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In the Name of God بسم الله

Mini rant - Why can men not control themselves?

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2Timeless

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24 minutes ago, starlight said:

If women were getting stronger and assertive men should have upped their game and showed them who's in charge..

Men try to do that all the time but we get volleys of abuse, as we got in this very thread, telling us to mind our business and stay out of women's issues.

But women's issues are men's issues because we are the direct victims of the "strong" and "independent" woman syndrome.

Whenever a man points out female follies the whole womankind turns into a pack of bloodthirsty hags out to destroy whatever little has been left of our traditional masculinity.

We are weak and pathetic if we surrender and patriarchal and oppressive if we assert.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

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2 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

Because they married weak little dimwits who were raised that way by the biggest influence in their life - their fathers who were the exact same. 

It is well established that mothers have the greatest influence on children. Fathers are there just as an accessory, a guy who brings home money and pays the bills. The rest is all up to mothers.

If boys grow up to be weak little dimiwits, it is mothers who need to answer. 

Quote

I don’t understand what you find so repulsive about a woman getting educated and earning her own money instead of acting like a damsel in distress waiting for the tiny scraps her egotistical husband would throw at her. 

Takeaway meals and restaurants have destroyed families.

Why?

Because the "strong" and "independent" working woman is too busy making money she doesn't need.

In every paycheck her kid's future is buried.

Often women can't even cook, and a woman who doesn't cook is a blot on the name of womanity.

You end up raising junkies if you feed junk to young kids.

So I ask, where are the "real" women?

What happened to the obedient, submissive, agreeable, pliable, innocent, gentle, weak, timid women who made the best mother and best wives?

Where are those great women who called their husbands masters & considered them God's vicegerent on Earth?

Where are the true women who would take the gentle miswak-beating without uttering an uff?

Find me "real" women and I'll find you "real" men.

 

Edited by Marbles
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40 minutes ago, Marbles said:

It is well established that mothers have the greatest influence on children. Fathers are there just as an accessory, a guy who brings home money and pays the bills. The rest is all up to mothers.

If boys grow up to be weak little dimiwits, it is mothers who need to answer. 

Takeaway meals and restaurants have destroyed families.

Why?

Because the "strong" and "independent" working woman is too busy making money she doesn't need.

In every paycheck her kid's future is buried.

Often women can't even cook, and a woman who doesn't cook is a blot on the name of womanity.

You end up raising junkies if you feed junk to young kids.

So I ask, where are the "real" women?

What happened to the obedient, submissive, agreeable, pliable, innocent, gentle, weak, timid women who made the best mother and best wives?

Where are those great women who called their husbands masters & considered them God's vicegerent on Earth?

Where are the true women who would take the gentle miswak-beating without uttering an uff?

Find me "real" women and I'll find you "real" men.

 

****WARNING****

****WARNING**** Mr. ANDERSON

>>>>NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED<<<<

PLANET Earth WILL BE DESTROYED IN 3, 2, 1....

 

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4 hours ago, Marbles said:

Both genders compliment each other. When traditional gender roles are abandoned and thrown into disarray, it has an effect on how each gender relate to themselves and to the world. 

It was the men who abandoned being the head of the household first, forcing the women, who tend to be more conscientious and cooperative, to step up and fill the role.

Men: going to work and earning money is not enough, especially if your wife works for a paycheck too. You men need to actively participate in the running of the household. Your wife ain't your slave and the raising of those children is your responsibility too.

Edited by notme
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:hahaha: "Where is @Carlzone ? She knows how to 'thread fight'. She never struck me as a dopey-dame whose heroine is that hokey "Blunder Broad" played by Lynda Carter [to this day, l do not understand how my father liked that stupid program]. She is a lot better at this than the sisters above."

To summarize a few observations:

8 hours ago, notme said:

Amen sista. I would say these males are not deserving of the label "men". Men are the stronger protectors of women, not the ones who degrade and criticize women without first ensuring their own perfection.

^^^Please notice, that a sister insists on some undefined 'perfection'.

