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In the Name of God بسم الله
ali_fatheroforphans

The Dream Women - In my opinion

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2 minutes ago, notme said:

Are you trying to start something?

No, not 2Timidly . . . whomever spoke the first vocal-volley in this Eternal Battle did.

 

Truthfull note: l mis-typed 2Timeless' name and then decided to continue with the error + ly.

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On 10/12/2019 at 6:50 PM, 2Timeless said:

Women never feel challenged, because they don't have massive fragile egos like our dear brothers do...

I find that more women are confused, unhappy and lack that self-worth. The fact is that we don't need a man-made ideology to feel empowered. Men enjoy (and have always enjoyed) being men and don't need to seek some sort of validation from every Tom, Dick and Harry.

:D

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3 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

The fact is that we don't need a man-made ideology to feel empowered. Men enjoy (and have always enjoyed) being men and don't need to seek some sort of validation from every Tom, Dick and Harry.

Enjoyment is subjective and most men seek validation through their father, brothers, friends, etc., so we aren't as dissimilar as you might think. 

 Now this may sound controversial and I am not trying to blasphemous but even sharia can be deemed as a "man-made ideology", just look at the numerous madhabs within Islam and how each one tries to represent themselves as "true ". 

On feminism , I'm not a feminist but men really do destroy women's self-worth and confidence in some of the worst ways possible.

If men weren't so apt to consume porn and what the media tells to expect from women, maybe women wouldn't be so confused and under tremendous pressure to abide by unrealistic expectations from society.

Edited by Gaius I. Caesar

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19 hours ago, RUKS said:

Braaaah chilllll!!!! I'll tell you one quality that will make every man the dream man! Being a billionaire.

I know I wrote just that in the previous gender disunity thread. However, its proved that for a woman to not abuse her power of speech is just as difficult for a man today to become a billionaire. In lieu of that, I propose ONE quality a man should have to be able to live happily with ANY woman:

- He should be deaf.

But while the deaf man will be able to survive a marriage I am pretty sure he will not find any woman who will marry him. Doubtful even if he is a deaf billionaire.

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.

42 minutes ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

If men weren't so apt to consume porn and what the media tells to expect from women, maybe women wouldn't be so confused and under tremendous pressure to abide by unrealistic expectations from society.

It's not entirely about us consuming porn as much as it's about our willingness to admit that it's harmful and destructive for society. Even if men are addicted to this drug, it doesn't stop them from speaking out against it. The problem is those sneaky men who appear to be 'open-minded'. Society seems to praise those men who encourage women to dress in an immodest way (or in whatever way they want). Apparently these guys don't want to restrict any girl's freedom. Society will delude us into think that they are respectful. However, feminists don't realise the fact that these guys are selfish and only care about themselves. It's when you hype someone up and raise their confidence only for selfish motives. 

Women don't need to turn to anyone to have a sense of self-worth. It doesn't matter what men say. It doesn't even matter what religious men say. The fact is that our sisters have amazing role-models to look up to! If a guy says something stupid, it shouldn't matter to a girl because she should know her self-worth. True confidence will come when women enjoy being themselves. I've observed some very confident women in our communities. There are those women who serve Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام) and have done so much for the community. I find that they enjoy their femininity. In a society where women have immense pressure to dress in an immodest way, there are those who walk around in an abaya not caring about what others think of them. If this isn't confidence, then what is?

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1 hour ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

but men really do destroy women's self-worth and confidence in some of the worst ways possible.

l do not entirely agree with this wording, but what l do think is that there is a lot of pick-on-the-women done by a lot of groups: some societies, people -including other women- who want to be in every woman's doctor's office, and the like.

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3 hours ago, Darth Vader said:

I know I wrote just that in the previous gender disunity thread. However, its proved that for a woman to not abuse her power of speech is just as difficult for a man today to become a billionaire. In lieu of that, I propose ONE quality a man should have to be able to live happily with ANY woman:

- He should be deaf.

But while the deaf man will be able to survive a marriage I am pretty sure he will not find any woman who will marry him. Doubtful even if he is a deaf 

Yhyh (facepalm) - ya rab please help Darth vader navigate the horrible injustice he faces on a daily basis dealing with women's power of speech. I am so sorry you have to deal with that, I will pray everyday God will keep you strong. So sad. Guys please remember Darth vader in your prayers. 

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On 10/12/2019 at 7:50 PM, notme said:

picard-facepalm.jpg

Are you trying to start something?

They already started that 'something' by having fragile egos.

@ali_fatheroforphans I mean, the whole thread goes to show how fragile the poor old male ego is.

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22 hours ago, hasanhh said:

How about someone starting a thread about "what is wrong with women"?

@2Timeless I gotta admit this brother started it.

I have to give it to you this time! Well played! You managed your troops very well in this thread. 

