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KarbalaWarrior

Shia female perspective on Mutah & Nikah (permanent marriage)

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1 minute ago, KarbalaWarrior said:

sorry sister, did not mean to offend, or cause fitnah, I just wanted the opinions of sisters.

My reaction was a bit too strong maybe but why would any woman come out and say she is more interested in temporary Nikkah than permanent? 

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22 minutes ago, KarbalaWarrior said:

Do Shia sisters prefer Mutah or Permanent marriage?

I wonder, what about your own family? How things were / are in this preference?

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In general, women are more emotional than men and want a relationship of mutual love & care, and to raise a family with their husband (not just a relationship of engaging in sexual acts like many men want), of course there are exceptions but this seems to be the case most of the time. 
 

In mut’ah, it is frowned upon to have kids in the temporary marriage, mut’ah is mainly just for fulfilling sexual desires on either side (there can definitely be exceptions though), likely would tarnish the woman’s reputation in the society, and doesn’t include the whole love & family part. 

Therefore most women would definitely prefer the permanent marriage option, which features safeguarding her reputation and having children among many other blessings that Allāh has blessed us with the sacred contract of [permanent] marriage. 

On a side note, mut’ah is extremely impractical in our day and age, almost never happens, and you’d be lucky to even find someone who’s done it. So I doubt you can get any answers based on experience. 
 

Note - All these benefits of permanent marriage definitely apply to men too of course, but OP wanted us to answer regarding women only. 

Edited by Husayni

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21 minutes ago, hasanhh said:

Decoded:  lf you men don't think the way women want you to, then . . .

^^^ I'm so happy we men on ShiaChat have you with us to decipher womanspeak and warn us about their real intentions. You see through them like radar sees through clouds and smoke!~

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5 minutes ago, The Green Knight said:

^^^ I'm so happy we men on ShiaChat have you with us to decipher womanspeak and warn us about their real intentions. You see through them like radar sees through clouds and smoke!~

lt's easier to understand after you've been throught the wringer.

All women are on the same war front. Have the same objective. The only thing they discuss are T&T ---and go along with the same.

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3 hours ago, Husayni said:

Mut’ah is extremely impractical in our day and age, almost never happens, and you’d be lucky to even find someone who’s done it. So I doubt you can get any answers based on experience. 

I think any new topics on mutah should only be allowed to open after this statement is read and acknowledged by the member. 

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I found this particular topic a bit scary. Here is a guy who is addressing all women if they would prefer to have mutah instead of nikah, pretending he does not really know. Moreover he could have asked a woman of his choice with whom he would like to have a relationship if she was up for a mutah or a nikah. Even better he might have just asked his dad! That would have solved much of his problem. So either he knows no women / not feels up to ask one, OR he wants a perpetual mutah encompassing a whole lot of women.

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On 1/12/2020 at 4:09 PM, The Green Knight said:

I found this particular topic a bit scary. Here is a guy who is addressing all women if they would prefer to have mutah instead of nikah, pretending he does not really know. Moreover he could have asked a woman of his choice with whom he would like to have a relationship if she was up for a mutah or a nikah. Even better he might have just asked his dad! That would have solved much of his problem. So either he knows no women / not feels up to ask one, OR he wants a perpetual mutah encompassing a whole lot of women.

ln other words . . . an id-ee-ot.

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Let me just add something that's worth pondering upon.

In our authentic narrations, in addition to the fact that Muta'a is a Sunna and Mustahab, it's mentioned that if a man has a choice to contract Muta'a between women, it's best to choose the one that's more pious. In other words, it's better to choose a Muslim woman over a non-Muslim woman. It's better to choose a Mu'min woman over a Muslim woman.

If Muta'a was shameful, or embarrassing, or the cause of harm, our Imams (عليه السلام) wouldn't encourage men to contract Muta'a with the more pious women, since the more pious woman has a higher status with God. 

 

Our negative reactions to Muta'a always go back to the fact that we view, and have been viewing, Muta'a, and sex in general, from a non-Shiite and non-Muslim perspectives. 

