Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sumerian

"Fragile" masculinity

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

9 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

pursuing a career that is feminine

I feel like the world is better off with some male and some female nurses. Wouldn't a man prefer to be cared for by a male nurse?

Which other careers are "feminine"? Elementary school teacher? (The male teachers that my kids have had were excellent.) Beautician? What careers do you think men should avoid?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

Housework is okay, every man mows the lawn or fixes globes in the house or fixes leaks in the piping or cleans the pool or cleans the gutter/roof etc..

And even cooking and cleaning, it is not inherently feminine, it has just been seen as a "woman's thing" because women tend to be better at it and used to stay in the house because men were breadwinners. But there is no issue with a man cleaning or cooking every now and then, especially if his wife is sick or pregnant or unavailable.

But yes, a man should avoid anything that is clearly feminine in nature. Like wearing women's clothes, talking like a woman, walking like a woman, and yes, even pursuing a career that is feminine or being into girly movies and stuff like that. That's normal lol

I'm not saying he should override his personal preferences or subject himself to social riddicule. I'm saying if he likes being a nurse or teacher (pink collar jobs)  or watching a drama TV show that women tend to like, so be it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, notme said:

I feel like the world is better off with some male and some female nurses. Wouldn't a man prefer to be cared for by a male nurse?

Which other careers are "feminine"? Elementary school teacher? (The male teachers that my kids have had were excellent.) Beautician? What careers do you think men should avoid?

- Beautician.

- Womens health related work as well, actually a man should avoid any work that would involve touching a woman.

- Babysitter.

12 minutes ago, Lilly14 said:

I'm not saying he should override his personal preferences or subject himself to social riddicule. I'm saying if he likes being a nurse or teacher (pink collar jobs)  or watching a drama TV show that women tend to like, so be it.

Would you be okay with a boy watching barbie and disney princesses and girly cartoons?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Sumerian said:

Babysitter

Disagree with this one, especially if the child being cared for is preschool age or older! Children, boys and girls but mostly boys, need to have male and female caregivers as role models.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, notme said:

Disagree with this one, especially if the child being cared for is preschool age or older! Children, boys and girls but mostly boys, need to have male and female caregivers as role models.

That's the father's job. I'm saying babysitter as a career pursued by a guy - as in going to different homes and taking care of kids - that's a weird job for a guy. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Sumerian said:

That's the father's job. I'm saying babysitter as a career pursued by a guy - as in going to different homes and taking care of kids - that's a weird job for a guy. 

It is unusual, but especially single moms with sons might appreciate the male presence in her child's life.

I've only met a two male childcare providers, but both of those guys were perfectly masculine and also very good with the children. The reason men don't go into early childhood development is because it's one of the lowest paying professional careers, but I still disagree with your assertion that they shouldn't. If a man likes working with children, he shouldn't be humiliated by other men for it, and he certainly shouldn't avoid doing work that he loves out of fear of what other guys might think.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

Would you be okay with a boy watching barbie and disney princesses and girly cartoons?

When I was a kid, cartoons didn't have a gender.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, notme said:

It is unusual, but especially single moms with sons might appreciate the male presence in her child's life.

I've only met a two male childcare providers, but both of those guys were perfectly masculine and also very good with the children. The reason men don't go into early childhood development is because it's one of the lowest paying professional careers, but I still disagree with your assertion that they shouldn't. If a man likes working with children, he shouldn't be humiliated by other men for it, and he certainly shouldn't avoid doing work that he loves out of fear of what other guys might think.

The real reason is because men aren't psychologically connected to such jobs. It's a fact that men inherently go into fields that are more into things - why men are better at engineering type fields, while women are better at jobs which involve nurturing and caring for people. Men simply aren't as good as women in nurturing and raising kids. 

15 minutes ago, notme said:

When I was a kid, cartoons didn't have a gender.

That's very strange. Toys, cartoons, movies - all had a gender in my upbringing. While my older sister had dolls and teddy bears when she was growing up, me and my brother had toy trucks and video games lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

That's very strange. Toys, cartoons, movies - all had a gender in my upbringing. While my older sister had dolls and teddy bears when she was growing up, me and my brother had toy trucks and video games lol.

It seems strange to me that things have gender. If everything is either strictly for males or strictly for females, how in the world are husbands and wives supposed to enjoy anything together, or even relate to reach other.

Girls have always played with dolls, but the strict gendering of all objects and activities is a new cultural phenomenon. It came along with and may be related to increases in sexual deviance.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, notme said:

It seems strange to me that things have gender. If everything is either strictly for males or strictly for females, how in the world are husbands and wives supposed to enjoy anything together, or even relate to reach other.

