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In the Name of God بسم الله
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RepentantServant

You & God

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42 minutes ago, RepentantServant said:

My post is for anyone who can relate. I’m just curious to know if other people have felt the same way or similarly. I’m not really going through anything major alhamd. But I don't know, I’ve just been feeling some type of way lately & I wanted to vent a little bit. 

Do you ever feel overwhelmed sometimes, sinful, some what procrastinating your prayers, & your entire spiritual life just off, usually because of a lot of sinning? And that sinning stemming from giving into your desires? Do you ever feel like its so difficult to control your desires & your sinning? Do you ever feel like that when you look deep down into yourself, that you realize you’re so vulnerable to sin & you easily give into sin like its almost normal, and you start feeling kind of sorry for yourself? Especially when you know you can be flying high in spirituality & have the opportunity to get much much closer to your Lord? 

Do you ever just sit there in the presence of your Lord, during prayer time, & you just cry & cry? And when you do cry, do you find yourself not knowing what to say to your Lord because there is so much commotion going on in your head, that you just don’t know what to say? So instead, you just let your silence become your dua? I have found myself doing this a lot lately. I just sit there in the presence of Allah on my prayer mat & not really say anything but just cry. 

Sometimes my dua is complete silence because I can’t articulate what’s deep within my heart. 

Praise be to the One who understands the language of the heart. 

 

This is something every Muslim goes through, believe me.

We are all on a journey be it our spirituality, mentality, physical well-being, and perhaps all those together. But Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) light is always there, and its always shining. Its good to feel that guilt, once its gone... maybe it will never come back. Guilt is a form of emotion that lets us know and grounds us to who we really are, humans... sinners. Keep praying, cry silently or loudly, do as you wish. He is your lord, and he's hearing you. And that is a very beautiful moment in itself. So sincere. Peaceful. You don’t feel so alone when you talk to Him. You feel the presence.

He understands us like no body else...

I completely understand you... And I know it and feel that it wont always be like this. Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear. Hold on to the rope we have been so blessed with.  

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9 hours ago, RepentantServant said:

My post is for anyone who can relate. I’m just curious to know if other people have felt the same way or similarly. I’m not really going through anything major alhamd. But I don't know, I’ve just been feeling some type of way lately & I wanted to vent a little bit. 

Do you ever feel overwhelmed sometimes, sinful, some what procrastinating your prayers, & your entire spiritual life just off, usually because of a lot of sinning? And that sinning stemming from giving into your desires? Do you ever feel like its so difficult to control your desires & your sinning? Do you ever feel like that when you look deep down into yourself, that you realize you’re so vulnerable to sin & you easily give into sin like its almost normal, and you start feeling kind of sorry for yourself? Especially when you know you can be flying high in spirituality & have the opportunity to get much much closer to your Lord? 

Do you ever just sit there in the presence of your Lord, during prayer time, & you just cry & cry? And when you do cry, do you find yourself not knowing what to say to your Lord because there is so much commotion going on in your head, that you just don’t know what to say? So instead, you just let your silence become your dua? I have found myself doing this a lot lately. I just sit there in the presence of Allah on my prayer mat & not really say anything but just cry. 

Sometimes my dua is complete silence because I can’t articulate what’s deep within my heart. 

Praise be to the One who understands the language of the heart. 

 

Subhanallah brother loved reading your post!!! Especially around the end!!!

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Sinning while knowing what the right thing to do is what hurts the most for me. We are blessed with the know-how but we need just apply it in our lives'. May Allah strengthen our spirituality and resolve in such matters. 

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