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In the Name of God بسم الله

Reprogramming oneself at age twenty-seven

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  • Advanced Member

Calamities, misfortunes, and shortcomings. 

Are all perceptions. 

Your eyes see Darkness, When they are designed to perceive the light.

Your conscious of your difficulties and obstacles. Good.

Your obstacles and difficulties are not a hindrance to progress in your life, obstacles and difficulties are precisely what is needed to be addressed to progress in your life.

Living with a strict family will not bequeath you change or discipline.

IT is action.

In Every calamity exist a mercy.

And within every problem exists a solution.

A challenge does not exist without a challenger, who is willing to contest it. 

Mankind's Lost Paradise is found in the battlefield between life and martyrdom.

God bless you

I havent told you anything you don’t already you know.

Your servant, 

Azizaliallah

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@Northwest you really can’t summarise your spiritual journey in a series of bullet points. You also don’t need anyone to adopt you to 'reprogram' you. You don’t need reprogramming, you just need to evolve and better yourself, and that needs to come from within yourself not anyone else. 

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6 hours ago, Northwest said:

Specifically, I am wondering if I may be able to be adopted by, live with, and witness (or be tutored by) a very observant, strict family—directly or indirectly.

so what do you expect them to help you with that you perhaps cannot do for your self?. Are you wanting to be a slave? hoping for a master to smack you into the right direction?. Try to get a labour job doing heavy work. This is how life is for many with abled minds.

When we struggle with life, time goes very slow. In that slowness the mind starts to break apart. Most of what you have is poor social skills that then caused you to dysfunction in the real world. As not being able to relate to other humans or to understand how humans actually work. From the bad or the good. Nothing is going to fix that apart from you fixing things in your self. It will take years, but mostly it requires alot of introspection and self study. You need goals every day that you must write and attempt to achieve.

Your first goals should be to seek a form of part time employment. Find something and do it.

Volunteer, charities always seek help. Plenty of users there.

At your age, it should not be about excuses, I wish this and I wish that, what people respect is doers. Act. That should be your moto. I am going to ACT.

Listen to Emerson : Self Reliance on Youtube.

I will give you strictness Goals :

Get a job. Your aim is to make money. Uber, delivery driver, whatever.

Volunteer

Work out.

Once you start dealing with people and especially single males when they meet real women, they realise all that time they spend alone at home was a waste. They got left behind because of whatever tribulations that occured, generally it stemmed from poor education, so they regressed in life. I know guys who had no parents doing better then those with parents. So its upon the persons themselves. You want something, you have desires, then go get them. No one is going to hand it to you.

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First of all, good of you for taking action. Good for you for wanting to change. Good for you for not giving up. Great work. God-Willing you will be Successful. God helps the Believers.
About the "adoption" thing, I agree with some of what 2Timeless said, but I think you might be onto a great point; changing of environment, etc. If it is going to help you in your journey, then why not move to another place for example or... But I wouldn't focus too much on this, just you might want to consider it and don't be discouraged in that regard. We can talk about this point later maybe.

Some other thoughts:
1. Be sure of Shia Islam. (Your profile says agnostic. If this is still the case; start there. God, Prophethood, and Imamate can all be proven. Once one is sure, this is extremely helpful.
2.  Determine the goal. Then go for it.

(You do not have to worry about death if you;
1. Have fulfilled your obligations to God.
2. Do not sin.
3. Have a good moral trait/ethics/behavior.)

Some sources/... :
If you implement this letter in your life you are Succesful: https://www.Sistani.org/english/archive/25240/
Al-Islam.org; very useful including; the book  " Invitation to Islam ". 
Also this channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1PszuZUrX_xo_DroXsKsBg

If you like,  we can team up and I think I will be able to help you in your life. Of course, you can be Successful without me too, but still. 
I am now with somebody else working in a similar situation, and we are growing daily. I am not sure about your position in these matters. If you are a Shia Muslim, then my advice will be different compared with if you are not, for example.  

If the first phase/organization is good and set; then it is only a matter of action and time.

Edited by Mohammed-Mehdi
typos etc
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You need to very sincere in finding Him (The God).  When you can see Him in every walk of your life, then seek His Guidance so you will not follow your personal ways, but to follow His Ways.  Ponder upon the creation of stars, planets, moon, mountains, rivers and your own body.

Eventhough God can guide you directly, often He will get someone (physical) to guide you, be with you so that you will not be alone.  Evil force will also send someone (physical and spiritual) to mis-guide you.  You must insist on following God, because He is best Protector.  

Then God will introduce you to His Representives on the Earth with clear signs.  The first will be the Prophet.  Has believe in His Representatives.

You can live any place in this world, if you are sincere to find and be with Him.

How do you know that you are slowly guided...feel of peace in the heart, mind and souls.  You feel that you have the strength to reach for Him and avoid wrong stuff.

 

Maybe the verses from Qur'an below can be a source of guidance:

Yusufali 7:54] Your Guardian-Lord is Allah, Who created the heavens and the Earth in six days, and is firmly established on the throne (of authority): He draweth the night as a veil o'er the day, each seeking the other in rapid succession: He created the sun, the moon, and the stars, (all) governed by laws under His command. Is it not His to create and to govern? Blessed be Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds!


[Yusufali 7:55] Call on your Lord with humility and in private: for Allah loveth not those who trespass beyond bounds.


[Yusufali 7:56] Do no mischief on the Earth, after it hath been set in order, but call on Him with fear and longing (in your hearts): for the Mercy of Allah is (always) near to those who do good.

Edited by layman
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Amazing, Chuck Palahniuk described you in Fight Club. Palahniuk’s main point in his book was to show how men always look for a father figure other than their actual father to mentor them, show them the world. Find someone you could shadow. Learn from them, hang out with them. It only takes 40 days for you to adopt their behaviors. I’ve tried this and it worked for me.