How so? How would this hinder a relationship? How would this stop them from relating to each other? And not everything is male or female, many things are gender neutral. lol

15 minutes ago, notme said:

Girls have always played with dolls, but the strict gendering of all objects and activities is a new cultural phenomenon. It came along with and may be related to increases in sexual deviance.

You don't think a boy would move towards a toy truck rather than a barbie doll if left to choose on his own without outside influence?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 minutes ago, Sumerian said:
37 minutes ago, notme said:

 

You don't think a boy would move towards a toy truck rather than a barbie doll if left to choose on his own without outside influence?

Studies have shown that they will. I never said they won't. But why do TV shows, board games, and building and puzzle toys have gender? Why is, for example, Hex-bot for boys and Spirograph for girls? Why does Lego have separate boy and girl versions of the same toy?

Actually, toy trucks aren't for boys and dolls for girls, so much as trucks are popular with boys and dolls with girls. Boys and girls play differently - that is an innate fact - but girls can dig together in the sandbox with the trucks and boys can fight villains with their dolls (or "action figures" if the word dolls makes you uncomfortable). It's just toys. Let kids be kids.

Objects do not have gender.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

16 hours ago, notme said:

I feel like the world is better off with some male and some female nurses. Wouldn't a man prefer to be cared for by a male nurse?

Which other careers are "feminine"? Elementary school teacher? (The male teachers that my kids have had were excellent.) Beautician? What careers do you think men should avoid?

Beautician, Obgyn, women's talk shows, ...

15 hours ago, Sumerian said:

That's the father's job. I'm saying babysitter as a career pursued by a guy - as in going to different homes and taking care of kids - that's a weird job for a guy. 

Partly agree, as l took care of my little nephew baby nephew while his parents worked until he old enough for daycare.I also use to be the "emergency baby sitter" for parents in the mosque.

15 hours ago, notme said:

It seems strange to me that things have gender. If everything is either strictly for males or strictly for females, how in the world are husbands and wives supposed to enjoy anything together, or even relate to reach other."

Girls have always played with dolls, but the strict gendering of all objects and activities is a new cultural phenomenon. It came along with and may be related to increases in sexual deviance.

"...to enjoy anything together, or even relate to _each other" --they end up with separate TVs, separate phones, separate sleep schedules, separate jobs, sit as far apart as possible in the car, and so on anywaySo why disrupt the natural order of things?

"Girls have always played with dolls, . . . "  This is from there natural inclination to socialize. Boys play with toy soldiers (tiny dolls).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, hasanhh said:

--they end up with separate TVs, separate phones, separate sleep schedules, separate jobs, sit as far apart as possible in the car, and so on anywaySo why disrupt the natural order of things?

Disagree. The happiest couples I've known were friends of each other and shared at least some common interests and enjoyed time together even after many years of marriage

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I had a home day care, the doll house was the most played with toy by all ages, and I only cared for one girl, the rest were boys.

Of course, it was populated with paramedics, firefighters, and policemen, and one boy with a cast and a dog, and the play consisted mainly of the adult figures rescuing the boy from high shelves or deep toy boxes. Sometimes they reversed it and the boy and dog rescued the adults, and sometimes disaster happened and everyone came crashing down on them all.

So... in summary, let them play with whatever toys they want to play with, and in whatever way is fun, so long as nobody is hurt by it. Boys playing with dolls aren't going to turn effeminate and girls playing with trucks aren't going to turn masculine. Lighten up, adults.

------

Adult careers: if no woman will let a male beautician do her hair and no man will let a female doctor or nurse care for him, the professional fields will self-segregate, no big deal.

-----

And finally, clothing: high heels, leggings, and lace blouses were all men's fashion before women started wearing them. Sure, it looks silly to us, who are used to different styles, but fashion is always changing and always will. Perhaps your grandson will be perfectly comfortable in dresses and your granddaughter would feel silly wearing dresses because they are "for men".

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, notme said:

let them play with whatever toys they want to play with

Kids will try to make-play out of anything they find. Like a cardboard box.

Now, on the farm, most of the warnings were "don't kill yourself" --like when we'd jump out of the hay mounds or swing from one end of the barn to the other[the rope was on the hay track which would slide along];, try to ride the animals; shoot birds with slingshots, shotguns, arrows or rifles; set traps; tried to build a boat, launch it into the pond, it sunk and we got stuck in the muddy bottom [my Dad had to throw us a rope to pull ourselves out]; 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe related.

https://time.com/5684822/mattel-gender-neutral-doll/?utm_source=pocket-newtab

I think it's just a gimmick to get people to react so they get free publicity, and maybe some people will buy more junk that they don't need. It's not a shift in thinking, it's just capitalism.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...