Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
liila

Advice for a White Muslim

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

Welcome to the site fellow human and sister in faith! 

I think you've come to a good place as there are several members who are reverts and can be of good assistance for your journey. 

In the meantime, and if you're interested, I can suggest books that can introduce you to Islam, the last Messenger Mohammed saw and his Household -Ahlul Bayt.? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gain knowledge of the Qur'an and Sunnah and teachings of the Ahlul Bayt,  Reasearch, don't accept unsourced opions or personal ones,Read 
about Islamic history and history of 14 Infallibles(عليه السلام),And follow the moral code(sharia), that's pretty much my advice, welcome to the deen sister!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/20/2020 at 4:41 PM, liila said:

Hi there,

Today I am writing this blog for advice and help on how I, a 20-year old white girl, can become a 'better' Muslim.

I was raised in a white family; none of whom believe in God. Whilst they are usually very understanding, due to the way that media is here, my immediate family are somewhat scared and intimidated by Islam. But I don't want to argue with them, or confront them. I really wish to educate them and let them watch through my own evolution that Islam is not something to fear. I have nobody around me that is Muslim, and I am not really sure where I can find information to educate myself that isn't biased (not to be rude, just a general thought based on my experience with the internet). I am very new to Islam, so I would like to learn as much as possible before I then try to educate those around me.

What can I do, and what would you recommend for me to do that would enable to me to learn more about Islam and how to include it into my every day life?

Thank you for your time, I really appreciate any feedback you can give me. This is something very close to my heart.

Etan kohlberg 

Michael lecker 

MJ kister

Fred Donner 

Wilfred madelung

Khalid   yahya Blankenship 

Writers who are relatively unbiased

Join academia.edu

Many of their papers are free

Stay away from televangelists either Shia or Sunni

And btw there are many white Muslims you can find here and other social media sites network with them 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you don't mind sharing, where are you located? Online learning is great, but we humans also need social interaction. If a Muslim community exists near you, it would be nice for you to become part of it. 

As for your family, hopefully they will come around. It's been more than fifteen years since I converted, and now my family makes a special halal lasagna for me and my husband and children at holiday dinners, but before my mom used to threaten to sneak pork into things that she fed to my children. Maybe they'll never be delighted about your faith, but if they see you happy and doing well, they will see that it is good for you. 

If you still live in your parents' home and fear that they will throw you out for being Muslim, you aren't required to tell them. It makes fasting and prayer complicated, but might make other areas of your life much easier. 

Edited by notme

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, notme said:

If you don't mind sharing, where are you located? Online learning is great, but we humans also need social interaction. If a Muslim community exists near you, it would be nice for you to become part of it. 

As for your family, hopefully they will come around. It's been more than fifteen years since I converted, and now my family makes a special halal lasagna for me and my husband and children at holiday dinners, but before my mom used to threaten to sneak pork into things that she fed to my children. Maybe they'll never be delighted about your faith, but if they see you happy and doing well, they will see that it is good for you. 

If you still live in your parents' home and fear that they will throw you out for being Muslim, you aren't required to tell them. It makes fasting and prayer complicated, but might make other areas of your life much easier. 

I am located in England, and I know there are a lot of communities here I am just not sure how to go about finding/joining them. I will try to find somewhere local though!

And yes, hopefully they come around and I have every hope that they will eventually. It's nice to hear your story also, and it reassures me a lot - I am really happy how it turned out for you. And yes, I agree, my mother only cares about my happiness - so I want to introduce it to her gently. I just want to be the best Muslim I can be although I am limited to what I can do. For now I do live with my parents so it will be difficult, but I will soon be moving out...so it won't be like this forever. 

Thank you so much for your words, it really means a lot to me!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Long time convert here and May Allah bless you for believing in Him and His Prophet (صل الله عليه و اله وسلم),

Don’t do anything except read Qur’an, perfect your salaah, do lots of dhikr (remembrance of the Almighty, through words and praise to Him) & stay away from haraam, as much as you can at the moment. Do not learn too much, it is very confusing when you are genuinely looking for truth, most people telling you what they are convinced is the truth are trying to convince you to join their group, so don’t pay heed to it for the meantime. Perfect the basics, Our Prophet and Master Muhammad ibn Abdullah (صل الله عليه و اله وسلم) did not receive revelation all at once. It was gradually introduced to the Muslims over a long period.