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12 hours ago, Northwest said:
  • Feels that he lacks virtually all the skills to be an independent adult, not sure what to prioritise
  • Battle between guilty conscience, inferiority complex, and a very stubborn, complicated nafs

Brother, we are a family to you. Until you get a family who adopts you, I'm ready to be a strict older brother of yours. You mentioned two problems here to which I think as follows:

1. Every person who is at the beginning of being independent thinks of him as lacking skills but you should be confident that you are human and Allah (عزّ وجلّ) has given you ability to adapt and learn in new situations.

2. All of us have a guilty conscience due to stubborn Nafs, we should learn to avoid our nafs and try not lose hope to get better.

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  • Advanced Member (With Brothers Forum Membership)
15 hours ago, Northwest said:
  • Stopped listening to music in the past year and tried to avoid looking at females, but desperate
  • Wishes he was brought up in a much stricter family and/or responded to challenges better
  • Feels that he lacks virtually all the skills to be an independent adult, not sure what to prioritise
  • Battle between guilty conscience, inferiority complex, and a very stubborn, complicated nafs

hi , these are same as Shia Muslims practices & conflicts also I recommend you to read duaa-makarimul-akhlaq & try to use it in your daily life as a step by step  process like doing just one line of it in a week.

https://www.al-Islam.org/supplications-month-ramadhan/duaa-makarimul-akhlaq-honorable-morals

His Supplication on Noble Moral Traits (Makarimul Akhlaq) Acts Pleasing to God (Supplication - 20)
This Du'a has been taught by Imam Sajjad (عليه السلام) and is a clear indication of the loftiness of moral virtues expected of a believer. Islam believes in the elevation of the human being, that a human is a great and dignified creation, far above the animal world. One of the signs of this dignity is the possession of noble and magnanimous qualities.

In order to achieve this behavioral excellence, man needs to overcome his base and selfish attributes, and cultivate noble qualities.

http://www.duas.org/sajjadiya/s20.htm

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Thank you to everyone who posted above. Very helpful.

@Northwest I am a mother and I do not recommend that you leave your parents. You say you are dependant on them, but they also depend on you. Even if you move out, try to stay close enough that it is easy for you to go see them every day or two, then every weekend or once a month. I'm sure that people who are separated by miles, in different  countries, would tell you that phone calls and FaceTime or Skype (while good alternatives) are not the same as being there and hugging each other. 

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You should be grateful for your parents. My parents were much better parents when they were not religious. Ever since they decided to become strict and religious, they became hypocritical, cruel and unfair. They favor my sister too much and this has become the reason I lost interest in religion. You don't appreciate what you have until it is gone. 

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Guest Justme

Salam,
I had quite the same situation as u. Born in Germany.

Brought up in a Muslim house hold. Origin south Asian.

Now I am an agnostic and feel peace everyday. I consider myself still a Muslim, but also an agnostic, stoic, mystic, seeker, lover, there are no names. 'I am you' , as Rumi said so wisely.

The struggle wont be over so easily once you start to aim at your inner strength, but I know you can and will Start to do it some day. don’t put urself under pressure. I was 35 when my journey began, now I am 39, still somehow dependant, but God made me see that it is love that unites and frees us all. First of all the love to urself, then love for the people around you.

Get maybe professional help, from a therapist, cause asking for help is the first sign of showing strength. Trust me. Islam is a nice way to find the route but maybe not the only one, especially in Ur case with an upbringing in the US. No judgment, cause I don’t know you. I just thought I felt ur pain and it hit very close to what I was and still am.

I respect all the people, all Shia, Sunni, Christian, Jews, and seekers of true peace, inner peace and peace for communities around us.

I recommend to you to have a look at the 'biblical series' from Jordan B. Peterson on Youtube. Its a twelve Part Series for people, for Shia, for Muslims, for Christians, for all...

Will help you

May God bless you and your family

All the best brother / sister

regards justme

 

 

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Having a Belief is not that we only believe in something, rather it is to change ourselves according to what we believe. Because even Satan believes, in fact he knows for certain, but he does not change.

So brother if you truly believe then change accordingly. Your parents, no matter in what state, are your parents and can not be ignored. You must care for them above all else in this world if you believe. Just love them and only disobey when they command against the wishes of the Creator. Explain it to them with humility and love when that happens and be mindful of your responsibility to take care of them. You should have a friendly and helpful attitude with all, employing the best of manners you can. Islam was spread due to "the very great manners" of the Prophet according to Qur'an. Creatures have right on you too and to believe is to also fulfill those rights. Read Risalatul huqooq (Treaties of rights) by Imam Sajjad so you know which persons have how much rights on you and you should see that they are fulfilled. Parents, siblings, spouses, children, relatives, neighbors have the highest rights.

To believe is to sacrifice. It is the hardest thing to do in this material world. To sacrifice what we desire in order to gain the pleasure of our Creator. Through sacrifice we gain the hereafter. And do not despair. Losing hope and excessive worrying means a person does not really believe. Let go of and let Allah worry for your problems, you can only try so do try your best and then leave it to God.

Praying is the remembrance of Allah, our personal relationship with God. Fasting is the sacrifice of our nafs for Him. Hajj is visiting Him. Zakaat/spending in His way is the sacrifice of and purification of our possessions. We learn all these things by the lives of the best of Creatures, the Prophet and his household, whose way is the only chosen example for us and meant to be followed.