Edited by ali_fatheroforphans

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2 hours ago, Muslimthought97 said:

Man thats quite a list, here's my list for a dream woman:

1) A woman who dosent have a list for me like the one in the OP

If condition 1 is fulfilled then I'm all good :D

Lol 

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On 10/11/2019 at 11:29 PM, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam, 

I just feel this would be a nice thread to start where men share their perspectives on their "dream women". This thread is coming from someone who lives in the West. My opinion is subjective and could be as a result of so many different things. I just want to be honest. If I'm thinking in an incorrect or unrealistic way, someone please correct me. Also I'm setting this high standard even though I'm far from it myself. It really motivates me to improve myself. 

1. She should wear a proper hijab (even an abaya or a chador is good). Modesty is so damn attractive I have to be honest. 

2. Looks decent (not a model or anything to be honest).

3. Very passionate about Muharram and has the desire to go to the Shrines of our Imams (عليه السلام) etc.

4. Has some basic interest in seeking Islamic knowledge (Islamic sciences). I don't expect a super super knowledgeable sister but someone who has the thirst for Islamic knowledge.

5. Doesn't try to compromise on religious values to impress people in society. She should love being a true follower of the Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام)

6. Accepts the unique responsibilities Islam gives to men and women. Like she should happily fulfill her responsibilities in marriage.

7. Very confident yet humble. Girls who are able to stand up for themselves and speak out if they are wronged.

8. They must be rational to some extent, like they shouldn't talk in an emotional way. Wisdom is so attractive! Girls who carefully evaluate every situation and say stuff which makes sense.

9. She must have a close bond with her parents (or be family-oriented). Also she must treat her parents with respect. 

10. She must be extremely passionate about raising pious children. Like even before you get to know her, it should be her number one concern. 

11. She must be entertaining to some extent and someone who can have banter at times.

12. She must be willing to create a religious environment at home by her willingness to recite dua kumayl with family etc.

13. She has a passion to study at hawza with her husband maybe some time in the future.

14. She really understands the danger of some aspects of the Western culture (like hollywood and the music industry).

15. She loves to discuss religion and has the capacity to have intellectual discussions.

16. She shows her soft emotional side.

17. She should love taking her kids to the mosque and community events. Like a girl who loves keeping in touch with the Shia community.
 

 

On 10/12/2019 at 12:33 AM, ali_fatheroforphans said:

All the other sisters have made it seem as if I'm living in a fairy world. Your silence speaks! Cheers! I'm glad someone feels that the list is realistic.

Did you say 'fairy world'? Lol

By the way, your requirements/demands are realistic, excluding, "She has a passion to study at hawza with her husband.."

Everything else, is real. I do believe, there are many females (Shia) that have those traits. To assume other wise is illogical.

Edited by ShiaMahamed

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Guest Monad

either you are naive or very foolish. Naivity can be fixed with some advice, Foolishness takes a long time to fix.

What purpose did you hope to attain from such a post?. I Hope you did not want some females to throw them selves at you and claim they fit that criteria. If wanting some validation whether your list is reasonable from a female perspective. That was already an attempt at failure. Women, just like men vary in there assumptions and women out of fear of falling out from the herd, won't agree if the statement is correct.

If you have a list so does a female. Now how will both of you reconcile both your lists?. if both of you tick all the boxes, but some way a long the line, the ideas change and boxes are erased what will both of you do?. divorce or compromise and figure out a new solution?

A better goal would be to figure out how you can find A woman you like, if she reciprocate then you can discuss your list with her. 

Figure this out. Find one in the 6 months. No excuses off I am a graduate, I don;'t earn enough blah blah, if non-Muslims can do it, then why cannot Muslims?.

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15 hours ago, Guest Monad said:

. I Hope you did not want some females to throw them selves at you and claim they fit that criteria

LOL this is gold 

15 hours ago, Guest Monad said:

If you have a list so does a female. Now how will both of you reconcile both your lists?. if both of you tick all the boxes, but some way a long the line, the ideas change and boxes are erased what will both of you do?. divorce or compromise and figure out a new solution?

Apparently, for many men, the obvious solution in such cases is to marry a new wife who fits the new secret list the first wife isn't aware of, just like she wasn't aware of an initial do or die list. 

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On 10/22/2019 at 3:41 AM, Guest Monad said:

I Hope you did not want some females to throw them selves at you and claim they fit that criteria.

Well I definitely didn't want you to throw yourself at me and comment. 

On 10/22/2019 at 3:41 AM, Guest Monad said:

What purpose did you hope to attain from such a post?

You chose to answer the question yourself below :confused: :

On 10/22/2019 at 3:41 AM, Guest Monad said:

wanting some validation whether your list is reasonable from a female perspective

 

On 10/22/2019 at 3:41 AM, Guest Monad said:

females to throw them selves at you and claim they fit that criteria.

 

On 10/22/2019 at 3:41 AM, Guest Monad said:

A better goal would be to figure out how you can find A woman you like, if she reciprocate then you can discuss your list with her. 

brother you don't know what's going on in my life lol. Your not saying anything new. Your comment in general seems very very forced. I know you enjoyed writing this post, but:

On 10/22/2019 at 3:41 AM, Guest Monad said:

attempt at failure

 

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