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In the Name of God بسم الله
FollowerofIslam

Should I Reject a Woman for Marriage if She Wears Makeup?

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On 4/24/2020 at 5:31 AM, habib e najjaar said:

Teeheehee.. wondering what men will do in this era of filtered photos and face contouring make up. 

Things are a lot less complicated in less modern societies: unmarried girls DO NOT do make up, waxing, threading, hair coloring, intricate henna or any extra fluff and feathers .. so you get to see exactly what you will be marrying (well minus the hijab after marriage). 

On the other hand, for all the arguments about men being inherently polygamous, make up could be useful. New look/"new" wife every other day.

 

:ko:

I don't think there's anything wrong with using all these methods to look more beautiful. Men shouldn't expect from their wives to look beautiful 24/7. I heard in Lebanon, women spend a lot of time on make-up. Because they don't have security, they spend each day like it's their last. Even when there's fighting and war going on, women are busy in salons getting makeup and hair treatments. I think obsessing too much about looks is not healthy, but if some woman wants to feel beautiful and she hasn't been blessed with good skin or other beautiful features and she wants to get help from beauty salons, why not? Getting good skin naturally or obsessing over wrinkles is more time consuming and hard work and unless a person is celebrity and his/her job involves looking good, I don't understand why would anyone put themselves through so much hassle. 

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On 4/24/2020 at 8:34 PM, 313 Seeker said:

Yes it's not that one has "more" rights over the other, they are just different.

2:228:

"...And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise."

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Came across this forwarded message today: 

Advice for Men when in lockdown at home with your 
Spouse. 

If you want to live happily Create a working formula on decision making and because you are the man and the head of the house, take decisions on BIGGER  issues whereas your wife decides on SMALLER  issues. Do not interfere  in each others decisions. Smaller issues like how many kids to have, the neighbourhood to buy a plot, which car you should buy or repaint , who keeps money and to save, who, when and where to visit, which sofa, cooker or refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not,  where to go for holidays within the new boundaries, whose mum you should visit etc etc, should be decided by your wife. Just agree to it. Your decisions are only for big issues like whether America should hold elections in November, who should be the next WHO director, unification of  South/North Korea, whether Britain is in Pacific, how to fully exploit Africa's  economic and intellectual potential, whether Arsenal need to recruit a new coach or change the FKF leadership  or whether Kashmir belongs to India etc etc. Your wife will never object to any of these decisions and you will live happily
Have a lovely evening.

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8 hours ago, Soldiers and Saffron said:

2:228:

"...And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise."

This talks specifically about one issue, which is reconcilation during divorce. Not only is this verse addressing the issue of divorce, but even the verses before it and after it as well. Here is the full verse translation:

"Divorced women remain in waiting for three periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have more right to take them back in this [period] if they want reconciliation. And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise."

As you can see there is a specific description within the verse that you quoted a part of, which shows exactly what Allah gave men an advantage in.

So this is not an argument at all when trying to argue that men have more rights than women in general, or that a gender-based general superiority exists, that we see in the mentality of pre-Islamic times. Unfortunately a lot of pre-Islamic culture is still with us.

When it comes to the case of divorce reconcilation - as described above - also notice that it's not something that can even be used in a tyrannical way. The only way that this verse can be implemented - if I understand it correctly - is by being the 'bigger one', while being more able to accept reconcilation. In other words, as the verse says, they have more right to reconcile. At the same time we know for fact that there are areas where women have more rights over men in things, and I doubt that anybody will argue this point. 

Thanks

Edited by 313 Seeker
Man was created out of haste - therefore people like me sometimes post before checking for boo-boos. Sorry about that

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Salam, I have to be honest and admit that this Rabbi has given the best and most fair speech on successful marriages that I've ever seen. Mashala

It goes into things that we all need to hear, including the love-worshipping, and the importance of considering your partners seemingly small unimportant needs as more important that your own 'important' needs. Watch it from the beginning to the end, and especially the guys here will be better husbands inshallah. 

I would love to hear you feedback on it:

 

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I personally also have the opinion that forced covering of women's heads is not supported strongly in Islam. There is no direct mention from Allah in the Quran , nor the Prophet himself directly ordering women to cover their hair or heads. (I couldn't find a single one after years of asking and looking) The term 'hijab' is never even used in direct relationship with dress-code in the Quran. 

If Allah and His Messenger (in both Sunni and Shia narration books) never directly addressed this, or order this, then that makes it a weak argument for those who try to convince us that it's a true and central Islamic tradition/rule of big importance to all of the women. 

There are hadiths from ahlulbayt about this, but I personally don't buy them, because there should be talk about this rule from their grandfather ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)) about it, if it's really so important and real.

To me it's a case of making something Haram that is actually Halal.

Thanks,

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