A Homemaker - A True Pride For Women

[Maryam.It]

6 hours ago, Guest Pschological Warfare said:

Being a Family Oriented Women is a full time job/career (with excess amount of overtime required). Its not a 9:00AM - 5:00 PM sting. Its 24/7/365 thing, If you want to do the job right and have a physically, mentally healthy and socially successful family. Women is the center piece in this equation. Husband and kids rely on this one person for ALL their natural needs. Having a physically and mentally healthy and happy husband is in a good women's family interest for her and her kids. So, its not a salve thing as marketed. 

It's not a slave thing, or ownership things as marketed by the secular world. Its a deception slogan. They would rather have you a corporate slave and the when the corporate Owner/Master says jump you say who high. or you loose your privileges. We need to be not afraid and drill down the reality of corporate life so they are informed. I saw a thing, where this women had "You don' own me" apparently the reference is understood by all, no need to elaborate here. I said to myself, nice, but the world does own you. Since now you are its property and dance to its tune. These ideas are slogans to manipulate women for its social/corporate/tax benefit. We have role models and we need to be wiser than the rest who lack role models. 

Family Oriented Women, does not mean and should not be implied that some one stuck in the house, its a deceptive tactic. Women in the West, can become reciters of the ladies Majlis, during Muharram and Ramadan - work with young girls and be counselors, assist the community women and young girls in whatever way possible. 

Women were just taken out of their homes during World Wars, what did they do before that? wasted their time and life and were miserable. This is clever marketing and we should not fall for that. 

You have lazy, lethargic and soft man, looking for working women at the expense for their family. Hey, they can find their type - more power to them. 

If there is an absolute need,/or a necessity-  not a want its a different story. 

Alhamdulillah!Someone said the truth.

Edited October 15, 2019 by Maryam.It

[RUKS]

39 minutes ago, Maryam.It said:

I know.It's only that is not an "Islamic concept", right?

And more precisely is "do whatever you feel to do".

And it's not the Islamic way to think...or not?

What is the Islamic way to think?

[hasanhh]

"A few of these posts made me sick. Where do you guys get this 'SEE! l am so nice' garbage?"

Nice script up above AN-PVS-5. Where did you get it?

When I was marred, l'd do the 'high up' cleaning to save on her playing with a step ladder. Slaughtered meat and all. Improptu washed dishes, especially after entertaining. Sorted and did my own laundry -rather than wait a week on her. Painted. Even vacuumed.

BUT . . . l never evered did this sharing cwap or any other such assinine garbage.

[2Timeless]

On 10/15/2019 at 2:58 AM, Maryam.It said:

All explained.You live in the house with your parents,this is why you do not understand "dirt mud outside".

Good for you sister,but how I'm saying,the world out there is not what you think about.

Trust me I know exactly how ugly the world is, but that doesnt mean I'm going to give up and just laze around until my knight in shining armour saves me. 

[2Timeless]

10 hours ago, RUKS said:

Best of luck! I hope you do great in your exams

Thank you so much, you too!

8 hours ago, ireallywannaknow said:

What are your thoughts on the New Zealand Prime minister Jacinda Ardern running the country while her husband is a stay at home dad to their infant baby? Is this the direction that things should go? 

Why do women always feel the need to judge other women? Housewives judge other women for not staying at home and working women judge housewives for not working. 

If Arden and her husband have an agreement that they both find works for them, what's it to anyone else? 

[RUKS]

On 10/15/2019 at 2:58 AM, Maryam.It said:

All explained.You live in the house with your parents,this is why you do not understand "dirt mud outside".

Good for you sister,but how I'm saying,the world out there is not what you think about.

Brah! how weak do you think us girls are?

My parents are not the reason I choose not to disobey Allah. I want to obey, so I will. Simple. 

And fyi I don’t live with parents, living in London as well. Girl power. Screw dem boys, worthless rats.

