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In the Name of God بسم الله

Stingy father and duties of the children

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Syyyed

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میرے والد (عمر 75 سال)  کو میرے بڑے بھائی نے گھر سے نکل دیا۔ کیوں کہ کوئی ایسا بہتان نہیں جو والد صاحب نے بھابھی اور بھائی پر نا لگایا ہو  بدکرداری سے لے کر غیبی معاملات۔ ( حلانکہ دونوں 5 وقت کے نمازی ہیں)

والد صاحب کو میں نے اپنی طرف بلا لیا۔ اس وقت میں اپنے گھر کی تعمیر کروا رہا تھا میں اس وقت شدید فنڈز کی کمی کا شکار تھا لہٰذا ان سے گزارش کی  کہ ماہانہ 15000 آپ کو اپنا خرچ ادا کرنا ہو گا (انکی ماہانہ آمدنی 68000 روپے ہے۔ جو انہوں نے مان لیا۔لیکن ساتھ ہی انہوں نے گھر کا کھانا چھوڑ دیا اور کہا کے کھانا  باہر کا ہو گا تو کھا لوں گا ورنہ نہیں کیوں کے تمہاری بیوی مجھ پر جادو ٹونے کرتی ہے مجبورن باہر کا انکے لئے لانا پڑا پھر انکے دروازے بند رهنے لگے بات چیت صرف انکی ضرورت، نقص اور لڑائی کی حد تک رہ گئی۔ پھر ہم جنوری میں اپنے گھر شفٹ ہو گئے۔ سرونٹ کی صفائی سے لے کر انکے روم کے آگے

sitting

کے صوفے پر بیٹھ کر قرآن پڑھنے پر بھی ایتراز شروع ہو گئے۔ ماہانہ پیسے بار بار مانگنے پڑتے دیتے ہوے طعنے مارے جاتے ۔ سلام کا جواب کبھی کبھار ہی ان سے ملتا۔   اور پھر  کورونا آ گیا میرا کاروبار آہستہ آہستہ ختم ہوتا گیا اور گھر کا خرچ میری بیوی جو کہ سرکاری ٹیچر ہیں انکی سیلری سے ہونے لگا۔ میرے مالی حالات جانتے ہوے  والد صاحب نے کہا کہ کیوں کہ ہم اب کراے کے مکان سے اپنے گھر میں شفٹ ہو گئے ہیں لہٰذا میرا ماہانہ 5000 کم کر دو جس پر میں نے کہا کہ جب تک کاروبار کے حالات بہتر نہیں ہو جاتے  ایسا ممکن نہیں۔ جس پر انہوں نے ماہانہ خرچ دینے سے انکار کر دیا۔ لڑائی شروع ہوئی سواۓ گالم گلوچ کہ میری طرف سے شدید چیخ چنگھاڑ ہوئی ۔

شدید پریشانی میں ہوں براۓ مہربانی رہنمائی کریں 

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Salam, 

App koshish karen ke aap ki taraf se walid sahab ke saath koi badtameezi ya oonchi awaz main baat na ho.

Wo Salam ka jawab nahein daity, na dein, ghussay main kuch bolty hain, gaaliyan daitay hain daitay rahein aap dhiyan na dein, agay se chup rahein. Biwi ko bhi yahe takeed karen. 

Baki rahi kharchy ki baat, jitny wo daitay hai le lein filhal. Khana jo ghar main sub ke liay pakta hai wohi un ko bhi dein. Kha lein to thek hai, werna israr na karen, na hi bahir se la ker dein. Unhain bata dein ke is amadni main yahe mumkin hai, khana hai to kha lein. 

 

Mushkil situation hai aap ke liay lekan nai nahien, maan baap, aulad, behan bhai , yahe rishtay hi zindagi main sub se barra imtehaan saabit hotay hain. 

 

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Guest Muslim

اگر 

19 hours ago, The Green Knight said:

اللہ کے امتحان ہیں۔ صبر شکر کریں۔ والد کو برداشت کریں۔

اگر انکی مرضی کے بغیر بغیر بد تمیزی کئے ہوۓ انکے سامنے ماہانہ خرچ کے پیسے انکے پرس سے نکال لئے جائیں تو اس عمل کے بارے میں آپ کی کیا راۓ ہے ؟

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20 hours ago, starlight said:

Salam, 

App koshish karen ke aap ki taraf se walid sahab ke saath koi badtameezi ya oonchi awaz main baat na ho.

Wo Salam ka jawab nahein daity, na dein, ghussay main kuch bolty hain, gaaliyan daitay hain daitay rahein aap dhiyan na dein, agay se chup rahein. Biwi ko bhi yahe takeed karen. 

Baki rahi kharchy ki baat, jitny wo daitay hai le lein filhal. Khana jo ghar main sub ke liay pakta hai wohi un ko bhi dein. Kha lein to thek hai, werna israr na karen, na hi bahir se la ker dein. Unhain bata dein ke is amadni main yahe mumkin hai, khana hai to kha lein. 

 

Mushkil situation hai aap ke liay lekan nai nahien, maan baap, aulad, behan bhai , yahe rishtay hi zindagi main sub se barra imtehaan saabit hotay hain. 

