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In the Name of God بسم الله

Strong memory

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  • Advanced Member
12 hours ago, Diaz said:

I wish I had a strong memories. XD

But it is a double edged sword. I don't easily forget. I remember how relationship and friendship were built and broken, the word said and action done. I hold grudges for a very long time. Forgetting and forgiving is a hell out of task. The memories can play over and over again everything comes again including the emotions.

I would like to find a way to minimised this ability.

Edited by Shahrukh K
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19 minutes ago, Shahrukh K said:

The memories can play over and over again everything comes again including the emotions.

This isn't an issue of having a strong memory. It's an issue of not knowing how to deal with negative memories. It's a problem of psychological rumination. 

If it impedes your progress or causes noticeable problems in your life, you should see a psychologist as it is a legitimate psychological condition.

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1 hour ago, Shahrukh K said:

But it is a double edged sword. I don't easily forget. I remember how relationship and friendship were built and broken, the word said and action done. I hold grudges for a very long time. Forgetting and forgiving is a hell out of task. The memories can play over and over again everything comes again including the emotions.

I would like to find a way to minimised this ability.

Maybe this is pertinent.  

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6 hours ago, Shahrukh K said:

I hold grudges for a very long time. Forgetting and forgiving is a hell out of task. The memories can play over and over again everything comes again including the emotions.

I would like to find a way to minimised this ability.

The way to not suffer from such memories and emotions is by first of all NOT wanting to not suffer.  Acknowledge and accept suffering as and when it comes and don’t attempt to run away from it, but rather take interest in it, notice it.

Simply observe each emotion, thought or sensation arising and subsiding.  You will notice that the observation of them is not something you have to do, nor is it something that happens.  This is because observation is ALWAYS ALREADY THERE & PRESENT at the background of each arising thought, emotion and/ or sensation.  

As you observe and notice each arising you will notice yourself being less involved in them.  You will notice that less energy is required from them.  You will feel a distance or a gap between you as observation and that which is observed (I.e. the arisings).  it is like the difference between being so much involved in a movie (such that you forget that it is only a movie) versus observing the movie as a movie!  In just the same way, we should see the arisings as mere arisings that come and go.  So, don’t try to get rid of any arising, but rather let the arisings be.  Don’t WANT them, and don’t HATE them.  Just Observe them by welcoming them.  The moment you see the arisings for what they are, you will cease being so gripped by them.  The grip the once had will become more and more relaxed until finally you will be free.
 

 


 

Edited by eThErEaL
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10 hours ago, Shahrukh K said:
4 hours ago, eThErEaL said:

The way to not suffer from such memories and emotions is by first of all NOT wanting to not suffer.  Acknowledge and accept suffering as and when it comes and don’t attempt to run away from it, but rather take interest in it, notice it.

 

One way we run away from the memory is by attempting to resolve it.  We sometimes attempt to resolve it by negotiating with it.  Let us say I am going through a break up and I feel devastated.  Past memories keep on arising and they cause all kinds of painful emotions and heart aching sensations.  "I should have done this and done that, If only I said it like this, If only...".  And obviously this doesn't help except by putting me in more misery.  There is an attempt to still have control of the situation when in fact it is not in my hands.  And so I live in the past and the future through worries and wishes.    

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