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Guest 1234

I'm in a similar boat. What I'm doing is volunteering at a mosque and I really really recommend it. God will see you and will guide you. If you're sincere and are willing to do what you know you should be doing and not do what you know you shouldn't be doing, God will make solutions run to you. I've literally had a stranger walk up to me in the mosque, start talking, then kept offering me jobS. As we kept speaking I noticed that this person was very very similar to me in regards to the problems he's gone through, it was like meeting an alternate dimension version of myself, one who kept working at it and made it. He left me his number in case I needed any advice. Here was a mentor, tailor made for me, and God had him (a complete stranger) walk up to me and start chatting.

It all comes down to recognizing who is the One who has what we want, and seeking it from Him. People always talk about seeking guidance from God, and we think "Yeah yeah, of course" and not really change our actions, but trust me as soon as you ACTIVELY live your life by Islamic advice, miracles will happen around you. Islam is also a PRACTICAL religion, it should have an impact on our actions just as much as our thoughts and words.

If you really are sincere, then consider your wishes as good as done. But don't be surprised if God's solution isn't exactly what you had in mind.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Advanced Member (With Brothers Forum Membership)

Ayatollah Bahjat have made it clear that if a Muslim acts upon what they know, they will be succesfull. No matter how much they know or the situation in their lifes, if they act upon what they know... 

I thint it was mentioned in one of these episodes:


(Higly Recommended)

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  • 3 months later...
  • Advanced Member
Posted (edited)
Quote

Besides Being A Jew, "Lanza Was Mentally Ill, Suffering From Asperger's... People With This Disease Hate The Society Around Them"

"But what really happened[?] According to most of the popular websites in America that receive no favors from the Jewish lobby, such as Firstpost and some of the [Occupy] Wall Street movement websites, Adam Lanza was a Jew.

"Another point is that the Zionist media did not reveal [other] dimensions of the incident. They published a photo of Lanza as a boy, to show his innocence – but the 20-year-old Lanza had an aggressive expression on his face.

"[Yet] another important point that some American websites mentioned was that Lanza was mentally ill, suffering from Asperger's, a communication [disability]; people with this disease hate the society around them [emphasis in original].

"Someone with this disease isn't interested in forming a relationship with society; he is indifferent to [others'] suffering, and sometimes is even interested [in it].

"According to Wikipedia, this disease differs from autism in that the afflicted individual is capable of talking with others and does not have cognitive problems. In effect, this disease is characterized by an aversion to society.

"It is interesting that according to some medical websites, this disease is common among Western Jews, that is, Ashkenazis, who are now fearlessly continuing their historic oppression of the Palestinians [emphasis in original]."

Link

Since I have Asperger’s and suffer from its effects, including the effects underlined above, and am of partial Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry, how may I eliminate this, since I am interested in reverting to Islam, but cannot get rid of the negative, anti-Islamic side effects of Asperger’s? I feel that my ancestry has tainted me. I have looked at many Islamic and non-Islamic sources for assistance in this matter, and I have taken prescribed medication, but nothing has helped. When I try to approach religion, I get psychosomatic effects, even though my logical side bends me toward religion. Since Zionists control the vaccine industry that leads to more cases of Asperger’s, and since I was immunised at age two, I am unable to find any natural cures for this. The situation is critical, since the traits of Asperger’s are among the remaining stumbling blocks hindering me in my path toward Islam. For example, even when I educate myself about Islam, many of the hadith seem to feed my antisocial side, since they mention the negative conditions of the End Times.

Edited by Northwest
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Posted (edited)

Salam, 

I am a revert to Islam. Both parents are from a European background originally (Irish, Scottish, German) although both sides of my family have been in the US for quite a few generations. I was raised Christian, specifically Lutheran in California. Being from this background and this upbringing / ancestry was initially a challenge when I reverted. The main thing I had a problem with was that my family on one side was agnostic, i.e. didn't take religion seriously at all. On the other side, they were fundamentalist Evangelical Christians, who took religion very seriously but were anti Muslim. So I was constantly criticized by my family from both sides. One side thought I was taking my reversion too seriously, the other side thought for sure I was going to hell.

I am not going to lie about it or sugar coat it for those who are thinking about reverting. Reverting and being from a non muslim, non practicing family is a challenge, probably the greatest challenge you will face in your life. The difficult thing is to navigate between either not being, what people consider 'too religious' in order to please your family, i.e. compromising the halal and haram, the Sharia in order to please your family and being too strict and judgmental, keeping the halal and haram and not compromising but at the same time being rude, stand offish, and overly judgmental regarding non muslim family, and eventually being alienated from them. 

It is difficult, but what you get in return is maybe 100 or 1000 times better and more amazing. You get a faith and an abiding peace which draws you closer toward Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). In Church, they used to talk about 'The peace which passes all understanding'. I never found that in Christianity, but I found it in Islam. If you take a step toward Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) will take 10 steps toward you. This is something that noone will understand unless they actually take the step. Taking the step means doing the things which Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has commanded us to do, like Prayer, Fasting, Hajj, Charity, and increasing our love for and knowledge of those whom Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has chosen to lead us in this life and the next (i.e. Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) and his Chosen Progeny the Ahl Al Bayt((عليه السلام))) and performing the former mentioned in the way they taught us to do them. 

Being from a certain ancestry and background is a huge impediment in the beginning. It is a large barrier, but once it is overcome the strength, courage, and fortitude you receive from that process will carry you thru this life and into the next life in a way that is safe and sound and will lead to ultimate and true happiness. IMHO, as far as psychological diagnosis, such as Asperger, ADHD, etc, most of these are just a ruse by the Pharmaceutical Industry to sell more medications. There are some, such as Schizophrenia,  and some other types which are biologically based and which do require medication, but the definition of what is and isn't a psychological illness, because of the motivation of capitalism and the ever increasing need to certain industries to increase their sales, has been stretched to the horizon now and probably almost everyone, if they were to be evaluated by a phychologist or a psychiatrist, would be diagnosed with something. 

