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In the Name of God بسم الله

Is my writing nonsensical or does it have meaning

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Salam, I would appreciate it if you brothers/sisters can take the time to read what I have written and give me your ideas on whether it is sound or mere jargon.

My attempt was to describe myself following a path which was not easy, but I was willing to undertake no matter the odds in order to achieve my goals, unfortunately I was sidetracked by an occurrence which was not well considered, in which led to the shattering of the process and plan I had in reaching said goal.

—————————————————————

Could one articulate a blueprint to life’s uncertainty, to bring forth a module in the form of a timely script, one which enumerates all fundamentals; pondering over its practicality there lay a feeble attempt driven by aspirations to pursue such an endeavor.

Transforming formulated thoughts into tangible strings to the similitude of yarn which could be woven dexterously in a fashion which resembles a deliberate sequence, one that leads to intended patterns.

However, lack of discipline and untimely decisions prove to be adequate impediments to such an endeavor that necessitates forbearance. Undeniably, miscalculations lead to strands, unwanted strands which alter a meticulous process.

An attempt to address the unwanted extremities would not only stagnate the continuous process, but also divert one’s attention, due to an attempt to liberate the sequence from a deviating retreat.

Evidently, the ill considered approach to such a process carries its repercussions, to an extent where the result of such a grand endeavor would begin to lose its touch profoundly, wherein a little strand in a grand means becomes the entire agency.

The yarn of thought which was knitted attentively, passionately, and deliberately would therein be reduced to nothing but overlapping strands of meaningless string. All the effort put reverted to the point of origin, scattered thoughts, like the yarn on quivering hands. Perplexion reinstated due to ill miscalculation.

@313 Seeker @hasanhh

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Off-hand, you are trying to write with the platitudinals of a poet in a prose formet.

Example:

"Transforming formulated thoughts into tangible stings to the similitude of yarn which could be woven dexterously in a fashon which resembles a deliberate sequence, one that leads into patterns."

"formulated" is an end product so it cannot be 'transformed'. "Reformulated" at a later time, yes.

"tangible strings" resemble themselves and do not resemble another style of (textile) yarn

A weave is by definition intricate and uses a jig/loom to frame the work; while a dextrous hand knits.

A sequence it determined by the pattern plan.

And you also further complicated the sentence with the word "thoughts".

Help?

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8 minutes ago, hasanhh said:

Off-hand, you are trying to write with the platitudinals of a poet in a prose formet.

Example:

"Transforming formulated thoughts into tangible stings to the similitude of yarn which could be woven dexterously in a fashon which resembles a deliberate sequence, one that leads into patterns."

"formulated" is an end product so it cannot be 'transformed'. "Reformulated" at a later time, yes.

"tangible strings" resemble themselves and do not resemble another style of (textile) yarn

A weave is by definition intricate and uses a jig/loom to frame the work; while a dextrous hand knits.

A sequence it determined by the pattern plan.

And you also further complicated the sentence with the word "thoughts".

Help?

You sir are a gem, I really enjoy writing and want to improve at it what advice could you give me in avoiding these many mistakes that I am making

Edited by Mohammad313Ali
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1 hour ago, Mohammad313Ali said:

Salam, I would appreciate it if you brothers/sisters can take the time to read what I have written and give me your ideas on whether it is sound or mere jargon.

My attempt was to describe myself following a path which was not easy, but I was willing to undertake no matter the odds in order to achieve my goals, unfortunately I was sidetracked by an occurrence which was not well considered, in which led to the shattering of the process and plan I had in reaching said goal.

—————————————————————

Could one articulate a blueprint to life’s uncertainty, to bring forth a module in the form of a timely script, one which enumerates all fundamentals; pondering over its practicality there lay a feeble attempt driven by aspirations to pursue such an endeavor.

Transforming formulated thoughts into tangible strings to the similitude of yarn which could be woven dexterously in a fashion which resembles a deliberate sequence, one that leads to intended patterns.

However, lack of discipline and untimely decisions prove to be adequate impediments to such an endeavor that necessitates forbearance. Undeniably, miscalculations lead to strands, unwanted strands which alter a meticulous process.

An attempt to address the unwanted extremities would not only stagnate the continuous process, but also divert one’s attention, due to an attempt to liberate the sequence from a deviating retreat.

Evidently, the ill considered approach to such a process carries its repercussions, to an extent where the result of such a grand endeavor would begin to lose its touch profoundly, wherein a little strand in a grand means becomes the entire agency.

The yarn of thought which was knitted attentively, passionately, and deliberately would therein be reduced to nothing but overlapping strands of meaningless string. All the effort put reverted to the point of origin, scattered thoughts, like the yarn on quivering hands. Perplexion reinstated due to ill miscalculation.

@313 Seeker @hasanhh

Walaikum salaam,

Your writing has lots of meaning masha Allah, keep it up! thanks!

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14 minutes ago, 313 Seeker said:

Walaikum salaam,

Your writing has lots of meaning masha Allah, keep it up! thanks!

It means a lot coming from you brother thank you kindly <3

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1 hour ago, hasanhh said:

"formulated" is an end product so it cannot be 'transformed'. "Reformulated" at a later time, yes.

Brother, forgive me for any misunderstanding 

the end product of thoughts was the conclusion which was formulated the transformation which occurred was from thought to action. 

Could you elaborate on that technicality 

Quote

A weave is by definition intricate and uses a jig/loom to frame the work; while a dextrous hand knits.

“If you're dexterous, you're good with your hands. To be dexterous is an essential trait for knitters and sleight-of-hand magicians. The adjective dexterous often refers to skill and agility with the hands, but it can mean any skillful or clever physical movement.”

