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In the Name of God بسم الله
Jannat786

Is it okay to go against an istekhara?

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Assalamalykum,

So I find myself in a very difficult situation and I feel like I know what I have to do but a few months back an istekhara was taken out, not by me but my someone else who is also tied to this decision and the istekhara was good. Bear in my mind that I had not taken out this istekhara and I did not even know that this person was taking out an istekhara, this person did not consult me but just went ahead and got the istekhara done and then told me about the results. I know what decision I want to make but this istekhara is just making me hesitant. Is it okay to go against it? 

JazakAllah 

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9 hours ago, Jannat786 said:

Assalamalykum,

So I find myself in a very difficult situation and I feel like I know what I have to do but a few months back an istekhara was taken out, not by me but my someone else who is also tied to this decision and the istekhara was good. Bear in my mind that I had not taken out this istekhara and I did not even know that this person was taking out an istekhara, this person did not consult me but just went ahead and got the istekhara done and then told me about the results. I know what decision I want to make but this istekhara is just making me hesitant. Is it okay to go against it? 

JazakAllah 

Yes you can.

Ive had a proposal where they came over and said the istikhara is really really good, and we made an istikhara too it also came out good, but a few weeks later, we found out he wasn't such a good person, admittedly from himself, and it ended.

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8 hours ago, Ruqaya101 said:

Yes you can.

Ive had a proposal where they came over and said the istikhara is really really good, and we made an istikhara too it also came out good, but a few weeks later, we found out he wasn't such a good person, admittedly from himself, and it ended.

Kinda in a similar situation. Is it okay if I can send you a private message about this? 

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salam alaykum wrwb,

@ the end it all boils down to causal effects. You are looking to cause an effect that has been determined. The trick would be Allah((سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى))'s will over ours.

ws

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8 hours ago, Ruqaya101 said:

Yes you can.

Ive had a proposal where they came over and said the istikhara is really really good, and we made an istikhara too it also came out good, but a few weeks later, we found out he wasn't such a good person, admittedly from himself, and it ended.

Could you share more details? Who carried them out, did this man confess out of remorse? And how is this man today? I'm curious if the Kheera was good but it ends up being something like "Yes he's good, but he only blossoms into a good person years from now".

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4 minutes ago, Guest window said:

Could you share more details? Who carried them out, did this man confess out of remorse? And how is this man today? I'm curious if the Kheera was good but it ends up being something like "Yes he's good, but he only blossoms into a good person years from now".

yeah of course.

so the family had done the kheera in the presence of a sheikh. and it said it was very very good like successful marriage, good finance. No he did not confess out of remorse, actually we opened the subject with him. Im not sure how he is. 

This wasn't the only proposal id gotten with a good kheera and it didnt end up working. 

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My mom got an Istekhareh from her local sheikh for her marriage with my dad and it said that it would be good. The sheikh personally vouched for my dad because of how religious/good character my dad was, but in reality my dad just carefully built an image. My mom's family investigated my dad and his family in the neighborhood as well. Turned out my dad was every type of abuser possible (financial, physical, emotional) and so was his family (my mom later found proof they also were practioners of witchcraft against my mom). Now, my mom personally believes that not every sheikh is capable of providing reliable Istekhareh. 

Edited by Lilly14

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6 hours ago, Jannat786 said:

Assalamalykum,

So I find myself in a very difficult situation and I feel like I know what I have to do but a few months back an istekhara was taken out, not by me but my someone else who is also tied to this decision and the istekhara was good. Bear in my mind that I had not taken out this istekhara and I did not even know that this person was taking out an istekhara, this person did not consult me but just went ahead and got the istekhara done and then told me about the results. I know what decision I want to make but this istekhara is just making me hesitant. Is it okay to go against it? 

JazakAllah 

Question: I am a girl who has received many proposals for marriage but each time my father has done istikhara and it came out "bad". What should I do? Should I keep waiting until the istikhara comes out "good"?

Answer: The woman and her guardians should give importance to the qualities of the man she chooses to marry. She should not marry except a man who is religious, chaste, of good character, not a drunkard or someone who commits sins and evil deeds. It is better not to reject the proposition of a man who is religious and of good character. The Prophet has said, “When a man whose religion and character pleases you comes to you [with a proposition], then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be chaos and a great corruption in the world.” It is not good to rely on istikhara when he/she can do research about the character and background of someone who comes with a proposal.

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47 minutes ago, Lilly14 said:

My mom got an Istekhareh from her local sheikh for her marriage with my dad and it said that it would be good. The sheikh personally vouched for my dad because of how religious/good character my dad was, but in reality my dad just carefully built an image. My mom's family investigated my dad and his family in the neighborhood as well. Turned out my dad was every type of abuser possible (financial, physical, emotional) and so was his family (my mom later found proof they also were practioners of witchcraft against my mom). Now, my mom personally believes that not every sheikh is capable of providing reliable Istekhareh. 

Once you do an istekhara, you must agree that there is khayr/good in what Allah chooses for you. Sometimes we look at istikhara as "best choice for me/magic match maker" etc.. but the reality of istikhara is to seek Allah 's counsel in directing you to what is best for you. A bad marriage may be an apparent "shar/bad" but a greater khayr e.g your being born. 

If we suppose for example an istikhara would have been taken for lady Asiyah to get married to the pharoah, it could be apparently terrible, but look at the khayr that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) had planned for her to be a part of while in the clutches of a despotic tyrant.

That being said, I do think for the most part, yes/no istikharas for marriage are misplaced. One should look/deal with the apparent, then do an istikhara to back up a decision already made e.g the 2 rakat one taught by Imam Ali (عليه السلام) which does not give you an "answer" but which will inshaAllah guide you towards that which Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) knows is khayr for you. Note, an istikhara should NOT be taken as a divination of the future.

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