Just kidding, I mean how can we ever live in this world without our percious men, I personally would be so lost.l without them

You know wat maryam your right, find me a sexy men. I'll marry him tomorrow. He better work his butt off as well, I like to live an expensive life style. I don’t even wana see his face at home, just his wallet is fine. 

[notme]

2 hours ago, Maryam.It said:

Did you live with your parents during the years when you studied to keep the degree?

What? No! I was adult and married with children as I already mentioned. I didn't live with my parents after I was 18 years old. I supported myself, then later I supported my husband and children, and then later just my children after my husband left. I worked 2 jobs while raising two toddlers alone and going to university full time. I don't recommend that for anyone, but I do recommend that women be competent human beings, in whatever way they are able, so that they can take care of their families if they must. 

[notme]

Ah, I get your angle now @Maryam.It.

You're either one of those narcissistic "it works for me so everyone should do it" women, or you're a man pretending to be a woman. 

Question: how old are you and for how many years have you been married and raising children? And do your parents/family help you? 

[Maryam.It]

7 minutes ago, notme said:

What? No! I was adult and married with children as I already mentioned. I didn't live with my parents after I was 18 years old. I supported myself, then later I supported my husband and children, and then later just my children after my husband left. I worked 2 jobs while raising two toddlers alone and going to university full time. I don't recommend that for anyone, but I do recommend that women be competent human beings, in whatever way they are able, so that they can take care of their families if they must. 

 

2 minutes ago, notme said:

Ah, I get your angle now @Maryam.It.

You're either one of those narcissistic "it works for me so everyone should do it" women, or you're a man pretending to be a woman. 

Question: how old are you and for how many years have you been married and raising children? And do your parents/family help you? 

Someone that want her success out in the society at the expenses of her husband and children happyness and who think only about herself is a narcisistic!Do you know what this term means?

Narcisistic:Someone who thinks to be more than anyone.To explain the first meaning.

[Maryam.It]

And no,I'm not a man,I'm a woman!

[Maryam.It]

19 minutes ago, notme said:

What? No! I was adult and married with children as I already mentioned. I didn't live with my parents after I was 18 years old. I supported myself, then later I supported my husband and children, and then later just my children after my husband left. I worked 2 jobs while raising two toddlers alone and going to university full time. I don't recommend that for anyone, but I do recommend that women be competent human beings, in whatever way they are able, so that they can take care of their families if they must. 

What do you mean with "I supported myself,then later I supported my husband and children"?

Edited October 15, 2019 by Maryam.It

[notme]

43 minutes ago, Maryam.It said:

What do you mean with "I supported myself,then later I supported my husband and children"?

I mean from the time I was legally adult, I have supported myself financially, emotionally, and spiritually. When I got married my husband worked and I worked because he was a poor university student, but then he couldn't anymore so only I worked. After some years he left us, so I supported our children alone. (It was much easier than also supporting him through his sickness, but I wouldn't have been the one to give up on the marriage. I'm family oriented that way.)

What are you trying to establish with this line of questions? Are you trying to refute my assertion that all adults should be competent? If so, the specifics of my life are counter to your arguments. 

How does living with parents while a student have anything to do with having a career?

This feels like a red herring. 

[notme]

2 hours ago, notme said:

Question: how old are you and for how many years have you been married and raising children? And do your parents/family help you? 

@Maryam.It Did you see this question that I asked before you replied to other points? 

Edited October 15, 2019 by notme

[ireallywannaknow]

2 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

Why do women always feel the need to judge other women? Housewives judge other women for not staying at home and working women judge housewives for not working. 

If Arden and her husband have an agreement that they both find works for them, what's it to anyone else? 

My comment was less about the woman and more about the man not doing his wajib while the wife is now in that role. I am glad he is taking care of his child and not leaving it up to strangers, but my point is... just because we men or women CAN do something, doesn't mean we should. It raises the question of the natural order of things. 