اگر انکی مرضی کے بغیر بغیر بد تمیزی کئے ہوۓ انکے سامنے ماہانہ خرچ کے پیسے انکے پرس سے نکال لئے جائیں تو اس عمل کے بارے میں آپ کی کیا راۓ ہے ؟

اگر انکی مرضی کے بغیر بغیر بد تمیزی کئے ہوۓ انکے سامنے ماہانہ خرچ کے پیسےمجبورن انکے پرس سے نکال لئے جائیں تو اس عمل کے بارے میں آپ کی کیا راۓ ہے ؟

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7 hours ago, Guest Muslim said:

اگر 

اگر انکی مرضی کے بغیر بغیر بد تمیزی کئے ہوۓ انکے سامنے ماہانہ خرچ کے پیسے انکے پرس سے نکال لئے جائیں تو اس عمل کے بارے میں آپ کی کیا راۓ ہے ؟

Big no

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My father (age 75) was kicked out of the house by my elder brother. Because there is no slander that the father has not leveled at his brother-in-law and brother-in-law, from misdeeds to occult matters. (Although both are 5 time worshipers) I called my father to me. I was building my house at that time. I was suffering from severe lack of funds at that time, so I asked him to pay Rs. 15,000 per month for his expenses (his monthly income is Rs. 68,000) which he accepted. But at the same time he left the food at home and said that if the food is from outside then I will eat otherwise no because your wife casts a spell on me. I was forced to bring outside for them then their doors remained closed. They were left to the point of need, error and fighting. Then we shifted to our new home in January
From the cleaning of the servant to the front of my father's  room sitting Objections also started while reciting the Qur'an while sitting on the sofa. He was ridiculed for repeatedly asking for a monthly stipend. They seldom respond to greetings. And then Corona came. My business slowly came to an end and the house expenses were covered by the salary of my wife who is a government teacher. Knowing my financial situation, my father said that since we have now shifted from a rented house to our house, reduce my monthly allowance to Rs 5,000, to which I said that it is not possible until business conditions improve. ۔ On which he refused to pay monthly expenses. The fight started and i screamed out loudly.
If forced and without their consent. What do you think of the act of taking money out of their wallets in front of them without being rude? 
I'm in a lot of trouble, please guide me

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7 hours ago, Guest Muslim said:

اگر انکی مرضی کے بغیر بغیر بد تمیزی کئے ہوۓ انکے سامنے ماہانہ خرچ کے پیسےمجبورن انکے پرس سے نکال لئے جائیں تو اس عمل کے بارے میں آپ کی کیا راۓ ہے ؟

ایسا نہ کریں- آپ نے تین وقت کا کھانا ہی تو دینا ہے- جو خود کھاتے ہیں وہی انہیں بھی دے دیں

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Assalamu Alaikum, 

If there is one rule that I learned in Islam is that disrespect and disobedience to ones parents is forbidden. Regardless how they treat you, even if they are disbelievers (not saying they are), you should show respect to them to the best of your abilities. Your father has rights on you, as Imam Zain al Abideen says in his Risalat al Huquq that The right of your father is that you know that he is your root. Without him, you would not be. Whenever you see anything in yourself which pleases you, know that your father is the root of its blessing upon you. So praise God and thank Him in that measure. And there is no strength save in God. Try not to call your dad stingy and say anything bad about him, because all the blessings you have are stemmed from your father. If there is something that and you father disagree with, you may speak your opinion with the utmost respect. Regardless if your father is rude, you should never raise your voice above his as this would be a sign of disobedience towards him. I know your situation isn't great and you are in hard times currently, but remember that one of the things that Allah tests us with in this life, is through the loss of wealth and poverty. In such a situation Allah wants you to be patient, and to constantly remember him and make dua. Allah has put you through a test to see how you react in it, with regards to patience in these hard times, controlling anger, and most importantly to remain steadfast in the path of God. With regards to your spouse,  The right of your wife (zawja) is that you know that God has made her a repose and a comfort for you; you should know that she is God's favour toward you, so you should honour her and treat her gently. Though her right toward you is more incumbent, you must treat her with compassion, since she is your prisoner (asir) whom you feed and clothe. If she is ignorant, you should pardon her. She is your wife and the income she earns does not have to be spent on the family, this is the duty of the father and husband. Where her income goes can only be decided by her. Let's say she wants to keep her money for private investment in herself, she is allowed to do that. If she wants to invest with regards to house expenses its her choice. The one thing you need to know is that it's her income and you are not allowed to take from it unless you have her permission as it belongs to her. The husband has the duty of maintaining the expenses of his wife, so regardless you have to spend on her but she doesn't have do the same. I know you are in troubling times, but my best advice to you is that you should remain patient, don't give into the shaitans whispers. Remember Allah in these times of hardships and the times of ease. Make dua, be respectful to your spouse and father, don't do anything you would regret later on. Remember this life is permanent, and the permanent abode is the one in the hereafter. Dont take money out of their wallets unless you have their permission.

With Duas and Salams.

I didnt realise that the original post was in a different, i based my answer on the translation of guest muslim, so its probably best if someone you is able, to please translate this, you dont have to but it may help.

Edited by ShiaofAli12
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