IMHO, the main problem is not the brain but the spirit, or the soul. Since the majority of psychologists / psychiatrists are either agnostic or atheists and either don't believe in a soul at all or have only a weak and 'squishy' idea of what it is, they will attribute every type of socially unacceptable behavior to a biological cause or a neuro-biological cause. Medications treat the body and / or the brain, but most of the time these are not the cause. The vast majority of these illnesses have nothing to do with this. As Muslims, we believe that the soul is the 'driver' of the human being. The brain and body are only passengers and go wherever the soul takes them and obeys the commands of the soul. THe soul is the origin of 'will' or the 'free will' of the human being. The mind and the body then obey what this 'will' tells them to do. Every human being has a very strong and innate desire to have a connection with it's Creator, God(s.w.a) or Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). This is the 'driver' for the state of the soul. When this connection is weakened thru their own confusion, or they are confused by society and then their own behaviors, in their confusion , further weaken this connection, they develop all sorts of problems because of this. These problems manifest in different forms, but the cure for all of them is the same, it involves strengthening this connection and restoring it to it original state which it was when we were born. This is the process of reversion, and that is why we are called 'Reverts' and not 'Converts'. When the connection with Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is strengthened, the soul changes its state into a purified form. In this form or this state, it then commands the body and the brain to come up with ideas, think thoughts, and do actions which are healthy and productive for the individual and also society. Good thoughts and good actions wipe away bad thoughts and bad actions. So the only thing necessary to get rid of bad thoughts and bad actions is the presence of good thoughts and good actions. These good thoughts and good actions will only start to appear consistently and regularly in the person when the state of the soul is changed thru strengthening the connection to the Creator(s.w.a). 

Converts means to change from one thing into something else, 'Revert' means to go back to what you were originally. We were all born in submission to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) (Islam) because we did not have the power to control anything and were wholly and totally dependent on the Mercy of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and by extension the good behavior of those around us for our survival. This reality hasn't changed, but when we develop certain skills, like being able to get our own food, our own house, pay our own bills, develop relationships that we choose outside of our family, etc, we sometimes come under the illusion that we are independent, at this point, and no longer totally dependent on the Mercy of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) for our survival. It is this illusion of Independence from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) that is the beginning of all our problems. Once we align our souls back with the reality of our situation, we then are prepared to submit to what Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has asked us to do, and to refrain from what He(s.w.a) has asked us to refrain from. Once we begin to do that, then our picture of reality becomes more and more clear until we dis attach ourselves from this lower world(the word for this is Zuhud) and then we find true peace and satisfaction. That is why the word Islam means submission and it also means peace. The beginning of the process of Islam is submission to what Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has ordered us, the end and goal of the process is peace within ourselves. This is the process. You don't need to be adopted by a 'strict' family in order to begin this process. You just need to begin. Take a step. Salam. 

Edited by Abu Hadi
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  • Advanced Member
16 hours ago, Northwest said:

Link

Since I have Asperger’s and suffer from its effects, including the effects underlined above, and am of partial Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry, how may I eliminate this, since I am interested in reverting to Islam, but cannot get rid of the negative, anti-Islamic side effects of Asperger’s? I feel that my ancestry has tainted me. I have looked at many Islamic and non-Islamic sources for assistance in this matter, and I have taken prescribed medication, but nothing has helped. When I try to approach religion, I get psychosomatic effects, even though my logical side bends me toward religion. Since Zionists control the vaccine industry that leads to more cases of Asperger’s, and since I was immunised at age two, I am unable to find any natural cures for this. The situation is critical, since the traits of Asperger’s are among the remaining stumbling blocks hindering me in my path toward Islam. For example, even when I educate myself about Islam, many of the hadith seem to feed my antisocial side, since they mention the negative conditions of the End Times.

Asperger's doesn't make you evil, it just gives you a different set of problems. If it wasn't this, God would have given you something else and it would bother you just as much, nobody gets off scot free. But fortunately for us, we know that He doesn't give us burdens we can't handle. I know somebody well in the spectrum whose piety is impressive.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Advanced Member
Posted (edited)
On 7/10/2020 at 12:50 PM, Abu Hadi said:

The difficult thing is to navigate between either not being, what people consider 'too religious' in order to please your family, i.e. compromising the halal and haram, the Sharia in order to please your family and being too strict and judgmental, keeping the halal and haram and not compromising but at the same time being rude, stand offish, and overly judgmental regarding non muslim family, and eventually being alienated from them. 

@Abu Hadi

What further complicates matters is narrations such as this:

Quote

It is not advisable to be respectful and humble towards non-believers. One should not deal with them at a level of equality or superiority. A disbeliever is not deserving of respect because he does not acknowledge Allah ((سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).), the Supreme Being and in effect has degraded himself to a despicable position of those who openly defy Allah ((سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).); like the disbeliever who proclaims his disbelief with impunity, and the sinner and transgressor who sins openly and brazenly, the oppressor, and the one who insults the signs of Allah ((سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).); these are the people whom we should treat with anger and harshness, for the sake of Allah ((سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).).

Thus we must be humble and lowly before the believer and high and arrogant before the disbeliever. If any believer accords respect to a disbeliever, it is, as if he has preferred disbelief to faith in the Almighty Allah ((سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).). That is he has acted in a contrary manner. Because honour is for Allah ((سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).), the prophet and the believers. (Surah Munafiqūn).

