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Guest troubled

Please help me I have anger outbursts

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Guest troubled

I am a young mad who is known to be very calm and thoughtful. But once in a while I get short outbursts of anger when someone is annoying me  - especially at work. It lasts less than a minute and I immediately regret it. I keep things in for long and then just go crazy for a few seconds. I am never violent but very fiery with my language. Never cursing but just insulting people who have been annoying me. 

I am ashamed and want help.

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17 hours ago, Guest troubled said:

But once in a while I get short outbursts of anger when someone is annoying me  - especially at work. It lasts less than a minute and I immediately regret it

What are your triggers? 

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On 9/18/2019 at 3:56 PM, Guest troubled said:

once in a while I get short outbursts of anger when someone is annoying me  - especially at work.

You might want to Google "Intermittent Explosive Disorder"

On 9/18/2019 at 3:56 PM, Guest troubled said:

especially at work

better be careful of this, you could lose you job because of it

On 9/18/2019 at 3:56 PM, Guest troubled said:

I am never violent but very fiery with my language

Physical violence & verbal violence are essentially the same thing...its when your intent is to lash out and attack...whether you do it physically or verbally is just the manner in which you choose to act on it...however, the mental process is the same

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Guest troubled

My outbursts are uncommon. Individuals state I am a calm individual however they don't have the foggiest idea about that I can detonate. I don't shout like an insane person yet I get angry, raise my voice and utilize some of put down words. 

I work in an establishment for troubled young people who are inconsiderate, rude and badly behaved. Once in a while they drive me to the edge. I have an angry mother who is continually yelling at everybody for long stretches of time on end and is over emotional. it like walking on egg shells all day. She used to beat me up when I was a kid. No one in the family likes how they are. I think this is the reason I have simmering anger .... It's a constant fight. 

on rare occasions  it gets to where I have a go at my work colleagues. Once In the previous year I blew up at my manager for continually putting me down and criticizing me. He stopped after that. At some other point it was an associate who was too loud constantly. All the staff were grumbling yet it was me who got him moved to another office area since he was noisy. 

I cannot believe some of you thought I have mental issues. I just want to know how to deal with a colleague who might be making fun of me for weeks. I feel embarrassed to take them aside and saying please stop bullying me. When I do it sounds too relaxed. So it gets pent up and I get angry. 

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I was having a discussion with someone this morning about teaching kids how to address difficult situations while remaining calm and one thing we mutually agreed upon was that children get their conflict resolution style from their parents. Since your mother dealt with issues by yelling and getting anger outbursts this is what you learnt. As far as I can see you don't have anger issues, you just don't know how to deal with issues calmly. 

Edited by starlight

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You have to break this cycle because you will pass it on to your children.

I could give you some suggestions but the best thing would be to google 'conflict resolution skills' , pick a good book or two on the topic and start taking little steps towards dealing with issues timely (not holding something inside for too long and then blowing up like a pressure cooker) and calmly (conveying whatever is bothering effectively without getting agitated) 

Edited by starlight

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Guest troubled

I don't think my children will take it from me because  ... almost none outside these pressure environments see what happens. My dad is a very calm and gentle person.

In normal social life I am very calm. Where I work almost everyone gets angry and shouts at the trouble makers. It's just that I try not to do it for long spans and blow up worse then they do. My peaks are higher but fewer, You are correct I need to be brave and learn to deal with it earlier. My mom is impossible ...... if I speak calmly with her she says I am trying to dupe her. if I say calm down to her she says I am her child and got no rights to say that. She fights with everyone. I am not like my mom. I don’t like to shout but her constant shouting at me makes me angry inside. I need a release like martial arts.

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On 9/20/2019 at 6:07 AM, hasanhh said:

:gossip:"This guy in the OP would be a complete wreck if he was around me."

It’s not funny the guys asking for help and ur here mocking him grow up 

anyway, I can relate too. Most of the time I get easily angry and get annoyed, and it’s mostly at home. And as much as I don’t like it, yes it can be very hard to control. But sometimes the mind can just be so powerful, now that you have accepted the fact that you’re a angry person it’s time to take action. Nobody’s perfect but we can always try to be better. Just don’t stress too much about it, and do your best.

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1 hour ago, 3wliya_maryam said:

It’s not funny the guys asking for help and ur here mocking him grow up 

What is 'wrong' with trying to cheer him up?

People said about my father and his father that they were not happy unless they got mad once a day (every day).

Anyway, the OP can handle his annoyances once he learns how.

Guest Troubled can try something like reading while the TV is on.

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