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In the Name of God بسم الله
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AkhiraisReal

Marriage related issues

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Really sad the amount of marriage related issues in shiachat. Why can't the couples themselves talk about it and solve it.

It's sad what we have become. That we have to share our story to random unknown people on the net and ask them for advice.

If you can't talk to your partner about your issues and have to reach out to other people, then something's wrong.

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@AkhiraisReal You don't say! lol

One of the blessings of the internet and forums like ShiaChat is that people can turn to others for advice without putting themselves in an awkward position and without being judged. It's also good to get advice from someone impartial which often times can't be friends or family. 

I think it's a very good thing when people can vent, express and seek help here as it means they're not burying their heads in the sand about such serious problems and want to solve them. 

Edited by Moalfas

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51 minutes ago, confusedandannoyed said:

Not everyone in the world has the fairytale marriage where both partners have the level of maturity and conflict resolution skills to be able to discuss their conflicts open-heartedly. It is actually quite rare for people to be able to willingly talk about their conflicts in an effort to resolve them. Clearly this woman needs some sort of avenue to release her frustration, and if she chooses this avenue, I'm not sure why it bothers you to this extent. I would suggest you to ignore such topics from here on out. People come to this forum seeking all sorts of advice and answers, let's try to be more open-minded and welcoming. 

brother/sister, I wasn't talking about someone particularly. It was a general statement.

Yes you are correct, sometimes couples can't talk their issues to each other because of some particular issue, which is sad.

It's sad because husband and wife are supposed to be each others back and trust each other and be able to talk about whatever they have to talk about.

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You never know the individual circumstances  of people. It's very possible that one may be married to an insensitive person who isn't very understanding. I wouldn't blame sisters for opening up to random people online, beacause let's be honest, some men take their wives for granted and aren't emotionally available. It is sad when randoms online are more understanding than your own spouses

 

Edited by ali_fatheroforphans

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7 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

You never know the individual circumstances  of people. It's very possible that one may be married to an insensitive person who isn't very understanding. I wouldn't blame sisters for opening up to random people online, beacause let's be honest, some men take their wives for granted and aren't emotionally available. It is sad when randoms online are more understanding than your own spouses

 

True brother.

But lets take another issue into it. When sisters are opening themselves to random people online, it leaves them vulnerable. Some random men might take advantage of a broken relationship if you know what I mean.

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Just now, AkhiraisReal said:

True brother.

But lets take another issue into it. When sisters are opening themselves to random people online, it leaves them vulnerable. Some random men might take advantage of a broken relationship if you know what I mean.

I don't see how that's an issue on a public forum.

It's an issue if random men start sliding into a sisters dm's.

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49 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

True brother.

But lets take another issue into it. When sisters are opening themselves to random people online, it leaves them vulnerable. Some random men might take advantage of a broken relationship if you know what I mean.

In that case we should advise men not to take advantage of the vulnerable situation of these women, rather than telling women, who have no intention of using their family issues to look for new suitors, not to seek advice on this forum.

 

1 hour ago, AkhiraisReal said:

brother/sister, I wasn't talking about someone particularly. It was a general statement.

Yes you are correct, sometimes couples can't talk their issues to each other because of some particular issue, which is sad.

It's sad because husband and wife are supposed to be each others back and trust each other and be able to talk about whatever they have to talk about.

I understand, my apologies. I assumed you were talking specifically about the sister who posted about her husband's deteriorating mental wellbeing. Asides from this though, you are right in that husband and wife must have each other's backs and trust each other, but unfortunately some spouses (women included) do not have the requisite conflict resolution skills to be able to work things out between themselves. 

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Guest Earth!Monad
3 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

Really sad the amount of marriage related issues in shiachat

ShiaChat is not the entirety of the Shia world. it is around 0.001%. You should be glad folk come here to seek advice instead of getting all emotional because you have been taught to become a cryer instead of a problem solver. The world is full of problems, learn to recognize that problems arise and we all will be required to solve them rationally. Human first, then whatever ideology one follows. Its not Shia first then human second. Realise it.

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11 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

Why can't the couples themselves talk about it and solve it.

Okay, what's wrong with ME ?

l didn't say you had something wrong with you!

Well, there must be something you don't like about me?  [l believe she answered her own question.]

No there is not.

Then what is it you want solved?

l just said l wanted something changed.

Then there is something 'wrong' or you wouldn't want a change.

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