‘Ali ((عليه السلام).) says,

The Messenger of Allah (S) has commanded us to behave with sinners in an acerbic way.25

Source

Of course, the same source also indicates:

Quote

A subtle point of great significance has to be emphasized here. It must be entirely clear to us that the anger and arrogance that we exhibit is entirely in obedience to the commands of our religion according to which we have to be enemies with those who are enemies of Allah ((سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).). In no way do these commands imply that we should really believe ourselves to be superior to the sinners. (??? – ed.) At no stage should a personal feeling of pride and superiority over the sinner ever enter our hearts.

This seems a bit contradictory. Anger and harshness, to me, imply some kind of superiority in the sense that believers are superior to nonbelievers, yet this excerpt seems to have it both ways. Also, how can one be arrogant and humble at the same time? Arrogance, to me, connotes some sense of pride and superiority.

Definition of arrogance:

Quote

arrogant | ˈarəɡ(ə)nt | adjective having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities: he's arrogant and opinionated | a typically arrogant assumption.

There are other hadith and sources, including on al-Islam.org, that argue the exact opposite, including certain expositions of the Qur’ān itself.

From the above source:

Quote

Be Good to Parents Even if They Are Kafirs

Whether the parents are believers and pious or Kafirs and sinful, goodness towards them is Wajib. And ‘Āq al-Walidayn’ is Harām.

The verse of Surah Luqmān says thus,

“And if they contend with you that you should associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them, and keep company with them in this world kindly...”. (Surah Luqmān 31:15) ...

Mu’mins and Kafirs Are Equal Under Three Circumstances

Hazrat Imam Muhammad al-Baqir ((عليه السلام).) said;

Allah has not given superiority to a Mu’min in three circumstances.

First, to return what has been entrusted to you for safe keeping whether it belongs to a Mu’min or a Kafir.

Second, fulfilling an oath, whether given to a Mu’min or a Kafir. Third, doing good to the parents, whether they be Mu’min or Kafir.”15

A letter on various aspects of Islamic Shari’a, written by Hazrat Imam Riďa ((عليه السلام).) to Mamun, include the following:

“Benevolence to parents is Wajib even if both of them are ‘Mushrik’. However obedience to parents is not Wajib if their order is against the orders of the Creator.”16

Again, these kinds of discrepancies further confuse me when dealing with an already complicated matrix/situation. Too many nuances...

Many nuances to remember and recall in various situations under ever-changing circumstances and combinations of factors. Nervous...

The other factor is that the smallest or least noticeable sin or demerit has consequences, which certainly adds to the pressure and anxiety.

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Posted (edited)

Another example:

Quote

The serpent will reply, “I want five groups of people. Those who neglected prayer, those who didn’t pay Zakat, those who took usury, the drunkards and those who talk of worldly things in the Masjids. (Meaning Harām conversation. For example the backbiting of Muslims and falsely accusing them, or to start an illegal practice, praising an oppressor or praising a person who doesn’t deserve this praise, or criticising a person who is free from blame.)12

Source

Then:

Quote

Many traditional reports mention terrible consequences for those who help and assist the people who neglect prayer. As mentioned by the Messenger of Allah (S),

One who helps the neglecter of Prayer by giving him food or cloth acts as if he has murdered 70 prophets, the first of whom being Adam ((عليه السلام).) and the last Hazrat Muhammad Mustafa (S).”13

He (S) also said,

One who gives a draught of water to the neglecter of prayer, acts as if he has made war against me and battled with all the prophets.14

The Holy Prophet is also reported to have stated,

One who laughs with the neglecter of prayer, it is as if he has demolished the Ka’ba 70 times.15

It may also be that helping or not helping does not have any effect on the person who neglects prayers. In this case it is not clear whether one should withhold help. There is a possibility that some assistance may in fact encourage a person to start praying or to stop sinning, in which case, needless to say, helping becomes obligatory.

Source

But since spying on fellow Muslims is discouraged, then what if one Muslim assists another who has neglected prayer, but the former is unaware of this?

And in end, how would one determine whether lending assistance or not would induce negative or positive effects on the one who neglects prayer?

There are also many possible conditions under which prayer may be neglected and merit punishment in the Hereafter, including correctness of dua:

Quote

2. It has also been mentioned that there are others who do not deny Allah ((سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).)’s complete supremacy and accept the fact that prayers have been made obligatory, but they never pray out of sheer laziness or due to excessive involvement in worldly affairs. These are the people who are not condemned as unbelievers but they are transgressors who have committed a greater sin, for which they will have to undergo severe punishment. Even if such a person were to die a believer, he can get salvation only after he has undergone the rigours of punishment. That a person who omits prayer can die a believer is itself a highly remote possibility, because sins make a person hard hearted and destroys his faith; except that the Almighty with His kindness and mercy heeds the call for help at the time of death and because of the sinner’s love for Ahl ul-Bayt ((عليه السلام).) allows him to die a believer.

3. A third category of people are those who do not omit prayers altogether but pray occasionally. These are people whose faith is weak and lacks the strength of firm conviction. Such people when they do pray may be inclined to postpone prayers after the time has set it, on the grounds that they would pray later and may not pray at the earliest hour.

Certainly this way of neglecting Prayer is different from the previous two kinds but such a person has also considered Prayers unimportant, so whatever punishment is promised for those who belittle or omit Prayers will be applicable to him also.

If Prayer is valid the other worship acts shall be considered valid too, but if it is not correct his other deeds are also invalid.

