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Guest M.H

How do I tell my family I am a Shia convert?

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Guest M.H

Salam!

After being with my Shia friends, as well as researching both Sunni and Shia doctrines, I've converted into a Shia Muslim ( I was a Sunni before). It's been three weeks as of today, and its been difficult since I live with my Sunni family. The thing is, I haven't told my family yet. They don't depsie Shias, they are just very pro-Sunni. I know that if I do, I will be disowned and I will get kicked out of my house. What should I do? I know I have to tell them soon, and the truth will come out, because it'll create a lot of problems in the future. There were times were I almost got caught/questioned, and I got to see their reaction to it. Please, any advice would be help.

Jazakallah Khair. 

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Are you a financially independent adult, or are you a child? If you are still under your parents' custody and you fear being kicked out of the home, you should not tell them. You don't have to, regardless. 

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Guest M.H
7 minutes ago, notme said:

Are you a financially independent adult, or are you a child? If you are still under your parents' custody and you fear being kicked out of the home, you should not tell them. You don't have to, regardless. 

I just turned 19, and I have a job, but I'm a full time student. So in a way, I'm not a independent adult. Do you think so? because in a way I feel like I am lying to them, and I hate that feeling. 

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5 minutes ago, Guest M.H said:

I just turned 19, and I have a job, but I'm a full time student. So in a way, I'm not a independent adult. Do you think so? because in a way I feel like I am lying to them, and I hate that feeling. 

You are adult, but not financially independent. Like I said, you don't have to tell them. It's your call. 

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On 12/6/2019 at 8:32 PM, Guest M.H said:

I just turned 19, and I have a job, but I'm a full time student. So in a way, I'm not a independent adult. Do you think so? because in a way I feel like I am lying to them, and I hate that feeling. 

This is just delaying the exposing of your belief as Shia to protect yourself from possible harm. There are many examples in Qur'an and hadith for such to keep the belief hidden for some time in order to protect oneself.

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20 hours ago, Guest M.H said:

Salam!

After being with my Shia friends, as well as researching both Sunni and Shia doctrines, I've converted into a Shia Muslim ( I was a Sunni before). It's been three weeks as of today, and its been difficult since I live with my Sunni family. The thing is, I haven't told my family yet. They don't depsie Shias, they are just very pro-Sunni. I know that if I do, I will be disowned and I will get kicked out of my house. What should I do? I know I have to tell them soon, and the truth will come out, because it'll create a lot of problems in the future. There were times were I almost got caught/questioned, and I got to see their reaction to it. Please, any advice would be help.

Jazakallah Khair. 

wa salam

congratulations may Allah give you hidayah. 

Please do not tell them. I understand that you hate the thought of lying but know that it is not something that's against Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). If you need to protect yourself, then I guess theres nothing wrong with that. Keep it a secret and just let everything else fall into God's hands, your parents will find out one day when the time is right.

fee amanillah

 

Edited by 3wliya_maryam

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Salam Alaykum and congratulations!

It's difficult to answer this because im sure no one wants to be the one to blame here.

You could either;

A: Rise up against the ''oppression'' and stand firm with your beliefs. Don't show fear and be a lion. You can't force them to accept you, but don't let them force you to believe something you don’t. 

B: Stay quiet and practice Taqqiyah as many brothers and sisters in the past have done. Don't ever believe this is a cowards way as you are an amazing individual to have come to your own conclusions instead of being born into it. Unfortunately your family doesn't accept it and sometimes that's just how life is.

I kind of understand how you feel as my family is 50/50 Shia and Sunni and often we have discussions. I wish you the best of luck and I know how frustrating it is. Know you are not alone as you have brothers and sisters on this site if you ever need to talk.

JazakAllah Khayr brother!

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Guest M.H
7 hours ago, Muslim2010 said:

This is just delaying the exposing of your belief as Shia to protect yourself from possible harm. There are many examples in Qur'an and hadith for such to keep the belief hidden for some time in order to protect oneself.

Can you provide some examples to me? Jazakallah Khair!

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Guest M.H
7 hours ago, Sirius_Bright said:

Alaikas Salaam brother, 

Welcome. You can practice Taqaiyah till you're financially independent. Occasionally raise some points or put some questions in their mind. In this way, you'd mentally prepare them for the day when you let them know about your conversion. Your family might also come on the right path. 

و الله اعلم

Walikum asalam!

Haha I'm a girl btw, but jazakallah! I've actually never heard of taqaiyah, can you please explain it?  I've been mentioning in the most subtle way possible, but the reactions I get make me want to not talk about it

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Guest M.H
6 minutes ago, Mohannad_Haydar_Matar said:

Salam Alaykum and congratulations!

It's difficult to answer this because im sure no one wants to be the one to blame here.

You could either;

A: Rise up against the ''oppression'' and stand firm with your beliefs. Don't show fear and be a lion. You can't force them to accept you, but don't let them force you to believe something you don’t. 

B: Stay quiet and practice Taqqiyah as many brothers and sisters in the past have done. Don't ever believe this is a cowards way as you are an amazing individual to have come to your own conclusions instead of being born into it. Unfortunately your family doesn't accept it and sometimes that's just how life is.

