Why would someone act this way?

[arch1027116]

My friends ex messages her once in a while and sometimes when she replies he purposely responds after hours despite being online and at times doesn’t reply at all. She never initiates the conversation from her side but when he messages she talks nicely.

What does it mean? Is he doing that only to boost his ego? Is he still interested in her? They are in friendly terms but they had to end the relationship because of family disagreement.

What she doesn’t understand is if he wasn’t very much interested in talking then why does he message her once in a while and then after a while of talking he chooses to ignore her messages. Is this a normal behaviour for guys? He usually chats in a very normal and friendly way but sometimes treats her this way which makes her anxious and upset.

What does he want?

[hasanhh]

35 minutes ago, arch1027116 said:

What does it mean? 

Erratic behavior is my initial reaction.

[Guest Hope!Monad]

its more like that she wants him and his game is working.

If he was insignificant she would not be concerned if he messaged her now,tomorrow,day after, the week afer, the year after, 5 years, 10years, 20 years, 30 years, 40 years from the grave....... catch ma drift?

keeps her hanging on, guessing, while she is playing on the hollywood hope story we will get back together like in the movies!! yippeee!!.

She has to decide what she wants. Him, then tell him.

if not, why worry about the timings of his messages. I do not recall the last time I expected my turd to come back after I flushed it. hello buddy, miss me?

[Love4the14]

He’s probably bitter about the breakup and is doing it on purpose to taunt her and mess with her brain. 

If he had really moved on he wouldn’t still be messaging her

[Muhammed Ali]

Ask him.

[Lilly14]

Sounds like he's not over her to me. Logically, I'm not sure why they would even be in contact still after the families said no. It's like beating a dead horse. This is exactly why I don't respond to men's messages on social media. My family wouldn't accept a random stranger man from halfway around the world to marry me, so there is no reason to chat with guys.

Edited November 17, 2019 by Lilly14

[habib e najjaar]

9 hours ago, arch1027116 said:

My friends ex messages her once in a while and sometimes when she replies he purposely responds after hours despite being online and at times doesn’t reply at all. She never initiates the conversation from her side but when he messages she talks nicely.

What does it mean? Is he doing that only to boost his ego? Is he still interested in her? They are in friendly terms but they had to end the relationship because of family disagreement.

What she doesn’t understand is if he wasn’t very much interested in talking then why does he message her once in a while and then after a while of talking he chooses to ignore her messages. Is this a normal behaviour for guys? He usually chats in a very normal and friendly way but sometimes treats her this way which makes her anxious and upset.

What does he want?

Why should she be responding to him anyway? By ex I will assume this is a divorcee. They are no longer mahram to each other  and if the eddah period is over, there should not be any chit chat between them. If he is still "interested" in her, there are ahkaam laws and akhlaqi methods governing how he can get back.

Gheera is something very important to inculcate in our selves. If a man lacks it, he will become a dayouth. If a woman lacks it, she can easily compromise her chastity.

 

[ali_fatheroforphans]

I've made a thread about this because I feel it's seriously a problem within the Muslim communities. 

Some people just love the attention from the opposite gender. It's called being insanely "selfish". He can't let go of the fact that she has nothing to do with him anymore. He might be over her but he wants to contact her just for some selfish reasons. Perhaps he still likes her as a "friend" or a "brother"? Maybe he's lonely and wants someone to talk to. 

These are all selfish reasons. If I were you, I'd tell your friend to teach him a lesson by telling him to stop bothering her. You really need to tell your friend that the guy is being pathetic and an attention seeker with his attitude. She needs to stand up for herself. It's not normal at all imo. If she doesn't let him know then he's never going to learn from his mistakes.

Seriously there's better people out there. Tell her to forget about him and block him from all forms of social media. It's not called being "rude" everyone has the right to.

Edited November 23, 2019 by ali_fatheroforphans

[ali_fatheroforphans]

On 11/17/2019 at 2:20 PM, habib e najjaar said:

Why should she be responding to him anyway?

Some people are just overwhelmed by emotions. Maybe she hasn't gotten over him so she's responding to relieve the temporary emotional pain she's going through. We never know what people go through. Not that I'm justifying her response, but that guy needs to be taught a lesson. The girl seems to be naive by the sound of it. People will make use of your innocence if you aren't the type to stand up for yourself. The guy is being selfish.