head to rewire the way my brain thinks. I have given up on life nothing is worth anything to me anymore. I will just worship Allah and that’s it.
 

Everything I want to do to combat this has a haram. Consequence.

Start seeing a psychiatrist brother. I always prefer them to psychologist. I've been in a similar stage us you with self harm and depression with no motivation in life. 

Being on meds for sometime helped me. 

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