Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
AkhiraisReal

Does it annoy you brothers when you see a Muslim sister with improper behaviour or covering

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

I feel real bad when I see a Shia sister posting behijab "Eid Selfies" or kind on social media. Although, I haven't criticized or policed anyone but sometimes I think if this comes under Nahi anil munkar or if we have any obligation. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest window

Of course it does. I want to see every Muslim dress and act modestly. I wouldn't express it though, since women get more furious from telling them to wear something a bit more modest than if you'd insult their dead father. What I'd do is act modestly myself, and if the subject ever comes up, explain why I personally do this without putting any fault or blame on them. All the pros but not the cons. It should inspire them and make them want to be more modest on their own. People hate to be lectured by hypocrites, and they love to be inspired by the successful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, starlight said:

Does it annoy you when you see Muslim  brothers when they are acting like westerners and behaving improperly? 

Good question. It does actually annoy me, specially when they sell themselves to be part of some particular group. Like brothers drinking or smoking thinking it's going to make them look cool.

But somehow the sisters annoy me more and make me more sad. Maybe because they have sold themselves more than the brothers.

3 hours ago, confusedandannoyed said:

As much as the Muslim ummah loves to be the Haram Police

I am pretty sure not many people like haram polices. This is not about haram police. Haram police go to you and say its haram. Making you sad and annoy you is different.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

But somehow the sisters annoy me more and make me more sad. Maybe because they have sold themselves more than the brothers.

For once I am going to agree with you. Women have more shyness and 'haya' in their fitrah and are required to be more modest in public both with their dress and manner than men and so a woman acting inappropriately appears more of a deviation from 'deen e fitrah' than when men do it. Having said this, it's not okay for either to behave inappropriately.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest uready?Monad
5 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

When you brothers see Muslim sisters and they are acting improperly or behaving like westerners or dressing like them. Does it make you sad? does it annoy you?

 men should have their gaze down?. what are you doing checking girls out? :pushup2: -

You see the flaw is in your biological need for a female. Because you cannot attain one, then this repression is procured via finger pointing. if you intend to be a good and moral person, then what should annoy is not just theists, but all human behavior, however the annoyance is due to a lack of need.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, confusedandannoyed said:

No it doesn't make me sad or annoy me because it is none of my business. As much as the Muslim ummah loves to be the Haram Police, I actually have my own personal flaws I should be working on, such as making sure I wake up for Fajr every day. I don't have the time nor the energy to criticize everyone, especially sisters, on how to best go about following their deen. 

As salaamun sleikum,

2 things- I totally love your screen name because this is honestly how I feel most of the time.

And the 2nd thing is, your post says EXACTLY the same thing I feel most of the time- drained by life and not having anything left of my basic life force to do much more than just manage my own life and issues..and I often fall short in doing this. On the average, I typically have such a lack of life force and energy thst im starting to think there may be something medically wrong with me...but then I look around at my life and the dunya in general, and im like, nope...its all this stuff:/

Thanks for your reply,

W/s

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, notme said:

Muslim and "a Westerner" and I'm offended by the implication that my traditional attire is inherently immodest.

I don't think he means that all Westerners dress in an immodest way. I certainly didn't take it that way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It doesn’t annoy you that the reason Muslims, regardless of the gender, don’t follow Islamic rulings is failure of previous generations to successfully convince and teach the children?

It’s not the kids’ fault.

Edited by Ibn Al-Shahid

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As salaamun aleikum,

Well, honestly what annoys me the most is not someone elses issues w hijab be they male or female.