7 hours ago, Propaganda_of_the_Deed said:

CzlI2_.gif

 

AncientBelovedGoa-size_restricted.gif

Poor guy. He looks like his "brilliant wife" put gasoline in with the lawnmower's motor oil.[Yep, this has happened.]  

Now for some boldface comments:

6 hours ago, Ali~J said:

Well I'm a guy, so I guess I should start by saying sorry? Idrk...  You never, ever apologize --it's a sign of surrender to a gurl. 

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When God brings me to the girl that is destined for me I will genuinely treat her with the utmost respect and love that she deserves..     Ayat 64:14 

But until then... lt is Hell-on-Earth

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Sometimes I just think . . . but I will meet that girl of my dreams... Beats me...  :threatenlumber:"This reads like you need one!"

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6 hours ago, habib e najjaar said:

Sigh.. monday blues eh?

:mod: a topic like this cannot be opened without popcorn for the rest of us. How hard is it to follow the rules?! :einstein:

"The rules" are subject to change at any time when gurls are involved.

6 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

That's the thing. Why can't men just refrain from talking to women? It's not that hard.

Because the average Nagatha [Nag + Agatha] won't keep quiet. Worse than a dog: yap . . . yap . . . yap . . .(or) howl.

3 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

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I don’t understand what you find so repulsive about a woman getting educated and earning her own money instead of acting like a damsel in distress waiting for the tiny scraps her egotistical husband would throw at her. 

l don't. lf women get a job, then they accumulate some of that money they are always wasting.

 

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12 minutes ago, hasanhh said:

Please notice, that a sister insists on some undefined 'perfection'.

You've misunderstood. I'm saying before men demand perfection of women, they need to look at themselves. Nobody is perfect.

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I think part of the problem with married people is that today money is never enough. It used to be. But not anymore. I remember last wheat harvest when I was done filling up our little wheat silos I told my wife "There, all the bread you can eat for the next two years". I smiled and she gave me the death stare. *shrug*

Have enough money and you are a real man. All women need.

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2 minutes ago, notme said:

I'm saying before men demand perfection of women,

"Perfection" is not the correct word. From all the complaining l have heard over the decades, "practicality" is a big one. Over decorating is another. Then, he can't have anything in the house that is left to himself --even the garage a lot of times. 

This is rare, but l have known and known-of guys who rent garages (because they do not have parents or relatives close by) where they can listen to the radio while they worked on their cars, or whatever.

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8 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

Why can men not control themselves and please get their minds off of women and focus on things that will help them grow physically, mentally and emotionally? I'm honestly so sick and tired of men co continuously obsessing over everything women do or say. Its sickening to see that our brothers find it hard to function on a daily basis without thinking about women and how they can either use or abuse them. 

Obviously, I'm not talking about all men. Alot of people are gentlemen who really have gheera for all women. But there is a portion of Muslim men who will always find away to make women the centre of their conversation and behaviour. And I've seen this coming from young and old men, all of various backgrounds. Its extremely annoying and never ends. As for those men who make it their lifes purpose to criticise and insult women (with absolutely no backing) then all I can say is, that they are not even a fraction of what a real man is supposed to be. 

salam

I don’t really understand what exactly is your issue ? do you have problem with men talking and thinking about women/girls with their guy friends? or is it men just verbally or physcially harassing or abusing women like at work or street or anywhere like catcalling them flirting with them? which I think is totally wrong ,

men will always make women center of attention thats how just its is I read an article of an phd doctor of psychology about mens behaviour regarding thinking about women or and why they cannot control themselves it actulally has todo with testosterone talking about girls will always be there and all men are like that as dude thats my life experience with spending my whole life with mostly guy friends even uncles when they get together the conversation starts about women at some point ,Salam

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 I want to see the look on @hasanhh 's face when in heaven they give him dozens of wives and he realizes he is going to be nagged by them all the time and for all eternities with no escape wherever he goes. Yes that's not very healthy to think but I would like to see anyway. Maybe he will change then.

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3 minutes ago, Darth Vader said:

 I want to see the look on @hasanhh 's face when in heaven they give him dozens of wives and he realizes he is going to be nagged by them all the time and for all eternities with no escape wherever he goes. Yes that's not very healthy to think but I would like to see anyway. Maybe he will change then.