Source

Quote

“One day the Messenger of Allah was sitting in the Mosque when a person entered and started praying. But he did not perform the Rukū’ and Sajdahs properly (he did not recite the Wajib formulas or did so incorrectly, or he might not have remained still or failed to maintain composure during recitation or movements) The Messenger of Allah (S) said, He (this man) touches his forehead to the ground like a crow pecks at the earth and lifts it. If he dies praying like this he would not die on my religion.”18

The Messenger of Allah (S) said,

The greatest thief is one who steals in his Prayer.” Someone asked him, “O Messenger of Allah! How could one steal in his Prayer?” He (S) replied,

Source

Since I was born into a non-Muslim family and have only considered reverting twenty-seven years later, I already feel that my heart may be too dark to revert properly. I lived in South(-east) Florida from birth in 1992 to 2012 and then relocated to the Tampa Bay Area before moving over to Scandinavia within the past year and a half. Since there were/are no Shia Islamic centres in either of this areas, and since at the time I was not particularly interested in religion (though I had bad experiences with evangelical neighbours for some years), I did not really research Shia Islam in depth, though I did conduct limited research on religion in general and took a basic introductory course on world religions while attending university for a few years. I also was vaccinated at age two and then developed behavioural problems that have lasted till present. I am concerned that maybe I did something in the World of Particles that caused (the) God to deny me a good fitrah because He knew I would sin anyway and so allowed me to be vaccinated and born into an area without access to the proper interpretation of Islam while also shutting off my interest in religion and good conduct for so many years, so that even now my interest is too late. I also have trouble focusing properly at times. Perhaps the negative experience with evangelicals caused some untoward resentment and inability to be properly appreciative and thankful.

On the other hand:

Quote

Neglecting Hajj causes poverty

The Messenger of Allah (S) says in the Sermon of Ghadīr:

“O gathering of People! Perform the Hajj of the Holy House. Those families who perform Hajj become wealthy and those who neglect Hajj will be reduced to penury.”

“O gathering of People! The Haji is helped by Allah and whatever they spent (on Hajj) is restored to them in this world. And Allah does not waste the recompense of the doers of good (in hereafter).”6

Imam Baqir ((عليه السلام).) says,

“Three things are such whose reward is in this life in addition to that of the Hereafter: Hajj that removes poverty, Sadaqah that removes calamities and doing good (to others) which increases the life span.”7

Source

There are obviously many rich unbelievers who have died wealthy, so I am a bit curious about the bolded statements. How shall I properly interpret this?

I am also reading this legal treatise in regard to insanity and idiocy. I am attempting to determine whether I am mentally capable or not. I wish I had an Islamic scholar or someone who could evaluate me in person, because I have trouble determining and assessing myself, since I often confuse the meanings of words or overlook certain things. As the link illustrates, there are so many Islamic guidelines that further confusion may ensue in my mind at times.

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Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, Northwest said:

@Abu Hadi

What further complicates matters is narrations such as this:

Source

Of course, the same source also indicates:

This seems a bit contradictory. Anger and harshness, to me, imply some kind of superiority in the sense that believers are superior to nonbelievers, yet this excerpt seems to have it both ways. Also, how can one be arrogant and humble at the same time? Arrogance, to me, connotes some sense of pride and superiority.

Definition of arrogance:

There are other hadith and sources, including on al-Islam.org, that argue the exact opposite, including certain expositions of the Qur’ān itself.

From the above source:

Again, these kinds of discrepancies further confuse me when dealing with an already complicated matrix/situation. Too many nuances...

Many nuances to remember and recall in various situations under ever-changing circumstances and combinations of factors. Nervous...

The other factor is that the smallest or least noticeable sin or demerit has consequences, which certainly adds to the pressure and anxiety.

The author of the first quote is obviously confused about the difference between kufar and fasiq. Kufar (Non believer) has two meanings. First meaning is a non muslim. Second meaning is someone who actively rejects truth while knowing it is the truth. But the hadith that the author quoted is not talking about Kufar, it is talking about the fasiq. The Fasiq(commonly translated as 'sinner' in English) is someone who claims to be a muslim but openly and publicly violates a certain well known point of Islamic laws. For example, it is clear to every muslim that drinking alcohol is haram(prohibited) yet there are some muslims who drink alcohol in public. These people who claim to be muslim and do this would be considered 'fasiq'. That is what Rasoulallah((عليه السلام)) is talking about in the hadith (assuming this is an authentic hadith). This is different than 'sinner'. All muslims (except the 14 masomeen) are sinners, because they have committed a sin at least once in their life. They are not fasiq because, first they don't do this sin publically, and if they did in the past they ask forgiveness for it, second, they don't consider this sin to be something 'good' and they don't encourage others to do it. 

Also, the word 'fasiq' does not apply to to non muslims, because being a fasiq means that you claim to be a muslim first before violating the religion. 

There is no hadith that I am familiar with that says that we should be rude or hostile to someone who isn't muslim simply because they are a non muslim. In fact, I can quote you many authentic hadith that say the opposite. If a non muslim is acting in an unjust and oppressive way, we should 'call them out on it' in an appropriate way if we can and not accept it, but this applies equally to muslims.

There is a rule about making a non muslim your 'Wali'. Wali means someone whom you depend on in critical situations, i.e. someone you consider to be your 'Guardian' or your leader. Non muslims are not allowed to be the Wali of Muslims. The word 'Wali' can also mean 'Friend' in some contexts, but this word has different meanings that depend on Context. Some people who don't know Arabic translate the word 'Wali' as 'Friend' and say that Muslims are not allowed to be friends of non muslims. This is of course a wrong translation of the word. You can be a friend of someone without making them your Wali (Guardian or leader). 

As a general rule, and I follow this myself, if I see someone making an argument based on a translated hadith without any source, or even with a source which is also translated, I will generally throw out this argument (not give it credibility) unless this argument is based on something which I already know to be true by studying authentic sources. The problem with new reverts or those learning about Islam from mostly online sources is that there is alot of arguments presented in this way and the new revert has no prior knowledge (or very little) from authentic sources to compare these arguments against.

So stick to what you know with a high degree of certainty about the religion. Leave the other things on the side, without making a judgement one way or another about them, until your base of knowledge is sufficient so that you can make an informed decision based of facts rather than speculation. Remaking yourself is a process, not an act. 