Of course it makes me sad for their own souls sake, cuz honestly, their own soul is the only thing that's getting harmed. Whether someone else is affected by  that person's outwardly behavior is completely dependent upon how that other person allows someone else to affect their thinking and application of Islam in their lives.  So  yes, Islam is a religion of  keeping  care of society's well-being and health, however, someone cannot be hurt by someone else's actions unless they allow it to be so. Bad hijab, smoking hookah or not, how does that practically affect another human being? Only in the way they allow it to, so if some woman with bad hijab leads a man to commit Haram, he himself is responsible for his actions. Shoulda cast down his gaze. The same with some brother smoking hookah, does that mean a sister who sees him do that has to fall into that same trap? No it doesn't. Each is responsible for their own actions. The same goes with non-Muslims. I'm not going to deny the fact that as creatures, we are affected by what we see, cuz we are, but as Muslims, were a step ahead of the average person because we're aware of this. Unfortunatley, most all people fall victim to watching commercials and falling for it, or seeing sparkly nice glittery things of the Dunya in the store and feel compelled to go and buy them. All this advertisement stuff that the average person falls for, we SHOULD be a step ahead of them because we know we're supposed to cast down our gaze and not desire these things. The rest of the society who arent Muslim are at loss in this manner, however if they used their aql, they too could arrive at the fact that what they see "advertised" DOES have a compelling affect on them, however,,they have a choice whether to be lead towards that advertised item or not, so they themselves have the potential ability to prevent and protect themselves from falling victim to their senses and sensuality. All a person has to do is take the time to introspect and think about things instead of just acting and following others in their lives and they could prevent themselves alot of misguidance, and that's a big problem in the society that I live in, is people don't introespect or think, which works very well for capitalism and materialism. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) didn't just create people and leave them on their own without any type of ability of guidance. Each and every one of us, Muslim or not, has an internal Imam that will guide us if we resort to using it. But a majority of people are blinded to this and so things are the way they are in society.

Regarding  hijab, what annoys me MOST, especially living in the west, is having to go through my day-to-day life, seeing the absurdities and the bad thinking people exhibit here, and being someone who is not naturally comfortable dealing with large crowds where people are acting like idiots or any other type of annoying behavior that results from being around too many people in one place, what annoys me the most is the pressure that's put on me to act like there's nothing wrong and that I'm perfectly okay and happy and... It's just this front that I'm expected to have because I'm a Muslim. And in the society that I'm in, if I was wearing jeans a baseball hat and a T-shirt and someone did something inappropriate to me and I called them on it, it would be perfectly acceptable for me to do that. But as a Muslim woman wearing a hijab, if I do the same thing, both the Muslims AND non Muslims wlll judge me horrendously and horribly, and not just me, the non Muslims will judge the ENTIRE religion based on them seeing me do something that would be perfectly acceptable to everyone else had I not been a Muslim that did it.

 That's what annoys me and makes me absolutely insane, because I don't have a lot of tolerance to begin with and so to have this added pressure on top of me is really frustrating, but 99.9% of the time, I suck it up and accept it, but unfortunately someone else in my life that's close to me ends up having to deal with the stress and frustration of me when I actually have an explosion because the stress of having to maintain this front becomes too much for me at times, and it's usually the people around me and closest to me that suffer from it instead of the people that actually deserve to be put in their place in public but I can't because I don't want my entire religion judged upon me responding in what would  be a perfectly normal and acceptable way for anyone else OTHER than a Muslim to behave.

Qisas is a real thing and we are technically allowed it, however, I am forced to refrain from "getting my rights" or enjoning good and forbidding evil" because of the way it will be interpreted, based on the fact that the society I live in is jacked up and im a Muslim:/

Don't get me wrong, these things that I experience in society in going about my day today life would bother me being Muslim or not, so that's not the problem here.  Standing up for what is right or wrong or getting your rights from someone else who has done you wrong is not a male or female , Muslim or non Muslim issue. Its just interpreted in a completly unjust manner when doing so as a Muslim female, which causes me to normally refrain from it due to "fear" of making Muslims look bad or simply because Islam says a woman shouldnt behave in such ways. Yes, Muslim woman should have more haya than a man, but does that mean that I have to let the grocery clerk  treat me like crap? Or does that mean that someone who's running me around in circles and doesn't want to directly answer my medical questions when they're a medical professional mean that I have to take their crap when it comes to not addressing my question directly, just because they're a male doctor? Sometimes you have to stand up and meet people eye-to-eye, Toe to Toe regardless of if theyre male or female,just to be able to survive in this Society, but then it's considered bihaya for me to do so cuz im a female Muslim:(

So many times, it comes down to having to make a judgment call of do I say something about this particular situation or do I suck it up to try to preserve the Muslim face and my "dignity" and just keep it to myself, since dealing with people who fight the truth, defend falsehood, argue with you based on ego, etc all can happen when dealing with peope in general, so whats it going to be? Slink and shy away, or go ahead and have a confrontation? 

Sorry for the rant!

W/s

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well as a sister responding to this I can actually say it annoys me loads I wear hijab and abaya and no one is perfect but when I see girls with full face of makeup and jeans and hijab to me they clearly don’t understand what hijab means or when they gel there hair in the front and u can see it because there hijab is pushed so far back not judging here but I have to admit it annoys me 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
54 minutes ago, notme said:

There is no conflict between "western culture" or "western dress" and Islamic traditions and attire. 

