Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
Brotherwithquestions

Why is sex before marriage haram

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

As-salamu alaykum esteemed brothers and sister. 

I have a friend at university who has taken a great interest in the religion of Islam, subhanAllah. He has many questions and I do my best to answer and refer him to scholars and existing text. However, there is one question in particular I'm struggling to provide a sufficient answer and I kindly ask for your help. 

The question is: Why is sex before marriage haram, if the man and woman love each other and intend to marry. He says that no one else gets hurt by this act, as in contrast to things like alcohol consumption which hurt people around you and yourself. 

Please help me to provide a good answer, one more than just it's haram. I have read interesting research, about a higher rate of divorce in other threads but I fail to find the sources, which he would like to read. This, inshAllah future brother, is a good person with good values and moral. And I would like to do my best in helping him on the path of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In a nutshell, one important reason behind it is that a the insistute of marriage and contract will safeguard both parties' rights. Especially the woman. There are also other reasons that relate to offspring and lineage etc but safeguarding the rights would be the important aspect according to my understanding. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Alhamdulilah, 

First and foremost sex before marriage is haram because Allah deems it haram. Whatever Allah deems as haraam is Law which means nothing good can come from it. The known and  the hidden knowledge behind the sin is that it is a hazard to our well being and progression as spiritual beings in Allah’s Kingdom. Allah is the all knower. 

Sex before marriage is an abomination to Allah’s holy Kingdom. Marriage is a holy bond and is part of the holy process in how Allah chose copulation as a means for souls to enter this world. The process is holy and pure when done right by marriage. Sex before marriage makes the entrance process of a soul to this world impure. Allah sends all souls to this world pure so the sin of fornication and adultery is inviting Satan to be part of a process that is holy and this taints the process which gives Satan a claim. The woman’s womb is like a temple and a portal for the soul. 

The sin of fornication can be a portal for unbelievers if forgiveness is not sought by all parties involved. There is also loss of rights for illegitimate children. Imam Ja’far has also stated that illegitimate children born out of wedlock tend to have three traits and that is they have a desire to do bodily harm and murder and they have hatred for the Ahlul Bayt.  

So you see all the big sins are connected. Fornication and adultery are parts of the transgression and aggression of the rebellious and accursed ones towards Allah.  I’m not saying that believers will not fall into these sins because lots of believers who don’t guard themselves will and Allah warns us to guard our private parts in many ways. Committing these sins are like being part of the enemy camp against Allah. Allah forgives for this sin but as believers we should stay far away from these types of sin. The sin Is detrimental to our spiritual, mental and physical health and could lead to our doom of suffering in this world and the hereafter. 

May Allah forgive and have mercy on all the believing men and believing women. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, realizm said:

:salam:

To ensure a social regularity and make people endorse their responsabilities.

How many men do not endorse fatherhood and flee since they are not bound to their partners ? 

What about people who are impotent/fixed/use birth control? Does that mean they could have all the pre-marital sex they want?

I think one of the reasons why marriage is important because it is commitment. As with everything else, what you do affects your psychology and habits.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The reason why sexual desire exists in the first place is to create a strong bond between two people who are married to each other. Marriage is the pre-requisite of sexual desire. If there is no marriage, then sex is not even needed. It has no purpose or role or benefit or any use at all outside marriage (nikah/mutah).

A car needs petrol to run, but if someone doesn't own a car, then there is no need for him to get any petrol, until he buys a car. That's because the main thing is the car, the petrol only comes after (not before). 

Likewise, marriage needs sexual gratification to run. But if someone is unmarried, there should be no need for him to have sexual desire until he gets married. That's because the main thing is marriage, sex only comes after (not before). 

The issue is that Shaitan fools us into believing that we need to fulfill the sexual desires even before we get married. This is something pointless, senseless, madness which has no meaning or purpose. That's why it is considered a transgression for unmarried people if they commit any sexual act. It is not needed, that's why it is forbidden. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Marriage is a lifetime commitment, it is about signing a contract between the wife and the husband under Allah's command. Marriage is about protecting the rights of both the man and the woman.

God doesn't make something unlawful without a reason. When it comes to haram relationships and adultery, even if they do intend to marry, it can still cause harm one way or another, such as unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted disease, heartbreak, guilt etc.. if there is no contract signed between them, then he can leave her at anytime without fulfilling her rights.

I have noticed this back in highschool, that majority of haram relationships don't ever last so long. They make future plans on getting married and settling with kids, but it is really all a fantasy. Because they're so used to the haram, if they do end up getting married, their nikkah won't be as special. Holding her hand won't be special anymore because you already did that outside of marriage, giving her a ring, a gift, or a bunch of roses won't mean anything either because you already did all those things. 

Marriage protects both of the parties rights even when they go through divorce. 

Edited by 3wliya_maryam

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Each person is limited by the nature of our species. We have emotions, we have our well being, we have our capacities, our weaknesses and strengths, and we have the society to live in and consider. The Qur'anic guidelines are according to those things and for the betterment of all parties involved without selfishness or folly. Human beings are unlike animals and therefore must not procreate like they do, in short.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, Brotherwithquestions said:

As-salamu alaykum esteemed brothers and sister. 