 

 

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18 hours ago, Northwest said:

There are obviously many rich unbelievers who have died wealthy, so I am a bit curious about the bolded statements. How shall I properly interpret this?

Hi poverty is not just loosing wealth & money but also other aspects like decreasing  & loosing of faith that all of us will see real poverty & real richness after death in judgment  day that rich unbelievers  left their wealth in this world for their inheritors that after death they are the most poor & empty handed people in judgment  day because we will receive  our reward based on our level of our faith & our deeds not based on our wealth in this world that unbelievers  will have nothing with them to receive any reward in judgment  day in exchange  of it. 

 

18 hours ago, Northwest said:

I am concerned that maybe I did something in the World of Particles that caused (the) God to deny me a good fitrah because He knew I would sin anyway and so allowed me to be vaccinated and born into an area without access to the proper interpretation of Islam while also shutting off my interest in religion and good conduct for so many years, so that even now my interest is too late. I also have trouble focusing properly at times.

God never denies anyone even you & you can see your problems in other people  even muslims but you are very sensitive  about it & now you & all of us have access many interpretation  through this site that you can choose  best of them & your interest is not too late but also anytime  is appropriate  for your interest that God put a you in a way to come here to choose best choice & interpretation by your current situation 

18 hours ago, Northwest said:

I already feel that my heart may be too dark to revert properly

this is just trick of your mind & whisper of Satan .

21 hours ago, Northwest said:

Many nuances to remember and recall in various situations under ever-changing circumstances and combinations of factors. Nervous...

The other factor is that the smallest or least noticeable sin or demerit has consequences, which certainly adds to the pressure and anxiety.

the punishment for  neglects is for people that neglect their religious  duties while they have no reason for neglecting  their duty & they don't  suffer from any restrictions due to conditions . It's true that every sin has consequence  but in other hand doing good deeds & repentance   have great rewards that it will overcome consequences of sins also Allah/God is the most forgiving & the most merciful that know you better than yourself & knows about your intention  & condition  better than yourself.

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Posted (edited)
16 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

...

@Abu Hadi

To clarify: I am currently researching the differences between the Usuli and Akhbari factions and the derivatives thereof. Based on my research, the latter, Akhbari faction tends to be more literalistic in its interpretation of the Qur’ān and hadith than the Usuli, which relies on itjihad undertaken by qualified jurists. The Akhbari faction, by contrast, does not accept itjihad in principle unless it is undertaken by a member of the infallible Ahl’ al-Bayt. This latter faction tends to be more critical of the IRI and its establishment than the Usuli. Akhbari adherents also criticise the use of qiyas. People who are critical of modernism and its synthesis with the Usuli school, especially under the IRI, and who sense the hand of Masonry in world events tend to be more sympathetic to the Akhabari faction, all other factors being equal. Personally, based on my research and holism, I am leaning more toward the Akhabari side. Was the deceased individual whose work I quoted, Sayyid Shirazi, one of the Usuli or Akhbari?

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1 hour ago, Northwest said:

@Abu Hadi

To clarify: I am currently researching the differences between the Usuli and Akhbari factions and the derivatives thereof. Based on my research, the latter, Akhbari faction tends to be more literalistic in its interpretation of the Qur’ān and hadith than the Usuli, which relies on itjihad undertaken by qualified jurists. The Akhbari faction, by contrast, does not accept itjihad in principle unless it is undertaken by a member of the infallible Ahl’ al-Bayt. This latter faction tends to be more critical of the IRI and its establishment than the Usuli. Akhbari adherents also criticise the use of qiyas. People who are critical of modernism and its synthesis with the Usuli school, especially under the IRI, and who sense the hand of Masonry in world events tend to be more sympathetic to the Akhabari faction, all other factors being equal. Personally, based on my research and holism, I am leaning more toward the Akhabari side. Was the deceased individual whose work I quoted, Sayyid Shirazi, one of the Usuli or Akhbari?

 

I also researched into the Akhbari and found them extreme and terribly lacking in manners, something against the sunnah of the infallibles. They employ ad hominems and similar tactics to cover for the lack of logic and evidence in their favor.

Secondly there is no qiyas among the Usooli. There is plenty of evidence which instructs us to adhere to the scholars, especially in a time like this, the ghaybah. Akhbari cannot answer many essential things. God sent the Prophet for mankind, the Prophet before leaving leaves Imamate for mankind, and the Imam when leaving did not leave any authority? How can that be?

As for "being critical" of the only Shia nation, state, authority, power on the face of the planet, the IRI, what makes that a measure of truthfulness or level of faith of someone? Are they not human? Do the Usooli say they are infallible? Are they not sacrificing whatever it takes to fight the axis of evil for all mankind? The issue is pretty obvious. Meanwhile the Akhbari mullah openly on national TV will say "Long live the Queen".

Just question the Akhbari a little and they will pepper you with insults and then you will find out if they practice sunnah or not.

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8 hours ago, Northwest said:

@Abu Hadi

To clarify: I am currently researching the differences between the Usuli and Akhbari factions and the derivatives thereof. Based on my research, the latter, Akhbari faction tends to be more literalistic in its interpretation of the Qur’ān and hadith than the Usuli, which relies on itjihad undertaken by qualified jurists. The Akhbari faction, by contrast, does not accept itjihad in principle unless it is undertaken by a member of the infallible Ahl’ al-Bayt. This latter faction tends to be more critical of the IRI and its establishment than the Usuli. Akhbari adherents also criticise the use of qiyas. People who are critical of modernism and its synthesis with the Usuli school, especially under the IRI, and who sense the hand of Masonry in world events tend to be more sympathetic to the Akhabari faction, all other factors being equal. Personally, based on my research and holism, I am leaning more toward the Akhabari side. Was the deceased individual whose work I quoted, Sayyid Shirazi, one of the Usuli or Akhbari?