• Do you believe that there is a natural order of things? That everything in the universe has perfect order and balance? Think about science and the remarkable ways Allah has created everything to work together harmoniously. 
• Do you believe that Islam and Allah's commandments in the Qur'an are in line with that perfect balance and order?
• Do you think it was arbitrary that Allah commanded men to provide for their families and be leaders? Do you think that He should have said men CAN provide, but it's really up to the couple and if they have a different arrangement then that's good too?
• Do you think that Allah created men and women in such a way that their bodies and brains are in line with the system that He laid out for us? 

Please answer these questions I'd like to know your thoughts on these points.

[notme]

@ireallywannaknow These are excellent questions. Thanks for bringing them up. 

[habib e najjaar]

A lot of women who work and support their families and have careers do so not because they particularly want to (especially after having kids), but because they have to. Some may say that a woman having financial independence and a career is like praying for trouble so that the education and career you have come to use, but I think, and particularly with my own situation as an example, I was and still an ardent supporter of stay at home moms, my mom gave up her career and fulfilling job (serving the ummah) to serve her family. I was planning and hoping to do the same, and didn't even bother to take up opportunities that would grow me career and financial independence wise, but here I am some years down the line with 3 children under 6 years to support, maintain and raise on my own. Alhamdulillah. To an outsider, I seem the typical confident happy lawyer muslimah loving her career and shining, but this was not a choice I wanted to make, and one which I still hope I am able to change in the near future. So for people to preach about women in careers not knowing or caring about the duty in their homes... is unfair and often plain cruel. 

Our individual duty, and collective duty as an ummah is to educate both our sons and daughters about their Islamic roles in society, inculcate Islamic values in them, and develop their wisdom, morality, sense of duty etc. The choices they make after that will not be an area of concern any more, because each of them will be doing what they ought to do in their unique circumstances.

[rkazmi33]

I recently saw a news report about a woman in Pakistan. She got a Masters degree and for 5 years no one saw her outside her home. After 5 years her neighbors complained and news reporters found her naked, in a house filled with garbage, she had gone insane, she couldn't talk and she was acting like a 5 year old child. Her brother was claiming to be both her mother and father and he was treating her like a 5 year old child, 1 minute he was slapping her, next minute he was asking her if she wants to eat something. In 5 years, she lost all her intelligence and sanity. I don't trust moral values of any man and I can never be completely dependent upon a man. Women can do every kind of sin while staying at home, and most men are controlled by cunning and evil women. Becoming a house wife means becoming a slave for those evil women and the least humiliating type of slavery is a corporate job. 

Edited October 15, 2019 by rkazmi33

[Lilly14]

17 hours ago, Maryam.It said:

May Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) help her and all the Muslim women who need help!

But our risq is in Allah's hands right ?So,why thinking about work if we can think about marriage?

I think sitting back and saying rizq is up to Allah swa is troublesome in certain cases, because someone (say a husband with a housewife and kids) could quit their job, and just say rizq is up to Allah swa. Or say the husband doesn't want his wife to work when his salary is only enough for food and a cramped apartment in a dangerous neighborhoods/schools with substandard education (that can make getting into competitive careers almost impossible) and are full of delinquent kids that could influence their kids.

(Conversely, I know some moms in the community who went to work, and there kids iman turned out fine, while others did not turn out fine. So, please note I'm not promoting either working moms or stay at home moms over the other.)

 

Edited October 15, 2019 by Lilly14

[Ruqaya101]

Why are you making it such a big deal? 

If a woman wants to work, then she can work.

If a woman wants to be a housewife, she can be a housewife.

Each to their own. Whatever is good for you, then do it. 

Theres nothing harram or halal about it, neither is there anything makrooh about either situation. 

[Maryam.It]

2 hours ago, Ruqaya101 said:

Why are you making it such a big deal? 

If a woman wants to work, then she can work.

If a woman wants to be a housewife, she can be a housewife.