 

I by no means am objecting to your critiques, but would highly appreciate a further clarification from your valuable time. JazakAllah

Edited by Mohammad313Ali
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4 minutes ago, 313 Seeker said:

what an honor :grin: Thank you brother 

The honor is all mine, a valued individual as yourself taking the time to consider looking at my feeble attempts of writing is greatly appreciated. 

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Just now, Mohammad313Ali said:

The honor is all mine, a valued individual as yourself taking the time to consider looking at my feeble attempts of writing is greatly appreciated. 

im definitely not valuable, but thanks anyway dear brother. I look forward to see more of your writing. Today, perhaps?

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4 minutes ago, 313 Seeker said:

im definitely not valuable, but thanks anyway dear brother. I look forward to see more of your writing. Today, perhaps?

You have truly left me invigorated with your encouraging words dear brother, May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) bless you and inshallah I will soon share whatever future writings this feeble hand of mine pens.

JazakAllah for your kindness 

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1 hour ago, Mohammad313Ali said:

Brother, forgive me for any misunderstanding 

the end product of thoughts was the conclusion which was formulated the transformation which occurred was from thought to action. 

Could you elaborate on that technicality 

“If you're dexterous, you're good with your hands. To be dexterous is an essential trait for knitters and sleight-of-hand magicians. The adjective dexterous often refers to skill and agility with the hands, but it can mean any skillful or clever physical movement.”

 

I by no means am objecting to your critiques, but would highly appreciate a further clarification from your valuable time. JazakAllah

Before l forget, get a thesaurs. The paperback kind. The online stuff isn't any good.

Basic writing requires a syllogism. A sentence requires simplicity.

2 hours ago, Mohammad313Ali said:

However, lack of discipline and untimely decisions prove to be adequate impediments to such an endeavor that necessitates forbearance. Undeniably, miscalculations lead to strands, unwanted strands which alter a meticulous process.

 

A quick re-write:

However, a lack of (adjective needed) discipline and rushed (what kind?)decisions are impediments to these endevors; thwarting coherent expression.

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I used to teach writing at a university in the states, and I have published fiction, non-fiction (scholarly) and some poetry. Nothing major, just a few things here and there

I generally like what you have here, and I can see that this is an ambitious attempt at an extended, complex metaphor. There is also a kind of logic to this: a premise, an objection (could one ...however ...)

But I think you can pull it back in and refine it. Whittle it down a bit and make the conclusion clearer--it is very abstract, and that can be OK, but remember this maxim:

A masterpiece requires authenticity without artifice, and intensity of expression without overabundance

Here is an excellent example of the difference between artifice and inauthentic writing vs. something that is a masterpiece

"Silence is more musical than any song" -Rosetti

(this is clever and poetic, but it is artifice, and doesn't hold together)

"When silence is prolonged over a certain period of time, it takes on a new meaning" -Mishima

(this is masterful and deep)

An extended metaphor is the subtle foundation of the idea expressed. See how Hafez uses one here

"Not loving is a letting go.
Listen,
The terrain around here
Is
Far too
Dangerous
For
That.”

(I'm am sure this is more beautiful in the original Persian)

--

so maybe re-work what you have here and show us what you come up with. I am curious to see how it turns out 

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Pure Opinion: 

It'd be better if it was in more simple terms. The beauty of eloquence is when you take complex ideas and express them in simple yet powerful terms. You can't make something more profound by using more expensive words and structure. That doesn't mean you should burn your thesaurus, just be very very conscious about why you used a particular word over its synonyms. Read the words of the Imams and note how they spoke

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5 hours ago, guest 2025 said:

Pure Opinion: 

It'd be better if it was in more simple terms. The beauty of eloquence is when you take complex ideas and express them in simple yet powerful terms. You can't make something more profound by using more expensive words and structure. That doesn't mean you should burn your thesaurus, just be very very conscious about why you used a particular word over its synonyms. Read the words of the Imams and note how they spoke

Thank you so much 

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6 hours ago, Silas said:

I used to teach writing at a university in the states, and I have published fiction, non-fiction (scholarly) and some poetry. Nothing major, just a few things here and there

I generally like what you have here, and I can see that this is an ambitious attempt at an extended, complex metaphor. There is also a kind of logic to this: a premise, an objection (could one ...however ...)

But I think you can pull it back in and refine it. Whittle it down a bit and make the conclusion clearer--it is very abstract, and that can be OK, but remember this maxim:

A masterpiece requires authenticity without artifice, and intensity of expression without overabundance

Here is an excellent example of the difference between artifice and inauthentic writing vs. something that is a masterpiece

"Silence is more musical than any song" -Rosetti

(this is clever and poetic, but it is artifice, and doesn't hold together)

"When silence is prolonged over a certain period of time, it takes on a new meaning" -Mishima

(this is masterful and deep)

An extended metaphor is the subtle foundation of the idea expressed. See how Hafez uses one here

"Not loving is a letting go.
Listen,
The terrain around here
Is
Far too
Dangerous
For
That.”

(I'm am sure this is more beautiful in the original Persian)

--

so maybe re-work what you have here and show us what you come up with. I am curious to see how it turns out 

Venerable Professor I am ineffable at an to express my gratitude to you, thank you kind sir and I will consider all that you have said and implement it. 

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30 minutes ago, Mohammad313Ali said:

Venerable Professor I am ineffable at an to express my gratitude to you, thank you kind sir and I will consider all that you have said and implement it. 

thanks Mohammed! I am no professor, but a guy who loves writing and poetry

but I think you have real talent and should keep writing. 

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