Edited by SoRoUsH

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18 minutes ago, SoRoUsH said:

from a non-Shiite

Isn't it true that all Shi'ite sects agree that Mut'ah is haram except the Ja'fari Shias?

But I am also as surprised as you are from these reactions, I thought Mut'ah was highly recommended?  I do admit I have not studied the Jafari madhhab, but from my understanding, it is recommended to do it at least once in your life, and with a pious woman like you quoted

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Advantages of mutah over nikah for women:

1. Not obligated to obtain husband's permission to go out.

2. Easier to demand end of marriage. 

That's all I can think of, though probably there are more. However, most women want the assurance that comes with permanent marriage. A husband by mutah is not obligated to provide for his wife unless it has been specified in the contract, and if he dies she does not automatically inherit from him. 

In either marriage, the children are legitimate and the father is obligated to provide for them until they are adult. A Christian or Jewish woman can only marry a Muslim man in a mutah contract, though they can designate the time period as "eighty years" or whatever. 

Edited by notme

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On 1/14/2020 at 12:51 PM, SoRoUsH said:

Let me just add something that's worth pondering upon.

In our authentic narrations, in addition to the fact that Muta'a is a Sunna and Mustahab, it's mentioned that if a man has a choice to contract Muta'a between women, it's best to choose the one that's more pious. In other words, it's better to choose a Muslim woman over a non-Muslim woman. It's better to choose a Mu'min woman over a Muslim woman.

If Muta'a was shameful, or embarrassing, or the cause of harm, our Imams (عليه السلام) wouldn't encourage men to contract Muta'a with the more pious women, since the more pious woman has a higher status with God. 

 

Our negative reactions to Muta'a always go back to the fact that we view, and have been viewing, Muta'a, and sex in general, from a non-Shiite and non-Muslim perspectives. 

Salaam @SoRoUsH,

I've noticed you promote mut'ah on this site multiple times now, and I've noticed brother @Mahdavist usually liking these comments of yours too.

Based on my knowledge, due to the times, at one point the Imams (a) did make mut'ah mustahab (to opppose the Sunni views). However, if I'm not wrong, when things changed later, the Imams (a) reacted in resistance to mut'ah when a few of his companions expressed interest in mut'ah...

Is it not just a neutral/ja'iz act right now, not mustahab or makruh...?

What do you have to say to this lecture of Sayyid Muahmmad Rizvi then, watch it on x2 speed if you don't have much time...? He expresses that the mustahabat of mut'ah was temporary, during the time of the 5th-6th Imam (a), but then later in the ahadith of the 7th-8th Imams (a) mut'ah was de-emphasized...

 

Edited by AStruggler

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1 hour ago, AStruggler said:

However, if I'm not wrong, when things changed later, the Imams (a) reacted in resistance to mut'ah when a few of his companions expressed interest in mut'ah...

Although there are some weak narrations on this issue, there are no authentic narrations supporting this position. There's only one acceptable narration, where the Imam (عليه السلام) is asking a well-off supporter, why he would need to Muta'a. However, the text of the narration is vague enough that it could be interpreted in various ways, as it has been. It does not in any way point to the undesirability of Muta'a, at all.

And the numerous narration in support of Muta'a can easily be used to counter any anti-Muta'a position.

Unfortunately, I don't have the time to watch the lecture. However, here's a good opportunity for you to examine this issue yourself. You could bring forward any narration that this speaker uses to defend his "de-emphasizing" argument, and you can check the isnad of the narrations yourself. Then you can compare the strength of their isnad with the isnad of "pro-Muta'a" narrations.

 

Edited by SoRoUsH

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On 1/12/2020 at 5:21 PM, KarbalaWarrior said:

Do Shia sisters prefer Mutah or Permanent marriage?

Didn't you have a post earlier about why women hate you ?

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1 hour ago, AStruggler said:

Based on my knowledge, due to the times, at one point the Imams (a) did make mut'ah mustahab (to opppose the Sunni views).

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Do you sincerely believe that is possible?  For the record, all Muslims groups, Sunni or Shia, agree that Mut'ah is haraam except for the Ja'faris.