Each to their own. Whatever is good for you, then do it. 

Theres nothing harram or halal about it, neither is there anything makrooh about either situation. 

Assalamu alaykum.To who are you referring?I only thinking to what is best,not basinf on my own thinking,but based to the fact that Allah mare things perfect and to work perfectly if done like works better.

And when we say "Allah knows best", I want to say,Allah,who created us(and everything and every being) and know what we truly need,knows best!

So,we have The Holy Qur'an and Ahkul Bayt,Alhamdulillah!

Allah knows best,and yes,He truly knows best!Alhamdulillah Rabbi Alameen!

Edited October 15, 2019 by Maryam.It

[notme]

On 10/14/2019 at 4:22 PM, Maryam.It said:

Are you talking about something that you know or something that you just image?

@Maryam.It I've asked twice before, but it seems that you're unwilling to answer your own question. 

Is it only a person who disagrees with you who needs qualification to speak? This is why I assume you suffer from narcissism. 

On 10/15/2019 at 5:51 AM, notme said:

Question: how old are you and for how many years have you been married and raising children? And do your parents/family help you? 

[2Timeless]

5 hours ago, ireallywannaknow said:

My comment was less about the woman and more about the man not doing his wajib while the wife is now in that role. I am glad he is taking care of his child and not leaving it up to strangers, but my point is... just because we men or women CAN do something, doesn't mean we should. It raises the question of the natural order of things. 

• Do you believe that there is a natural order of things? That everything in the universe has perfect order and balance? Think about science and the remarkable ways Allah has created everything to work together harmoniously. 
• Do you believe that Islam and Allah's commandments in the Qur'an are in line with that perfect balance and order?
• Do you think it was arbitrary that Allah commanded men to provide for their families and be leaders? Do you think that He should have said men CAN provide, but it's really up to the couple and if they have a different arrangement then that's good too?
• Do you think that Allah created men and women in such a way that their bodies and brains are in line with the system that He laid out for us? 

Please answer these questions I'd like to know your thoughts on these points.

1) there is a natural order to things, but no one is bound to them. For example, the "natural order" to things would be that a woman is capable is getting pregnant and carrying that child safely etc. But, not all women are blessed with that gift. Not all women are capable of getting pregnant and caring for their children. So, while there is a natural order to things, no one is bound to it and it's not haram to be "unnatural". Women are naturally more nurturing than men and so they're the ones who get pregnant and breastfeed etc etc. That doesnt mean not doing those things is haram, it's just different, and we should reserve our judgements. 

2) yes, of course. But what you're referring to arent commandments. Allah never commanded women to stay at home and care for children (although it is a wise choice).

3) theres wisdom behind everything that God has commanded us.

4) yes. But again,  that system is not compulsory.

I understand where you're coming from, but just because you might see something as unconventional or immoral or wrong by your standards, it doesnt mean that its haram.

Also, have you considered that the men who do stay at home with their kids actually work from home? Just like alot of new mothers work from home, so do alot of men. Just because it looks like hes sitting at home scrubbing at the floors and feeding the baby, it doesn't mean that that's the reality. 

Edited October 15, 2019 by 2Timeless

[2Timeless]

On 10/15/2019 at 12:04 PM, notme said:

@Maryam.It I've asked twice before, but it seems that you're unwilling to answer your own question. 

Is it only a person who disagrees with you who needs qualification to speak? This is why I assume you suffer from narcissism. 

I personally think she's still young and probably just left high school, and dislikes working and studying. Once she grows up and matures, she'll realise that what she's describing is laziness. 

[Maryam.It]

10 minutes ago, notme said:

@Maryam.It I've asked twice before, but it seems that you're unwilling to answer your own question. 

Is it only a person who disagrees with you who needs qualification to speak? This is why I assume you suffer from narcissism. 

 

 

What are you talking about?A narcisistic person search for approvation not someone  who disapprove her,and do not mind of discussion or of the truth!Are you one of this instead?Cause people tend to use construct that fit with themself.

