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In the Name of God بسم الله

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Salam everyone,

I feel like this is a serious issue when it comes to family. sometimes we can have toxic siblings who refuse to listen or behave well, and it can be really hard to deal with them. My question is, should we continue trying to get along with them because they're family or can we just choose to distance ourselves from them? I mean I'm not perfect, in fact I'm actually very stubborn. They usually say that younger siblings look up to the older but that is not the case with me, I've been a bad role model. I can't do anything to fix it, and I honestly don't care anymore. It's because my siblings have different interests; the main reason as to why I can never get along with them is because we have literally nothing in common. I've noticed that they're into completely different things compared to me who has been living under a rock all her life. One who has been sensitive and short tempered her whole life, so it is hard being a role model. 

 

To everyone who has atleast one sibling you can get along with, one who you could share your interests, be grateful. Before it would kill me whenever I upsetted my sister because I wanted to get along with her so badly before, but now I've given up because I have realised her contempt towards me. And I don't want anyone here telling me that our siblings may say they hate us but deep down inside they love us, bc thats not necessarily true.

 

 

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deep down they love you whether you like it or not. scientifically proven as your genes and your immediate family's genes are the most similar, the closest, and so it is in your instinctual nature to feel greater affection to them whether it is happening now or not, deep down they love you. try going out together, show much kindness to them even if they don’t treat you anywhere close and eventually, with patience from your side, you get closer. also teach them knowledge.

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On 9/15/2019 at 8:52 AM, 3wliya_maryam said:

My question is, should we continue trying to get along with them because they're family or can we just choose to distance ourselves from them? 

It's just not possible unfortunately... 

https://www.al-Islam.org/greater-sins-volume-1-ayatullah-Sayyid-abdul-husayn-dastghaib-shirazi/seventh-greater-sin-qata-ar

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13 hours ago, Ali~J said:

The Holy Prophet (S) states:

There is destruction in enmity, especially with the relatives. I do not mean the destruction of the law but rather the destruction of the religion. (Enmity among people not only harms the hair and the body, but it also destroys one’s religion). 

- mushrikun (polytheists)

- severing of ties between families, strangers, couples

- enjoining evil & forbidding good

What if they do the above three. Should we wait to be Abelian or leave like Nabi Ibrahim(عليه السلام) as the land is vast?

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On 9/15/2019 at 12:52 PM, 3wliya_maryam said:

Salam everyone,

I feel like this is a serious issue when it comes to family. sometimes we can have toxic siblings who refuse to listen or behave well, and it can be really hard to deal with them. My question is, should we continue trying to get along with them because they're family or can we just choose to distance ourselves from them? I mean I'm not perfect, in fact I'm actually very stubborn. They usually say that younger siblings look up to the older but that is not the case with me, I've been a bad role model. I can't do anything to fix it, and I honestly don't care anymore. It's because my siblings have different interests; the main reason as to why I can never get along with them is because we have literally nothing in common. I've noticed that they're into completely different things compared to me who has been living under a rock all her life. One who has been sensitive and short tempered her whole life, so it is hard being a role model. 

 

To everyone who has atleast one sibling you can get along with, one who you could share your interests, be grateful. Before it would kill me whenever I upsetted my sister because I wanted to get along with her so badly before, but now I've given up because I have realised her contempt towards me. And I don't want anyone here telling me that our siblings may say they hate us but deep down inside they love us, bc thats not necessarily true.

 

 

When you grow up, it will be fine.

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I was very close to my sisters before I got married, but now I am not close to any one of them. One of my sisters is married, and her only interests is her kids. She has also become very serious and she often gets angry at me. I annoy her because I waste time and I am not getting married and having kids. The other sister has become my worst enemy. I honestly don't understand the reason for her hatred towards me. She wants to take everything from me, my relationships, my money, everything. I am sick of fighting with her, but I can never trust her. I don't know what to tell you, it's only going to get worse as you get older, and get married and have kids. 

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Table of Contents

Luqman

15. “And if they (both) contend with you that you should associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them, and keep company with them in (this) world kindly, and follow the way of him who turns to Me, then unto Me is the return of you (all) and then will I inform you of what you were doing.”

It is not necessary to obey parents when there is a deviated thing, but the ordinary way of life must always be observed.

https://www.al-Islam.org/enlightening-commentary-light-holy-Qur'an-vol-14/section-2-ethics-preached-through-luqman#surah-luqman-verse-15

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