The situation with your family is very difficult as I do not know them, do not begin conversations about Islam, if you believe in what Allah has gifted us with in His book and Prophet there will be lifestyle differences, things you will not do anymore and things you are doing that you didn’t used to, they will ask questions and THAT is your chance for dawah. I did many things wrong with relation to my family, I converted at 18 and was full of enthusiasm which did result in confrontation and coldness, due to my fear of my parents going to hell. They still don’t believe in Allah and His Messenger, Muhammad (صل الله عليه و اله وسلم) and I can only make dua for them. 
If you have questions regarding specific situations that will arise or anything that my answer hasn’t addressed (which is a heck of a lot), I will be more than happy to help you, I’m sure you’re ecstatic to be one of the lucky ones and also, as it was for me, very painful and confusing to navigate through this when the ones you love most around you haven’t realised the truth from their Lord yet either.

BarakAllah feeki and I am so happy you have accepted the word of Our Lord. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, notme said:

Oh, also, do not trust Muslim men who offer to teach you about Islam, but need you to agree to "mutah" first. Odds are they are playing and trying to use you. Even if your parents are non-Muslim, any suitor for temporary or permanent marriage will need to ask your father or guardian for permission before marrying you temporarily or permanently if you are not previously divorced. 

This is also a huge thing. There will be people trying to manipulate you all the way and whilst it is all very new for you and you haven’t settled into your new identity be VERY wary of such people trying to take ownership of your practicing and relationship with the Almighty.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Fleabreezy said:

Long time convert here and May Allah bless you for believing in Him and His Prophet (صل الله عليه و اله وسلم),

Don’t do anything except read Qur’an, perfect your salaah, do lots of dhikr (remembrance of the Almighty, through words and praise to Him) & stay away from haraam, as much as you can at the moment. Do not learn too much, it is very confusing when you are genuinely looking for truth, most people telling you what they are convinced is the truth are trying to convince you to join their group, so don’t pay heed to it for the meantime. Perfect the basics, Our Prophet and Master Muhammad ibn Abdullah (صل الله عليه و اله وسلم) did not receive revelation all at once. It was gradually introduced to the Muslims over a long period.

The situation with your family is very difficult as I do not know them, do not begin conversations about Islam, if you believe in what Allah has gifted us with in His book and Prophet there will be lifestyle differences, things you will not do anymore and things you are doing that you didn’t used to, they will ask questions and THAT is your chance for dawah. I did many things wrong with relation to my family, I converted at 18 and was full of enthusiasm which did result in confrontation and coldness, due to my fear of my parents going to hell. They still don’t believe in Allah and His Messenger, Muhammad (صل الله عليه و اله وسلم) and I can only make dua for them. 

If you have questions regarding specific situations that will arise or anything that my answer hasn’t addressed (which is a heck of a lot), I will be more than happy to help you, I’m sure you’re ecstatic to be one of the lucky ones and also, as it was for me, very painful and confusing to navigate through this when the ones you love most around you haven’t realised the truth from their Lord yet either.

BarakAllah feeki and I am so happy you have accepted the word of Our Lord. 

Thank you so much, I really appreciate this and you can not imagine how happy and welcome I feel sharing this and receiving such warm advice. 

I will definitely start to learn the basics and try and perfect this, and like you said slowly over time introduce myself to more. And I'm very sorry to hear about the tough time you had when you converted. I also share the same fears as you once did, which is why I want to be so careful now. My mother is a very clever woman, and very sweet. I know that she will accept eventually, I just have to be gentle with her - and maybe when she can see my own progression, she will ask questions and show an interest in Islam, inshallah. it took me 20 years to accept our lord, and perhaps he has written that my mother shall take longer to learn ❤️

Once again thank you so much. You have helped a lot, and if I come across anything I am unsure about I will be so happy to come to you - I feel such warmth and excitement about this all. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, liila said:

I will definitely start to learn the basics and try and perfect this, and like you said slowly over time introduce myself to more. And I'm very sorry to hear about the tough time you had when you converted. I also share the same fears as you once did, which is why I want to be so careful now. My mother is a very clever woman, and very sweet. I know that she will accept eventually, I just have to be gentle with her - and maybe when she can see my own progression, she will ask questions and show an interest in Islam, inshallah. it took me 20 years to accept our lord, and perhaps he has written that my mother shall take longer to learn ❤️

Once again thank you so much. You have helped a lot, and if I come across anything I am unsure about I will be so happy to come to you - I feel such warmth and excitement about this all. 

One other thing I would definitely add,

Any idea you have of the “ummah” get rid of it quickly. Many Muslims (aside from the fact they believe in Allah and the day of judgement) are just as lost as non-Muslims and treat Islam tribally, as an identity, rather than take heed of the fact what Allah has given us, in his Prophet (صل الله عليه و اله و سلم), and in His obedience is what will save us when everybody except Muhammad ibn Abdullah (صل الله عليه و اله و سلم) will be screaming for themselves on the Day of Judgement. Do not assume people who give themselves the identity of Muslim are good people or will guide you.

Try to learn to read Arabic and try and learn words if you can. This is another big one and will help you learn the book. If it is something you are going to do learn grammar of Arabic, then the words. Learning about sects is futile, most people trying to convince you are only regurgitating what they heard somebody who knows a bit more than them say, follow what you believe to be the truth.

Do not get involved in politics as an extension of your religion other than what you see in front of you. The internal condition of people is more important than their political allegiance and just because somebody wears a turban or has Sheikh in front of their name, they can still be a piece of work. Treat people as you find them

Those fears about family do not go away, they often get worse but Allah guides who He wills. With regards to this I would read (or youtube) the story of Mus’ab ibn Umair. SubhanAllah. He was a companion of the Our Master Muhammad (صل الله عليه و اله و سلم) and was killed as the flag bearer in the battle of Uhud. He converted to Islam like you and I and his story could give you a lot of inspiration (it did me).

May Allah keep imaan in your heart and grant you what is best in this life and the hereafter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

one thing that you must do is have a good akhlaq. Having a good akhlaq is really important and it is said that the Prophet would always smile whenever he did something. Even when he was running in war he would smile. The Prophets aklhaq is what made him stand out from the other Prophets.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And regardless of how much your family disapproves of your choice of religion they MOST likely will still love you and have your best interest at heart.So please do not fall for any Muslim who tries to distance you from your family for the sake of faith.Chances are they are trying to trap you or use you for their ulterior motives after alienating you from your support system.

Edited by Panzerwaffe

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/21/2020 at 7:43 AM, notme said:

Oh, also, do not trust Muslim men who offer to teach you about Islam, but need you to agree to "mutah" first. Odds are they are playing and trying to use you. Even if your parents are non-Muslim, any suitor for temporary or permanent marriage will need to ask your father or guardian for permission before marrying you temporarily or permanently if you are not previously divorced. 

Maybe it's not popular here but my advice to her is stay AWAY FROM MUTAH completely atleast for a good 5 yrs whether you get your guardian permission or not ,she is only 20 and entering a new faith.A lot to learn and experience and The potential for exploitation is just too great.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As salaamun akeikum,

Thanks for the tag @AStruggler :)

I don’t have time to reply at the moment so im going to come back here when its more suitable.

@liila WELCOME TO Islam SISTER!!!:cuddle:

I so look forward to seeing you on this site and all of us helping you with whatever it is you need help with!

I'm hoping I will be able to help you with areas that I myself found frustrating or difficult in the beginning as I've been a convert for 10 years now.

I am in California, United States, and as my screen name suggests, I am a farm girl. Anyway, I look forward to touching base with you in this thread and also looking forward to you achieving your needed number of posts so that way people are able to send you private messages if necessary.

(Sometimes we don't want all our stuff out there on the internet available to the public, especially us sisters, and thats ok...)

Anyhow, looking forward to the new friendship:)

W/s

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...