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In the Name of God بسم الله

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I was very badly addicted to porn when I was 13. I used to masturbate to porn twice or sometimes thrice a day. But now, since one and a half year, I've stopped masturbating to porn. But still, my problem is not solved completely as I've not succeeded in breaking the bad habit of watching porn. Now, I'm 18 and watch porn once a week or sometimes twice a week. Please give me some advice on how can I overcome this problem. Moreover, would seeking a psychologist in this regard help or not?

May Allah bless you.

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Salam alaikum brother. Firstly , all praise to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) who has helped you to get rid of a terrible sin. 

Alhamdulillah you have the motivation to also cleanse yourself of a second sin. 

Go back and track when you are doing this and how. If it's via a phone or laptop then block harmful material. Keep yourself regularly in wudhu. 

If you are doing this in private then keep your door open and be in places where you can be seen. 

InshaAllah you will overcome this distraction and get closer to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). 

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Apparently in porn a high percentage of the people who play the role of the woman are transgender men. I don't suppose that they all are, but maybe you should look into that, it might put you off.

Also look into porn being used as a weapon by the israelis and then ask yourself why they would do that.

Hope these two things can give you a bit of extra strength and reasons to stop.

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Imagine that those women in the pornography were your sisters...

Many women who perform in pornography are victims of human trafficking, especially in Europe.

Quitting the use of that drug (Yes, pornography affects the brain like a drug) is the best possible decision you could make. Remember that you are stronger than your desire to use this drug & that by not engaging with it, you are helping to damage human traffickers.

Edited by Abdul-Hadi

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Porn is a drug made to make us sick and perverts.

I remember when I was young and the first time I encountered to it through friends. I had no idea such thing even existed and was really suprised. I had no idea what I even saw. I was very young when I encountered it first time.

I Don't watch porn nor do istimna alhamdulillah. I think that educating yourself on the side effect of porn and the benefits of not watching it and not doing istimna is a good way to start.

The effect porn has on the brain is similar to heavy drugs like amphetamine and cocaine etc. There are many research done to prove this.

There are also many research to debunk those researches, from the porn industry. Because the porn industry don't want to lose its customers.

 

I also suggest taking cold showers incrementally every day. It really boosts your self confidence and motivation and keeps you focused and makes you forget the desire.

I have been taking cold showers for a while, it really is amazing. Try it out, start slowly.

 

I suggest watching this video, it's good and informative. It goes into the effect porn has in our brain, and why people fail to quit.

 

 

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Say to the believing men that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts. (24:30)

 

If we lower our gaze, most of these issues will disappear. When we look at the opposite female gender which we find attractive, it gives them confirmation, in return they will only continue with their behaviour. And we will not gain anything from it. We only lose by not lowering our gaze. Because we will neither do nikah or mutah with them, so why should we look at them and give them confirmation and in return frustrate ourselves?

Why should we dishearten ourselves and frustrate ourselves by looking at what makes our libido increase, which we will leave untouched. Meaning we leave our libido at a high level but have no way to satisfy it in a halal way. We just keep frustrating our emotions/body/psyche/chakras whatever you want to call it.

Dont frustrate yourself, it's not easy, but by not lowering your gaze it will make it a lot harder. So make it easy by lowering your gaze. This includes everywhere. Social media, internet, coffeshops, social gatherings, gym, etc you get my point.

 

Therefore we should lower our gaze as the verse from Quran says.

Say to the believing men that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts. (24:30)

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Quitting porn is not an event, its a process 

A few things that really really helped me to quit was 

1-Deleting every social media app(i only have youtube on my phone)

2-As brother @AkhiraisReal pointed out Lowering your gaze really helps as well and whenever you find yourself looking at woman in a sexual way Instantly look away and put your hand on your heart and remind yourself that She is just a human just like you not a sexual object

3-Identify your triggers and eliminate them from your life, for example in my case I almost always got the urge on my bed while using my phone so i stopped taking my phone to bed and putting near me when i sleep(it really helped me)

4-Stop counting down the days, it doesn't work and it will frustrate you instead record your wins everyday and be happy that you won the battle of the day

5-Dont Give up if you relapse, instead look at what made you do it and eliminate that frm your life, I myself failed a few times but got back up and now I'm here

6- Get an accountability partner that helps you in your journey 

While I'm not fully recovered yet I can definitely feel the benefits of not watching porn, my goal is going 2 years without pmo 

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It's a good thing that just making contact with women in business or seeing their hair doesn't sexually arouse me or make me feel like I have "desires" that need to be "satisfied".

I don't understand how people can be so controlled by sex & I never will.

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It's really sad the amount of people affected by this. I even know muslim brother that are involved in zina and have no shame confessing to it.

If the shaytans are feeding us porn, istimna, prostitution, zina, then the muslim communities must fight that back to prevent it from corrupting the youths. Is this happening though?

If the war is only one sided and the muslim communities are not doing anything about it, then surely most of the times shaytans side will win and corrupt the young souls, correct?

@Abu Hadi would like to hear your opinion regarding this topic.

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On 7/3/2020 at 5:00 AM, Abdul-Hadi said:

pornography affects the brain like a drug

Just to add there is this movement against pornography: fightthenewdrug.org

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3 decades ago l has a class of all women in this seminar.

Somehow, this subject came up.

During the time comments were made, one of the women said "it was so childish".

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