I kind of understand how you feel as my family is 50/50 Shia and Sunni and often we have discussions. I wish you the best of luck and I know how frustrating it is. Know you are not alone as you have brothers and sisters on this site if you ever need to talk.

JazakAllah Khayr brother!

Walikum asalaam and thank you!

I'm a girl btw haha, but yeah I think option 2 sounds best, but I've never heard of taqqiyah. Also, it is difficult, and even more so since I'm a girl. Marrige is a big topic these days for me and its going to get difficult after that. I appreciate the welcoming, please pray for me (: 

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Guest M.H
9 minutes ago, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

Don’t. I have a friend who was living with his family and when they found out they harassed him so much till he switched back. There is no benefit in telling anyone what you are. 

): May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) give them hidayat. I don't know, its harder since im a girl and marrige is right around the corner ( brown culture). But you're right, I guess if I keep it to myself, it'll be better

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27 minutes ago, Guest M.H said:

Walikum asalaam and thank you!

I'm a girl btw haha, but yeah I think option 2 sounds best, but I've never heard of taqqiyah. Also, it is difficult, and even more so since I'm a girl. Marrige is a big topic these days for me and its going to get difficult after that. I appreciate the welcoming, please pray for me (: 

Hahah my bad!

Taqiyyah, basically , is to hide your true beliefs due to danger and or other reasons that would cause you harm.

Surah An-Nahal, verse 106

“Anyone who after accepting faith in Allah utters unbelief except under compulsion his heart remaining firm in faith but such as open their breast to unbelief on them is Wrath from Allah and theirs will be a dreadful Penalty”

Qur'an mentions a believer during the reign of Firown who had to perform Taqiyyah.

A believer, a man from among the people of Pharaoh, who had concealed his faith, said: “Will ye slay a man because he says, ‘My Lord is Allah’?- when he has indeed come to you with Clear (Signs) from your Lord? and if he be a liar, on him is (the sin of) his lie: but, if he is telling the Truth, then will fall on you something of the (calamity) of which he warns you: Truly Allah guides not one who transgresses and lies!

 

I understand that it's even more difficult since you're a girl, all we can do is pray for you.

Peace be upon you sister! Once again, sorry! 

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Guest M.H
5 minutes ago, Mohannad_Haydar_Matar said:

Hahah my bad!

Taqiyyah, basically , is to hide your true beliefs due to danger and or other reasons that would cause you harm.

Surah An-Nahal, verse 106

“Anyone who after accepting faith in Allah utters unbelief except under compulsion his heart remaining firm in faith but such as open their breast to unbelief on them is Wrath from Allah and theirs will be a dreadful Penalty”

Qur'an mentions a believer during the reign of Firown who had to perform Taqiyyah.

A believer, a man from among the people of Pharaoh, who had concealed his faith, said: “Will ye slay a man because he says, ‘My Lord is Allah’?- when he has indeed come to you with Clear (Signs) from your Lord? and if he be a liar, on him is (the sin of) his lie: but, if he is telling the Truth, then will fall on you something of the (calamity) of which he warns you: Truly Allah guides not one who transgresses and lies!

 

I understand that it's even more difficult since you're a girl, all we can do is pray for you.

Peace be upon you sister! Once again, sorry! 

Jazakallah khair for the reference! No need to apologize, its a difficult topic to provide help on. Even the smallest advice (like this!) Helps alot! Jazkallah again!

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Perhaps any of the member sisters can offer one on one/private support or even locally or regionally? 

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Guest M.H
43 minutes ago, Moalfas said:

Perhaps any of the member sisters can offer one on one/private support or even locally or regionally? 

Quote

 

I hope so, InShaAllah

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13 hours ago, Guest M.H said:

Walikum asalam!

Haha I'm a girl btw, but jazakallah! I've actually never heard of taqaiyah, can you please explain it?  I've been mentioning in the most subtle way possible, but the reactions I get make me want to not talk about it

Taqaiyah is where you would hide your beliefs if you have danger for your life. Since you are a girl, try marrying a Shia guy when time comes. Everything will be sorted then I. A. 

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Guest M.H
18 hours ago, Propaganda_of_the_Deed said:

Gradually bring up similarities in discussion and esp the importance of Ahlul Bayt, drip feed it over time though so it's not exactly a surprise or all too sudden.

I've been slowly doing that, but they attack with such confidence, that I get scared to debate with them; I will still try to bring it up tho. Thank you (:

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Guest M.H
15 hours ago, Sirius_Bright said:

Taqaiyah is where you would hide your beliefs if you have danger for your life. Since you are a girl, try marrying a Shia guy when time comes. Everything will be sorted then I. A. 

Thank you, I've been trying to find a Shia guy, but apparently family lineage is very important to some families. I.A everything will work out tho, I've left it all up to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). If I found this path with his help, then surely my future with this path will go smoothly. Thanks for your help again, and please keep me in your prayers! 

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11 hours ago, Guest M.H said:

Thank you, I've been trying to find a Shia guy, but apparently family lineage is very important to some families. I.A everything will work out tho, I've left it all up to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). If I found this path with his help, then surely my future with this path will go smoothly. Thanks for your help again, and please keep me in your prayers! 

That's how strong should be one's belief in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). I.A. He will give reward for your struggle. 

Surah Al-Inshirah, Verse 5:

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

Surely with difficulty is ease.

(English - Shakir)

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