Salam. Sayyid Shirazi is a very common name. This is the Equivalent of saying 'Mr. Shirazi'. So you would need to be more specific. 

You need to be cautious when dealing with the Akbari school of thought, especially those who don't have a clear and extensive knowledge of hadith in their original language, which was Arabic. To be able to do what the Akbaris attempt to do, i.e. do ad hoc ijtihad based on their interpretation of hadith, you need to have a very firm understanding of the Arabic language including grammar, syntax, Arabic poetry, and Arabic literature at the time when these hadith were spoken to give you context, if you are looking for the 'literal' meaning of words. Language does not exist in a vacuum, and meanings of words change all the time, sometimes from generation to generation or decade to decade.  To give a quick proof for this, the word 'gay' in English. Before the 1950's or so, to say I'm gay meant 'Im happy'. Today saying this would have a totally different meaning. It's the same word. Alll languages that I am familiar with have these same issues with context. So you need to understand the context, not just the words of the hadith to get the meaning. 

Akbaris who have this knowledge are in a different category from those who don't have this knowledge and attempt to interpret hadith which are translated. That is like attempting to figure out which people are in a photograph and the photograph is blurry. There is no way you will be able to figure it out. You might see shapes and know that they are people in the photograph and maybe how many, but not more than that. Translated hadith are at best a blurry photograph. The vast majority of the Akbaris you will come across on this site are the latter category, because this is an English website. 

That is the main reason why I am firmly in the Usouli camp. It is a more fair and democratic ideaology, IMHO. The vast majority of Shia do not have the knowledge to interpret hadith from their original sources, even the ones who know Arabic. Because the Arabic that the Imams spoke and wrote in, called 'Fusha' or formal Arabic, is basically a different language from the modern spoken dialects of Arabic, although the grammar and vocabulary has some similarities. So does that mean that they will live their life in misguidance, never sure if they are even doing the basics like Salat(prayer), Saum(fasting), Khums, Hajj, etc correctly ? That would be a bad situation. That is why we have the institution of marjaa' and taqleed. You don't have to understand all the relevant hadiths regarding Salat to do your Salat correctly. You just have to follow what your marjaa' says, and you will get the benefit of their extensive knowledge on the subject. It is similar to those people who spurn going to see a doctor and attempt to diagnose themselves. Theoretically, this is possible, I mean you could order medical books, research online, etc. But would you do that ? I wouldn't. Because if you are wrong you could end up harming or killing yourself. The only situation where that is a viable option is if you don't have access to the expertise of a doctor. If you do, the much better choice is to take advantage of the many years of study of the doctor in order to come up with the correct diagnosis. After all, the goal is getting the correct diagnosis. The research is only a means to that goal, not the goal. 

About the IRI, the Akbaris don't accept the concept of Marjaa' and Taqleed. The Government of the IRI is based on one interpretation of Wilayat Al Faqih(the leadership of the Jurist). Wilayat Al Faqih is based on the idea of Marjaa' and Taqleed. So if you don't accept the idea of Marjaa' and Taqleed, then logically you will not accept the idea of Wilayat Al Faqih. 

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Posted (edited)
On 7/19/2020 at 10:11 PM, Abu Hadi said:

There is no hadith that I am familiar with that says that we should be rude or hostile to someone who isn't muslim simply because they are a non muslim. In fact, I can quote you many authentic hadith that say the opposite. If a non muslim is acting in an unjust and oppressive way, we should 'call them out on it' in an appropriate way if we can and not accept it, but this applies equally to muslims.

@Abu Hadi

Evidence may suggest otherwise:

Quote

Allow me to give a simple example regarding how complicated even just the theoretical discussion on "unity" is (let alone practical and how we are to implement it), just so people on here can think about it from a different perspective. The notion of interfaith or interreligious dialogue or unity is a modern phenomenon that sprung out of the modern secular state. For much of human history, there was no concept of interfaith or interreligious unity, because it made no sense to be on good terms with someone you fundamentally and theologically disagreed with and considered them to be hell-bound. The mainstream Shi'i theological view is no different. You can pick up any scholar from the classical period, up until recently with the likes of Sayyid al-Khu'i and Imam Khomeini, and you will find that everyone (minus perhaps a few reformist scholars in contemporary times) believed that Sunnis, in reality, are like disbelievers and polytheists, whose actions are not accepted and we only treat them as Muslims apparently in this world. In fact, Shaykh Yusuf al-Bahrani went as far as to say that Sunnis are Najis even apparently. This was a basic theological premise that scholars of a religion had regarding others (including Sunni scholars towards us). This theological premise then, of course, begins to show in your jurisprudence when it is allowed to backbite the Sunnis because they are not considered our brothers and believers - mu'min (many jurists believe this ruling to be from the necessities of our Fiqh - the only major jurist who was against it, as far as I know, was Muqaddis Ardebelli and he was pretty much a Sayyid Kamal al-Haydari of his time and jurists like Sahib al-Jawahir critiqued Ardebelli very harshly), it tells you to not physically defend them in a jihad if they are being attacked (because it will result in you in aiding misguidance), it allows you to accuse them falsely and condemn or curse them (!), and as a matter of fact it leaves no room for you to discuss "unity" with them.

 

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On 8/7/2020 at 8:02 AM, Northwest said:

@Abu Hadi

Is it also possible that the Akhbari minority turns out to be in the right, given that hadith indicate almost all Shia end up in Hell, to not mention all the non-Shia?

Which hadith are you referring to ? 

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