That ain't Heaven, that's Hell.

Besides, l will be perfectly content with one, mute houri.

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29 minutes ago, Qasim-Raza said:

salam

I don’t really understand what exactly is your issue ?

Obviously, you are a young guy. Hebetude is a standard w.o.men's tactic, to infect your brain with hebetate (pronounced hee-bee-tah-teh).

In short, since it is designed to mess with your head, you get all obtused because you cannot make sense out of anything she says.

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It only seems this way in your 20s and teens I think. Men in their 30s or even late 20s catch up to women in maturity and then there is no difference in my experience... 30 and up, majority of men and women are mature, except maybe 10% of men and 10% of women who will never grow up... Also, most people are not perfect and you have to accept that (and also realize you are not perfect).

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https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/evolution-the-self/200904/the-testosterone-curse-part-1 this is a good old article that mite help learn about mens behaviour regarding"obession with women" or why men are dominant its all testosterone basically, there is one more point I would like to point out women are naturally submissive and men are naturally dominant ,you can ask women they always want men who are tall strong masculine and you can ask any men they like women who is feminine there are ton of researches and articles on it ...men are just always going to be dominant and masculine not only because thats the way they are also women are attractive to it .

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Also, keep in mind that testosterone peaks for men in their Teens and 20s and then goes down. Once they can think past their hormones, it helps them mature up. It is similar for women. You see women having drama in MSAs at uni because they all want to marry the same 3 guys haha 

Then once they're all married, they realize how childish and hormonal they were being.

Don't think women are excluded from this behavior, they just show it in different more subtle ways 

Edited by Pumpkin
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19 minutes ago, Pumpkin said:

It only seems this way in your 20s and teens I think. Men in their 30s or even late 20s catch up to women in maturity and then there is no difference in my experience... 30 and up, majority of men and women are mature, except maybe 10% of men and 10% of women who will never grow up... Also, most people are not perfect and you have to accept that (and also realize you are not perfect).

Off-Thread, but in the back-when Army we were taught that most people do not 'out grow' high school. Currently l think, after a couple of generations of 'helicopter moms', 'participation trophies', 'juvenile rights' and so on, l think that most do not out grow junior high -especially the boys.

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10 minutes ago, hasanhh said:

Off-Thread, but in the back-when Army we were taught that most people do not 'out grow' high school. Currently l think, after a couple of generations of 'helicopter moms', 'participation trophies', 'juvenile rights' and so on, l think that most do not out grow junior high -especially the boys.

Eh I disagree but I guess it depends on one's bubble lol 

I like to give men more credit and just call the lone bums, lone bums rather than call the whole sex bums... All humans are selfish anyway... Has nothing to do with sex/gender.

Edited by Pumpkin
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5 minutes ago, Pumpkin said:

Eh I disagree but I guess it depends on one's bubble lol 

I like to give men more credit and just call the lone ................................................................................... All humans are selfish anyway... Has nothing to do with sex/gender.

Quick, EDIT your post, unacceptable language.

Edited by hasanhh
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3 minutes ago, hasanhh said:

Quick, EDIT your post, unacceptable language.

Oh geez, thanks... Didn't realize I wasn't supposed to say that word..... Mind editing your post of my quote? Haha 

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3 hours ago, Marbles said:

Because the "strong" and "independent" working woman is too busy making money she doesn't need.

In every paycheck her kid's future is buried.

Excuse me Mr..Marbles, these days her paycheck goes towards the affording the fee and lifestyle that comes with a heavy fee paying schooling system, into college funds, towards buying that second car and generally financing that disposable income lifestyle that men get used to so quickly. 

 

1 hour ago, Darth Vader said:

I remember last wheat harvest when I was done filling up our little wheat silos I told my wife "There, all the bread you can eat for the next two years". I smiled and she gave me the death stare. *shrug*

:hahaha::hahaha:  DV you should really think about writing a short book or maybe start a blog, MashAllah you write so freely and your posts are very refreshing and enjoyable.

1 hour ago, Darth Vader said:

Have enough money and you are a real man.