And,are you sure to know what a narcisistic persone is?Someone who lack of hempathy and tend to think only about herself and judge people basing on degrees and job!

Edited October 15, 2019 by Maryam.It

[2Timeless]

@Maryam.It while you wait for your knight in shining armour to twirl you into his palace, what do you intend to do? For all you know, it could be 2 days or 2 decades from now...

[Maryam.It]

Just now, 2Timeless said:

How is it negative to assume you're young and naive? You still have alot to learn. 

Allah knows best.

[2Timeless]

17 minutes ago, 2Timeless said:

@Maryam.It while you wait for your knight in shining armour to twirl you into his palace, what do you intend to do? For all you know, it could be 2 days or 2 decades from now...

@Maryam.It ? 

[Maryam.It]

3 minutes ago, 2Timeless said:

@Maryam.It 

Preserve my soul,Insha Allah!

[notme]

21 minutes ago, Maryam.It said:

And,are you sure to know what a narcisistic persone is?Someone who lack of hempathy and tend to think only about herself and judge people basing on degrees and job!

I always confuse the words narcissist and sociopath. Which one is the one unable to concieve of a point of view other than her own? That's the one I mean. 

I'm not saying you definitely are. I'm saying that from this discussion and your demand that anyone who disagrees with you provide their qualifications before their opinion is considered, while refusing to provide your own "qualifications" makes it seem so, as if you believe your opinion to be correct by default.

Probably it's just a communication problem. 

I don't wish to be offensive, I only wish to point out your inconsistency. 

[Ruqaya101]

39 minutes ago, Maryam.It said:

Assalamu alaykum.To who are you referring?I only thinking to what is best,not basinf on my own thinking,but based to the fact that Allah mare things perfect and to work perfectly if done like works better.

And when we say "Allah knows best", I want to say,Allah,who created us(and everything and every being) and know what we truly need,knows best!

So,we have The Holy Qur'an and Ahkul Bayt,Alhamdulillah!

Allah knows best,and yes,He truly knows best!Alhamdulillah Rabbi Alameen!

This makes no sense. You’re whole thread isn’t making a point. Unless you’re actually genuinely trying to understand others perspectives then your argument is flawed.

Like you said, Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) knows best. You need to go and research into the lives of the women of Ahlul Bayt.

At the end of the day, if a woman wants to work, it’s her choice. If she wants to pursue a life of a housewife then it’s her choice 

each to their own.

[notme]

A woman who can't learn from the guidance of older, wiser women will not be able to learn from her good and righteous husband either. She will be a constant headache to him. 

[Guest Pschological Warfare]

Underlying issue here is 

Nature vs. Nurture 

Looks like even Nature is rebelled against. 

We do not even have to get in to what Islam says, which should be obvious to Muslims. 

[Be1a1]

This one is really difficult to answer as it depends on indiviual circumstances but my general idea on this matter is that women should work jobs that serve humanity and do their best to avoid working for corporations if possible.

Muslim sisters with physical, mental or emotional problems would go to see female doctor due to Islamic rulings? as maybe they need to take off their clothes or talk about very personal stuff but since all females are staying home they are forced to go to a male doctor even for giving birth! so we need female in the workforce but preferably not in corporations as they are very toxic and all sorts of abuse and harrasement against females take place.

I know some sisters don’t have a choice as theyre divorced/widowed or the income of the husband is not enough to support the family which unforunatly is very common these days with many countries in recession many are not left with a choice but take up jobs.

Another point that I wolud like to raise isMore income results in more money that can be spent on the upbringing of the child such as paying for extra classes and living in a good neighbourhood now imagine if a mother stays home and works on the upbrigning of her children but they live in a bad neighborhood due to less financial security as only the husband works on one hand the mother is doing her best to raise good kids but on the other side you have bad children influencing behaviour 

Overall, a very tough question to answer