Edited by Cyrax

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1 hour ago, AStruggler said:

Salaam @SoRoUsH,

I've noticed you promote mut'ah on this site multiple times now, and I've noticed brother @Mahdavist usually liking these comments of yours too.

Based on my knowledge, due to the times, at one point the Imams (a) did make mut'ah mustahab (to opppose the Sunni views). However, if I'm not wrong, when things changed later, the Imams (a) reacted in resistance to mut'ah when a few of his companions expressed interest in mut'ah...

Is it not just a neutral/ja'iz act right now, not mustahab or makruh...?

What do you have to say to this lecture of Sayyid Muahmmad Rizvi then, watch it on x2 speed if you don't have much time...? He expresses that the mustahabat of mut'ah was temporary, during the time of the 5th-6th Imam (a), but then later in the ahadith of the 7th-8th Imams (a) mut'ah was de-emphasized...

 

Salam alaikum brother

Thanks for sharing the video, I will watch it soon inshaAllah.

I think the key point in this topic and all other topics is to focus on what the Qur'an and hadith have said rather than what is commonly accepted and rejected in society. 

This is why I appreciate the posts of our brother @SoRoUsH , not only on this thread but also on many others alhamdulillah. 

 

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6 minutes ago, Cyrax said:

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Do you sincerely believe that is possible?  For the record, all Muslims groups, Sunni or Shia, agree that Mut'ah is haraam except for the Ja'faris.

Walaikum as salam brother. I think all groups would also agree that it was permissible during the time of the holy Prophet ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)).

 

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40 minutes ago, Mahdavist said:

Walaikum as salam brother. I think all groups would also agree that it was permissible during the time of the holy Prophet ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)).

 

If you mean that it was permissible like how alcohol was permissible, then yes, obviously everyone agrees to that.  If you mean that the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم died and left it halal, then no, all Muslim sects, Sunni or Shia, agree that he صلى الله عليه وسلم banned it before his dead, except the Ja'faris.

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48 minutes ago, Cyrax said:

If you mean that it was permissible like how alcohol was permissible, then yes, obviously everyone agrees to that.  If you mean that the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم died and left it halal, then no, all Muslim sects, Sunni or Shia, agree that he صلى الله عليه وسلم banned it before his dead, except the Ja'faris.

Yes because they believe what the Sahaba says. If the messenger ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)) banned it then why some people practiced it until the time of Umar?

please do not compare Mutah with alcohol, if you have some spare time reading this topic below 

 

https://www.al-Islam.org/shiite-encyclopedia/temporary-marriage-Islam-part-5#mut’-versus-alcohol

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3 hours ago, SoRoUsH said:

And the numerous narration in support of Muta'a can easily be used to counter any anti-Muta'a position.

Hmm, I see.

Do you recall that some of these numerous narrations in support of mut'ah were from the later Imams (a)? Like the 7th or 8th Imams (a)?  Because if so, that would certainly be interesting as it would contradict the argument of the well known Sayyid in the video I sent.

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3 hours ago, Cyrax said:

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Do you sincerely believe that is possible?  For the record, all Muslims groups, Sunni or Shia, agree that Mut'ah is haraam except for the Ja'faris.

Yes. If certain individuals of that time who managed to gain popularity, were misguiding the Muslim society by altering the laws which were legislated by the Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) (and presented by the Prophet (s)), then it makes sense.

And lol, don't compare mut'ah to alcohol. Mut'ah was a special ruling that came with Islam. Alcohol drinking was a habit that the people naturally indulged in from before.

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27 minutes ago, AStruggler said:

Hmm, I see.

Do you recall that some of these numerous narrations in support of mut'ah were from the later Imams (a)? Like the 7th or 8th Imams (a)?  Because if so, that would certainly be interesting as it would contradict the argument of the well known Sayyid in the video I sent.

Yes. There are certainly some from Imam Ridha (عليه السلام). 

Plus, we need to be very careful to not arbitrarily abrogate teachings of our Imams (عليه السلام). We can't claim that later narrations abrogate earlier narrations. We have no reason or justification for this. 

 

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