Its not money, it lack of gratitude and contentment on both sides.

39 minutes ago, Pumpkin said:

Then once they're all married, they realize how childish and hormonal they were being.

Marriage has little role in this. Those who are pervert will stay pervert regardless of their age and marital status.

Case in point, from 2 days ago. 

https://images.dawn.com/news/1183742

Quote

 

A video emerged on social media on Thursday showing a woman irately slapping an old man and asking him to apologise on a bus travelling from Multan to Islamabad.

The man had allegedly been surreptitiously touching the woman for nearly six hours, and his actions only came to light when he attempted to remove her dupatta from her back and grab her body by force.

 

 

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14 minutes ago, starlight said:

 

Marriage has little role in this. Those who are pervert will stay pervert regardless of their age and marital status.

Case in point, from 2 days ago. 

https://images.dawn.com/news/1183742

 

I can name dozens of examples of men I know who never acted like this. The news will always sensationalize and try to write stories that get clicks...

Did your male teachers act disrespectful to you? Did your father? Did your uncle? Did the male bus driver or train conductor act disrespectful to you? Did EVERY male you met at school and uni disrespect you? I get cat called too, but it's less than 1% of the men I come across. I've had 4 male bosses and none of them were pervy or rude to me or my female colleagues. I've had male professors at uni who fight for women's rights.

Sure 10% of men are trash but so are 10% of women.

I had a female boss who screwed me over. I had a female professor not care about me when I was going through a hard time personally and not doing well academically. I've had a female friend stab me in the back... But most women I know are good and most men I know are good. If that is not your experience, then perhaps it's time to change your environment. Maybe move to a different town or country. Easier said than done but I find that location really matters.

 

Btw, I was saying that marriage changes women. I know many women who would act rude to other sisters who were interested in the same man as they were for marriage and once these sisters got married, they were magically so much nicer.... They had a need fulfillled via marriage for male companionship and it helped them mature lol

Edited by Pumpkin
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2 hours ago, hasanhh said:

Where is @Carlzone ? She knows how to 'thread fight'. She never struck me as a dopey-dame whose heroine is that hokey "Blunder Broad" played by Lynda Carter [to this day, l do not understand how my father liked that stupid program]. She is a lot better at this than the sisters above."

SIR, YES SIR! 

@Carlzone IS BUSY... SHES A MARRIED WOMAN NOW WHICH MEANS THAT SHES DOING EVERYTHING A MAN can’t DO! 

SHE IS LIVING UP TO THE WORDS THAT YOU MALE BREEDS ARE COMMENTING ABOUT FEMALES HERE!

YOU LOSE POINTS!

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10 minutes ago, Pumpkin said:

Did your father? Did your uncle?

Father or Uncle ??? What??? 

 

11 minutes ago, Pumpkin said:

Did your male teachers act disrespectful to you?

I don't have enough fingers to count the number of teachers hitting upon students. 

13 minutes ago, Pumpkin said:

Maybe move to a different town or country. Easier said than done but I find that location really matters 10% of men are trash but so are 10% of women.

I don't think you know men. Men are designed to stare at women. They do it by default. That's why Allah tells men to lower their gaze and women to cover up. Very few men have the self control. 

12 minutes ago, Pumpkin said:

I had a female boss who screwed me over. I had a female professor not care about me when I was going through a hard time personally and not doing well academically. I've had a female friend stab me in the back...

I am very sorry you have had such bad experiences with women. 

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6 minutes ago, starlight said:

Father or Uncle ??? What??? 

-I was talking about general direspect, not perviness-

I don't have enough fingers to count the number of teachers hitting upon students. 

I don't think you know men. Men are designed to stare at women. They do it by default. That's why Allah tells men to lower their gaze and women to cover up. Very few men have the self control. 

I am very sorry you have had such bad experiences with women. 

And I'm sorry you've had such bad experience with men. They can and should control themselves. They are capable. Don't get me wrong, I know men can be pervy or generally disrespectful, but if you expect the worst of people you will only see the worst of people. 

Let's not forget that the Imams and Prophets (عليه السلام) were all men. 

It's like saying that there can't exist a woman who does not gossip. 

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