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In the Name of God بسم الله
Dreamcatcher

PG Topic: Difference of libido in a couple

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:salam:

How should one go about dealing with a difference of libido in a couple? Where one partner has a normal or higher than normal libido and the other has lower than normal or almost no libido. I also want to know if the lack of sexual education or awareness in conservative Muslim societies where any discussion about this subject is a taboo can cause this problem where some people may end up having a very low libido. Even talking about Ghusl e Janabah from the pulpit is considered taboo and bad so you can imagine this not being discussed in private groups either.

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51 minutes ago, Dreamcatcher said:

:salam:

How should one go about dealing with a difference of libido in a couple? Where one partner has a normal or higher than normal libido and the other has lower than normal or almost no libido. I also want to know if the lack of sexual education or awareness in conservative Muslim societies where any discussion about this subject is a taboo can cause this problem where some people may end up having a very low libido. Even talking about Ghusl e Janabah from the pulpit is considered taboo and bad so you can imagine this not being discussed in private groups either.

walaikum salaam warahmatulah,

This situation is normal and expected in all couples, and in turns. There will always be instances where one will want it while the other is too tired or not inspired. Especially for women the libido can drastically change during pregnancy or also depending on the time of the month. Men also have a hormonal biorhythm that is often ignored, and of course men need more energy to perform.

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1 hour ago, Allah Seeker said:

walaikum salaam warahmatulah,

This situation is normal and expected in all couples, and in turns. There will always be instances where one will want it while the other is too tired or not inspired. Especially for women the libido can drastically change during pregnancy or also depending on the time of the month. Men also have a hormonal biorhythm that is often ignored, and of course men need more energy to perform.

Thank you.

Any partner who would not care in such a time obviously needs to have a better understanding towards their partner i.e. being tired, not inspired etc.

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By the way ladies and gents, I'd like to share with you something else on this topic.

When men are young and strong they can mostly always perform, while women are sometimes held back by certain parts of the month, or pregnancy, or post-pregnancy issues. But then at a later age things get reversed. Once women enter menopause, they still have desire and ability to 'do it', but men start to slack back. After a certain age you will find some men depending on that little blue pill to get into action, while women don't need anything. So, us men should make preparations for that time from now already, because if Allah has written for us to survive till then, then we might be the ones who can't do it, while they will be always ready. A reversal, and at that time we will need their help and patience with us, just like they need our help and patience with them while we are young.

I have been told by many people that women can do it even up to the 90's, without a problem. But men? I'll leave you to answer this.

Edited by Allah Seeker
teenie weeni little typo

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11 hours ago, Dreamcatcher said:

:salam:

I also want to know if the lack of sexual education or awareness in conservative Muslim societies where any discussion about this subject is a taboo can cause this problem where some people may end up having a very low libido. Even talking about Ghusl e Janabah from the pulpit is considered taboo and bad so you can imagine this not being discussed in private groups either.

Lack of Islamic education, social norms and attitudes influencing Muslim community’s understanding of Islamic teachings. Sex, eroticism and the likes are not a taboo in Islam, as long as done respectfully and within scholarly framework. Such topics were always seen as natural, Islam never had an equivalent of Christian moral suppression and censorship on sex themes. Unfortunately, religiously uneducated and Islamically ignorant communities enforce silence, which leads to acts of zina or the honour killings, in turn increasing human suffering and injustices. 

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