There's conflict between every culture and Islam to some extent. 

The term 'Western culture" is so broad to start with as it encompasses so many different things. Everyone can have their own meaning to be honest. I think majority of the Muslims mean the harram values promoted by countries who influence almost half the population in the world. 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Shia farm girl said:

Sometimes you have to stand up and meet people eye-to-eye, Toe to Toe regardless of if theyre male or female,just to be able to survive in this Society, but then it's considered bihaya for me to do so cuz im a female Muslim:(

It wasn't considered as such when Fatima Zahra (عليه السلام) and Sayeda Zaineb (عليه السلام) stood up in the face of injustice. 

I say, as long as it's injustice, stand up against it and Allah sub. will give you strength. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

When you brothers see Muslim sisters and they are acting improperly or behaving like westerners or dressing like them. Does it make you sad? does it annoy you?

 

It only annoys me when some of them somehow start to judge other girls because they’re Shia and I’ve noticed this within my highschool. I’m not one to judge but you know what I mean. Some girls who had boyfriends or did stuff still would point out that we’re different bc were Shia. 

Why would you be annoyed and sad? It’s not like everyone’s perfect, even if we were to strive to be the best at the end of the day we’re still sinners. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be sad at the fact that the ummah has gone corrupt, but at the same time we shouldn’t judge and feel annoyed because we too have flaws. In my community, even if a girl wears normal clothes that are considered modest, they will still judge her based on other things and this really pisses me off. This is what I mean by judging. A lot of young men are just as bad. Skinny tight jeans Mohawks, alcoholic drug addicts. Drug dealers. And yet parents still have it easy on them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, Guest uready?Monad said:

 men should have their gaze down?. what are you doing checking girls out? :pushup2: -

You see the flaw is in your biological need for a female. Because you cannot attain one, then this repression is procured via finger pointing. if you intend to be a good and moral person, then what should annoy is not just theists, but all human behavior, however the annoyance is due to a lack of need.

not sure I understood you correctly. But when the western women are behaving or dressing improperly, it doesn't annoy me as much, it's only the Muslim sisters. Maybe I have the wrong idea of what a Muslim sister should be like or maybe that idea is to strict. Yes we all have flaws.

You see the western women where not born into a Muslim family and they don't know much about Islam and it's values. However the eastern people know of Islam from either their family or friends. Yet they sell themselves cheap when they enter the west.

9 hours ago, notme said:

I'm Muslim and "a Westerner" and I'm offended by the implication that my traditional attire is inherently immodest. 

But this is a battle I can't win here so this one comment is all I'm going to say on it. 

my apologies. Many westerns are better in respect/akhlaq and modesty than the Muslims from the east. I think you understand what I tried to say, even though I maybe should have rephrased it better.

 

Edited by AkhiraisReal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, starlight said:

Does it annoy you when you see Muslim  brothers when they are acting like westerners and behaving improperly? 

Alhamdulilah, 

Is there sin only in the west? There is much sin all over the world including the Middle East where you live. I can report from here where I live in the west that there are Muslims and believers who are modest and behave properly. Yes the OP’s question comes across a certain way but we shouldn’t return it with generalizations and stereotyping. We all have to look at ourselves before we judge others. We don’t know what there may be about a person that Allah loves despite what people may think about them. 

May Allah have mercy on the believing men and believing women. 

Edited by AbdulKarim313_Austin/Nola

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, AbdulKarim313_Austin/Nola said:

Yes the OP’s comes across a certain way but we shouldn’t return it with generalizations and stereotyping

I am not judging him. He is the one stereotyping women in the west and me and several others here are sick of how he is has made umpteen threads pointing out flaws in women - only despite being told by several of us that it does more bad than good. Because past reminders that all of us have flaws, regardless of gender, age and location, didn't work I thought maybe this will. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, starlight said:

I am not judging him. He is the one stereotyping women in the west and me and several others here are sick of how he is has made umpteen threads pointing out flaws in women - only despite being told by several of us that it does more bad than good. Because past reminders that all of us have flaws, regardless of gender, age and location, didn't work I thought maybe this will. 

Unfortunately as men, we need the opposite gender to fulfill our desires which is part of the human biology and to procreate. I don't create these threads to point out the flaws of Muslims sisters, I do it because I want to see the brothers and sisters stance on these types of questions from the different Shia communities.

