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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Help with istimna problem

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Guest guest brother

Salam!

I have istimna problems. I don’t want to do again. it caused me suicidal toughts because of regrets and unworthy to be alive.

I tried quit many times but I relapse I make forgivness everytime and now my forgivness doesnt seem sincere anymore because I think I will relapse again. I am afraid this will continuie.

please brother and sister pray for me to quit this habit. I feel unworthy of having a Muslim wife. I feel unwourthy of praying to Allah.

when the desire is to much I feel like if I don’t do istimna I will get physcological problems. but if I do istimna Allah will hate me and I will dissapoint Allah.

this is huge problem I want to kill my nafs and never do istimna again. please brothers and sisters pray for me and ask forgivness for me.

this has caused me depresion. desire is to much and fasting don’t help.

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Wasalam, from what I understand you are addicted to masturbation?  If so, what I would suggest is for you to block any inappropriate websites using a website blocker, this way you can keep your mind more clean and there's less chance you will be encouraged to do it again. And change settings in your web browser to children mode in order to have the web browser automatically remove inappropriate content and to make it even more annoying to watch inappropriate stuff because you will keep needing to switch the settings back in order to access the inappropriate content.

I would also suggest not to watch romantic videos and pictures for a while too. Maybe also watch scary documentaries like those Islamic ones "life after death" or "Judgment day", etc to scare yourself into not doing masturbation I heard that works as well. Also Ask Allah continually to free you from this problem.

and I would highly suggest staying in public places, like with ur family, friends, etc. Because usually people do it when they are alone, and in private when there's no risk of being caught. 

and lastly If you are in the toilet don't spend that much time, don't ever bring your phone with you in the toilet nor anything else which can cause you to be in there longer than needed, leave the toilet as quick as possible and pray five times a day.

I don't know for sure if this will help because I'm no expert but Inshallah it will work or at least decrease the chances

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On 9/3/2019 at 4:07 PM, Guest guest brother said:

Salam!

I have istimna problems. I don’t want to do again. it caused me suicidal toughts because of regrets and unworthy to be alive.

I tried quit many times but I relapse I make forgivness everytime and now my forgivness doesnt seem sincere anymore because I think I will relapse again. I am afraid this will continuie.

please brother and sister pray for me to quit this habit. I feel unworthy of having a Muslim wife. I feel unwourthy of praying to Allah.

when the desire is to much I feel like if I don’t do istimna I will get physcological problems. but if I do istimna Allah will hate me and I will dissapoint Allah.

this is huge problem I want to kill my nafs and never do istimna again. please brothers and sisters pray for me and ask forgivness for me.

this has caused me depresion. desire is to much and fasting don’t help.

It is very sad brother. However, before commenting on this issue, I would like to ask what does it mean in English ?

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I have heard that ice cubes are very helpful, you could use one when you get tempted and it'll feel awful and hopefully make the desire go away.

However, please also think logically. Allah gave men (and women) sexual desire because HE WANTS you to be married and procreate if you can! Your desire is natural and should be taken care of in a halal way. Allah does not hate you, He put the desire in you and all young humans. Get married, no one is ready for marriage unless they've already been married before! Yeah you can learn more about Islam before getting married but why it off? Honestly, you'll be able to be a better Muslim if you have a partner who supports you through the trials iA.

 

 

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Salaam Alaykum brother,

First, don’t confess your sin in a public website. Its Haraam. You should keep it with yourself. Regarding your problem, do not be alone. Work out, find good religious friends and go out with them, try to distract your thought whenever you find yourself in that situation. Believe me, if you distract your thoughts in that situation, you never feel it again. Once you do it several times, it never happens again. Most importantly, talk with your parents about marriage. You can also do temporary marriage but talk with an experienced honest Muslim about temporary marriage (an honest experienced Muslim, not someone who easily encourages you to do Mutah. Not someone who has negative view on Mutah either. Someone who can guide you a bit on the matter).

Last but not least, do NOT be hopeless. Someone asked Imam Sadiq: "I try to avoid a sin and I do tawbah every single time, but I still do it". Imam Sadiq said: "Know that Allah loves you too much. don’t be hopeless on avoiding the sin"

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