I have a friend at university who has taken a great interest in the religion of Islam, subhanAllah. He has many questions and I do my best to answer and refer him to scholars and existing text. However, there is one question in particular I'm struggling to provide a sufficient answer and I kindly ask for your help. 

The question is: Why is sex before marriage haram, if the man and woman love each other and intend to marry. He says that no one else gets hurt by this act, as in contrast to things like alcohol consumption which hurt people around you and yourself. 

Please help me to provide a good answer, one more than just it's haram. I have read interesting research, about a higher rate of divorce in other threads but I fail to find the sources, which he would like to read. This, inshAllah future brother, is a good person with good values and moral. And I would like to do my best in helping him on the path of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). 

It is order of Allah no one can challenge it.

If one really loves other.

Then what stops him to marry and then enjoy life.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, Anonymous-Male said:

The reason why sexual desire exists in the first place is to create a strong bond between two people who are married to each other. Marriage is the pre-requisite of sexual desire.

Then explain promiscuity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Darth Vader said:

.                                                                                                      act

Human beings are unlike animals and therefore must not procreate^ like they do, in short.

Editorial Correction.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, hasanhh said:

Then explain promiscuity.

It cannot be explained. It is madness. It has no meaning or purpose. The Prophet (s) said the one who commits sins is mad.

If the one who is being promiscuous understood what promiscuity is, he would say that it is such madness that even if Allah had made sexual sins permissible, he would have still not done them. 

The whole issue is that we humans are deceived and fooled by shaitan into doing things which we would have otherwise disliked so much that we would have given the whole world to stay away from them. 

Prophet Yousaf (عليه السلام) said he would love to go to dungeon instead of indulge in what Zulekha desired. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Anonymous-Male said:

If the one who is being promiscuous understood what promiscuity is, he would say that it is such madness that even if Allah had made sexual sins permissible, he would have still not done them. 

You realise there's "halal promiscuity" right? A man can have mutahs with 100 women and have 4 permanent wives and it might still be considered halal if he follows through the conditions for having them. Promiscuity in Islam isnt haram, it's just about how you go about it. It's also a lot easier for men since they can have mutahs for every day of their lives without ever needing to take a break while women are restricted to only one mutah at a time and they need to observe iddah after the end of each one. Please correct me if I am wrong. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

You realise there's "halal promiscuity" right? A man can have mutahs with 100 women and have 4 permanent wives and it might still be considered halal if he follows through the conditions for having them. Promiscuity in Islam isnt haram, it's just about how you go about it. It's also a lot easier for men since they can have mutahs for every day of their lives without ever needing to take a break while women are restricted to only one mutah at a time and they need to observe iddah after the end of each one. Please correct me if I am wrong. 

lf he has four wives he cannot have any more, mutah or not.

The ruler of Kuwait had a permanent 3, and went through many 'fourth ones'.

Edited by hasanhh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, hasanhh said:

lf he has four wives he cannot have any more, mutah or not.

The ruler of Kuwait had a permanent 3, and went through many 'fourth ones'.

I didnt know that, interesting. Either way, the point still stands, there isnt really much of a limit on how many wives a man can have. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/19/2019 at 1:27 AM, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

What about people who are impotent/fixed/use birth control? Does that mean they could have all the pre-marital sex they want?

I think one of the reasons why marriage is important because it is commitment. As with everything else, what you do affects your psychology and habits.

I mentioned the notion of responsability, which is indeed linked to commitment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

You realise there's "halal promiscuity" right? A man can have mutahs with 100 women and have 4 permanent wives and it might still be considered halal if he follows through the conditions for having them. Promiscuity in Islam isnt haram, it's just about how you go about it. It's also a lot easier for men since they can have mutahs for every day of their lives without ever needing to take a break while women are restricted to only one mutah at a time and they need to observe iddah after the end of each one. Please correct me if I am wrong. 

You are correct as technically, a man can have 4 permanent wives and an unlimited number of temporary wives concurrently. Practically however, I doubt anyone can even come close to that hypothetical scenario whilst being able to follow through with the conditions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

 Practically however, I doubt anyone can even come close to that hypothetical scenario whilst being able to follow through with the conditions.

Alhamdulilah, 

This is off topic from what the OP asked but I would say The Following through with conditions part may depend upon the conditions that are set. Keep in mind that marriage is a contract wether permanent or short term. Every person is different and requires different needs therefore the conditions could be arranged so that the conditions are met conveniently. If so then multiple wives or short term wives could be quite manageable. 

The expectations could be set lower such as dowry, time, and provisions depending on the needs that are stated and agreed upon. Some women require a lot of time and some don’t. Some require a lots of provisions and some don’t. All depends on the needs and terms. 

However, it’s Hard to conveniently fulfill those conditions if you marry women who want full ownership of your love, time, and provisions and they reluctantly acknowledge the right of a male to marry more than one wife and they Reluctantly accept the existence of co existing wives wether it be permanent or short term. 

Edited by AbdulKarim313_Austin/Nola

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...