Everyone has flaws, we are not infallibe. Even though we should strive to be the best we can be.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of the latest Spider Man movies had a Muslim girl wearing the head scarf and pants that really hugged the rear end. At one point, they had a camera shot that started from behind her and backed out slowly.

Reminds me of how Mexicans kill a pig  and eat it for Christmas to honor Jesus as.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

When you brothers see Muslim sisters and they are acting improperly or behaving like westerners or dressing like them. Does it make you sad? does it annoy you?

 

No it reminds me that I am follower of Prophet so I shall save my eyes from seeing her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, starlight said:

He is the one stereotyping women in the west

I see where you're coming from but the OP directed this question to the brothers. Men naturally have gheerah when it comes to women. It's a valid question because faithful men don't like seeing all these sisters imitating Westerners. You do realise that women have an important role in society? They have the role of raising an entire generation. I personally have so much respect for sisters who firmly hold on to their faith despite the presence of Islamaphobia. It's so inspiring to see women wearing the proper hijab despite getting abused and attacked. When I see a hijabi sister in public, I get reminded of my duty in Islam. Sisters will never be able to understand us men. It's within our nature to be protective over our daughters and sisters. It's not an obsession like some sisters like to point out. 

Consider me a weirdo or whatever you want to call me. I'm going to be hell honest. I get annoyed when I see Muslim women copying western people, dressing inappropriately and flirting  with men etc. It's not a pleasant feeling at all. I don't know if I'm being jealous but that's how I feel. I just want to tell them "please stop".

I hope I'm not being arrogant because I'm far from perfect. But I really want to let out what's inside me. I really really do feel this way. The OP has raised an extremely valid question.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

You do realise that women have an important role in society?

No, I was completely unaware of this until you wrote it down for me.:coffee:

 Men have just as much of a role. It would be wrong to put more blame on women. 

25 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Men naturally have gheerah when it comes to women.

And they are going to practice it on whatever woman they want?? 

There was this female student of mine last year. Everyday her father used to pick her up. One day one of her male classfellows with misplaced Gheera saw her leaving in a car with a boy. What did our superhero do? He stopped the car by running in front and started beating up the guy shouting his Gheera did not permit that a girl from his college go out with a boy. Turns out the boy was her cousin(father's brothers son) sent by her dad because he wasn't well and couldn't come himself. He ended with a two month suspension from classes. 

Edited by starlight

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 minutes ago, starlight said:

Men have just as much of a role. It would be wrong to put more blame on women

Yes of course, very valid point. 

18 minutes ago, starlight said:

No, I was completely unaware of this until you wrote it down for me.:coffee:

Alhumdulilah I think you've learnt something new today.

19 minutes ago, starlight said:

What did our superhero do? He stopped the car by running in front and started beating up the guy shouting his Gheera did not permit that a girl from his college go out with a boy.

 

giphy (1).gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
46 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

I see where you're coming from but the OP directed this question to the brothers. Men naturally have gheerah when it comes to women. It's a valid question because faithful men don't like seeing all these sisters imitating Westerners. You do realise that women have an important role in society? They have the role of raising an entire generation. I personally have so much respect for sisters who firmly hold on to their faith despite the presence of Islamaphobia. It's so inspiring to see women wearing the proper hijab despite getting abused and attacked. When I see a hijabi sister in public, I get reminded of my duty in Islam. Sisters will never be able to understand us men. It's within our nature to be protective over our daughters and sisters. It's not an obsession like some sisters like to point out.

Couldn't have said it better brother.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
37 minutes ago, starlight said:

There was this female student of mine last year. Everyday her father used to pick her up. One day one of her male classfellows with misplaced Gheera saw her leaving in a car with a boy. What did our superhero do? He stopped the car by running in front and started beating up the guy shouting his Gheera did not permit that a girl from his college go out with a boy. Turns out the boy was her cousin(father's brothers son) sent by her dad because he wasn't well and couldn't come himself. He ended with a two month suspension from classes. 

No offence to you sister. But that is just being an idiot, nothing to do with what the brother said.

Edited by AkhiraisReal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 minutes ago, AkhiraisReal said:

No offence to you sister.

Lol. Why would I take offence?

You are right. It's not very prudent to just jump in other people's life even if you mean well. Things might not be as they appear, and people most likely won't welcome it. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...