Words of Encouragement

[RepentantServant]

I have fallen down a path of so much sin & neglect since the last few days of Ramadan up until now. I was sinning while fasting & I continue to do so. It's just so awful. My nasty anxiety issues have given me such brain fog that I can't think right one bit. I'm just not myself. 

I know God is most forgiving & merciful, but I can't stop thinking to myself that I don't deserve to be asking for anything from God because I keep disobeying Him in such awful ways. 

My sins are up to my neck and beyond. It's so bad. How do you guys cope with such stress, anxiety, & just blatant sinning. I've never felt so distant from God in my life. And I know it's all because of me. I have little energy to think the right thoughts. I'm stuck in a negative feedback loop about my position with God & Satan's whispers are catching up to me.

All I keep thinking to myself is 'I don't deserve anything from God'. And I find that to be so true, because I don't. Especially not after the way I have been and the awful sins I keep committing.

I sin because of my anxiety. I try to run away from those feelings of anxiety, & I turn to sin. It's just a destructive negative feedback loop. It feels as if my mind & body has come to accept the fact that I truly don't deserve anything from God. This is how bad my anxiety & sinning has got to me.

I sit on my prayer mat & let my silence do the talking. I can't even say anything to God because I don't know where to start or what to say. I find myself thinking & believing that I don't deserve to sit there and ask anything from God. It isn't good I know. But I"m just being honest. I can't say anything to God because I've almost convinced myself that I don't deserve anything from Him because of the way I have been. I feel as if God is so angry with me & I totally understand if He is. 

I just need some words of encouragement because I can't think straight. The anxiety & brain fog is catching up to me. Thank you all.

Edited May 28, 2020 by RepentantServant

[Guest Kausar]

I am going through the same thing, its like a loop which i can sometimes snap out of, but once I get an anxious thought which I cant deconstruct, I am left in turmoil for days. Honestly dont know what to do anymore, I feel like the issues are so far fetched and complex that i cant even ask anyone about my problem. I guess all I can say is I have Waswas and an overactive, overanalytical mind.

[Mzwakhe]

salam alykum wrwb

1 hour ago, RepentantServant said:

I sit on my prayer mat & let my silence do the talking. I can't even say anything to God because I don't know where to start or what to say

alhamdulillah you're sitting in a prayer mat, not being kicked out of a bar or wherever, @ least you don't need ghusul or wudhu. You're not far off alhamdulillah since you're thinking about Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)...

 

https://islamicpulse.tv/ivideo/the-sin-of-despondence-what-is-it-one-minute-wisdom/

https://islamicpulse.tv/ivideo/when-your-heart-belongs-to-allah-shaykh-bahmanpour/

ws

[AStruggler]

Despairing in Allah's mercy is the second worst sin. This being a reality just shows merciful Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is, for he made it a big sin for us to despair in His mercy. 

Don't despair.

 

Edited May 29, 2020 by AStruggler

[LunaGal]

On 5/28/2020 at 2:34 PM, RepentantServant said:

I have fallen down a path of so much sin & neglect since the last few days of Ramadan up until now. I was sinning while fasting & I continue to do so. It's just so awful. My nasty anxiety issues have given me such brain fog that I can't think right one bit. I'm just not myself. 

I know God is most forgiving & merciful, but I can't stop thinking to myself that I don't deserve to be asking for anything from God because I keep disobeying Him in such awful ways. 

My sins are up to my neck and beyond. It's so bad. How do you guys cope with such stress, anxiety, & just blatant sinning. I've never felt so distant from God in my life. And I know it's all because of me. I have little energy to think the right thoughts. I'm stuck in a negative feedback loop about my position with God & Satan's whispers are catching up to me.

All I keep thinking to myself is 'I don't deserve anything from God'. And I find that to be so true, because I don't. Especially not after the way I have been and the awful sins I keep committing.

I sin because of my anxiety. I try to run away from those feelings of anxiety, & I turn to sin. It's just a destructive negative feedback loop. It feels as if my mind & body has come to accept the fact that I truly don't deserve anything from God. This is how bad my anxiety & sinning has got to me.

I sit on my prayer mat & let my silence do the talking. I can't even say anything to God because I don't know where to start or what to say. I find myself thinking & believing that I don't deserve to sit there and ask anything from God. It isn't good I know. But I"m just being honest. I can't say anything to God because I've almost convinced myself that I don't deserve anything from Him because of the way I have been. I feel as if God is so angry with me & I totally understand if He is. 

I just need some words of encouragement because I can't think straight. The anxiety & brain fog is catching up to me. Thank you all.

 ...may the peace of God which surpasses all understanding guard your heart and mind....

[Pius_Raj]

You got this bro. You dont have to be perfect, as long as your 1% better than you were yesterday, your making progress. Keep on keeping on not gonna say its gonna be easy, but the very fact that you have acknowledged how much you want to repent and turn back to allah is a gift from allah. So take advantange of that gift and pour your heart out, he listens to the prayer of every supplicant no matter their situation.

 

I hope you find the peace you are looking for enshallah. If you just need someone to talk to shoot me a dm, especially with the anxiety stuff im struggling with that myself.  

[ali_fatheroforphans]

Brother these words of encouragement will only temporarily motivate you. You need to identify the sin and tackle it. Sometimes you need to even turn to non-Muslims to seek help when it comes to certain sins. Also know that if someone has lived a life without these ugly sins (I'm not talking about minor sins), then it's possible for anyone.

I believe everyone has the potential to stay away from every ugly sin such as lying, alcohol, zina, backbiting etc.

[Guest Proud Muslim]

Salamuallaikum 

I’ve been dealing with the same thing. I was not like this months ago. For me it has been dealing with desires. I’ve been trying to avoid sin all throughout Ramadan and I felt that I actually did pretty well. After Ramadan recently I fell to a sin that just hurts thinking about. I get replays everyday and I try to forget but I can’t. Everyday for the past 2 months has been a replay of my sins. I ask Allah for forgiveness everyday. Inshallah he will forgive me. I understand how difficult it is. I believe it is just a test. Allah does not put us through something that we cannot handle even if it is you who caused the issue. 
 

I have been watching a lot of Hussain Makke lectures and he talks about how to deal with desires. 
Some ways to try and beat desire are:

Run away from the place where you are often doing the sin. If it is when you are alone, try to involve your self in an activity. In what context you may ask? If you are getting desires from watching something on an app, delete that app etc.

If you are in the act of committing sin, try to go and take a cold shower. 

Inshallah this helps!

I will keep all of you who are dealing with the same issue as me in my prayers. Let’s not underestimate the mercy of the all knowing and the almighty. Al Rahman Al Rahim. 

Salamuallaikum